Too Black, Too White

[tachy23]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?

For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

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[MsKrispyKreme]

Interesting first post...

Just live your life, and don't put too much stock in the opinions that others have about you.

 

[flaahless]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?

For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

Yo man, try engaging them rather than feeling isolated and posting on sdn. Also, go to the SNMA conference in New Orleans April 8-12, I'll be there! Scream at me.

 

[njbmd]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?
For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

Interesting first post...

Just live your life, and don't put too much stock in the opinions that others have about you.

Yo man, try engaging them rather than feeling isolated and posting on sdn. Also, go to the SNMA conference in New Orleans April 8-12, I'll be there! Scream at me.

Good advice from above. I can also tell you that just getting into medical school is not insurance that you will become a physician. Every black medical student that graduates from medical school had to do the same work and master the same things as any other ethnic group. We don't pass out seats in medical school because of color. We offer admission to people that have the ability to graduate and go on to become good physicians.

Since there are more applicants that seats available, there will always be someone who wants to put down others because of some perceived slight. As others have said, live your life to your satisfaction. Most people when they get to know you, understand your differences. Let them get to know you and don't be afraid to not take yourself too seriously.

Finally, no one ever complains about the legacy applicants (mom, dad, granddad were alums) who get into schools with very low uGPAs and MCAT scores. They always look at black and brown applicants but never speak about most legacies because they are white. Ignore them and move on. You know what you accomplished to get where you are today and where you go in the future is up to you. Aim high and don't look back especially when you encounter negativity.

 

[alphaholic06]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?

For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

I think you need to tell them they need to read The Miseducation of The Negro before they try to pass it on to someone else. They obviously have no clue what the book is about.

"When you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder. He will find his 'proper place' and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door. He will go without being told. In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary." The Miseducation of The Negro

 

[tachy23]

Yo man, try engaging them rather than feeling isolated and posting on sdn. Also, go to the SNMA conference in New Orleans April 8-12, I'll be there! Scream at me.

I tried speaking to them about it. But the more I said, the more they disagreed. Then I realized, just like many of you have said, why the heck am I trying to explain myself to anyone?? So nowadays I try to say as little as possible to avoid being misunderstood. I greatly appreciate the responses so far.

 

[tachy23]

-

 

[Black Surgeon]

Yo man, try engaging them rather than feeling isolated and posting on sdn.

Your problem isn't as much external as it is internal. I was the only black member and president of an all white fraternity, while also being president of a predominantly African American non-profit organization in the greater D.C area. I enjoyed every minute of both experiences and did it all without changing my lingo or putting on a pair baggy jeans while maneuvering dealings between the two spheres. Comfort with yourself and an unwillingness to jeopardize or comprise individuality to fit into a racial norm is the key. The self-confidence you exude will get others to follow.

The problem with many is that we all so often allow ‘race' to take on a physical meaning. Pardon me if I'm wrong, but I sense that you still may be very young; understand that self-confidence and self-comfort will enable you to alleviate much of the pressures you feel to fit into the socially constructed spheres of ‘race', and maturity will allow you to lose any desire to.

 

[tachy23]

Your problem isn’t as much external as it is internal. I was the only black member and president of an all white fraternity, while also being president of a predominantly African American non-profit organization in the greater D.C area. I enjoyed every minute of both experiences and did it all without changing my lingo or putting on a pair baggy jeans while maneuvering dealings between the two spheres. Comfort with yourself and an unwillingness to jeopardize or comprise individuality to fit into a racial norm is the key. The self-confidence you exude will get others to follow.

The problem with many is that we all so often allow ‘race’ to take on a physical meaning. Pardon me if I’m wrong, but I sense that you still may be very young; understand that self-confidence and self-comfort will enable you to alleviate much of the pressures you feel to fit into the socially constructed spheres of ‘race’, and maturity will allow you to lose any desire to.

You are exactly right. In fact, now that I have had time to reflect on what many of you have said, I have come to a realization. I guess I'm frustrated because I had my hopes held high that my colleagues would embrace the idea that I am one less member of an ever increasing population of imprisoned/struggling black men. I feel that I broke free of the perpetuating cycle that "plagues" many families and instead of people encouraging me to strive on and continue to accomplish great things, they critcize me for being different and not fitting into a defined category. I also realize that I should not live my life in the hopes that my success will please others. I am certain that I will encounter people who could care less about what I do. I am content with who I am as a person and I will hopefully learn to exhibit my success through my actions instead of trying to force them to accept it.

 

[EtherealEyez]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?

For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

I understand what you're sayin, and I think at lot of blacks (and even non-blks) have that feeling at some point, especially if you pursue higher education. In my opinion, i feel like we as a people have fooled ourselves into thinking that "being black" means we have to fit into some stereotypical role, i.e. how you speak, how we dress, how we act, etc. But i think thats incorrect; its just society has reinforced that, because the things we see as "being black" are whats protrayed in the media. We are disproportionately portrayed negatively and unfortuately thats how people percieve us. (in my opinion, even on a subconscious level, thats been drilled into us too :-( ) In regards to the first bolded statement, I'm sure you didn't mean it the way I'm approaching the statement, but I just wanted to say that, there is no "other side of african americans." Being african american is just like being white, is like being asian, etc. There is VARIETY in all races, and your interests, the way you carry yourself, etc has nothing to do with the color of your skin. If i like rap and you like opera, guess what? at the end of the day, we're both black and nothing and no one can change that.

The second bolded statement, don't ever change who you are to be what someone else thinks you should be. I'm not talking about speech and dialect. I'm from the south and when i'm chillin with my friends, I can slur my speech and not enunciate with the best of 'em lol. But bet, when I hit that interview I spoke with professionalism. I'm just sayin, don't downgrade the way you speak to appease someone else. As long as your not being condescending and speaking with some holier than thou tone(which you said you're not) then your fine.

And lastly, YES for the rest of your life i'm sure you will at some point encounter someone who thinks you aren't good enough, or not qualified, or "filling a quota" no matter how many degrees, awards, accolades, etc you have. But YOU need to remember who YOU are, and that you EARNED whatever position/spot just like the next person. Don't EVER let someone make you feel like you shouldn't be at the level they are. And you don't need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself.

I feel like I just wrote a mini-essay lol sorry yall, i needed to vent a little too lol. Reading stuff on SDN about URMS and this and that can be a lil upsetting. But neways, in conclusion lol, there will be blacks that say your "not black enough" or "not like a normal black person" because they have their own perceptions. Sometimes its jealousy, sometimes its ignorance. You're never gonna please everyone, so as long as you remember your roots and where you came from, and aknowledge that people went through a lot so that we can have this opportunity, do what YOU do.

Sorry for the long post!!!!

 

[CMBdoc]

Read the Miseducation of the Negro and remember that you are in the talented tenth. As long as you are young, black, and successful people of all colors will resent you for not being that incarcerated statistic. Learn to thrive off their jealousy and ignorance and achieve your dreams, it's the best medicine for "haters".

 

[The Poet Sings]

i can't really say much, since i feel like it's all been said. just know that, unfortunately, you're not alone. i wish it was an isolated incident that people say things to you to make you feel this way. i remember being told that i don't act black. i told them i never got the handbook on it, so too bad. this is just how i am, how i was raised. i'm jamaican and what i've noticed is that parents are ok with their kids talking in patois, as long as it's around the right company, like family and close friends. but as soon as you're around other people, your english better be on point. it's funny, my dad has the thickest accent and is always trying to correct my mother on stuff that he pronounces the same way, because it's important for him that we speak english properly. we end up just laughing at him, but i think you get my point (as if i had one haha).
but anyways, i found a link to the entire book that was mentioned, and i figured since i was going to post it, i might as well write a little bit too. good luck dealing with the dummies you'll no doubt encounter! http://historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/misedne.html

 

[dragonfly99]

I probably don't have much constructive to add, being a white female.

However, I think that you should ignore the haters at work. They are obviously insecure and/or just trying to drag you down to their level. Success is the best revenge. Also, ignore the stupid people who think that "unqualified" URM's are filling up med schools. I have been to med school and I know it is not true. Med schools don't let in people unless they are academically capable of graduating. I had to try 2x to get into med school but I didn't blame it on any URM "taking my spot". I can't stand people who whine. There are so many different objective+subjective factors in admissions, you simply cannot blame not getting in on some other particular applicant "taking your spot", whatever that means. Everyone gets disappointed at some point in life - how one reacts to this is a test of character. Those who whine that some URM took their spot in med school/grad school FAIL the character test.

 

[EtherealEyez]

I probably don't have much constructive to add, being a white female.

However, I think that you should ignore the haters at work. They are obviously insecure and/or just trying to drag you down to their level. Success is the best revenge. Also, ignore the stupid people who think that "unqualified" URM's are filling up med schools. I have been to med school and I know it is not true. Med schools don't let in people unless they are academically capable of graduating. I had to try 2x to get into med school but I didn't blame it on any URM "taking my spot". I can't stand people who whine. There are so many different objective+subjective factors in admissions, you simply cannot blame not getting in on some other particular applicant "taking your spot", whatever that means. Everyone gets disappointed at some point in life - how one reacts to this is a test of character. Those who whine that some URM took their spot in med school/grad school FAIL the character test.

That was THE most construtive and uplifting response yet. Thank you for posting that. Its nice to hear the opinions of someone other than what the typical SDNer posts. I KNOW the opinions of those on SDN certainly do not reflect the population, so I'm glad someone made a comment reflecting that. Ya made my day lol.

 

[tachy23]

That was THE most construtive and uplifting response yet. Thank you for posting that. Its nice to hear the opinions of someone other than what the typical SDNer posts. I KNOW the opinions of those on SDN certainly do not reflect the population, so I'm glad someone made a comment reflecting that. Ya made my day lol.

i definitely second that. again i would like to reiterate how helpful you all have been. i anticipate that my future endeavors will in fact be a true test of my strength, but i look forward to facing those challenges and emerging a better, more experienced individual as a result.
the fact is (and im sad to say i JUST recently learned this) but people pick their favorites and sometimes you wont be one of them. no matter how good of a person you think you are, some people just wont like you and thats fine. pick up and move on, dont dwell on the negative.

 

[Black Surgeon]

I found these words by Langston Hughes to be very fitting for the OP and for this thread in general.​

"We younger Negro artists intend to express our individual dark-skinned
selves without fear or shame. If white people are pleased we are glad. If
they are not, it doesn't matter. We know we are beautiful. And ugly too.
The Tom-tom cries and the Tom-tom laughs. If colored people are pleased
we are glad. If they are not, their displeasure doesn't matter either. We
build our temples for tomorrow, strong as we know how, and we stand
on top of the mountain, free within ourselves"

 

[Qaraami]

So, this is my very first post and I wanted it to be about an issue I face everyday of the week. I'm hoping that I am not alone in this and that some of you have some useful advice.


I work in a hospital pharmacy in a small town where many of my african american colleagues have "old-fashioned" ideals. Anyway, I am one of the youngest employees, and the only technician with a college degree. I stand out because of how I talk and the music I sometimes listen to (which can be anything from daddy yankee to the opera angels). the problem is that I am constantly approached by my black colleagues with their concerns that I am too distant from my origins and that I have deep rooted issues with being black. They tell me to avoid getting too close to white colleagues because they have no interest in seeing black people become professionals. One of them even went so far as to tell me that I do not "act like normal black people" which I find totally offensive because I try to represent a different side of African Americans, one that is not as often publicized by the media. Furthermore, I came in to work one day and someone had anonymously placed the book "The Miseducation of The Negro" which I also take offensively.

In no way do i try to be condescending when speaking to my co-workers. I am well aware of our differences and I make adjustments in the way I communicate so as not to have them think I am showing off my education by using fancy words. I mean, isn't part of being a good doctor being able to effectively communicate with people from various backgrounds?

My other concern is not really a big deal, it's just something I've encountered and I'm not even a doctor. Why is it that people assume URMs are less qualified than others? I was talking to a colleague who said that his best friend didn't get into med school because they had to save spots for the black people..wtf? Is that the attitude people will have towards me as a physician? That I was only allowed into medical school because of the need to fill a quota and that I am less qualified than other doctors? I don't plan to spend my life proving to people that I belong, but I am worried about the idea that I will be too white in the eyes of African Americans and too black to be respected by some white colleagues. Anyone else have similar feelings or experiences?

For the record, this is in no way intended to turn into a racist/slanderous post.

I don't want to laugh, but I will. lol

If it makes you feel any better, the black people I know won't let me be African.

It isn't bad enough I was born and raised in Africa, that I am actually black, and that I've only lived here for the past 8 years.

I gave up. I am who I am and you are who you are and that's all that really matters, isn't it?



Much luck to you in becoming more black over time.

lol

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

yah I noticed the cultural ideals of a black African immigrant to America or black Haitian/Caribbean islander is far different then that of ideals of that of a lot of black americans I meet. It is just not the same and this is why my Haitian buddy hates the African American title. He calls himself black but hates the AA title because it groups him with all other black Americans who are what people really think of when they think of AAs. The ideals he sees of the 2 different groups are so different. Like a lot of black americans criticize classical music, arts, etc. whereas a lot of islanders will be very focused on those sorta things.

Oh. Different focuses/ideals? Of all the documentaries I've seen about Africa, Haiti, etc., I've never seen anybody talking about classical music as they perform such daily activities as walking many miles to obtain water from the town's only pump or flee to avoid FGM.

Those different ideals, huh? That must be why the islands & Africa have such extremely high educational attainment rates, an absence of widespread poverty, low crime rates, low HIV rates, non-corrupt governments, etc. That darn classical music.

But wait...those countries DO have problems with education, poverty, HIV, etc.

ALL cultures have those aforementioned problems. It just disgusts me when I see Africans & Black Islanders (who are the ethnic majority in their respective countries) are more bigoted towards Black Americans (who are a minority group in the U.S.) than any redneck that I've ever come across in my life.

You need to check yourself seriously.

 

[alphaholic06]

You misconstrue what I mean. A lot of black Americans here don't come from that kinda poverty where they have the ability to fool around and really value education opportunities that sometimes I've seen other black americans not have here who've not lived in such an environment. A lot of black americans, NOT ALL, but a lot of black americans have this mentality that if you are not into hip hop, rap, talk a certain way, dress a certain way, you are not black enough.

I've seen this before. I'm not saying its all black people who are like this but sometimes its like this.

You should quit while you're behind.

 

[archimedesxx]

You got the idiom wrong. its quit while you are ahead. But if you say so. I do quit trying to reason my points because there are no easy ways to make the point I'm making but I do have several black friends who do feel this way like other blacks look down at them as not being in sync with how they should be behaving by judging them for the way they talk being different, the fact that they don't like certain kinds of music, certain kinds of sports, don't dress a certain way, etc.

Obviously it isn't you I'm referring to otherwise you'd not be on this premed board. But i've met people like this in real life.

I've met blacks who judge others of their own kind because they choose a non black to marry or because they don't listen to the quote in quote "black" music, or show interest in sports like football and basketball, etc. It does exist and if you deny it then you are ignorant, oblivious, or in denial.

But I'm out since you don't get it.

Gugudoc is absolutely right and we shouldn't be oblivious of the realities on the ground. I have met a lot of 'real' ( 3rd or 4th) generation African American who don't consider first generation African Americans as actual African Americans. I don't know if you get my drift. It is true. I had one fool tell me that neo-African Americans were taking all the affirmative action spots reserved for African-Americans. I agree with that 'point' but I was shell-shocked because all my life I have made sure that I wasn't going to be labelled an affirmative action case. To rely on say affirmation action without working hard is totally absurd. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that every African-American depends on affirmation to make it in America. I am making an observation living in a predominantly black community in New York City.

About ideals, immigrant Africans generally emphasize education above everything else just like most Asian families. There are more African kids in college than African-Americans in college relative to their population. Then again that may not be a good point because its based on what I have seen so far. My guess is as good as yours. I don't think we love classical music.lol. But I have to say that living amongst African-Americans I highly appreciate black culture..

Now can we all be friend. First or forth generation, we are all African- Americans. Our people need us to work hard, go to medical and come serve the community. We need more minorities getting up there to serve as a beacon of hope to kids who feel they have no chance. We got work to do. To dismiss gugudoc's ( I'm assuming she's not black. what are you doing on an URM forum gugu?) points is not the best. Most of what she said is right. We gotta fix this.

 

[alphaholic06]

You got the idiom wrong. its quit while you are ahead. But if you say so. I do quit trying to reason my points because there are no easy ways to make the point I'm making but I do have several black friends who do feel this way like other blacks look down at them as not being in sync with how they should be behaving by judging them for the way they talk being different, the fact that they don't like certain kinds of music, certain kinds of sports, don't dress a certain way, etc.

Obviously it isn't you I'm referring to otherwise you'd not be on this premed board. But i've met people like this in real life.

I've met blacks who judge others of their own kind because they choose a non black to marry or because they don't listen to the quote in quote "black" music, or show interest in sports like football and basketball, etc. It does exist and if you deny it then you are ignorant, oblivious, or in denial.

But I'm out since you don't get it.

I know what the idiom is, but it is you who fail to get sarcasm. One other piece of advice that may help you out in the future, when you say something that others may misconstrue as insensitive don't try to defend your statement by saying you have black friends( or several). Having black friends doesn't preclude you from being insensitive.

 

[glypha1104]

i'm jamaican and what i've noticed is that parents are ok with their kids talking in patois, as long as it's around the right company, like family and close friends. but as soon as you're around other people, your english better be on point. it's funny, my dad has the thickest accent and is always trying to correct my mother on stuff that he pronounces the same way...

As the great Oliver Samuels said, "stop the damn twang"

 

[The Poet Sings]

As the great Oliver Samuels said, "stop the damn twang"

"yuh travel regula?" "very regula!" man i love me some oliver.

 

[njbmd]

i can't really say much, since i feel like it's all been said. just know that, unfortunately, you're not alone. i wish it was an isolated incident that people say things to you to make you feel this way. i remember being told that i don't act black. i told them i never got the handbook on it, so too bad. this is just how i am, how i was raised. i'm jamaican and what i've noticed is that parents are ok with their kids talking in patois, as long as it's around the right company, like family and close friends. but as soon as you're around other people, your english better be on point. it's funny, my dad has the thickest accent and is always trying to correct my mother on stuff that he pronounces the same way, because it's important for him that we speak english properly. we end up just laughing at him, but i think you get my point (as if i had one haha).
but anyways, i found a link to the entire book that was mentioned, and i figured since i was going to post it, i might as well write a little bit too. good luck dealing with the dummies you'll no doubt encounter! http://historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/misedne.html

My Pop was from Jamaica and my Mum from the UK. It's funny that I had the same experience growing up as you point out in the above post. The great thing is that my father's patients LOVED his accent. Some of his office staff would tease him but his patients (95% of whom were white) loved him and how he took care of them (he was an internist).

I was born her and return to the "old sod" as much as I can but I would kill to hear or have my father's accent. He died before I was accepted into medical school but would have loved that I followed in his footsteps. He always said that I would become a physician even as I toiled away on getting my Ph.D in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology.

My rents did tolerate anything less than excellent scholarship at every level of our education. They were very strict in terms of taking advantage of every educational opportunity out there. To this end, my sister is an engineer (now VP for IT for a major bank) and I am a physician-scientist. I have a slight british accent (hung around with Mummy too much) but we HAD to speak properly on every occasion.

 

[glypha1104]

"yuh travel regula?" "very regula!" man i love me some oliver.

Have you seen "Ras noah".

 

[motorcycleguy]

"yuh travel regula?" "very regula!" man i love me some oliver.

I have that on DVD. I had no idea other people watched those sketches.

 

[glypha1104]

I have that on DVD. I had no idea other people watched those sketches.

What type of jamaican or child of a jamaican(ME) would you be if you did not like Oliver.

 

[motorcycleguy]

What type of jamaican or child of a jamaican(ME) would you be if you did not like Oliver.

Thing is, I'm not even Jamaican

 

[glypha1104]

Thing is, I'm not even Jamaican

It doesn't matter, the guy is hilarious. I assumed you were because many of my American friends get a look of pure and utter cluelessness anytime they hear a Jamaican accent.

 

[The Poet Sings]

It doesn't matter, the guy is hilarious. I assumed you were because many of American friends get a look of pure and utter cluelessness anytime they hear a Jamaican accent.

seriously, same here. i end up translating what my parents say to my friends haha.

Thing is, I'm not even Jamaican

that makes you even more amazing! heh you live in boca

My Pop was from Jamaica and my Mum from the UK. It's funny that I had the same experience growing up as you point out in the above post. The great thing is that my father's patients LOVED his accent. Some of his office staff would tease him but his patients (95% of whom were white) loved him and how he took care of them (he was an internist).
...
I have a slight british accent (hung around with Mummy too much) but we HAD to speak properly on every occasion.

i feel like part of it is that patois may be seen as a product of slavery and colonialism, so it's low class. and that is so unfortunate for people to be ashamed of their culture. british accents are cute, though. i have an american accent (not cute) and i avoid talking in patois because i grew up in america and patois was even more discouraged, so now they laugh at my accent . yup, the damn twang is how it sounds haha.

 

[Frosted Pumpkin]

Well with my Native American heritage, I'm too dark to be a white supremacist and I'm too white to hold potluck dinners and pow-wows.

So yeah, I see where you're coming from. If blacks don't like you hanging out with whites, I'd say screw them.

 

[Hijabistism89]

You got the idiom wrong. its quit while you are ahead. But if you say so. I do quit trying to reason my points because there are no easy ways to make the point I'm making but I do have several black friends who do feel this way like other blacks look down at them as not being in sync with how they should be behaving by judging them for the way they talk being different, the fact that they don't like certain kinds of music, certain kinds of sports, don't dress a certain way, etc.

Obviously it isn't you I'm referring to otherwise you'd not be on this premed board. But i've met people like this in real life.

I've met blacks who judge others of their own kind because they choose a non black to marry or because they don't listen to the quote in quote "black" music, or show interest in sports like football and basketball, etc. It does exist and if you deny it then you are ignorant, oblivious, or in denial.

But I'm out since you don't get it.

I kinda agree with you on this issue. I am black (east african). I was born in Africa, but lived Europe since I was 4 yrs. After I moved over here during my high school years. although I went to a predominantly black school, I always felt like an outsider. I mainly attributed this to my "foreignness", and being not"cultured" enough.

And I think the reason why many of the "foreign-born" Africans has that attitude of "striving" for academic success, is mainly that for most of them M.D/Ph.D=survival. and no university/grad school= our parents killing us and eating for us for dinner. No, but on a more serious note, it's just as you guys said before. Coming from poverty and war-torn countries, you do wanna take advantage of all these academical resources to insure a better future.

And just to bug ya, I hate classical music, too But kinda helps having it the background when I am studying sometimes.

Oh and by the way are you Guju/ "Gujrati"?. I have so many Gujarati friends, that I think by now I am officially an honorary member of the caste lol