You really think socialization can be learnt ? I am always wondering if there is a way to improve that. What did you do to make the change ?
The simplest thing you can do is start talking to everyone. Small talk with the cashier, the person next to you in line, patients, etc... You want to intentionally put yourself in social situations no matter how uncomfortable you feel at that moment. The first few times you do this it's going to feel awkward and "unnatural" for you. Plow through it. This is especially most effective if the person you are speaking with intimidates you in someway. If you are a guy and you see a really attractive chick walking your way on the street, just ask her for the time. How hard can that be? Find out if you dare haha Eventually, you will desensitize yourself to these preconceived socially/culturally conditioned emotions that are stifling you from being social. If you want to be social but you can't, you have to admit that you have a problem.
Thanks for the words.
In the past few months, I have been trying to distract myself from being anxious, bored or sad. I hate to be emotional but sometimes life can be tough. I know I am definitely not the most miserable person here, but I just can't help feeling helpless. Certain things are just easier for certain group of person. I've got the freedom, so i guess it s time to trade it off with dependence and company.
When I was younger and felt in this way, I usually just book a flight and go home. Everything that I have was there. Family, friends, a home. But I am at mid-20s, and the cost of going home is not simply the price of flight tickets anymore. Parents are getting older and friends grew up already. I can't just go home and pretend that nothing has changed. At my age, I m supposed to handle my pressure on my own and start taking care of my family.
Sometimes I even started doubting my decision of applying for dental school. What is point if everything I care about is far away from me?
Memories are the most precious when your life is unreachable. You preserve them so deliberately like candies that you never dare to open the wrapper. As time passes by, you may suddenly realize the candy inside has gone.
Forgive my grammar mistakes. English is never my language.
"I have been trying to distract myself form being anxious, bored or sad" What you resist persists! I forget where I read that but it makes a lot of sense to me. Try to really think why you are feeling that way and it is important that you are being honest with yourself.
You most certainly do not have the freedom if you feel that you are "
supposed" to do anything. The whole anti-social thing is rooted in feelings of inadequacy. One can only feel inadequate if they compare themselves to other people or are trying to live up to standards created by someone other than yourself.
Here is an excerpt from one of the books I've read,
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, that helped me become more social and more. I strongly recommend that you read it, internalize it, and apply it!
"Freedom is the opportunity to live your life as you want to live it. And that is
possible, even if others remain as they are.
If you’re not free now, it might be because you’ve been preoccupied with the
people or institutions that you feel have restrained your freedom. I don’t expect you to
stop worrying about them merely because I suggest that you do.
I do hope to show you, though, that those people and institutions are relatively
powerless to stop you — once you decide how you will achieve your freedom. There
are things you can do to be free, and if you turn your attention to those things, no one
will stand in your way. But when you become preoccupied with those who are
blocking you, you overlook the many alternatives you could use to bypass them.
The freedom you seek is already available to you, but it has gone unnoticed.
There probably are two basic reasons you haven’t taken advantage of that freedom.
One reason is that you’re unaware of the many alternatives available to you.
You don’t have to go to jail to avoid exorbitant taxes. Nor do you have to be a social
leper if you refuse to knuckle under to social pressure. You don’t have to give up love in
order to avoid complicated, restrictive family problems. And you don’t have to go
without friends to avoid having your life at the disposal of others.
But if you’re unaware of additional alternatives, it’s easy to see these matters as being
either/or questions. Fortunately, there are additional alternatives — ways by which
you can have what you want without bringing bad consequences upon yourself.
The second reason you’re not free is because you’ve probably accepted without
challenge certain assumptions that restrict your freedom."
-Harry Browne
