Transferring after intern year

[lemonlove]

Hi,
I'm currently an intern at a Psychiatry program and am doing fine in the program. I don't have any complaints about the program. My husband (who is the main breadwinner for us) has a job that requires him to be in a different state and we have done the long distance thing for one year now, with hopes that he would be able to get to move here after I had matched, year later , but it does not look like that is a possibility anymore. I am also much older than my co-residents and the time for me to have kids is approaching fast.

I've been very vague about my interest to transfer to my PD, just to test it out and he does not seem very supportive of the idea at all and tries to push me to transfer for a child fellowship (which would mean waiting 2 years) and fast track in that. This something I'm not even interested in to begin with. I think this has to do with the fact that they have had a few people transfer over the years and are currently going through some cutbacks in the program as well.

I really don't want to jeopardize my position in anyway, but at the same time, I don't want to put a strain on my marriage. This has been weighing very heavily on my mind. I was wondering if someone who has been in a similar position can shed some light or give me some advice?

I really enjoy Psychiatry but the possibility of not being allowed to transfer to another psychiatry program, has even made me consider just switching specialties to (FM or Preventive medicine) just so I can be with my husband and in-laws.

Is this type of attitude typical to begin with,? I mean no PD would want a resident who's unhappy or miserable in their program. Let's say if I find a spot (after the match) and bring it up to my PD, surely, they wouldn't just stop me from going would they?

Thanks for any feedback.

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[Psychotic]

So is there a program in the city where your hubby works? If yes, it begs the question of why you didn't rank that program #1...

 

[lemonlove]

So is there a program in the city where your hubby works? If yes, it begs the question of why you didn't rank that program #1...

I did rank based on geographic preference, but with the match, you never know where you'll end up. There are a few programs in the vicinity.

 

[J ROD]

It will be hard to transfer to ANY program without a good recommendation from your current PD.

 

[lemonlove]

My PD has said wonderful things about me and gets along great with me because I understand him well. However, I don't think he'll be thrilled about letting me go.

 

[splik]

it is actually quite late in the year to be thinking about this now. most of the PGY-2 spots have filled already. is there even a spot near your husband for you to move into (psych or PM?). you cannot transfer into family medicine, it's too late, you would have had to resign your position and apply for the match for a PGY-1 FM residency.

sorry but most programs have a majority of residents who are miserable at one point or another and for the most part they could care less. hate to break it to you, but your hospital is not interested in whether you are happy or not (and miserable residents are more subservient so all the better). you actually don't need a glowing letter of recommendation - I have read many letters from PDs of transferring residents and most of them are not glowing. They just need to say you have met all the requirements for the PGY-1 year and they have no concerns. you will need strong letters of recommendation from others though. this is very late in the cycle to be thniking about this. have you even reched out to the relevant progras to inquire whether they have openings and are interested?

Some people do apply at a later stage,having resigned after intern year, but you should only do this if you are in a state and you husband in a state where you can get a full licence to practice medicine and there is a program where you have a chance of getting a PGY-2 spot or matching into a PGY-1 residency.

 

[psychattending]

When did you first approach your PD? If you approached him/her very early (e.g. July) or very late (e.g. now), then the PD might not be too receptive. The best time for interns is probably in the Oct-Nov timeframe -- time enough to have enough experience to confirm that you needed to transfer and enough time for the program to start looking for your replacement (and you to find a PGY2 slot). If that is what you did (Oct-Nov), then the PD is being a jerk and putting his workload ahead of your training needs. You could read your contract and see by when you have to give notice in order to leave but you are running a big risk in that your PD might not be too supportive in writing the required letter. The only other option I can think of is to approach your local DIO for help. This could get somebody in your corner but could also inflame things.

 

[lemonlove]

When did you first approach your PD? If you approached him/her very early (e.g. July) or very late (e.g. now), then the PD might not be too receptive. The best time for interns is probably in the Oct-Nov timeframe -- time enough to have enough experience to confirm that you needed to transfer and enough time for the program to start looking for your replacement (and you to find a PGY2 slot). If that is what you did (Oct-Nov), then the PD is being a jerk and putting his workload ahead of your training needs. You could read your contract and see by when you have to give notice in order to leave but you are running a big risk in that your PD might not be too supportive in writing the required letter. The only other option I can think of is to approach your local DIO for help. This could get somebody in your corner but could also inflame things.

I approached him in the beginning of January. The reason for this was the fact that my husbands employment was recent news and I did not want to start looking unless I had a real chance somewhere else (i.e. something opened up). My employment contract states I have to give a 90 day notice before leaving. I know that there are people who would be in a position to take my spot. What is DIO, forgive my ignorance?

 

[lemonlove]

it is actually quite late in the year to be thinking about this now. most of the PGY-2 spots have filled already. is there even a spot near your husband for you to move into (psych or PM?). you cannot transfer into family medicine, it's too late, you would have had to resign your position and apply for the match for a PGY-1 FM residency.

sorry but most programs have a majority of residents who are miserable at one point or another and for the most part they could care less. hate to break it to you, but your hospital is not interested in whether you are happy or not (and miserable residents are more subservient so all the better). you actually don't need a glowing letter of recommendation - I have read many letters from PDs of transferring residents and most of them are not glowing. They just need to say you have met all the requirements for the PGY-1 year and they have no concerns. you will need strong letters of recommendation from others though. this is very late in the cycle to be thniking about this. have you even reched out to the relevant progras to inquire whether they have openings and are interested?

Some people do apply at a later stage,having resigned after intern year, but you should only do this if you are in a state and you husband in a state where you can get a full licence to practice medicine and there is a program where you have a chance of getting a PGY-2 spot or matching into a PGY-1 residency.

I've been checking and there is no spot at this time, but I'm wondering after the match or later on in the year if something opens up between now and hopefully April, I'd find out about it.

I'm just not understanding why is it that I'm late in the game to be asking this. Most second year spots are outside of the match and happen because someone leaves the program for a variety of reasons (from my limited understanding). I would think that a majority of them would pop up after the match. Thanks

 

[kagman]

DIO - Designated institution official .

The DIO of an institute is responsible for the education and educational administration of all programs at institutional level .


Psychiatry Applicant 2016.

 

[psychattending]

I've been checking and there is no spot at this time, but I'm wondering after the match or later on in the year if something opens up between now and hopefully April, I'd find out about it.

I'm just not understanding why is it that I'm late in the game to be asking this. Most second year spots are outside of the match and happen because someone leaves the program for a variety of reasons (from my limited understanding). I would think that a majority of them would pop up after the match. Thanks

January is late for a program to start looking to find a reasonable replacement for you. In my program the rule is that a resident needs to let me know by Dec 1 that he/she is contemplating leaving. This then gives me time to interview people and adjust my Match quota if I need to do so (take a new PGY1 to replace the leaving resident). Most good applicants for a PGY2 slot are out visiting programs the same time the medical students are out looking for their program.

 

[lemonlove]

January is late for a program to start looking to find a reasonable replacement for you. In my program the rule is that a resident needs to let me know by Dec 1 that he/she is contemplating leaving. This then gives me time to interview people and adjust my Match quota if I need to do so (take a new PGY1 to replace the leaving resident). Most good applicants for a PGY2 slot are out visiting programs the same time the medical students are out looking for their program.

See all of this stuff with my husband and his work not being able to move is a recent development. I would never have known about December 1st deadline (this was something that was never explicitly stated or written anywhere by the PD or GME). All I see in my contract is that I have to give 90 days notice if I'm leaving them (so they can get a replacement). So if I leave on June 30th, I need to let them know by March 30th so they can get someone else. I know that my institution is very big and they have a lot of good people they could take to replace me if need be (even with a short notice)

I have been keeping a look out for potential PGY2 openings in the same geographical area as my husband but have not been successful as yet.

These circumstances were not foreseen and I am at an age where I need to start working towards stability and starting a family.

 

[twright]

Depending on your program your PD may be able to bring in a resident from another program at the same institution (eg a medicine resident who wants to quit) but your notifying the PD this late does put them in a bind because they can't recruit through the match (if they are one of the few programs that recruits new PGY2's through the match). If your program is a high quality program then your notifying them this late will definitely not earn you any friends because they will probably end up having to scrape the bottom of the barrel for a replacement. You don't need a glowing letter from your PD but you do need a letter from your PD attesting that you are in good standing at your program. As you say, you are prioritizing your family and you just need to do what you have to do. It's certainly not unethical to do so. But you are definitely make a choice.


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[TexasPhysician]

I've been checking and there is no spot at this time, but I'm wondering after the match or later on in the year if something opens up between now and hopefully April, I'd find out about it.

I'm just not understanding why is it that I'm late in the game to be asking this. Most second year spots are outside of the match and happen because someone leaves the program for a variety of reasons (from my limited understanding). I would think that a majority of them would pop up after the match. Thanks

You are late. My old program would interview for any PGY-2 slots simultaneous with the intern class. That is over. Most programs know if they will have room or at least may have an opening the year prior.

Instead of expected openings or new program growth, you are now looking for people leaving abruptly which is quite rare.

Your current program would have little chance of filling your vacated spot with anyone of quality. They won't want you to go either.

I wish you the best, but you have a tough road.

 

[lemonlove]

You are late. My old program would interview for any PGY-2 slots simultaneous with the intern class. That is over. Most programs know if they will have room or at least may have an opening the year prior.

Instead of expected openings or new program growth, you are now looking for people leaving abruptly which is quite rare.

Your current program would have little chance of filling your vacated spot with anyone of quality. They won't want you to go either.

I wish you the best, but you have a tough road.

I tried checking the APA website which is rarely updated and a majority of postings were after the match. There are always issues that come up for people like health issues, failing step 3, change of profession, they may be rare but I was under the impression that it's not uncommon for pgy2 spots to become available. My program is solid and I know of a few decent folks who ho could easily come on board. Not trying to argue with you, but just saying this whole transfer after intern year is not as impossible or convoluted as some of you try to frame it as

 

[TexasPhysician]

There are always issues that come up for people like health issues, failing step 3, change of profession, they may be rare but I was under the impression that it's not uncommon for pgy2 spots to become available.

It is certainly not impossible, but you admit above that you are looking for people developing something serious like cancer and leaving medicine altogether. Health issues requiring a known year off and leaving medicine are not common.

Those transferring are generally already known by programs. Many programs have planned openings at pgy-2 or are expanding to take an additional pgy-2. Failing step 3 is not a good reason to fire someone. Firing someone or not renewing a contract takes advanced planning and sometimes an appeal process.

I do wish you the best. Consider calling coordinators every 1-2 months to check on an opening.

 

[twright]

Agree. Moreover you're not simply looking to get out of your program. You have a specific geographical destination in mind. So it won't be enough that a spot opens up somewhere, it has to be a specific somewhere. Not impossible, just difficult.

 

[lemonlove]

I have been calling people for the past few weeks and have not had much luck in finding a PGY2 spot.

I know this is a difficulty undertaking, but I was wondering what some people think about just resigning after completing intern year and applying through the match next year? I would give my program ample notice (like now) to get a PGY-2 to fill my spot (I know for a fact that there is a family medicine resident who is looking to switch).

I wish this process was a little more clear cut and transparent. I also wish that one could be transparent and honest with one's program director without fear of retaliation. Had I known what I know today back in October, I still would have hesitated being upfront with my program director for fear that he would fire me on the spot.

 

[lemonlove]

I am feeling as if I don't find anything by end of March, I will just give my program my 3 month notice (so that they can find someone, and my looking at some of the candidates we have had for PGY-1, that should be no issue) and start planning for the match next year in September and not sign my contract for 2nd year. I am also going to get letters from my program. I have had no problems here and would love to stay if only my husband did not have his job restrictions. It's very difficult doing a long distance relationship with a 3 hour time change. Again, I'm sad to be leaving my co-interns who have become very good friends with but I also have other considerations that involve starting a family.

Any tips on what I should do during my time off? I plan on sitting for step 3 and doing some volunteering, but anything more useful you would suggest?

 

[TexasPhysician]

The biggest obstacle is likely getting a good LOR from your current PD. You can get as many other letters as you want, but none will matter if your PD letter is not good.

Step 3 is a good idea. Consider contacting your top destinations to see if you can volunteer or do research there.

While not fun, it is possible for a family to live on a resident's salary. Why not have your husband move to you? If he is unemployed for awhile, a typical family can still make it work. My wife quit working at kid 1, and while very different for us financially and socially for her, it worked out well in the end.

 

[lemonlove]

I did find a possible position near where my husband works, it is slightly competitive but that's not what I am worried about, it's about how to approach my PD with this information. Especially at this stage of the game. I need the LOR and the letter of good standing from my PD, but I don't know how to put it to him. I was thinking about writing him an e-mail since he is currently out of town. I just wish I could have some semi-definitive indication from the program I am interested in before taking such a potentially scary move as to completely ruining my career. There is a certain amount of risk involved, I'm just wondering if any of you guys have tips as to how to mitigate it as much as possible.

I wish my husband could move, because I have no problems with my program whatsoever, and would be ecstatic if it were where my husband was. It's not just financially difficult for us it's going to be a huge toll on our relationship if we are apart for 3 more years.

 

[WalterDonnie]

An email? That's like breaking up with a SO over a text. I'd say you have to do it in person, and you better work up some damn tears. You have to have a monologue crafted, and perfected, that will move his heart and make him want to watch the notebook when he gets home.

-msiv. But for real doe

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I did find a possible position near where my husband works, it is slightly competitive but that's not what I am worried about, it's about how to approach my PD with this information. Especially at this stage of the game. I need the LOR and the letter of good standing from my PD, but I don't know how to put it to him. I was thinking about writing him an e-mail since he is currently out of town. I just wish I could have some semi-definitive indication from the program I am interested in before taking such a potentially scary move as to completely ruining my career. There is a certain amount of risk involved, I'm just wondering if any of you guys have tips as to how to mitigate it as much as possible.

I wish my husband could move, because I have no problems with my program whatsoever, and would be ecstatic if it were where my husband was. It's not just financially difficult for us it's going to be a huge toll on our relationship if we are apart for 3 more years.

Most of us are not so vindictive as to hold it against a resident who wants to transfer for this very legitimate reason. If I had a resident coming to me at this point in time, I'd probably be disappointed that they hadn't approached me earlier, but would still so what I could to make this possible. All in all, though, the timeline you report above is reasonable.

It might be good to email now and ask to set up a time to talk next week when he gets back (I presume from AADPRT). OTOH, if your potential new PD is also at AADPRT, it would be an opportunity for him to advocate for you face to face with another program. (I did so briefly this week myself for a resident who would like to arrange something for similar reasons. Nothing magical, but it helps to put faces to the emails that will need to be exchanged in coming weeks, and add a cordial human touch.)

 

[twright]

I did find a possible position near where my husband works, it is slightly competitive but that's not what I am worried about, it's about how to approach my PD with this information. Especially at this stage of the game. I need the LOR and the letter of good standing from my PD, but I don't know how to put it to him. I was thinking about writing him an e-mail since he is currently out of town. I just wish I could have some semi-definitive indication from the program I am interested in before taking such a potentially scary move as to completely ruining my career. There is a certain amount of risk involved, I'm just wondering if any of you guys have tips as to how to mitigate it as much as possible.

I wish my husband could move, because I have no problems with my program whatsoever, and would be ecstatic if it were where my husband was. It's not just financially difficult for us it's going to be a huge toll on our relationship if we are apart for 3 more years.

Have a chat in person with your PD. Do not email.

There is no way to minimize the risk. The outside program will not give you a good look until they get a word from your PD, and the only way they get word from your PD is if you make your hopes known, and when you make your hopes known then the PD -- whether he receives your information with goodwill or not -- has to start looking for your replacement, for the good of his own program. He cannot keep your spot open in case your transfer application fails. So your best bet to minimize the risk is to communicate honestly and plainly and get your PD to understand your perspective, and that will maximize your chance at getting a good letter. But your PD is still going to have to look for a replacement immediately.

Stated differently, if you were a monkey swinging from one branch to the next, there is **** no way **** to grab a hold of the next branch without letting go of the current branch.

 

[lemonlove]

I cannot meet him in person as he is not in the same physical location as where I am doing my rotation this month as well (he is at a satellite location at one of his offices this month) and I am at the home campus. I would just have to talk to him over the phone at best. I am nervous about him getting angry and just firing me on the spot without giving me credit for 9 months.

 

[splik]

well the longer you delay the more pissed off he is going to be (and rightly so) because it will become harder to find someone to fill your position. The fact is, if you wish to even apply to this other position, you need to relinquish your current residency position. (Though you should certainly submit your application materials to see if they're interested in the first instance). Your PD can't fire you for wanting to switch programs (and I've never heard of getting 9 months worth of credit - you either need the year or it's moot). You would had to have done something pretty egregious (like had sex with a patient, killed someone) to get fired, or have a pattern of escalating concerns and disciplinary action and ending up on academic probation with failure to remediate. You clearly have a very low opinion of your PD.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

... I've never heard of getting 9 months worth of credit - you either need the year or it's moot...

Correct--ABPN does not acknowledge partial years.

 

[downwithDTB]

You clearly have a very low opinion of your PD.

Or the person is understandably fearful due to the authoritarian infrastructure of medical training that makes it so difficult for trainees to have real issues addressed. I recently overhead a sr resident telling Jr residents to lie on acgme surveys if needed to avoid probation (which would hurt the residents).

Anyone who thinks that power infrastructures like the NCAA, ACGME and grad school don't lead to abuse and subsequent fear of even the benevolent leaders... is nuts. Just the fact that this person has the power to deny op's request and give them a bad rec s/p asking to transfer is insane.

And as far as the PD goes, part having a management job is replacing employees who leave unexpectedly (or get sick/pregnant/move/ect). Any other manager in any other industry deals with this non-stop and just the idea that a PD could get angry in this situation is ptobably what drives the OPs fear. I sympathize entirely.

 

[twright]

I cannot meet him in person as he is not in the same physical location as where I am doing my rotation this month as well (he is at a satellite location at one of his offices this month) and I am at the home campus. I would just have to talk to him over the phone at best. I am nervous about him getting angry and just firing me on the spot without giving me credit for 9 months.

As has been mentioned previously, it is really hard to fire a resident. So you should at least take comfort in that fact.

Any chance that you could ask him to arrange to meet with you late in the afternoon or early evening after work? You don't need to give him a preview, but just to say that you had some things to discuss with him and you would prefer not to wait until the end of the month. He is a PD so that shouldn't be an unreasonable request (even if you have to ask him to meet you at, say, 6pm). If he says no, then that's that, hen you meet with him next month when you are able (and if he gets mad at you, then you can gently remind him that you had requested an earlier meeting).

 

[twright]

The fact is, if you wish to even apply to this other position, you need to relinquish your current residency position. (Though you should certainly submit your application materials to see if they're interested in the first instance).

AFAIK you don't actually have to _relinquish_ your position in order to apply to other positions. However, you do need to notify your PD in a timely fashion (so that you can get a letter of good standing), which means that he will (appropriately) not renew your contract for next year because he will be looking for your replacement.

 

[TexasPhysician]

AFAIK you don't actually have to _relinquish_ your position in order to apply to other positions. However, you do need to notify your PD in a timely fashion (so that you can get a letter of good standing), which means that he will (appropriately) not renew your contract for next year because he will be looking for your replacement.

I'm not quite sure I understand what you are saying.

You are correct in that you need a letter from your PD for other programs to consider you. Once you ask for the letter, the PD will start looking to fill your spot elsewhere. At minimum your old spot is like an exploding bomb. Once someone else is found, you are out of luck. That's about as close to relinquishing a spot as you can get.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I'm not quite sure I understand what you are saying.

You are correct in that you need a letter from your PD for other programs to consider you. Once you ask for the letter, the PD will start looking to fill your spot elsewhere. At minimum your old spot is like an exploding bomb. Once someone else is found, you are out of luck. That's about as close to relinquishing a spot as you can get.

I disagree--I have a potential transfer (again, for good reasons) that may or may not happen. I'm still pursuing it until the resident tells me Yea or Nay. If her transfer doesn't go through on the other end--whether her decision or the program's--I'm not going to dump her. (She'll just be stuck with me for another year! )

I'm really saddened by the paranoia that seems to rule advice given on this board pertaining to PD-resident interaction.
We're on your side, folks!

 

[TexasPhysician]

I disagree--I have a potential transfer (again, for good reasons) that may or may not happen. I'm still pursuing it until the resident tells me Yea or Nay. If her transfer doesn't go through on the other end--whether her decision or the program's--I'm not going to dump her. (She'll just be stuck with me for another year! )

I'm really saddened by the paranoia that seems to rule advice given on this board pertaining to PD-resident interaction.
We're on your side, folks!

We or you? I think that just like any field, there are good PD's and bad PD's. Every field has this problem except maybe Angels.

I had a great PD and understand where you are coming from. I also have close friends that struggled with PD's. 1 had monthly lectures from his PD about how to lie on time-sheets due to multiple monthly infractions.

 

[WalterDonnie]

.

 

[twright]

I'm not quite sure I understand what you are saying.

You are correct in that you need a letter from your PD for other programs to consider you. Once you ask for the letter, the PD will start looking to fill your spot elsewhere. At minimum your old spot is like an exploding bomb. Once someone else is found, you are out of luck. That's about as close to relinquishing a spot as you can get.

What OPD said.

 

[lemonlove]

I had some time to re-evaluate the situation and the recent match gave me some perspective. I am not a competitive applicant for the place that is near where my husband has his job. I would never have been able to get an interview there had I applied through the match (based on my academic merit).

I also saw the match for my own program and I was surprised as to how many US AMG's matched here (albeit they had some red flags and a good proportion were from the local schools) considering how I thought they would be able to match elsewhere. It definitely reminded me that I am lucky to be in a program in a decent standing.

Even though more time apart from my husband is going to be damaging to our relationship, I definitely know that bringing this up with my PD will make him unhappy and I know that the regime is quite strict (my chair is a huge micro-manager) that they would not fully support me in this endeavor. In fact, I am quite certain, considering how popular psychiatry has been, they may even give my position to someone else and leave me high and dry without anything. I know second year is going to suck here but I'm tempted to just suck it up at this point.

The risk is definitely real and I don't think I have a realistic shot of getting a spot where my husband is without completely risking my chance of being board eligible/completing a residency.

 

[twright]

I had some time to re-evaluate the situation and the recent match gave me some perspective. I am not a competitive applicant for the place that is near where my husband has his job. I would never have been able to get an interview there had I applied through the match (based on my academic merit).

I also saw the match for my own program and I was surprised as to how many US AMG's matched here (albeit they had some red flags and a good proportion were from the local schools) considering how I thought they would be able to match elsewhere. It definitely reminded me that I am lucky to be in a program in a decent standing.

Even though more time apart from my husband is going to be damaging to our relationship, I definitely know that bringing this up with my PD will make him unhappy and I know that the regime is quite strict (my chair is a huge micro-manager) that they would not fully support me in this endeavor. In fact, I am quite certain, considering how popular psychiatry has been, they may even give my position to someone else and leave me high and dry without anything. I know second year is going to suck here but I'm tempted to just suck it up at this point.

The risk is definitely real and I don't think I have a realistic shot of getting a spot where my husband is without completely risking my chance of being board eligible/completing a residency.

I'm really sorry to read this. You are in a really difficult position.

In my experience, second year of residency was even harder than intern year (and I did my internship at a program with a really tough medicine and neurology component).

I don't see your decision as you privileging your career over your marriage -- because if you lost your job and couldn't find another residency program, that would come with its own set of strains. You are making the best decision you can make given the circumstances so that bodes well for you and your husband and I wish you the best.

 

[eli20]

I was curious about this when I realized I was going to be like 2000 miles from where I thought. Sorry to hear this... it seems like transferring is purposefully set up to be near impossible without jeopardizing your career. It sucks that someone who is supposedly an adult has so little control over their life because they're in medicine. Personally I'm planning on fast tracking into child so I guess I'll just grin and bear it for 3 years, but if I was talking to 21 year old me I'd tell myself this entire thing is a racket and to get out while I could. Now I owe too much money to potentially end up with nothing. So congrats medicine, you've created another miserable doctor.

 

[flower power mike]

I was curious about this when I realized I was going to be like 2000 miles from where I thought. Sorry to hear this... it seems like transferring is purposefully set up to be near impossible without jeopardizing your career. It sucks that someone who is supposedly an adult has so little control over their life because they're in medicine. Personally I'm planning on fast tracking into child so I guess I'll just grin and bear it for 3 years, but if I was talking to 21 year old me I'd tell myself this entire thing is a racket and to get out while I could. Now I owe too much money to potentially end up with nothing. So congrats medicine, you've created another miserable doctor.

Yeah, you go in thinking "That won't happen to ME", but then it does.

 

[eli20]

Yeah, you go in thinking "That won't happen to ME", but then it does.

I can't even be around classmates for match celebrations and stuff because I find it exhausting to pretend to be as excited as everyone else.

 

[MacDonaldTriad]

A very large portion of displaced residents end up building support systems, hobbies, and real connections to where they train. After 4 years, most decide to not go home. This can work out, but if you do your best to not see the advantages a city has, you can remain unhappy. A nice apartment, a romantic relationship, and fairly soon, home isn't so important. Humans adapt reliable well with time, even when they try not to. Good luck.

 

[eli20]

If not, it's only 1100 days.

 

[MacDonaldTriad]

If not, it's only 1100 days.

Not exactly radical acceptance, but it is a start.

 

[eli20]

Not exactly radical acceptance, but it is a start.

If I had anyone to even talk to about it I'd probably get over it more quickly. But my friends are all excited about their matches and/or going to be within an hour of each other so being around them involves long discussions about things they're going to do next year. And my family is already sad enough about me moving without me being depressed about it. That's why I said pretending to be excited is exhausting.

I'm not good at radical acceptance.

I am good at bearing something I hate as long as it has an end date. I did make it through surgery after all.

 

[DuskPhilosophy]

If I had anyone to even talk to about it I'd probably get over it more quickly. But my friends are all excited about their matches and/or going to be within an hour of each other so being around them involves long discussions about things they're going to do next year. And my family is already sad enough about me moving without me being depressed about it. That's why I said pretending to be excited is exhausting.

I'm not good at radical acceptance.

I am good at bearing something I hate as long as it has an end date. I did make it through surgery after all.

If you want you can always PM me and vent

 

[eli20]

Sorry for being debbie downer yesterday... I've just been emotional roller coasting and yesterday was a valley.

I am simultaneously excited and terrified about it, but it's silly not to enjoy the next 3 months and go in with an open mind

 

[smalltownpsych]

Sorry for being debbie downer yesterday... I've just been emotional roller coasting and yesterday was a valley.

I am simultaneously excited and terrified about it, but it's silly not to enjoy the next 3 months and go in with an open mind

You can't rush radical acceptance and your statement embracing the supposedly contradictory feelings captures the dialectic nicely, as well.

 

[westlaker]

It's possible that you might start a child fellowship (CAP) after your second year and make up the 3rd year after you are done with the CAP. I have seen this happened at least twice, both for family reasons.

 

[lemonlove]

It's possible that you might start a child fellowship (CAP) after your second year and make up the 3rd year after you are done with the CAP. I have seen this happened at least twice, both for family reasons.

I have heard this as well, but typically the fellowship is at the same program as well.

 

[lemonlove]

We're all getting ready to sign our contracts and get ready for the next year, it's just so painful to think that I'm going to be without my husband for another year. To top it all off, my chief resident, who was like a sister to me, is graduating to go on to fellowship.

I just don't know if I have the courage to move on to next year without the support system in place and 2nd year is very difficult in my program as we do 2 months of Night float and handle the Consult service (which is very busy).