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I'll bet she's glad to know you agree with her a full decade after she posted
What is the divorce rate for doctors?
- Thread starter Drako
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I'll bet she's glad to know you agree with her a full decade after she posted
The best way to give bulletproof advice is to know what the hell you are talking about before giving it. Experience goes a very long way towards establishing authority on a subject.
Sweet Jesus...Perhaps this thread would do well to have more replies from married attendings and/or senior residents.
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Well, that's not too far beyond the non-med rate now, is it?
Let me point out a rather large confounder in this little anecdote- "ortho surg." Not sayin', I'm just sayin'.
Married right now, heading to med school next year. I think there's a whole lot of hubbub for nothing. Know yourself, know your partner, and don't just pretend you do. I'm not worried. Will bump this thread if and when I'm divorced, presuming my then ex-wife doesn't get my SDN account as part of the settlement.
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Just thinking about how many hardworking doctors get divorced each year is depressing.
Maybe it's best to take the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie approach to marriage and seek partners with whom we can be happily unmarried (minus the half dozen kids).
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People say that to be happy to marry someone outside of medicine. All of the doctors I have shadowed and interviewed were happier if their spouses were in medicine as well. I mean I'm sure its better if your spouse understands the work load on the road to becoming a doctor and thereafter.
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You may be right. My friend's parents are both doctors and have been happily married for a long, long time. It'd be nice to have a married attending's perspective on here.
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It really would. My girlfriend of 2+ years is a premed as well and honestly it couldn't get any better. But I would like to see a few attendings views on this.
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The best way to give bulletproof advice is to know what the hell you are talking about before giving it. Experience goes a very long way towards establishing authority on a subject.
Perhaps this thread would do well to have more replies from married attendings and/or senior residents.
I agree that married attendings and/or residents would bring an interesting perspective to this debate. That said, experience =/= the ability to read sociology journals and glean accepted, 50 year old, Chicago School truths. For years, researchers have proven that married couples who share similar interests and a similar line of work are significantly happier and drama-free than others. This is certainly not to say that a doctor couldn't be happy married to a schoolteacher, a pharmacist, or a mechanic; just that, in the long run, couples in the same line of work will likely see the world the same way and will thus have more in common. (Research has demonstrated that profession can sometimes be more powerful a factor in determining relationship outcomes than both income and religion.)
In my view, the most important criterion for my potential hubby is a pronounced forebrain.
I agree that married attendings and/or residents would bring an interesting perspective to this debate. That said, experience =/= the ability to read sociology journals and glean accepted, 50 year old, Chicago School truths. For years, researchers have proven that married couples who share similar interests and a similar line of work are significantly happier and drama-free than others. This is certainly not to say that a doctor couldn't be happy married to a schoolteacher, a pharmacist, or a mechanic; just that, in the long run, couples in the same line of work will likely see the world the same way and will thus have more in common. (Research has demonstrated that profession can sometimes be more powerful a factor in determining relationship outcomes than both income and religion.)
In my view, the most important criterion for my potential hubby is a pronounced forebrain.
I believe the general principle is commonly referred to as "equally yoked". While I don't doubt that publications exist to support the principle, it is foolhardy to endorse such a specific application as the best way to ensure a successful marriage. I'm sure you are aware that a publication is only as good as its design, true outcomes measured and generalizability, and that it seems a tad irrational to choose one's spouse based on their interest in a particular field of medicine. While I appreciate scientific literature as much as the next nerd, I'd rather hear from a panel of 40+ year old docs that have done it well, and some that haven't. Reading about the kinesiology of batting doesn't make you Babe Ruth. Experience simply has no substitute in certain matters. I am still a semester shy of my MD, but I have been happily married throughout med school. I'd bet my bottom dollar that the important priorities include patience, communication, and mutual sacrifice. It's most helpful to hear practical advice on to apply them well. These things are best perfected over time, and don't make for easy scientific measures.
In reference to the some of the above posts, there are easily 30 married students in my 4th year class. One divorce thus far. Per the student it was unrelated to their schedule demands. I'm sure that's atypically low, but it can be done if you and your spouse agree on priorities and work to keep them in order.
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