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Things I Learn From My Patients

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by docB, 05.02.03.

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  1. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    WHAT. I mean... in the thigh?? :wow:
     
  2. Spinach Dip

    Spinach Dip Delicious with nachos

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  3. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    Well, I'm a woman, so I'm not too worried. *click*

    Hmm. With a warning like that, I was expecting horrifying pics. How disappointing. :rolleyes:

     
  4. SoCuteMD

    SoCuteMD

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    Toradol worked better for pain I had than ibuprofen (taken regularly and dosed correctly!). I actually went to my doctor's office and begged for a repeat dose of IM Toradol. They happily gave it to me.
     
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  5. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    I keep misreading "Toradol" as "Tramadol". :confused:
     
  6. Aquar1us

    Aquar1us

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    They gave Meaghan (our beagle) Tramadol when she tore her tendon in her knee. So that's a pretty appropriate pic! LOL
     
  8. Aquar1us

    Aquar1us

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    some of the stories emailed in by members of nursesareangels.com:

    I work as a Diabetic specialist nurse. An elderly lady was in clinic, and I asked her if she could read the eye chart for me covering her left eye.
    "I can' t dear," came her reply.
    Okay cover your other eye and read the chart.
    "I can't dear," was the reply again.
    I thought for a moment. then asked if she could read.
    "Oh yes dear" came the reply.
    Well read the chart for me then.
    "I can't dear," came the reply again.
    By this time I was puzzled. So asked if she could see the chart.
    "Oh yes dear," came the reply.
    Feeling frustrated by this time, I asked why she could not read the chart.
    The answer came "because I can't pronounce it!"
    Submitted by: Christine Pearson

    I was interviewing an elderly man who was being admitted to my unit. I finally got to the cardiovascular conditions and asked him if he had angina. He replied "Why no! That is a female part." - Submitted by April Cummings

    When I was a student a nursing colleague of mine was asked by a patient if his testes had gone black. Silently she pulled the screens around the bed, asked him to drop his pyjama bottoms and had a look. 'No everythings fine,' she reassured him, 'What made you think something was wrong?' 'I didn't think anything was wrong,' he replied, 'I only asked if my test results had come back.' Submitted by: Julia Macdonald

    One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

    A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed,"You're not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater."

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch." The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see....Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

    While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive."

    And of course, the best is saved for last.... A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
     
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  9. Aoirann

    Aoirann

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    So it turns out even at a hospital a person can suddenly have a severe allergic reaction and died. I'll miss you Monty Oum.
     
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  10. Aoirann

    Aoirann

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    If your friend is in the ICU please don't bring him crack. If you must bring him crack, make sure he is not on oxygen. If he is on oxygen at least don;t use a homemade pipe for that. If you do to all of the above you will set fire to the ICU and be arrested on multiple felony counts.
     
  11. Aoirann

    Aoirann

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    Also from personal experience. If you are at one of the larger anime conventions in America do not high hive over 100 random people at one time and then not wash your hands for a few hours. You will be lucky to only have a sore throat and uvulitis for two weeks afterwards and be prone to uvulitis afterwards.
     
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  12. Warwick

    Warwick

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    Been a member for some years. Doesn't make me any smarter.

    Things a head trauma and adrenalin make possible and where the concussion won't help in the decision making process.

    Idiot Pt (me) is doing his usual thing of being an invisible ninja (riding a bicycle while wearing lots of fluorescent stuff and reflective stuff on a bike with 4 rear lights, 3 front lights and side lights on the front wheels).

    Truck didn't see me and substantial bits of me got to meet the side of the truck as he passed and the air drag got me. Amazingly nothing was fatal or particularly severe as these things go individually.

    When I came to at the side of the road I was a touch confused and in pain. Brief investigation showed a broken right arm (and elbow and collarbone). Found remains of phone in pocket somewhat wet too (that'd be blood then).

    It hurt too much to cough and it was tough breathing. Given that no car was stopping to see why there was something resembling a christmas tree flashing away in the gutter of the rural main road, I decided that I needed to get *somewhere* so I stood up to grab my bike.

    Then I fell over and made the fascinating discovery that I was bleeding profusely from where that bit of bone was sticking out of my jeans.

    I've only a little medical training and wasn't in the best shape for thinking straight so the next bit is mostly reconstructed from how I presented at the A&E (ER).

    I have a tendency to carry odd stuff around so my rear bike rack and panniers have ratchet straps and bungee cords in excess attached. I applied a direct pressure strap to my leg where it was bleeding and a looser tourniquet to just above. I managed to strap my right arm into a safe position.

    I disconnected the front brake of the bike because the wheel was too buckled for the brake to be effective.

    I got on the bike and started riding for help. Dropping a 24 speed bike into bottom gear is pretty efficient and I use pedals with straps so I can exert a pull on the upstroke too so riding with one working leg is quite easy too if you are properly conscious!

    I *don't* know how.

    My proper memory kicks in when I got to the A&E and I had to decide how to get out/off the contraption I had strapped myself to. I decided that the doors were automatic and that I could probably stop and lean at the reception desk without dismounting.

    Managed that.

    Reception: You can't ride a bike in here!
    Me: Turning head to show the *wounded* side. Erm, I've been hit by a truck, need some help here.

    Then I fell asleep a bit.

    Next thing that happened woke me a bit. They unstrapped me.

    Me: Whatever you do, if you can get away with it, *don't* give me blood. I'm a universal donor and also a donor for a couple of the stupidly rare blood types check my wallet. Get on to the blood transfusion service!


    A bit later - I woke up in a ward. Lots of statements to give (no there's not a chance of finding the truck that did it) (try the one from the nissan plant with blood down the side?).

    Blood loss was kinda at the point where people were arguing *still* but since I'd been explicit and they'd checked, my being awake was kind of a victory for those who spotted that although I'm an ectomorph, I'm one with a history of cycling 200 miles per week and could handle it a bit.

    Turns out I was out for 6 hours.

    I was an inpatient for 3 weeks. I'm still getting physio.

    I ordered pizza delivered once a friend bought me a new phone for all the people who made sure that I was OK and helped me heal.

    Looking forward to getting back on my new bike soon.

    The other one was stolen from outside A&E
     
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  13. Warwick

    Warwick

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    Oh, Sir, you forgot to tell us you are *extremely* allergic to Ibuprofen.
    I am?
    I guess I know now.
     
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  14. Volshe

    Volshe C'est la vie!

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    I'm not a doctor, but I have been in the ER far too many times for far too many reasons
    (Just kidding, I am pre-med with an interest in EM and I volunteer).

    When you are in the ER for your "migraine that's so *terrible* your head is going to explode any second", the doctors and nurses will definitely appreciate your ordering of potato wedges and making out with your girlfriend in the waiting room. They'll also appreciate your inviting two rowdy friends to keep you company. Then, when you finally get a bed (and the nurse breaks up your little party), feel free to make a ruckus about how you "just have to be seen" and wander the halls asking for a nurse repeatedly while eating the aforementioned potato wedges. Your girlfriend will call for you to get back in the room, then also yell at the nurses about how badly you need to be seen.

    The doctor will tell you to stop eating, but you're *just so hungry*, so it's okay if you sneak off and continue your feast...then continue pressing your call bell every 5-10 minutes and sending your girlfriend out to bug the nurses.

    The doctor will order an IV with non narcotic pain medication, no matter how much you beg for some of the strong stuff in the pills because the IV doesn't ever work. Your girlfriend will tell you to just get the IV medicine so you can go home.

    The nurses and doctors will then laugh and smirk as you scream because you are scared of the IV. :)

    I was expecting her to be in on the drug seeking and that he'd be at least okay with an IV, but oh, it was a very good twist.
     
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  15. Spinach Dip

    Spinach Dip Delicious with nachos

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    PRICELESS!!
     
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  16. Aquar1us

    Aquar1us

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    O.O
    :whoa:
    well this escalated quickly...
    wow... I mean-over 100?? that is off the scale man
    I'd be like - WORTH IT
    at least after this #insaneantigenicconditioning you won't be getting autoimmune diseases haha. House will be disappoint :oldman:

    Warwick: Your tale is just epic. There is no other word for it. The fact that after your acute truck exposure you did not crawl onto the edge of the road and scream at passing motorists 'have mercy on a dying man! oh the humanity'
    but self-presented on a bike right up to the admissions desk... :cool::=|:-)::bow:
     
  17. Warwick

    Warwick

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    That was stupidity/stubbornness/head injury. I rode past at least 4 public payphones, 2 service stations, 3 pubs and probably some people. I knew I had to get to hospital so I did. The road where I was hit is kinda quiet but fast and outside town so people just don't slow on it (and I try to avoid it... and will *really* avoid it now). I'm looking into some helmet gadgets that have accelerometers, GPS and cellphone capabilities. They notice the sudden bangs and then the not moving and start sending texts with your location to people. Not exactly cheap but not *that* much compared to bleeding to death in a ditch.
     
  18. Warwick

    Warwick

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    Things I learned from *other* patients is probably as close as I can get. I pieced this one together from A&E and acute care.

    I don't know the street names of drugs and certainly not the USAian equivalents. A patient was admitted while I was nice, stable and awake and awaiting transfer to acute care. Bleeding profusely from lots of small scrapes and strapped down hard, screaming abuse and spitting blood from a face that looked like he'd been hit with a brick. Presenting with lots of pain and his left arm velcroed to his chest... accompanied by 2 police officers. Paramedics told the triage nurse they were 90% sure he had fractures on that arm and the collarbone was busted but they couldn't do anything about it until he came down a bit.

    Next ambulance in came a youngish guy in a suit, walking, but a sling on and a huge bleeding cut across his head a police officer with him too but looking concerned rather than heartily annoyed. He got put in he cubicle next to me and well.. curtains not walls.

    The walking guy got a brief check and it was decided a cautionary x-ray to his fist, wrist and stitches to the head wound would be needed. The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.

    The police officer in the next cubicle asked if it was OK to start getting proper details for a statement and to patient agreed.

    A few minutes later, I remembered the existence of this thread and resolved to go find it once I got back.

    We'll call the guy in the next cubicle Tim (his middle name with the first name being Vic).

    He'd been out with friends and had called a Taxi to collect him from the corner of a residential road and the main road. He was looking at something on facebook on his phone when a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.

    ... and now the existence of this thread finally surfaced and I had to bite my lip to stop laughing (because it'd hurt with a couple of cracked ribs).

    So he was SOCMOB when this dude....

    Actually, he really *was*.

    The nutjob accused him of laughing at him and wasn't listening to reason and then swung a bottle at him but staggered and knocked the bottom of it off on a tree so a chunk caught him on the temple. Tim kept going backwards and was dialling 999 (911 equivalent). As Tim was running out of street, psycho got annoyed at not connecting any blows and told him to try and punch him. Tim was getting annoyed so took his one and only swing at Nutjob.

    Nutjob went down hard and bounced back up! He complained that Tim hadn't waited for him to be ready!

    I have had time to come to love the logic of such people during my brief sojourn in the traumatic part of the health system.

    It turns out that nutjob had a couple of passengers and they came sprinting down the road to drag him away at this point.

    Tim was still talking to emergency services.

    Nutjob broke free and sprinted as fast as Tim had ever seen anyone run at him. Tim did the sensible thing and sidestepped. Nutjob kept moving and went through a pyracantha hedge and face first into an oak tree.

    Tim was a bit concerned because he hadn't intended this so went to check that psycho was OK and on the phone asked for an ambulance to be added and headed in through the hedge to check psycho was alive.

    Then his mates (friends) arrived. They decided that our Tim had had enough, was going to beat the hell out of psycho and set about punching and kicking him. He had had enough and was sober. This didn't go well for them. The police turned up about a minute later.

    All 3 had been taking "Speed" and drinking. So EtOH mixed with amphetamines makes a bad mix that can lead to psychosis.

    Fast forward 2 days. Acute care ward. Psycho is in the next area to mine and still causing trouble. I'm stitched up and am loaded up with quite a bit of plaster of paris equivalent.

    Psycho shouts out that since he hit the buzzer 30 seconds ago and nobody has come he's going to **** the bed.

    I'm not supposed to be out of bed yet but since I'm actually kinda physically fit and coordinated and can handle pain and... *oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*

    I wheeled around the corner.

    "You slowed down my treatment in ER"
    "What you going to do about it you flid?"

    Not sure what flid is.

    #Pushes him back down onto his performance art.

    "Now, You have a choice. You destroyed this sheet and are covered in your own sh*t. Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem. You can ask really nicely and be pleasant to the staff or I can.. oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns.... I can ring your mum and tell her all about it.
    psycho: you *******************************************************8
    Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?
     
  19. suberogator

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  20. Aoirann

    Aoirann

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    Well the Crack thing is that, depending on how much more oxygen a person need, can be anywhere from 1.5 times more oxygen then what is in the atmospher up to pure oxygen. So any flames and combustables are going to go up quick. Apparently the curtains caught fire. So he had possestion of crack, disturbuting crack, and even arson if the DA thinks they can get it to stick. Police don't like it when you set fire to ERs. And the con. Well the Dealers room wasn't open yet so there was a line for it that went about half a block long. As I said one of the largest anime cons in the US.
     
  21. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    I honestly don't see how that could be arson. Isn't arson premeditated? I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to set the ER on fire; that part at least was (probably) an accident.

    Well no, I'd imagine not!
     
  22. Spinach Dip

    Spinach Dip Delicious with nachos

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    There's a saying for that. It's something like "throw the book at 'em and see what sticks."
     
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  23. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    Yeah. I bet he's got prior offenses going for him too. They'll be pretty eager to lock him up!
     
  24. Aoirann

    Aoirann

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    The arson charge was kinda a "YOU WOUND UP SETTING FIRE TO AN ICU! YOU ****ING IDIOT!" Moment. Probably will plea down that one. For bonus points, he had stashed his gun in an hospital bathroom after the fire as he knew the police wouldn't like that. And he sent his friend into the burn unit on top of the original reason for being in the ICU.
     
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  25. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    Jesus. He's a one-man crime spree! Unbelievable!
     
  26. Aquar1us

    Aquar1us

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    O.O
    that escalated something hardcore...
    you can imagine this legendary citizen's thought processes on that day:
    what!?! my friend That Other Dude is in hospital?? oh man we used to be Those Two Dudes... we used to just take people DOWN... all those tough motherfuc!ers SOCMOBing back from church... maybe god was trying to tell them something lol
    but now That Psycho Dude hasn't come back from his holidays in britain... rumour has it he faceplant an English Oak and now them limeys got him strap down to a hospital bed securely. now I gotta do all the everything myself... and I gotta get into ambush position always, because I only jump people for some reason
    whew... back from the dealer's den. lookit that! some crystalline vaporable milk of mercy for my bud in hospital! and my best DIY crack pipe, the Vapor Bomb! he's gonna be so happy!!
    (can't forget muh personal firearmz. cos you never know in places like those...)
    hi how are you bud! what's that tube? they got you breathing... oxi-jean? that gas what supports combu- man I'm not in the mood for medickey words. here, toke some cracka-ine instead!! yep, from the Vapor Bomb! - here'a light-:boom:
    AAAAAARGH!!! THE VAPOR BOMB ASPLODE!!!111111 BUD YOU ON FIRE!!! DON'T BE ON FIRE!!!! ARRRTGH GOTTA CLAW AT MOLTEN PLASTIC!!!!!!!
    ARGHHHHHHHH I HEAR THE PO-PO!!!11111 Quick! to the bathroom!! Crack in the bin, tool down the toilet!!! OR IS ITTHE OTHER WAY ROUND!!??


    wow
    the epicness continues!!
    (regarding your post from before, I mean that it's a wonder you managed to cycle all those kilometers and miles when you weren't "actually" fit to stand... also amazed none had stopped you or summoned an ambulance to intercept you O.O)
    your prose style...
    'The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.'
    oh where do I begin
    'a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.'
    ...which meant he was the driver!!! :help:
    Tim Vic Odin's noble sacrifice may have prevented fiery vehicular death for circa half a dozen people!! :wideyed:
    *oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*
    wow
    that is the anti drug-seeker model of patient-doctor interaction!! :D
    'Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem'
    awww why did you have to stop being good guy greg? you should have offered to clean & change him, like like mama psycho used to :hilarious::rofl::hilarious:
    'oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns....'
    that implies... you freed the phone from the ****-smears... just by unlocking it? man there's an app for everything nowadays :idea:
    'Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?'
    NO
    WAY
    NO YOU DIDN'T
    you did NOT call her
    and tell her everything?
    about the the eth-amphetamine driving?
    and the headbutting contest with the oak?
    even the sh!t??
    and you did NOT take a picture and send it????
     
    Last edited: 03.05.15 at 10:18 AM
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  27. Kittenmommy

    Kittenmommy Owned By Cats

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    That was amazing! :cat:
     
  28. sum dude

    sum dude

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    If you have abdominal pain, particularly epigastric, probably not a good idea to eat a large amount of Arbys, even if the waiting room wait has a long wait time. And if I order an ultrasound of your gallbladder, it's definitely a terrible time to eat an entire Arby's value meal, if you want us to see your gallbladder anyways. (although, eating an entire meal of Arby's + RUQ pain + stones on US is more sensitive than a HIDA scan, apparently).
     
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