Vet student / Vet student Relationship

[rossvet2011]

Hey guys. This is my first post on here. I'm having some problems. I'm currently a 4th semester Ross student and my girlfriend is a 7th semester Ross student, which means she will be leaving in a few months to do her clinical year in Oklahoma. We started dating in February and it has been the best time of my life. I'm struggling with the fact that I still have a year left on this God forsaken island without her. We live together and we've talked about eventually getting married. But, I don't know, I feel like there is a pit in my stomach and it's messing with my studies. I want to be a vet, but she has taken the top spot in my life and I would choose her over vetmed in a heartbeat, but she said that her career is first, and I understand. I'm just having a lot of anxiety and depression over this guys, I need some encouragement and advice. I'm in 4th semester so I've finally started getting into more clinical courses (pharm 2, path 2, clin path, MOD, EPI) and I need my mind right. I've applied for transfer to Oklahoma so we shall see how that goes. Hell, I've even considered dropping out the past few days and going back to my job Hydrofracking or applying to med school, enven considered teaching. She's just like my rock and I'm afraid that without her here, I'm going to fail miserably. Just the stress of school and someone that I feel so strongly for is leaving has me down. Then the thought of trying to find a job that will allow us to be together and pay well enough to pay off $250,000 worth of loans worries me. I just need some input.

Thanks again

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[No Imagination]

I lived apart from my fiance/wife for +2 years during my 3rd and fourth year in vet school. You just gotta do what you just gotta do. Personally, if my wife even thought about quitting school so she could be near me, I would have lost a lot of respect for her... You/she are putting in the sacrifices that will make your future life what it will be (I ****ing sound like Yoda). If you want to drop out, and try and dump your vet school debt on her, while you are working a job you don't enjoy...

Just saying, you better think long and hard about whether you are thinking about what you are doing; because in your head you might be thinking, "I will sacrifice my dream of being a vet to be with her", all I see is "I can't think any further then then next 360 days... and I am willing to sacrifice everything just to open my Christmas presents early".

I probably shouldn't write these while drunk...

 

[rossvet2011]

I know that I'm over reacting and I know that this feeling will go away, I'm just a worrier I guess. I need positive encouragement. The thought to drop out crossed my mind, but I could never do it. I'm already $150,000 in debt and I need someway to pay that back, not to mention that I love vetmed. I'm just to the point in my education where I am burnt out and ready to start my life. Still hopefull for that Oklahoma transfer though. It's nice to know that someone made it work out. Is your wife also a vet?

 

[rossvet2011]

And very Yoda-esque might I add. The christmas present line really sums it up though. I think that is what I'm feeling. Thanks a ton.

 

[sunshinevet]

To be honest, this is how I see it.

You told her she's the most important thing in your life.

She told you you're not the most important thing in her life.

These situations don't tend to end well. One of you is way more invested than the other, and you guys do NOT sound like you are on the same page in your relationship. I would not be giving up vet school for this relationship.

 

[pooter]

Take a breath, it's gonna be okay.

Yeah, the long-distance thing sucks, but it can be done. These boards are full of people like No Imagination who've pulled off long-distance relationships and even commuter marriages. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the distance could actually be good for you and your relationship. It sounds like it's been a whirlwind seven months for you, and now the two of you are considering some very big, rest-of-our-lives type decisions. You might need a cooling off period, just to make sure you have the right perspective. When all you can think about is how smooth her skin is, it can be hard to answer the big questions like "do we want the same things out of life?" and "will we still be friends when the passion wears off?" If the answer to all those questions is "emphatically yes," you'll both put the effort into the long distance relationship, and in the long run your relationship will be stronger. And if, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out, that's okay too because it means there's something better waiting down the line. Enjoy the time that you have together, and when it's time for her to go get yourself a really good cellular plan so you can stay in touch and then go out and reconnect with other friends or make some new ones. Everybody needs more than one person in their support system. Just don't make the mistake of sacrificing who you are just for the chance to be close to her. If you really are meant to be, then a year is nothing in the long run, and if you're not, don't throw your future away trying to make it work. That being said, I don't necessarily agree with sunshinevet (though, obviously, neither of us knows you, so take our judgments with a pound of salt); her valuing her career doesn't necessarily mean that she loves you less than you love her--it might just mean that she loves her career more than you love yours. If that makes any sense. Anyway, I'm all out of sage wisdom. Good luck!

 

[twelvetigers]

As an FYI, transfer to OK as a 4th semester student... isn't that a bit later than most would transfer? You would start in August 2013 as a 2nd year student. That's a lot of extra time and money spent in/on vet school. I would just finish on the island and try to maintain the LDR as best you can. If it's any consolation, she will be a very busy lady while doing clinicals - you wouldn't see as much of her as you would like even if you lived here.

Just keep reminding yourself that any separation is temporary. Good luck to you both.