Recently I learned that this forum provides a way to make that wait in the ER a little more entertaining.
I had to take my wife into the ER. After a turn through Triage, we ended up sitting in a far corner out of sight of the front desk. Shortly
afterwards a frequent flying seeker started a masters-level performance in the waiting room, after having her request for drugs turned
down. We couldn't see the patient, but there was absolutely no need to. This woman used every last argument ever mentioned on here,
and simply moved on to the next trick when the last one failed, like she was running a mental checklist:
• Operatic groans of pain (stopped as soon as she realized they weren't working)
• "But I'm sick"
• It's my kidneys/gall bladder/sciatica/allovermyalgia, and you just don't understand my pain
• I need the d medicine, cuz I'm allergic to everything else
• I had a script for the good D medicine, but I lost it. See, what happened was....
• I have a pain contract, but the doctor's out of town and I lost the number
• I came here from over 30 miles away, cuz the closer hospitals won't treat me for some reason
• I don't care what your records say about all those other visits under other names, this time the pain's the real deal
• Lemme tell you 'bout the accident. See, what happened was....
• Imma file a complaint
• My friend, she knows the hospital director, and she's gonna file a complaint
• You're racist, and discriminating against me (the doctor, the patient, and the two security guards standing by to throw her out were all
people of color)
• Imma get my lawyer, and sue all y'all up in here
• I'm not leaving till you treat my pain
• I'm not leaving without a taxi voucher
• I'm not leaving
• Don't touch me you freakin rent-a-cops, I'm leaving (does not move)
• I'm leaving, and if I die, it'll be your fault (finally leaves)
As the performance continued, I squinched lower and lower in my chair, stifling the chuckles with a massive face-palm. The wife asked
me what was going on. I had to explain that I had been playing "Frequent Flyer Bingo" in my head, and we had been listening to a
"winner" for the last 45 minutes.