Hi Everyone,
I could really use some support and advice related to my experience on internship. I'll try to give the brief version of the story. My due date was at the very beginning of this year, within a week of when my internship was supposed to start. I spoke to my TD about it and showed her the APPIC guidelines around this issue, and she told me that UCC's were "different." I also told her how other UCC's had handled pregnancy issues related to applicants, and she said that our site was "different" because of our site's Human Resources department. I brought this up more than a few times over the summer, and her response was generally very negative, and so I went with the only option she gave me - skyping in to internship from home, less than a week after my baby was born. Since then, my TD has made several comments that felt very invalidating. Most recently, when I asked for four hours of unpaid time off for the day after Christmas (I had used three days of my vacation when my baby was airlifted to a children's hospital a few weeks earlier), she explained that I should really try to earn more vacation time by working overtime and explained that even though I could "borrow" some vacation time from the next semester, she was hesitant to let me do so.
I then set up a meeting to talk with her very directly about how unsupported I have felt by her. I literally listed out all of the times that I had felt unsupported and explained to her that I did not believe this was a good site for women because of my experiences. Two days later, she set up an appointment with me and lectured me about how this was my fault because I had not been assertive enough in the beginning (I should have been more emotionally vulnerable rather than calm and rational when I presented my arguments), as well as other reasons that seemed very personal. Also, she kept telling me how she did not deserve to be treated the way that I treated her in our first talk. I'm pretty sure that if I ever responded to my supervisee in the attacking way that she responded to me, then I would be on some sort of probation. It was bad. My immediate supervisor is supportive, but I also get the sense that he is wanting to play it safe because of the politics involved. And overall, it feels pretty unsafe. (I even feel unsafe writing this because I'm afraid she'll somehow find out).
This confrontation has all happened within the last week and so it's still pretty fresh. I know that it has the potential to settle. But right now I would really appreciate any sort of support or advice that others could offer me.
I could really use some support and advice related to my experience on internship. I'll try to give the brief version of the story. My due date was at the very beginning of this year, within a week of when my internship was supposed to start. I spoke to my TD about it and showed her the APPIC guidelines around this issue, and she told me that UCC's were "different." I also told her how other UCC's had handled pregnancy issues related to applicants, and she said that our site was "different" because of our site's Human Resources department. I brought this up more than a few times over the summer, and her response was generally very negative, and so I went with the only option she gave me - skyping in to internship from home, less than a week after my baby was born. Since then, my TD has made several comments that felt very invalidating. Most recently, when I asked for four hours of unpaid time off for the day after Christmas (I had used three days of my vacation when my baby was airlifted to a children's hospital a few weeks earlier), she explained that I should really try to earn more vacation time by working overtime and explained that even though I could "borrow" some vacation time from the next semester, she was hesitant to let me do so.
I then set up a meeting to talk with her very directly about how unsupported I have felt by her. I literally listed out all of the times that I had felt unsupported and explained to her that I did not believe this was a good site for women because of my experiences. Two days later, she set up an appointment with me and lectured me about how this was my fault because I had not been assertive enough in the beginning (I should have been more emotionally vulnerable rather than calm and rational when I presented my arguments), as well as other reasons that seemed very personal. Also, she kept telling me how she did not deserve to be treated the way that I treated her in our first talk. I'm pretty sure that if I ever responded to my supervisee in the attacking way that she responded to me, then I would be on some sort of probation. It was bad. My immediate supervisor is supportive, but I also get the sense that he is wanting to play it safe because of the politics involved. And overall, it feels pretty unsafe. (I even feel unsafe writing this because I'm afraid she'll somehow find out).
This confrontation has all happened within the last week and so it's still pretty fresh. I know that it has the potential to settle. But right now I would really appreciate any sort of support or advice that others could offer me.