Two burning medical medical questions

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ImportedKamariya

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there are two medical questions i am trying to find the answer to. can anyone tell me a 100% scientifically accurate answer?



1-today i am sick. i collect a bit of my nasal fluid (phlegm) and incubate the virus in a petri dish. i then have a special holding tank in my home which constantly keeps the virus alive. then, when i want to get out of taking an exam, i simply rub that virus on my hand prior to meeting the professor and then shake his or her hand. i also try to smear it onto his or her belongings thereby ensuring he/she gets sick. my question is, is it technically possible to keep the virus alive and then use it in the future like this? i figure i would be immune from the virus since i have antibodies from being sick the first time. there was a kid in my chemistry class a decade back who actually recommended this to me but i have no idea if this plan was scientifically accurate.



2-if i can isolate a single hiv copy and inject it into my body, would my body fight off the virus because there’s only a single copy or would it not know how to fight it and the virus would replicate itself over and over till it takes over my immune system? i have been trying to figure out the answer to this question to no avail. basically any virus that enters the body - how many of that virus do you need for it to pose harm? can it be a single copy or millions or much more than that?

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1. Put 3 mL of phlegm into an HIV virus
2. Put 1000 copies of a single HIV virus strand into your professor's hand
3. Put your professor's hand into your immune system
4. ???
5. PROFIT
 
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