what does this question mean?

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music710

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So far on the interview trail, I've been asked a few times about my marital status, my fiance, etc. Some times it's after me mentioning the fact that I recently got engaged, and then some interviewer would casually ask about my fiance (or is it really "casual"?). At one place, I was outright asked about my marital status.

While I understand that it's an "illegal" question... I still have to say something when asked. Sure, I could say something like "I'd rather not talk about my marital status"... but that probably sounds pretty crappy.

Can someone please help analyze this question a bit with me? What is an interviewer looking for with these questions? (perhaps applicants who are married/engaged are less likely to move?? what else?) And given the interviewer's intentions, what would be good ways of answering safely?

thanks!

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first of all, i am assuming you are female because they get asked marital questions alot.

there are many reasons why programs ask these types of questions. one is to determine if you will be having children during your residency. another is because they assume that if your husband is not in medicine (or if he does IM which is 3 years), to determine if you would leave their program because thats what all good wives would do (i hope you hint the sarcasm...).

and when you are answering the questions, just be honest and give definitive answers. like...we got engaged last month, our wedding is planned for ____, we will not be having kids till after residency (lie if you have too!).

hope this helps!
 
thanks, radonc.

how about for a dude..?
 
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Hey music man,

I think marital status is one of those "don't ask, don't tell" questions. I sat on med school admissions and we didn't talk about it unless the applicant brought it up.

As far as what they want to know.... I would guess they look for red flags-- instability, a spouse that is still in school or does not want to move, but also ways to help-- if your spouse is also matching, or needs to find a job. After I talked about my wife with one chairman, he said "we might need to do a double recruit"-- which is funny because my wife is not in medicine.

It's also a good way to see another side of the applicant, or make a personal connection... ie "Oh, my wife is/is not in medicine too". And it's polite to ask if someone brings it up, after all marriage is a big part of one's life.

I think in dealing with any question honesty is best. In the long run it's going to help you find a good fit for a residency... and I know you're going to find a good fit.

Joe
 
sorry music for the misunderstanding!

first, its totally different if a girl gets asked marital questions then when a guy does. for a guy, i think it would be a benign question, to say the very least.

it could be lots of things if you are a guy---i know when i interviewed at a school in the bible belt/tobacco row, i think they just wanted to get to know me, my beliefs, and what stage of life i was in.

i think Joe N had some good ideas too....
 
I'm getting a lot of questions about my wife as well. Of course, she's currently on the interview trail for her first attending position (HSCT), and it would be cool to end up in the same time zone. I'm not sure I would have been asked about my spouse had this not been part of the scenario.

From what I've heard, there are a lot of Rad Onc programs that for some reason get a Viagra-type reaction to ensuring that they maneuver their ROL to get their top choices. Since Rad Onc is insanely competitive and people are interviewing at a couple dozen places each, a lot of these folks probably delve a little too much into candidates' personal lives to get those nuggets of info that may impact where their program will be ranked.

Then again, we're not talking about a huge residency program like IM here. Since Rad Onc is more of a tight, family atmosphere, perhaps people feel more comfortable asking more personal questions.

In any case, I have found (in all but one instance) nothing but overwhelming support from people when I explain my situation. I take this as reassurance that their interest in these matters is likely benign.
 
A lot of the issue nowadays is that they want to know that if they rank you highly, your spousal situation wont compromise your decision. This isn't just asked of woman and its not a "will you become pregnant and drop out" question much of the time but rather a logistical one.

Some places feel that its not a good place for singles (small towns etc) and so you are less likely to be happy there.

Sometimes people really would like you there and they want to know if they can make it more attractive to you via helpin gout your spouce (say with getting them a residency in a program there).

So you can't really "finesse" the question too much. Do what you can to assure them you are interested overall and don't worry too much about it.
If something with regard to your spouce is a real issue you'll need to decide if offering that information helps or hurts you (i.e. their family lives in that town versus they are wanted on a felony in that state).
 
Originally posted by radonc


first, its totally different if a girl gets asked marital questions then when a guy does. for a guy, i think it would be a benign question, to say the very least.

HARDLY true!
 
ADawaal wrote:

"From what I've heard, there are a lot of Rad Onc programs that for some reason get a Viagra-type reaction to ensuring that they maneuver their ROL to get their top choices. "


Its not a rad onc thing; its everywhere. THe more prestigous the hospital the more true it is.
 
Hmmmm. I would think these types of questions would be troublesome for an applicant in a less traditional situation in their personal life, especially in such a small field. Is everyone who is able to match into rad onc straight?
 
thanks for the great insight, everyone!
 
Just from my limited experience on the interview trail thus far, I can tell you that there are definitely radonc residents who are not straight and not having to hide it, either.

I think the "married?" question has more to do with location preference than with sexual orientation/preference/availability, though I could be naive.
 
i agree; i don't think the question is to flesh out your sexual orientation usually. while i can't say that never would happen, I think its usuallya question innocent of homophobia. Of course not everyone who matches is straight. And I'd suspect the extent to which you find folks open will vary from place to place. Same as always.

BTW I wouldnt offer up much personal info such as "we're getting married on ___ date" simply as its not anyone's business. If asked, decide how you best want to handle it, but dont make your personal life a discussion that you offer them.
 
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