what to do when you strongly dislike your coworkers but like your job and boss?

[FeenyFee]

Hi guys,

I recently started a job as a vet assistant and the vet that I'm hopefully getting a recommendation from is really kind, patient and a great mentor.

However, I tend to only work with the other techs and they are the opposite. Very brash, borderline rude and only speak to each other.... I don't think they wanted to have to train someone completely new and I totally understand that which is why I try to make there job as easy as possible but the training I get from them is quite lacking.

The vets come up to me and say I'm doing a good job and that I'm a hard worker so its nice to hear that. The techs just make me kind of miserable to go there every day...

If I get accepted into vet school, I will only be there for a year and a few months.

Do you guys have any advice on dealing with coworkers you don't particularly like or don't like you?

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[hazelmoo]

I would definitely continue working there and give it some time. Since you just started, I would say that the techs may be unwilling to trust someone that they don't know, especially since they have probably all been working together for a while. My best advice would be to just be as nice to everyone as you possibly can (kill 'em with kindness!), and try to observe and help as much as you can without stepping on their toes or getting in their way.. DEFINITELY ask questions if you don't know how to do something, but also don't be overly eager. It sounds bad, but after you are there for a little longer the techs may open up and help you more and more.
When I started my first tech job, I wanted to do everything and learn as much as I could. After about a year of working and becoming close friends with everyone, all of the seasoned techs told me they thought I was super annoying at first because I was so eager. Not necessarily how it should be, but that's how it was! You have to remember that they are probably used to doing things their certain way, being fast and efficient, without having to slow down their pace to teach anyone... But as a tech, I ALWAYS take the time to teach new people and let them do restraint, blood draws, cystos, microscopy, etc, even if we are busy. And if there is absolutely no time, I will teach them whatever they want to learn after the rush is gone. Hopefully, with time, the techs you are working with will see how important it is for you to learn what they know, to make their job essentially easier in the long run.
If you really think that they aren't training you like you should and it is becoming difficult to do your job, I would ask the head vet for help. Maybe they will see that you aren't being trained properly and he/she will intervene. You could even ask questions and be genuinely interested when the techs are training you, which will hopefully give them the hint that they aren't doing enough. If you give it a couple of months and nothing has changed at all, I would then talk to the vet about their behavior.. But I really think it will get better before it gets to that point! Hope this helps!

 

[FeenyFee]

I would definitely continue working there and give it some time. Since you just started, I would say that the techs may be unwilling to trust someone that they don't know, especially since they have probably all been working together for a while. My best advice would be to just be as nice to everyone as you possibly can (kill 'em with kindness!), and try to observe and help as much as you can without stepping on their toes or getting in their way.. DEFINITELY ask questions if you don't know how to do something, but also don't be overly eager. It sounds bad, but after you are there for a little longer the techs may open up and help you more and more.
When I started my first tech job, I wanted to do everything and learn as much as I could. After about a year of working and becoming close friends with everyone, all of the seasoned techs told me they thought I was super annoying at first because I was so eager. Not necessarily how it should be, but that's how it was! You have to remember that they are probably used to doing things their certain way, being fast and efficient, without having to slow down their pace to teach anyone... But as a tech, I ALWAYS take the time to teach new people and let them do restraint, blood draws, cystos, microscopy, etc, even if we are busy. And if there is absolutely no time, I will teach them whatever they want to learn after the rush is gone. Hopefully, with time, the techs you are working with will see how important it is for you to learn what they know, to make their job essentially easier in the long run.
If you really think that they aren't training you like you should and it is becoming difficult to do your job, I would ask the head vet for help. Maybe they will see that you aren't being trained properly and he/she will intervene. You could even ask questions and be genuinely interested when the techs are training you, which will hopefully give them the hint that they aren't doing enough. If you give it a couple of months and nothing has changed at all, I would then talk to the vet about their behavior.. But I really think it will get better before it gets to that point! Hope this helps!

Thanks Hazelmoo! They are very close knit so its hard for me to break into that circle... especially because I'm not super comfortable around new humans myself I also think I'm extremely self aware and have a tendency to be too sensitive. This is probably adding on to why I feel so uncomfortable.

 

[hazelmoo]

Thanks Hazelmoo! They are very close knit so its hard for me to break into that circle... especially because I'm not super comfortable around new humans myself I also think I'm extremely self aware and have a tendency to be too sensitive. This is probably adding on to why I feel so uncomfortable.

I completely understand! I am the kind of person who wants everyone to like them, and I can be overly sensitive too. I tend to get my feelings hurt when people are rude or mean or whatever.. But just remember that it's nothing personal, and hopefully they will warm up to you in time!

 

[FeenyFee]

I completely understand! I am the kind of person who wants everyone to like them, and I can be overly sensitive too. I tend to get my feelings hurt when people are rude or mean or whatever.. But just remember that it's nothing personal, and hopefully they will warm up to you in time!

Thank you!!! Good luck to you, I hope you get an interview from your top school!! I've been lurking on SDN the past month and saw you post on one of the threads about Texas I think lol

 

[missdarjeeling]

I agree with hazelmoo to give it a little bit of time. IME, this is kind of a common thing. It takes some time for newer assistants/techs to become a part of the team, and I feel like it may be pretty common to feel uncomfortable when you first start. I also agree with hazelmoo about people being used to doing something quickly and efficiently. Having to slow down to train someone while you've got doctors and clients breathing down your neck and a clock ticking can be stressful. A lot of people aren't really that well suited to dealing with that kind of situation and aren't so good at teaching or mentoring people. Ideally, your hospital should have at least one or two more senior people who are more skilled in training to help you along, but if they don't, you may just have to give it time and see who you work best with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being eager, but that can rub some others the wrong way. I'd just suggest that you don't keep questions to yourself because you don't want to look too eager. It's better to speak up and get involved, especially if you're hoping to get a letter from a doctor. Just try your best to relax and be who you are. Try not to take it too personally if they're all tight knit and not so welcoming to you right now. It most likely has nothing to do with you as a person or with anything you're doing or not doing. I feel like in these types of work environments, people bond closely over the stress they experience more than anything else that they might have in common, and that can only happen with shared experiences. In time you'll be sharing those experiences with these same techs, and they'll likely open up to you a little bit and begin to trust you as they get to see your work ethic and your skills.

It can be really rough starting off at a new place. It happened to me with this newer job even though I had a good amount of experience as an assistant. People were sometimes rude and condescending and not so welcoming, but as I got more settled, they started treating me differently. It can be really draining and distracting, but try to hang in there for a little while longer. Focus on the good things and focus on learning. Be positive and polite around people even if they're being rude. Be confident in what you do know how to do but don't shy away from asking questions when it's something you don't know.

And if your training is really lacking, even after some time has passed, consider bringing that up diplomatically with the manager, if there is one, or the doctor, if that's who is in charge of it. Regardless of how the staff are acting, it's the responsibility of whoever is higher up the chain to ensure you have the support you need to do your job properly.

I hope things turn around for you there soon!

 

[hazelmoo]

Thank you!!! Good luck to you, I hope you get an interview from your top school!! I've been lurking on SDN the past month and saw you post on one of the threads about Texas I think lol

Thank you so much! Yes, I am really hoping to get an interview at A&M but we will see Good luck with your job, I am confident it will get better with time!

 

[FeenyFee]

I agree with hazelmoo to give it a little bit of time. IME, this is kind of a common thing. It takes some time for newer assistants/techs to become a part of the team, and I feel like it may be pretty common to feel uncomfortable when you first start. I also agree with hazelmoo about people being used to doing something quickly and efficiently. Having to slow down to train someone while you've got doctors and clients breathing down your neck and a clock ticking can be stressful. A lot of people aren't really that well suited to dealing with that kind of situation and aren't so good at teaching or mentoring people. Ideally, your hospital should have at least one or two more senior people who are more skilled in training to help you along, but if they don't, you may just have to give it time and see who you work best with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being eager, but that can rub some others the wrong way. I'd just suggest that you don't keep questions to yourself because you don't want to look too eager. It's better to speak up and get involved, especially if you're hoping to get a letter from a doctor. Just try your best to relax and be who you are. Try not to take it too personally if they're all tight knit and not so welcoming to you right now. It most likely has nothing to do with you as a person or with anything you're doing or not doing. I feel like in these types of work environments, people bond closely over the stress they experience more than anything else that they might have in common, and that can only happen with shared experiences. In time you'll be sharing those experiences with these same techs, and they'll likely open up to you a little bit and begin to trust you as they get to see your work ethic and your skills.

It can be really rough starting off at a new place. It happened to me with this newer job even though I had a good amount of experience as an assistant. People were sometimes rude and condescending and not so welcoming, but as I got more settled, they started treating me differently. It can be really draining and distracting, but try to hang in there for a little while longer. Focus on the good things and focus on learning. Be positive and polite around people even if they're being rude. Be confident in what you do know how to do but don't shy away from asking questions when it's something you don't know.

And if your training is really lacking, even after some time has passed, consider bringing that up diplomatically with the manager, if there is one, or the doctor, if that's who is in charge of it. Regardless of how the staff are acting, it's the responsibility of whoever is higher up the chain to ensure you have the support you need to do your job properly.

I hope things turn around for you there soon!

Thank you so much for your advice!! I will definitely stick it out and keep pushing through and learning everything I can.

 

[rosyposy520]

I have been there too. Hang in there. Bring them cookies and do little things to show how much you appreciate them. Even if it's more of a "thanks in advance for when you actually start being nice and helpful." lol Acknowledge that you realize that training a new person can sometimes be challenging in the midst of a busy day. Let them know that you really value their experience, etc etc and you want to be able to eventually take things off their plate to make their jobs easier...and this can happen once you are fully trained. Ask if there are certain ways you could do things to help the training feel less "burdensome" for them. This will hopefully help them empathize with you and realize that training you will actually benefit them too. Hope this helps!

 

[TotesMahGoats]

I feel like food makes lots of friends.

 

[Cephal0pod]

I have been there too. Hang in there. Bring them cookies and do little things to show how much you appreciate them. Even if it's more of a "thanks in advance for when you actually start being nice and helpful." lol Acknowledge that you realize that training a new person can sometimes be challenging in the midst of a busy day.

This. Cookies can go a long way.

Also wanted to note that I have had similar experiences, and I agree that sometimes it just takes time. Show up on time and ready to go (and occasionally with cookies ), work hard and do your best, be kind, learn quickly, go home, rinse, repeat.

 

[Shreddr22]

It's no fun huh? I've had the worst experience starting out at the place I am at currently. From dealing with condescending comments, rude looks and gossip behind my back, to flat out being ignored, shoved away, treated like I am just there to mop, and outright lies that challenged my work ethic, and I took it straight to the top. This clinic has some of the most horrible girls I have ever had the pleasure of working with. And they are good at what they do, close-knit yet talk behind each other's backs all the time, and they actually need people to fill positions they don't want to fill. They refuse to teach, yet they criticize when I don't know how to do something. It's been a year, and I've held my ground. Today I work as a treatment technician. I also open the place when we're closed and I treat hospitalized patients, etc. I work a lot with the doctors, and I have earned their respect and trust. Despite my coworkers, I've learned an incredible amount in a year, and I had so much experience to put on my veterinary application. Guess who is going to write you those letters of recommendation? It's not going to be the jealous technician that saw you as a threat to her position, or the one that failed to acknowledge your existence for 6 months. As you can probably tell, I've had a rough time of it...I almost quit a few times. But FeenyFee, don't ever let anyone hold you back from a great opportunity. Unfortunately, it won't be the last veterinary practice you enter that will have the kind of problems we are discussing. You might be a veterinarian one day with your own practice, and the things you are going through today will help you better manage that practice. Keep learning, be as obnoxious as you need to be to advance your education, because these are the tools that will help you better care for the animals around you. Be a great person, be respectful, be positive, be an enthusiastic learner, don't worry about being annoying, that is absolutely ridiculous, people need to get over themselves. Message me if you ever need to talk!

 

[pinkpuppy9]

I disagree with kissing butt in order to be included. Not that bringing snacks is a bad thing, but you should know that things will take time. Try proving yourself in other ways, such as your abilities in the clinic. My first assistant job was at a clinic where the owner/vet was extremely tied to her community and her employees were her daughter, her other daughter's best friend, a girl who had worked there for over 10 years, and women who had worked there for over 20 years. It was definitely hard to fit in with that group, although only one was outright nasty to me. Over a few months, I must have shown everyone that I was serious about the job and was competent, because I was asked to do more and welcomed into conversations more.

I say give it time, but don't allow yourself to be walked over. If things get seriously uncomfortable for you, consider talking to your boss about it. You shouldn't have to dread going to work because of the people there.

 

[FeenyFee]

It's no fun huh? I've had the worst experience starting out at the place I am at currently. From dealing with condescending comments, rude looks and gossip behind my back, to flat out being ignored, shoved away, treated like I am just there to mop, and outright lies that challenged my work ethic, and I took it straight to the top. This clinic has some of the most horrible girls I have ever had the pleasure of working with. And they are good at what they do, close-knit yet talk behind each other's backs all the time, and they actually need people to fill positions they don't want to fill. They refuse to teach, yet they criticize when I don't know how to do something. It's been a year, and I've held my ground. Today I work as a treatment technician. I also open the place when we're closed and I treat hospitalized patients, etc. I work a lot with the doctors, and I have earned their respect and trust. Despite my coworkers, I've learned an incredible amount in a year, and I had so much experience to put on my veterinary application. Guess who is going to write you those letters of recommendation? It's not going to be the jealous technician that saw you as a threat to her position, or the one that failed to acknowledge your existence for 6 months. As you can probably tell, I've had a rough time of it...I almost quit a few times. But FeenyFee, don't ever let anyone hold you back from a great opportunity. Unfortunately, it won't be the last veterinary practice you enter that will have the kind of problems we are discussing. You might be a veterinarian one day with your own practice, and the things you are going through today will help you better manage that practice. Keep learning, be as obnoxious as you need to be to advance your education, because these are the tools that will help you better care for the animals around you. Be a great person, be respectful, be positive, be an enthusiastic learner, don't worry about being annoying, that is absolutely ridiculous, people need to get over themselves. Message me if you ever need to talk!

Thank you for you advice and for sharing your experience Shreddr22. I actually just got home from work and feel like crap. As I was mopping, the receptionist grabbed my mop (literally out of my hand) and lazily mopped the front, not even reaching half of it and says "done." after 5 seconds ..... If she was fun and nice to me I would have taken it as a joke, but it was just rude.

On one side I want to "suck up" to make my life easier but my ego is more like "F these (enter naughty word here" lol

I will definitely follow your advice, thank you for taking the time for replying

 

[battie]

I agree with giving it time. But I also agree with taking it up to your employer if things don't improve after a month or two months. It is unacceptable for people to act like brats or be rude to others. If I can get ten 20 year old RAs (7 of which are female and 1 a massive drama queen) to get along for the most part, then your employer can set the line straight with their employees who are hopefully more mature than my RAs.

 

[hbr1704]

Just be patient. In my experiences at vet hospitals techs are the hardest to win over and are the key to keeping your job esp. working as a vet assistant or even shadowing. If you want to keep your job or that opportunity you need to kiss as much or more vet tech butt than vet butt. The logic in that does not make sense because the vet is the one that will be writing a rec or providing a reference for a future job, but you can bet every dollar the vet will ask the techs about you. Eventually the techs will be easier on you so don't worry.

 

[FeenyFee]

Just be patient. In my experiences at vet hospitals techs are the hardest to win over and are the key to keeping your job esp. working as a vet assistant or even shadowing. If you want to keep your job or that opportunity you need to kiss as much or more vet tech butt than vet butt. The logic in that does not make sense because the vet is the one that will be writing a rec or providing a reference for a future job, but you can bet every dollar the vet will ask the techs about you. Eventually the techs will be easier on you so don't worry.

That's a good point, the vet I'm getting the rec from is really close with her techs so she will definitely ask them about me.

 

[pinkpuppy9]

That's a good point, the vet I'm getting the rec from is really close with her techs so she will definitely ask them about me.

Yes, but any vet worth his/her salt is also relatively aware of how his/her employees treat other employees. If you're doing perfectly fine, the vet will know (unless your practice design has the vet that seriously removed from you, or is a huge practice).

 

[Pugsforlove2014]

It took me a full summer and then a little to break into the social circle where I last worked. I was nervous around people too, but as I got to know them I began to get that it wasn't anything personal. They ended up even hosting one of my bachelerrette parties and I couldn't love them more!
Another girl I knew was pretty much within a month a part of the group but she's a social butterfly. Different with everyone. In equal measure to this you've got to make sure you yourself are coming off as social, can't expect other people to bother of you yourself don't. People love talking about themselves would just ask them about their own lives.