Volunteering at a Hospice... Advice?

[musliminmed]

So, I will probably be volunteering at a hospice soon, and I was wondering if anyone had any sort of advice for me?

Tbh, I have never really experienced the death of a close loved one, nor have I been involved in the last 6 months of someones life. I really want to push myself and face this, because I want to be a more grounded, mature and understanding person, especially when medicine not only closely related to life, but to death as well.

I'm just really scared of messing up or saying the wrong thing or just not being competent....

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[Catalystik]

Would strongly suggest you consider reading the book Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande (MD), that came out late last year. Only 195 pages and a fast read due to the engaging illustrative examples given by the author from his practice of medicine. It will help orient you on end-of-life issues and help you with appropriate language to use, questions to ask, and attitude with which to enter the experience you contemplate. I got it as an e-book from my local library and read it on an I-Pad.

 

[eatingcake]

I volunteered with a hospice for 2 years and it was a fantastic experience.

As far as knowing what to say, first of all, you should get a lot of training before you first sit with a patient. During that training there should be a lot of discussion re: what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and to whom you should and should not say it.

However, you will be working with human beings and therefore will probably experience a couple of foot-in-mouth moments. Don't fret or stew over them--learn and move on! Many of the patients you see will probably not remember the silly thing you said, and the family members probably have too much on their mind to dwell on it. Just be yourself, use your judgment and when that fails you, chalk it up to a lesson learned.

Note: f you don't get good, thorough training ahead of time (I had 3-hour weekly trainings for two and a half months before I first sat with a patient, plus lots of homework between sessions) you should be cautious and wary of your hospice volunteer program.

 

[xerei]

All great advice so far. I just want to share my personal experience with 2 different patients over 1.5 years just as a heads-up. They were both very old gentlemen - with the first guy, we just played cards, he didn't really want to talk but he would thank me with a huge smile after it all, so I knew he enjoyed it. With the second guy, we played a game of checkers and then talked for a bit - he'd tell me about the movies he'd watched that week, about his grandkids, etc.

The point I'm making is that in my case, it was super chill and there was no reason to be nervous. Conversations were easy; if it got slow, I'd ask if he'd ever been to [insert country, state, restaurant here], or to tell me about his kids, or what he did for a living, etc. It was fun, and they really appreciated it, and again all I'm saying is, it might not be as stressful as you think.

 

[ScienceBrah]

Hey! Just wanted to add my experience. I was a CNA for a year before peace corps and it was one of the best things I could have done. In my facility, the patients could be put on hospice but they'd remain in their rooms with us. I'm sure you already know, but hospice isn't always for the dying. There's something called "failure to thrive" so you might see younger (60-80) people who are just deteriorating but they can get better and be taken off hospice and that's always great to see. We've had way too many people that were at death's door only to spring back a few days later. It's really crazy how this works.
The best thing I took away from that experience (and what I've gotten from serving the poor ) is that you can sympathize and empathize, but you'll never actually know how that person's feeling cause you're not them. So don't worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, because it's a rocky area. When in doubt, stop talking and listen. They're happy that you're there. You'll see some people with families and some without. You'll have some people who want you around and some who want their space. We had some people we'd just watch the baseball game with or South Pacific or do their hair. One woman liked to wear bright pink lipstick everyday. Find things they like and that make them feel like themselves! And I always found it bittersweet to see them go. Deep down, you know they needed to because life wasn't fun for them anymore, but you love them and you miss seeing them everyday. Good luck!

 

[eatingcake]

Hey! Just wanted to add my experience. I was a CNA for a year before peace corps and it was one of the best things I could have done. In my facility, the patients could be put on hospice but they'd remain in their rooms with us. I'm sure you already know, but hospice isn't always for the dying. There's something called "failure to thrive" so you might see younger (60-80) people who are just deteriorating but they can get better and be taken off hospice and that's always great to see...

That's interesting! We had patients on palliative care for failure to thrive, but never on hospice. They needed a prognosis of 6 months or less. I wonder if the regulations vary from hospice to hospice or state to state?

And a huge +1 to just listen, or just sit and be quiet with the patient. Human presence, even w/o the exchange of words can be very comforting.

 

[bee17]

As one of the previous posters said, you should receive training from the facility before you ever interact with people. I was worried about Hospice being a depressing experience, but it really hasn't been. The clients and families are generally grateful for your help. Think about how taxing it can be to be the sole caretaker for an adult who, in some cases, cannot walk, feed themselves, or use the restroom independently. In my experience, families very much appreciate the opportunity to just be there and talk to their loved one without having to worry about medical issues and physical care. Don't worry about not knowing what to say; listening is more important than talking anyway. With clients who are capable of speech/comprehension, just take their lead and have a normal conversation.

I also want to clarify something that many people do not understand about Hospice clients: you don't have to be 70+ to be dying. It is rare to have very young clients, but I have cared for several in their 30s and 40s. It is a strange sensation to watch someone younger than your parents on Hospice.

I think your motivation for volunteering at Hospice is definitely valid. I will say that I've learned much more about life at Hospice than I have about death, and it has solidified my decision to spend my life caring for people. I would highly recommend it.