Suggestions for a student who feels like a "loser" for taking "too long" to get into medical school

[Gauss44]

In the subject line is a common theme among some of my older students. Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom or constructive truths that may benefit this group? (Age range varies.)

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[Dressagequeen 247]

You get there when you get there. After having a horrible last semester with the "rush" mentality I realized that putting one foot in front of the other is the best way to think of things. Their goal is waiting for them, no need to run for the finish line.

 

[Lawgiver]

"Get over it already"

 

[Instatewaiter]

This is a marathon and not a sprint. If it takes you 1 or 5 times to get in, it will be that much sweeter when you do.

Also, you have at least 7 years of training so 1 or 2 extra years arent that big of a deal

 

[asyouwish]

I kind of have to agree with @Lawgiver. How badly do you want it? This is a path where your ego may be trod upon regularly. I suspect most of us older nontrads who have an acceptance have experienced this feeling once or twice or 50 times. I felt it recently when I learned someone from high school who was not at all impressive back then is already an MD. And I'm starting this year... But you have to focus on yourself and what you are trying to accomplish. I can say with 100% confidence that I was a much better applicant than I would have been 10 years ago, and I believe I will be a much better physician than I would have been when I was younger. It took me this long to be 100% sure this was my path. Every time I run into an obstacle I remind myself of how long I've been working towards this goal, and I plan to take that perspective into med school.

End rant. Hope something in there was useful.

 

[Mad Jack]

Why the hell would you be upset? I didn't start medical school until 29 and it was awesome because I got to enjoy all of my 20s rather than throwing them away in a lecture hall. I traveled, I loved, I lost, I worked a bunch of different jobs, I grew the **** up. I honestly can't think of a better way I could have done this.

It's all in how you perceive your journey dude, just look at all the good things you've done and been through that would never have happened if you'd gone straight through via the traditional route.

 

[CuriousDrifter]

In the subject line is a common theme among some of my older students. Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom or constructive truths that may benefit this group? (Age range varies.)

I understand the feeling completely. People may downplay it, or tell you to "get over yourself", which you will, but it is healthy to acknowledge it. I'm 26 (soon to be 27) years old. I felt like I have essentially wasted my 20s and I haven't done anything of real significance. I have a bachelor's degree, but I am pursuing a second bachelors (I felt it was essentially better than taking a informal post-bach program, and about the same amount of time.) and it is very ego-busting to hear people 5 years my junior talking about applying to medical school, taking the MCAT, being in research positions--all of which I have not done yet).
If I decide to do Medical school as oppose to PA school. I most likely won't get in until I'm 29. And It's just a frustrating mesh of "what ifs", "I'll only have so much time for __", etc.

It can be a really hard, life altering, financially crippling decision to make and when you're older it makes it that much more difficult.

I don't think this website helps that much, depending on the sections you look at.

But the best thing I can say is. We only have one (known) life to live. Slow down, enjoy it, don't worry so much. You will get there when you get there. Life is about the journey not the destination and all that jazz. It does hold some truth. What's more important? Being the most competent doctor possible or graduating from medical school "so young".


What are we rushing for? It will come.

 

[theSmurfette]

It took me 5 years from making the decision to go to medical school to actually matriculate. 4 cycles (1, TMDSAS & 3 AMCAS). I was 32 when I matriculated -- oldest in my class. My classmates appear to be in awe that I'm able to have a family (husband & 3 kids) and still be able to do med school. (They tell me regularly they don't know how I do it.)

My point is that this is where I wanted to be. It took me forever to get here & it was worth every moment because I wouldn't be the person I am without those trials and wondering if I would ever get in. We've lived and know what life is like -- they haven't!

 

[Law2Doc]

In the subject line is a common theme among some of my older students. Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom or constructive truths that may benefit this group? (Age range varies.)

We all live life for a finite time and all end up at the same place whether you go to med school or not. The only losers are those that didn't take their shot, and died with regrets. So what if you become an attending at 40 instead of 20? Who's judging you and why do you care what they think? To be honest most people you will meet down the road are going to be more amazed with the guy who went back to school later in life and became a doctor. Sounds like you've surrounded yourself with the actual "losers" in this story if they can't see it that way.

 

[adoctoralawyer]

"Loser" is a judgement on actions taken in the past. There's no constructive point in doing that. Rather, the focus should be on what can and should be done now and from now on. What's past is exactly that and there's no point judging it, only learning from it and taking constructive action.

 

[Goro]

Tell them it's not a sprint, but a marathon.

In the subject line is a common theme among some of my older students. Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom or constructive truths that may benefit this group? (Age range varies.)

 

[adoctoralawyer]

I would have ask, where is the student really coming from this? Is it someone just have momentary weakness, tiredness, feeling not up to par with siblings or reaching parental expectations, a long term struggling "mediocre" student who is nearly OCD about medicine? What are the student's motivation, commitment, concerns?

Wow, that's a really good point. The student may express it as "feeling like a loser for taking so long" but it may very well be that there are other more basic issues causing their unhappiness with entering medicine, in which case simply addressing the "loser" feeling will not solve the problem. Thanks for pointing this out.

 

[Law2Doc]

... While we can make general comments of marathon not sprint or age is just a number, its really why the student is feeling like a loser beyond just old

OP, I think gonnif just said relax, you might be a loser for reasons totally unrelated to your age or med school pursuits. .

 

[jl lin]

Define "loser." It can be a relative term. I mean, if you succeed greatly in your education and career, and then you aren't really there to help and be a part of your children's lives, does that fall under being a loser? In fact, it might hurt a lot more--and the hurt may last a lot longer.
We determine the meaning of "loser" based on our own values, no?

 

[CCEMTP]

Why the hell would you be upset? I didn't start medical school until 29 and it was awesome because I got to enjoy all of my 20s rather than throwing them away in a lecture hall. I traveled, I loved, I lost, I worked a bunch of different jobs, I grew the **** up. I honestly can't think of a better way I could have done this.

It's all in how you perceive your journey dude, just look at all the good things you've done and been through that would never have happened if you'd gone straight through via the traditional route.

Couldn't have said it better!

 

[jl lin]

"Get over it already"

Seriously. ^ This. Geez, there is so much with which to concern oneself in the MS edu process-- and in life in general. If someone wants to waste time feeling like a "loser," well, it's their time, dime, and rent-free space they are giving up in their minds. Excuse the rhyming. Just came out that way.

 

[dorothyntoto]

Life isn't a race. We all reach our destinations in our own time...

 

[darkeon]

One major volunteer activity has been so significant to me that it's actually keeping in check of myself. I think without it, I would have just burned out from classes and work throughout these past few years. I do occasionally ponder on things when I see my fellow high school or college mates with their jobs and living their new lives. But I do reflect back on what I wish to become and why. That usually gets me out of the dumbs.
I recommend some deep self-mediation. Write a journal or simply strengthen that support pool of friends and family you have.