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Unbearable regret

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]' started by tavokeri9, Feb 4, 2014.

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  1. tavokeri9

    tavokeri9

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    What would you do if you regret something so much that it hurts every single time something reminds you of it? I could use the suggestions.
  2. NuttyEngDude

    NuttyEngDude Red-Flagville Gold Donor

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    i would find another girlfriend.

    Nothing worse than wallowing in your sorrows, seriously.
  3. Goro

    Goro

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    Seek counseling.

    WashUDad, DokterMom, Mad Jack and 7 others like this.
  4. gobigorgohome22

    gobigorgohome22

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    family, friends, significant other, job, school, tv, books, music, exercise,

    basically occupying your time with something productive.
    taniaekal and knv2u like this.
  5. mcloaf

    mcloaf SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor

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    Who talked you into watching Gigli?
  6. Catalystik

    Catalystik Providing Herd Protection SDN Advisor

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    Talk to a trusted mentor, physician, or mental health professional about it.
  7. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    I would post an ambiguous, off-topic thread on a pre-med forum.


    Sent from my iPad using SDN Mobile
  8. gobigorgohome22

    gobigorgohome22

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    Is it really necessary to be sarcastic to someone obviously hurting?
  9. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    About as necessary as you trying to lecture me on what is or isn't necessary.


    Sent from my iPad using SDN Mobile
    Goro likes this.
  10. gobigorgohome22

    gobigorgohome22

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    Agreed. Sorry.
  11. knv2u

    knv2u

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    Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you or are you just being a jerk? You seem to have displayed the same caustic attitude in another thread when it isn't called for.
  12. rudziutki

    rudziutki

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    I think most people have at least one moment like that in their lives. It gets better with time... maybe years, but time heals all wounds.

    In the short-term, having hobbies will help keep your mind distracted.
    taniaekal, Mad Jack and snowys435 like this.
  13. Life Sucks

    Life Sucks STUDY HARD PANTZ ON...

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    I don't regret anything. Regret causes you to look at something else instead of the big picture. If you're talking about regretting doing something important such as not being a doctor for let's say an engineer, then go for what your heart wants. If it is something medical related, we can't help you. You have to be more specific, but I would go talk to someone who can help you with whatever problem or ailment you have.
  14. darklabel

    darklabel

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    I agree with Apoptosome. If OP wants some help and it's related to premed (Such as bad grades, break up interfering with MCAT studying or leads to a bad score, bad cycle, not applying early enough, being arrested and how it wills show up in background checks etc) then maybe we can help this person. But this is extremely vague and sounds like the person needs a little help in the real world instead of us.
    jeghaber and theercster like this.
  15. Oso

    Oso

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    Agree. I don't understand the unnecessary harshness. We probably can't provide any useful advice in this situation, but there's still no need to be so critical (something you've displayed in other threads as well).

    I agree with @Catalystik and @Goro: OP you should probably find a close relative, counselor, or therapist to talk to. An anonymous internet forum isn't the best place to seek such personal advice. Good luck.
    Muad'Dib likes this.
  16. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    I find it incredibly interesting that just because I am open about my logical criticisms there must be something wrong with me.

    I am just as happy/sad/[insert emotion here] as any other girl. I just happen to have more intelligence and logic than most people. And I am not afraid to make a point and *gasp* hurt someone's feelings. People need to get over themselves.


    Sent from my iPad using SDN Mobile
    Goro likes this.
  17. Reckoner

    Reckoner Lacks theology and geometry Gold Donor

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    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2014
  18. histidine

    histidine

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    Apoptosome is in Mensa. Super smart and stuff.

    On topic: talk to friends and family.
    BlueLabel likes this.
  19. LizzyM

    LizzyM the evil queen of numbers SDN Advisor

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    You are new here and perhaps you are not aware of our culture. We are not here to deliberately hurt others feelings, particularly someone who is already hurting and reaching out to an anonymous forum for help. If you can be supportive and deliver bad news with a spoonful of honey, you are welcome to continue to be part of our community. If you find it enjoyable to sh it all over others, please take it elsewhere.
  20. compstomper

    compstomper SDN Bronze Donor Bronze Donor

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    Perhaps if you provide more details, we can give you some concrete advice, especially if it's a premed related issue.
    Reckoner and SunsFun like this.
  21. mcloaf

    mcloaf SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor

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    Generally in my experience those gifted with abilities don't need to go out of their way to point it out to others in an anonymous online forum where it can't be substantiated.
    No Limits likes this.
  22. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    Is this the same cop-out approach you take to dealing with your patients (assuming you are a physician, and not just some moderator who acts like their presence on a forum has any merit to real life)?
  23. Oso

    Oso

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    I think you should use this superior intelligence and logic to provide advice for people on this forum, not belittle them
    omg NOO
  24. histidine

    histidine

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    oh lawd. anyone want to place bets on when the hammer is going to come down on Apoptosome?
    bambam92, sup3rnova, Solaire and 10 others like this.
  25. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    wow

    :corny:
    snowys435 likes this.
  26. QuinnTheEskimo

    QuinnTheEskimo

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    :troll:
  27. mcloaf

    mcloaf SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor

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    Go back to telling us how smart you are.
  28. 700003

    700003

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    My god, I would hate to see what kind of doctor you will become, considering you don't really seem to care about people's feelings. Why even go into a humane profession?
    Goro, Muad'Dib, I Contr0lz I and 2 others like this.
  29. Taco Time

    Taco Time

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    Keep everything in perspective OP--don't let the highs get you too high and don't let the lows get you too low. If either this forum helps or it doesn't, I hope you can speak with someone you trust to resolve whatever tension you're feeling.
  30. 700003

    700003

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    OP maybe it would help to describe your problem more if you started a private conversation with people on SDN you think will give you good advice. I have a feeling Apoptosome may be intimidating you...
  31. knv2u

    knv2u

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    It is not the content of the ideas expressed, but how you expressed those ideas. It is the caustic sarcasm that I'm criticizing. I don't disagree that this is a question that would require more details and would be better solved by a mental health professional. I do disagree with acting like a complete ass to someone who is already down. If you don't see the difference, you will have problems with your future patients who will either not want to see you or will not open up to you. Becoming a doctor requires intellect/knowledge and the ability to empathize and build a relationship of trust with your patients.

    With regards to your other post, putative intelligence and logic are not a license to act in a hostile manner towards others. There are plenty of intelligent/logical people that also know how to interact with others. I would venture to say that there are several on the boards. :) So again, I think there is something other than a self-perceived sense of "intelligence" and "logic" that is the root of your attitude. Perhaps it is your arrogance.
    Goro, Microglia, Muad'Dib and 4 others like this.
  32. NontradCA

    NontradCA Ambassador of Hope

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    Apoptosome reminds me of my ex. Which in relevance to topic goes to show that while you may feel saddened by the changes happening in your life, often times it's for the better.

    Just give it time OP.
  33. plumhill

    plumhill

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    I say this in the nicest way possible, but you have to find a way to move forward. The more time you spend dwelling on mistakes/misfortunes of the past, the less likely it is that you will be able to succeed in the future.

    If you have never seen a counselor, I recommend it.
  34. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    Everyone accumulates regret to some degree. How you cope depends on what you did (cheat on an exam? spouse? bombed the MCAT?). If it's interfering with your day to day function, get thee to a counselor of some flavor ASAP. When/if you're attending class, completing assignments, showing up to work, try to re-frame how you use the energy you're burning on regret. Instead of using it for self-flagellation, see if there's a way you can spin it as inspiration.

    I regret not putting 105% of my effort into my MCAT score, and so I've decided to use my sadness to fuel my drive to excel with the boards. You might be able to find a healthier way to regard your own regrets, but first you have to give us or your trusted mentor a sense of what happened. Best of luck OP.
  35. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    I'm flattered that so many of you are so interested in me.

    As far as this trite text, you (along with many others) erroneously think being a doctor is about "helping people". Being a doctor is about curing an underlying condition. It's about ending a physical pathology.

    What you are describing is called Social Work. Perhaps you should look into the difference between the two before getting on another high horse.
  36. mcloaf

    mcloaf SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor

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    Stay in research; you have no clue what you're talking about.
    roundza, kittykattat, LizzyM and 3 others like this.
  37. knv2u

    knv2u

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    Don't flatter yourself.

    There is more to medicine than pathophysiology, and your failure to recognize this shows exactly why you shouldn't be a doctor. If your patients will not confide in you and tell you all of their symptoms and issues, then how can you devise a reasonable differential diagnosis? Moreover, stress and emotional issues can exacerbate physical maladies or sometimes cause them to present in unusual/different ways. Perhaps you should broaden your experience and knowledge of the medical field before making bold, unsubstantiated statements.
    Muad'Dib, 700003 and emilym like this.
  38. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    Stay in medicine, you have no idea what medical research is.


    Just because you chose to "trust" people to give you an honest history (because you obviously have no sense of intuition) doesn't mean that your model of medicine works for people who actually have a logical way of concluding what they need to know without a lot of needless hand-holding and a cheery bedside manner.

    But then again, you will probably lose more patients then me. But at least you can cry yourself to sleep by telling yourself that you "cared".

    This is a clear case of over-glorified nurses calling themselves doctors. Enjoy your primary care. Im sure those runny noses aren't going to diagnose themselves.
  39. msquaredb

    msquaredb

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    Someone watched a lot of House during their formative years and took it too seriously.
  40. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    Beyond being an ass, your qualifications are???
    Isha2018, bambam92, knv2u and 2 others like this.
  41. SunsFun

    SunsFun VICE president

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    You do realize that most of us did some sort of research in the undergrad and will/do get some more done in med school, including getting published?

    Bedside manner is the key. This is a service job. You're wrong about this. If your patients hate you it doesn't matter how smart you are. Nobody will listen. And you will also more likely to get sued.
  42. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    Never really got into that show. The guy is too much of a wuss.

    Defending my PhD in a year
    3.6 Grad GPA
    3.7 Undergrad
    41 MCAT

    Yours?
  43. mcloaf

    mcloaf SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor

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    I've done research. I do research now. I've met plenty of people exactly like you in research, which is fine because they tend to be good at what they do. But medical school interviews are in place to exclude people exactly like you, thankfully.
    700003, DrCharlemagne and SunsFun like this.
  44. SunsFun

    SunsFun VICE president

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    She is a pretty decent troll IMO. Nobody is that socially inept unless she has some sort of developmental disability.
  45. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    Accepted to medical school with years of experience in the clinic. If you can figure out how to operate the forum, you can find my stats. Rest assured my stats are less impressive than yours, and please feel free to continue sh*tting all over the forums. You're the best thing to hit this place since streampaw.
    roundza, dudeliness and emilym like this.
  46. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    Most of the PIs I've worked with were definitely clustered at one end of the autism spectrum; I have no problem believing Captain Condescension is legit.
    Goro and SunsFun like this.
  47. Apoptosome

    Apoptosome Removed

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    Im only a "troll" in the sense that it's easy to respond like this when an entire forum obsesses over you.

    Yeah, like its hard to fake being an idiot and smile while telling people who are stupider than me what they want to hear.

    I can tell you don't have inlaws.
  48. DrCharlemagne

    DrCharlemagne Old Maid in Training

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    OMG you and streampaw should become besties!
  49. 487806

    487806 Life of the Party!

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    :corny: Shooting yourself on the foot I see?
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  50. Zelda840

    Zelda840

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    Learn from it. Though most things get easier with time, some don't. If it's been more than a couple years and the pain still feels raw, you might need some sort of closure. Some things you can't fix, but learning from them can provide the closure you need to move forward.
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