Working Effectively with Turds the Likes of Which You're Unfamiliar

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dale.gribble

Rusty Shackleford
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We have all been in situations where it becomes evident that there are differences that cannot be assuaged and that we're stuck in a situation that's meant to be little more than a learning experience in how to work effectively when you'd rather give into your urges to express what you really think/feel. You know--those experiences where you realize that you're being presented with a level of crap the likes of which you've never seen, and/or people (professionals) who are, as the kids may say, more interested in trolling than anything else, even when you think you're old enough and at a high enough level of professionalism that your colleagues are beyond that.

What have you found to be best practices in these sorts of situations? How do you both maintain your effectiveness and professionalism, as well as your integrity, ego/reputation, and peace of mind? Particularly, how do you take the higher ground and be pleased by doing so when others are so fervently trying to pull you back down to a lower level?

Both personal and professional solutions are welcome, though I'm fairly pleased with the personal routes I take, which are mainly (a) off-color humor and (b) playing video games for a good hour or so, effectively requiring my mind to focus on something else.

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So you advocate unconditional positive regard, but refer to people as turds?
 
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So you advocate unconditional positive regard, but refer to people as turds?

He practices unconditional positive regard for his turds and thats about it.
 
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He practices unconditional positive regard for his turds and thats about it.
Excuse me, but I never claimed treat my own turds in such a fashion.

EDIT: Although, I must express a sort of appreciation for the willingness to make my point about trolls more poignant.
 
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Could you provide a working definition of "trolls?"
 
While I see a great deal of narcissism intertwined in your questions, I do understand your situation as I experience it on a weekly basis. If you are somehow "beyond" your colleagues, then you have to accept others are still learning and you were at their level at some point - so be patient. If talking to your supervisor/advisor is not helping your issue, I would simply suggest seeking therapy for yourself.
 
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Could you provide a working definition of "trolls?"
In the instance to which I'm referring, the working (key qualifier) definition is: one who argues (usually irrelevant and self-serving) points solely for the purpose of slowing/cheapening discourse and making themselves feel better by attempting to take shots at another. This could otherwise be defined by juxtaposing it against people who make earnest contributions irrespective of any differences or bad history they might have with others in the conversation. In sum, someone who can't let things go, and works feverishly to bring others down to their level of self-involved rumination.

While I see a great deal of narcissism intertwined in your questions, I do understand your situation as I experience it on a weekly basis. If you are somehow "beyond" your colleagues, then you have to accept others are still learning and you were at their level at some point - so be patient. If talking to your supervisor/advisor is not helping your issue, I would simply suggest seeking therapy for yourself.
I apologize if you're seeing narcissism, though I'm sure I get how you're taking that away; communicating a struggle to deal with difficult circumstances through a lens of sarcasm can muddy things. Also, I believe your misreading of a phrase may have led to this as well--I didn't suggest that I felt I was "beyond" others, I felt that my colleagues were well beyond the type of discourse to which they were resorting. Indeed, I'm not referring to people who are "under" me, I'm referring to people at an equal or greater level than me. Particularly the sorts of "trolling" tactics where time has passed, we're now onto a different topic, and they continue to bring this old history up for seemingly no other reason than to fuel the fire of an argument. In other words, we've all had experiences where we thought we'd experienced the height of how difficult some people can be to deal with, and then someone raises the bar, and so it's very challenging to deal with them effectively. So, beyond the obvious, how do others' approach the difficulty of dealing with colleagues who stonewall new discussions with old, long-past arguments and all but blatantly indicate that the only solution they'll accept is to travel back in time and force the interaction to go in their favor, and/or similar situations?
 
In the instance to which I'm referring, the working (key qualifier) definition is: one who argues (usually irrelevant and self-serving) points solely for the purpose of slowing/cheapening discourse and making themselves feel better by attempting to take shots at another. This could otherwise be defined by juxtaposing it against people who make earnest contributions irrespective of any differences or bad history they might have with others in the conversation. In sum, someone who can't let things go, and works feverishly to bring others down to their level of self-involved rumination.


I apologize if you're seeing narcissism, though I'm sure I get how you're taking that away; communicating a struggle to deal with difficult circumstances through a lens of sarcasm can muddy things. Also, I believe your misreading of a phrase may have led to this as well--I didn't suggest that I felt I was "beyond" others, I felt that my colleagues were well beyond the type of discourse to which they were resorting. Indeed, I'm not referring to people who are "under" me, I'm referring to people at an equal or greater level than me. Particularly the sorts of "trolling" tactics where time has passed, we're now onto a different topic, and they continue to bring this old history up for seemingly no other reason than to fuel the fire of an argument. In other words, we've all had experiences where we thought we'd experienced the height of how difficult some people can be to deal with, and then someone raises the bar, and so it's very challenging to deal with them effectively. So, beyond the obvious, how do others' approach the difficulty of dealing with colleagues who stonewall new discussions with old, long-past arguments and all but blatantly indicate that the only solution they'll accept is to travel back in time and force the interaction to go in their favor, and/or similar situations?

Are you the only one who notices this dynamic? Are you the only one its directed toward or is this "team" issue as well? Is it interfering with work productivity? What is your performance review process like? Do you have an OD or I/O consultant available for 360s?
 
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