The OFFICIAL Pre-med GUNNER thread

[Bradstein]

People were knocking around some great ideas over here: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=528556 but we need to go beyond this. chunglee is obviously not a real gunner, but some kind of troll. All us gunners need to get together and brainstorm for our own benefit. Let's start it off with some ideas from chunglee's thread:

And yes I do not share notes nor do I let others ever see my work...I also argue with my professor for every point possible. Why? Because if I believe I deserve points whether its .1% or 1% I should get it...

People just hate me when I tell them that I know how to do the problem they are stuck on.... and then proceed to not help them...

Rather than screw with the chemicals, just put them back in the wrong place...

What is the best way to go about being not helping people?...

But I've also come up with some novel ways to help people even less; ie, hurt them in some way (eg, tripping someone so they fall down a flight of stairs, or steal their most expensive textbooks), and then refuse to help them (eg, helping somebody up after they've fallen down a flight of stairs, or telling them I won't give their textbooks back even though I could).

Then, I add a third layer of unhelpfulness by adding insult to injury: I tell them that I'll help them, but only if they pay me some exorbitant amount of money or do me a favor. Sometimes, even when they pay me, I don't honor my side of the deal.

Alright guys, what are your ideas!! I have some great ones of my own, but I'm not willing to share them.

PS Mods sticky please

DISCLAIMER: This thread is a joke. I'm not a "gunner," and I don't think anyone who posted is, either.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[LikeClockWork]

I show up to every MCAT test date in my city to catch the test takers at the door and tell them it's been cancelled. Should reduce the applicant pool by a few dozen.

 

[Bradstein]

I show up to every MCAT test date in my city to catch the test takers at the door and tell them it's been cancelled. Should reduce the applicant pool by a few dozen.

Bro, that's one of the BEST ideas I've ever heard! I wish I had done that when I took the MCAT!

 

[Quix]

Yes, yes, all of you post here. It will make you easier to find when the revolution comes...

 

[seansss]

really? Come on now people it is summer, I know you have better things to do.....Or at least i hope you do.

 

[HanginInThere]

All us gunners need to get together and brainstorm for our own benefit.

Anyone who gives up their ideas obviously isn't a real gunner.

Sure, your thread might trick some gunner wanna-be's into posting suggestions, but do you really want to waste your time on those people?

 

[surfstarj]

Anyone who gives up their ideas obviously isn't a real gunner.

I was going to say that...

A real gunner would start a thread about how awesome they are at slacking to throw off some others.

which reminds me...

 

[HanginInThere]

I was going to say that...

Sure you were, slacker.

 

[Bradstein]

Sure you were, slacker.

That's awesome, fellow gunner. Undermining other people's confidence and desire to go into medicine is a great way to reduce the competition. Keep up the great ideas, folks!

 

[bawer234]

That's awesome, fellow gunner. Undermining other people's confidence and desire to go into medicine is a great way to reduce the competition. Keep up the great ideas, folks!

This thread is the perfect cover for you. By feigning your true interest in gunning, your rivals' guards will drop openning up endless opportunities for your Machiavellian goals.

 

[Bradstein]

This thread is the perfect cover for you. By feigning your true interest in gunning, your rivals' guards will drop openning up endless opportunities for your Machiavellian goals.

You're right. My reign of terror against the pre-meds of the internet is about to begin! I should have known a fellow gunner would be able to divine my intentions.

 

[chunglee]

this is stupid... not funny

 

[HanginInThere]

That's awesome, fellow gunner. Undermining other people's confidence and desire to go into medicine is a great way to reduce the competition. Keep up the great ideas, folks!

I thought I was just supporting surfstarj's gunnerish attempt to pretend she was a slacker, but you have pointed out the subcounscious gunning in my own actions.

Thanks, that was very helpful of you. A truly noble and non-gunnerly act.

 

[Bradstein]

this is stupid... not funny

You started it.

 

[majik1213]

luckily, Temple has a zero tolerance policy for gunners .. why? Because if you are a gunner, we'll shoot you .. welcome to Philly, the home of brotherly love

 

[LikeClockWork]

I also go to the campus coffee shop the night before exams and switch the labels for the decaf and regular coffee! The regular-addicts drop like flies at midnight and the decaf-lovers are too agitated to study well!

 

[bodonid]

we already have an official place for premed gunners...

It's called pre-Allo.

(duh...)

 

[Tin Man]

Most of the gunners are not NEARLY as smart as they think they are if they really believe that their IP addresses can't be found on this board from anyone who took a high-school programming class...

Good luck with interviews, all!

 

[Bradstein]

Most of the gunners are not NEARLY as smart as they think they are if they really believe that their IP addresses can't be found on this board from anyone who took a high-school programming class...

Good luck with interviews, all!

What happens if they find out our IP address? Call the internet police on us?

 

[Tin Man]

What happens if they find out our IP address? Call the internet police on us?

Nope. But IP addresses can easily find out which city you're in, what email addresses you have, and pretty much everything else that can be used to find out who you are. Makes interviews difficult when the interviewing schools get some anonymous letters from gunning anti-gunners, huh?

Geez, I thought gunners were supposed to know everything.

 

[45408]

The best post regarding gunners I ever saw said this: if you were truly a great gunner, you would HELP your classmates, just so when you got the highest score on the test, you've beaten them at their best.

If you're pulling a Tonya Harding to your Nancy Kerrigans, it just shows that you lack intelligence.

 

[LikeClockWork]

I find out fellow pre-meds IP addresses and send them viruses that opens their personal statement file and changes every period into an exclamation point and winking emoticon.




I've wanted to be a doctor ever since I saw my grandfathers surgery! ;-)

 

[Bradstein]

Nope. But IP addresses can easily find out which city you're in, what email addresses you have, and pretty much everything else that can be used to find out who you are. Makes interviews difficult when the interviewing schools get some anonymous letters from gunning anti-gunners, huh?

Geez, I thought gunners were supposed to know everything.

I'm sure adcoms put a lot of stock into anonymous letters about their applicants.

 

[Tin Man]

I'm sure adcoms put a lot of stock into anonymous letters about their applicants.

If it contains posts and that sort of evidence, sure. It's better than MySpace.

Think what you want. I did, in fact, see a guy rejected from Mayo because he couldn't explain away some posts he made on this board. Well, maybe it's hard to guess EXACTLY why he was rejected, but given he had extremely good stats, and the interview was going very well until then, well...

But each to his own, no? God bless people who actually care about medicine...

 

[HanginInThere]

I find out fellow pre-meds IP addresses and send them viruses that opens their personal statement file and changes every period into an exclamation point and winking emoticon.




I've wanted to be a doctor ever since I saw my grandfathers surgery! ;-)

Having this post directly below one by TheProwler really shows off how similar your two avatars are! ;-) That's scary! ;-)

 

[45408]

I'm sure adcoms put a lot of stock into anonymous letters about their applicants.

You are correct. However, they don't really like it when they get drunken letters from their applicants at 3am. Yeah, sure you didn't write that e-mail about how the dean is bangin' and your tour guide was sexay.

Hope your password selection is strong.

 

[Bradstein]

You are correct. However, they don't really like it when they get drunken letters from their applicants at 3am. Yeah, sure you didn't write that e-mail about how the dean is bangin' and your tour guide was sexay.

Hope your password selection is strong.

This is even harsher than the UCLA kids who sabbotage eachother in o-chem lab.

 

[bawer234]

this is stupid... not funny

Getting jealous due to the lack of attention?

 

[LikeClockWork]

Having this post directly below one by TheProwler really shows off how similar your two avatars are! ;-) That's scary! ;-)

Are...are you coming on to me? Because that would be super! ;-)

 

[dienekes88]

Eat the feces of other premeds. In some cultures, this is thought to capture the intellectual aura of the individual and transfer it to the eater.

 

[LikeClockWork]

Eat the feces of other premeds. In some cultures, this is thought to capture the intellectual aura of the individual and transfer it to the eater.

Then my dog is the smartest dog in the world!

 

[surfstarj]

I thought I was just supporting surfstarj's gunnerish attempt to pretend she was a slacker, but you have pointed out the subcounscious gunning in my own actions.

Thanks, that was very helpful of you. A truly noble and non-gunnerly act.

Nope, i think something is up. Steal his orgo book so he can't study for the MCAT.

 

[Bradstein]

Nope, i think something is up. Steal his orgo book so he can't study for the MCAT.

The joke's on you, I already took the MCAT. Mua ha ha! Please don't hack AAMC and mess my score up

 

[dienekes88]

The joke's on you, I already took the MCAT. Mua ha ha! Please don't hack AAMC and mess my score up

Oooh... but it was only a 37. The other gunners probably thought you were retaking it. A true gunner would...

Edit: Hahaha. Holy crap. I never thought I would say something like that even in jest.

 

[HanginInThere]

Nope, i think something is up. Steal his orgo book so he can't study for the MCAT.

People actually bother studying for that thing?

 

[Bradstein]

People actually bother studying for that thing?

Oh yeah, uh, I meant I didn't even look at my o-chem book. I didn't get EK either. My prep consisted of thinking about how great I am for 5 min prior to the test. And making everyone in the waiting room nervous by talking about how important the test is and how HARD it is.

 

[AmericanPsycho]

CHUNGLEE FOR PRESIDENT!!!

 

[bawer234]

Oh yeah, uh, I meant I didn't even look at my o-chem book. I didn't get EK either. My prep consisted of thinking about how great I am for 5 min prior to the test. And making everyone in the waiting room nervous by talking about how important the test is and how HARD it is.

I didn't even bother taking the pre-req's before I applied this year. In truth it doesn't really matter, all you need is a good personal statement, everyone knows that.

 

[Law2Doc]

The best post regarding gunners I ever saw said this: if you were truly a great gunner, you would HELP your classmates, just so when you got the highest score on the test, you've beaten them at their best.

If you're pulling a Tonya Harding to your Nancy Kerrigans, it just shows that you lack intelligence.

Well, a gunner's mentality is much like that of two campers who disturb a grizzly bear. You don't have to outrun the bear to survive, you just have to outrun the other camper. So no, as a gunner you would never help your classmates (except maybe off a cliff). Your mentality is that you only win if they lose.

 

[bawer234]

Well, a gunner's mentality is much like that of two campers who disturb a grizzly bear. You don't have to outrun the bear to survive, you just have to outrun the other camper. So no, as a gunner you would never help your classmates (except maybe off a cliff). Your mentality is that you only win if they lose.

Of course you help them! You help them out with small deeds and minor favors while simultaneously sabotaging their future. Observe…

As a gunner, you must place your iron fist inside a velvet glove and stab your colleagues in the back while displaying only the warmest of smiles on your face. Never show your true intentions, as you run the risk of showing your true objectives (which will be compromised). Instead, it is best to pose as a friend and work as a spy. Reveal false secrets to get your enemies to reveal true confessions. Then, when the time is right, strike boldly and decisively, making sure to crush your enemies entirely so they pose no further threat to you and, more importantly, your ambitions.

Discover your colleagues "thumb-screws" and turn them to manipulate their words and actions to your liking. Create a false front for them which leads them to assume your goals are different from what you really desire. This can be accomplished through the use of red-herrings and lies that, though believable to outsiders, are far from reality. By playing dumber than your mark, you make them feel intelligent, and most importantly of all, they feel more intelligent that YOU. This will inevitably lead to a lowering of their guard which then presents your opportunity to strike! Always remember, you must keep your hands clean. Use a cat's paw to accomplish your goals while remaining distant from the destruction and chaos. If you have an alibi, no one can convict you of anything.