About the ads

Things I Learn From My Patients

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by docB, May 2, 2003.

  1. SDN is a nonprofit organization. Services are made possible through the generous support of SDN members and sponsors. Thank you.
  1. TrumpetDoc

    TrumpetDoc Waitin' for July!!

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    SDN 2+ Year Member

    SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads)
    A bullet through both eyes does not a fun night make


    Thumb typed from iPhone using Tapatalk
  2. Birdstrike

    Birdstrike

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,855
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Seen that a few times. Gun to temple, just a little far too forward, clips both optic nerves, through and through but no brain hit as tract of bullet is 100% below anterior cranial fossa. Oops.

    Thing learned: If you're going to shoot yourself, don't just clip your optic nerves, rendering yourself blind, yet completely awake and alive for the long haul.
    bkz likes this.
  3. Serous Demilune

    Serous Demilune

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2014
    Messages:
    159
    Status:
    Medical Student
    Least you could do is pick up a Netter's before you kill yourself.
  4. Spinach Dip

    Spinach Dip Delicious with nachos

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2012
    Messages:
    1,648
    Location:
    Earth
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Damn. I'm not a good rapper.

    I guess I'll have to work on those skills before ED rotations.
  5. Birdstrike

    Birdstrike

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,855
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    If not, your rotation will turn you into one.

    #Lighterman
  6. CajunMedic

    CajunMedic

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2009
    Messages:
    285
    Location:
    Ethel, LA
    Status:
    Medical Student (Accepted)
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    Depending on the patient, you could go George Thorogood on 'em, "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"
    Cytarabine likes this.
  7. Birdstrike

    Birdstrike

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,855
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Nice. Love the Buffett-cover avatar, too. Love old school Buffett. A-1-A, great stuff.
  8. JustPlainBill

    JustPlainBill Attending

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    405
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    SDN 7+ Year Member
    Nor does being turned into an organ donor by a pissed off girlfriend who puts a .22 into the temple......lizard brain still works but higher function is gone.....
  9. Birdstrike

    Birdstrike

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,855
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    FYI- Lizard brain does not seem to hinder ones ability to fill out a Press Ganey survey, nor is it in the exclusion criteria, either.


    (You're welcome. That's what I'm here for.)
    ThoracicGuy and njac like this.
  10. bkz

    bkz custom title

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2009
    Messages:
    1,091
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    Missing the real thread :/
  11. Cybrludite

    Cybrludite

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Location:
    Metairie, Louisiana
    Status:
    Pre-Health (Field Undecided)
    I'm the night shift IT guy for a hospital system in the New Orleans area, and occasionally am down in our Main Campus ED fixing printers & such. A few years back I'm removing some malware off of a computer right next to the psych observation room as the following conversation happens.

    Restrained Patient: ::repeatedly:: Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Just... just take me back to where I was ten minutes ago, and I'll be good, I promise!
    Scary Vietnam Vet Security Guy: Damn, that's getting annoying.
    Me: How long has he been in there?
    SVVSG: 'Bout 45 minutes or so.
    Me: Sooooo, what you're saying is he *is* right where he was ten minutes ago.
    SVVSG: ::chuckles as he catches my drift:: The Lord does work in mysterious ways, don't He?
  12. Evisju7

    Evisju7

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2014
    Messages:
    87
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    owwwwww. That sounds awful.
  13. sanityonleave

    sanityonleave Adrenaline Junkie

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    429
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    I learned something from one of my patients today--

    I was standing in the room listening to the nurse asking her assessment questions, and as part of their assessment, our nurses always ask a SH including living situation. Cue this scene:

    RN: "Do you feel safe at home?"
    Patient: "Um, no, not really"
    RN: "Why is that?"
    Patient: "... I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I don't feel safe anywhere!"

    I had to hand it to her... that's a pretty good argument.
  14. KLPM

    KLPM

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Messages:
    440
    I would f*cking love to be standing there listening to this and trying my hardest not to laugh.
    Evisju7 likes this.
  15. Jumpstartmy5HT

    Jumpstartmy5HT Bronze Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    491
    Status:
    Medical Student
    "White juice" is an acceptable urban colloquialism for propofol.
    MedWonk likes this.
  16. MedWonk

    MedWonk 高飛車

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    1,390
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    -Smashing the bottom of a wine bottle against a wall may not be the best way to open it.
    -Shoving pieces of a Klondike Bar into one's vagina may not, in fact, enhance sexual pleasure. Nor will getting a beej from someone who just ate a meal full of hot chili peppers.
    Birdstrike likes this.
  17. KLPM

    KLPM

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Messages:
    440
    njac and MedWonk like this.
  18. acceptmeplease

    acceptmeplease

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2013
    Messages:
    332
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    There are worse things to which it could refer.
    Psai and Evisju7 like this.
  19. EDMD4LIFE

    EDMD4LIFE

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Broom handles do not belong in vaginas. When plastic cap with hook gets lodged in the cervix and stays there for weeks, the pain and foul discharge will be intense. Plus, you won't be able to hang your broom up anymore.
    MedWonk likes this.
  20. wholeheartedly

    wholeheartedly Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,271
    Location:
    Beyond the Wall
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    :uhno:
  21. Cytarabine

    Cytarabine

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2014
    Messages:
    133
    Status:
    Medical Student
    Apparently if your hba1c is 12+, you become hypoglycemic at a glucose of 130
  22. Evisju7

    Evisju7

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2014
    Messages:
    87
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    I just don't even understand how that's possible. Fish it out dangit! WEEKS? lawd.
  23. wholeheartedly

    wholeheartedly Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,271
    Location:
    Beyond the Wall
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member

    Alcohol involved maybe. Too drunk at the time to realize the whole thing didn't come out?

    So just out of curiosity, how often do people come in with actual sex toys as the issue (being used as designed)? Do you ever just say hey, they make things for this purpose?
  24. Evisju7

    Evisju7

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2014
    Messages:
    87
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Good question. Why buy a real one when you can find the same shape for free around the house? Kidding. (Toothbrushes even vibrate)
  25. acceptmeplease

    acceptmeplease

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2013
    Messages:
    332
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    I've seen men come in with very large sex toys lodged and they swear it's the first time they've ever used them :/
  26. TrumpetDoc

    TrumpetDoc Waitin' for July!!

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Further reaffirmed the observation that those who commit horrible vehicular crimes killing people/almost killing child, never seem to get badly injured themselves. EtOH is protective from self harm in MVCs :/



    Thumb typed from iPhone using Tapatalk
    RespectTheChemistry19 likes this.
  27. EDMD4LIFE

    EDMD4LIFE

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    If you are having severe flank pain...just like your last pyelo...you should smoke a bunch of meth "to help with the pain". Two days later, present to your nearest ER with sepsis, and look at your doctor like they have 3 heads when they ask why you didn't try Tylenol or motrin for your pain. Your response should be: "cause I don't like takin' no pills".
    Psai, wholeheartedly and Birdstrike like this.
  28. Saddleshoes

    Saddleshoes

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Messages:
    307
    Status:
    Dentist
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    Well I guess I spent too much time working in a correctional center, because this guy actually makes sense to me!
Similar Threads
  1. loo
    Replies:
    909
    Views:
    232,690
  2. OldPsychDoc
    Replies:
    12
    Views:
    3,579
Loading...

Share This Page


About the ads