why are some things so difficult?

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randomlogik

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I know I shouldnt be stressing about this yet....but it's a good distractant from studying.
So here is my issue....In theory, I am going to applying to residency at roughly the same time as my boyfriend is applying to psychology grad school. I never realized how competitive grad school was! Apparently, it will be just as hard for him to get accepted as it was for me to get into med school. Right now we already live in different states (Louisiana/Idaho), so I feel that when I am a resident, we absolutely have to be living together. I don't think I could handle being apart for another 4 years! With everything being so competitive, how are we ever going to end up being accepted in the same city?! *sigh*

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Um cross that bridge when you get there. A lot of this depends on what field you decide to enter. Another advantage would be to apply for positions is big cities (with lots of programs in your field). In the end the most important thing would be to do as well as you can in school and on Step I and then pick your field. If you excel throughout med school you should be fine. Also, not to rain on your parade but i cant even tell you how many people i know broke up with their BF/GF during year one. This usually happens around Nov, Dec.

Another option would be for you or for him to try and transfer, some medical schools take transfers after 2nd yr. If you are interested in this option I would look into it now because it is incredibly competetive. Good luck!
 
Thanks for your reply. I know it is true that many couples do break up, but considering we've already made it through the first year (I'm a T-2) without any problems, I guess I am a bit optomistic that we will stay together. I guess I'm really just voicing my concerns, but there doesn't seem like there is much that I can do other than try to do my best in school. It's just frustrating that we have so little control over these things.
 
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No doubt that we have little control. The thing is once you pick a field you want to go to and decide what part of the country you want to live in then go there 4th yr and let it be known that you want to be there no matter what! Also, if you decide earlier see if you can find other ways to impress them so you can guarantee yourself a spot. You dont have to rank places you dont want to go to. It really depends on how competetive of a field you pick and how competetive of an applicant you are!

BTW whats is a T-2? Also, I wasnt insinuating you wouldnt make it just that many dont.
 
That seems to be good advice. It's too soon to be worrying about it now I guess. A million things could happen. I still like to have some sort of idea of which direction I am headed in. Now I just need to figure out where we want to live. He seems to think Louisiana is too hot to live in (imagine that?!) and well there isn't to much in the lines of residencies in Idaho.
T-2....sorry, forgot its a school thing. I go to Tulane so we call second years T-2's....whereas LSU is down the street and they are L-2's, etc..
 
I have lots of friends in psych grad. school, it is nowhere near as competitive as residency, the only problem would be that there are going to be less universities in a given town then residency programs. Regardless, worry about that later.
 
Don't worry I'm sure you guys will break up before then. If he's a pyschologist he should know the most important factor in any relationship is geography.

Sometimes we have to make a choice: career or personal life? You can fit them together sometimes....sometimes not.
 
chameleonknight said:
Don't worry I'm sure you guys will break up before then. If he's a pyschologist he should know the most important factor in any relationship is geography.

Sometimes we have to make a choice: career or personal life? You can fit them together sometimes....sometimes not.
Yeah, but they've already made it through the year when most couples break up. So I think there's nothing wrong with thinking about it. But it's the kind of thing to keep in the back of your mind, just so you can recognize any opportunities that come your way which might make your plan more workable.

Something no one has mentioned is the possibility of transferring residencies after the first year. From what I've heard, it's not exactly a rare occurrance, like transferring med schools is. So even if you don't end up where you want to be, you're not stuck there.

Another route you can go is to do a transitional year at a place you both like, and think is a reasonable option for both your programs. Then if he doesn't get in there, you can apply for your actual residency wherever he does get in. So at most, you'd be apart an extra year. Which is probably good for your relationship as well, since he will have the same adjustments to face in his first year of clinical psych as you had in your first year of medical school. And you want to be sure you're going to make it past that, too.
 
chameleonknight said:
Don't worry I'm sure you guys will break up before then.

Gee...thanks for the optimism. I for one tend to have a little more faith. Especially since things are completely fine between us right now.

Samoa...I didn't realize that one could transfer residencies very easily. That will be something that I'll have to keep in mind.
 
I wouldnt say it is EASY.. a spot at your PGY would have to open up. I think the point is that it is easier than tranferring medical schools. The way I see it these are the factors that would favor your ability to be in the same place.

1) Pick a less competetive residency (this is a crappy option and could make you miserable for the rest of your life)
2) Apply to a big big city with a lot of programs like doing EM in NYC with 13 programs. You are bound to match!
3) Kick butt in school and on the boards.
4) Discuss / figure out what cities you guys would like to end up at, and then during 4th yr do as many electives as possible in those places to maximize your chances of matching at those places.
5) Psych isnt nearly as competetive as the match except maybe FP, IM and Peds (and im not talking matching at JHU or CHOP). He needs to hold up his end of the bargain and do well in school get good recs and do well on whatever test they take, the GRE?
6) If things are meant to work out then they will. Keep in mind your 4th year you can do a lot of away rotations, so you guys can spend some time together.

Best of luck to you!
 
chameleonknight said:
Don't worry I'm sure you guys will break up before then. If he's a pyschologist he should know the most important factor in any relationship is geography.

Sometimes we have to make a choice: career or personal life? You can fit them together sometimes....sometimes not.

I guess someone on this board got burned!! :idea: :scared: :eek: :cool: :rolleyes:
 
There are a lot of ways to approach this and you should worry about it when you get there...

You can always take a year off (you will then know where your partner will be) and then apply in the city around him.

As long as he doesn't pick a city in BFE, you should be okay. there is flexibility in residency. You will decide what field and where you apply.. and you will decide your rank list... so, focus on school now, and worry about this later...
 
randomlogik said:
Gee...thanks for the optimism. I for one tend to have a little more faith. Especially since things are completely fine between us right now.

Don't listen to the bitter people. You know the situation best.
Samoa...I didn't realize that one could transfer residencies very easily. That will be something that I'll have to keep in mind.

Ectopic is right, I didn't mean to imply it was as easy as, say, finding a job in the city where you want to go. But transferring med schools is next to impossible, whereas with a little flexibility, transferring residencies CAN be done.

But I think he(she?) may be misinformed as to the competitiveness of clinical psychology grad programs. We had an outstanding one at my undergrad school, and I'd say the competition to get in was easily as intense as that for med school acceptance. (But the IM program there has difficulty attracting good US grads.)
 
Samoa, getting a residency where you want (esp a competetive one) makes getting into medical school look easy. I dont know much about clinical psych but I do know that getting a derm residency ANYWHERE is hard and near impossible throw in geography and good luck. If you take into account some of the more competetive specialties the success rate of those applying is around 50-75% that is irrespective of geography and after self selection is done. Anyways good luck to the OP. BTW I am a He...
 
I've been thinking lately that I might want to go into path or maybe radiology. Path has the benefit of not being as competitive, so I think that aspect has me drawn a bit more towards it. Of course, it really is something that I am interested in....not just because it isn't as competitive.
I quit thinking about it for now. After studying for tomorrow's exams....my brain feels pretty fried right now.
 
randomlogik said:
I know I shouldnt be stressing about this yet....but it's a good distractant from studying.
So here is my issue....In theory, I am going to applying to residency at roughly the same time as my boyfriend is applying to psychology grad school. I never realized how competitive grad school was! Apparently, it will be just as hard for him to get accepted as it was for me to get into med school. Right now we already live in different states (Louisiana/Idaho), so I feel that when I am a resident, we absolutely have to be living together. I don't think I could handle being apart for another 4 years! With everything being so competitive, how are we ever going to end up being accepted in the same city?! *sigh*

It shouldn't be too much of a problem as long as you both apply to major metropolitan areas. Excluding the more competitive specialites, an average MD student should be able to find a residency spot in most major cities. This isn't the case with fields like Rads though.
 
EctopicFetus said:
Samoa, getting a residency where you want (esp a competetive one) makes getting into medical school look easy. I dont know much about clinical psych but I do know that getting a derm residency ANYWHERE is hard and near impossible throw in geography and good luck. If you take into account some of the more competetive specialties the success rate of those applying is around 50-75% that is irrespective of geography and after self selection is done. Anyways good luck to the OP. BTW I am a He...

Yeah, but she didn't say anything (to me at least) about wanting a competitive specialty. And for those, the tough part is getting through the Match. If you've done that already, and a spot opens up somewhere else, then obviously you were qualified enough to match already in that specialty, and the question is simply, do they like you, and do they have any applicants they like better. The competition is not as intense (from what I gather, anyway).
 
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