Would you female doctors every date or marry a guy who wasn't a doctor? Likely?

[HughMyron]

And yet you'd like to go into medicine yourself, which is more likely than most careers to require you work 80+ hours per week, etc. What makes you think that you can value the things you value and still pursue a career as a physician, but a woman who does the same thing must necessarily value only money, ambition, and career advancement?

I wouldn't "like" to go into medicine, I've already been admitted, so at this point I'm going into medicine.

Anyways, I'm not interested in surgery. I'm interested in the lifestyle specialties, as is everyone else. If I can't make it into those, I'll look for a specialty that permits me to at least see my kids more than once a week.

Surgery is a place for workaholics. You can't be a workaholic and still value your family. There aren't enough hours in the day.

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[SpaceLeftBlank]

I wouldn't "like" to go into medicine, I've already been admitted, so at this point I'm going into medicine.

Anyways, I'm not interested in surgery. I'm interested in the lifestyle specialties, as is everyone else. If I can't make it into those, I'll look for a specialty that permits me to at least see my kids more than once a week.

Surgery is a place for workaholics. You can't be a workaholic and still value your family. There aren't enough hours in the day.

My wife's a surgeon. I assure you she sees us more than once a week. And she works hard, but working hard is not the same as being a workaholic. You can find workaholics anywhere, in any profession. You can also find people who work nine-to-five jobs who put a lot less effort into their family lives than we do. I have friends who had kids and never stopped going to concerts and "girls night out" and sporting events and hanging out with buddies at the bar--they just dump the kids at grandma's and go about their merry way. Some of them spend less time with their kids than we do with ours.

If you want to be there for your kids, you will, no matter what you end up doing for a living. No reasons to think you can't find a woman who feels the same way you do, no matter what she does for a living.

 

[akhim]

as a guy, i dont care how much a girl makes or her social status or how many degrees she has. as long as she has a nice butt, works out/stays fit, can put together a meal, and clean up after herself, then she can have my number.

 

[HughMyron]

as a guy, i dont care how much a girl makes or her social status or how many degrees she has. as long as she has a nice butt, works out/stays fit, can put together a meal, and clean up after herself, then she can have my number.

I agree. It's all about dat ass IMO.

 

[DatingADoc]

Glad this thread is still somewhat active in 2013...

I have the opposite problem from the OP. I'm a non-doc dating a future doc and beginning to think that I'm in for a bad time.

Completely agree with the poster below:

1. She's a brutal nagger. She also has this insufferable tendency to nag about things that she herself does chronically. We've not been dating for so long that I'd expect nagging either - she has to have set a record for how quickly the nagging has set in. (We're also distance, so you'd think she'd really have better things to talk about as well.)

2. She totally has a "my money is my money and his money is our money" attitude. She gets grumpy when I think of finances, but when its her money she'll get super tight.

3. She thinks that her busy career is an absolutely justifiable and acceptable sacrifice. My busy hours (worse hours and very unpredictable) however, are apparently 'inhuman' and 'non-sustainable' and I 'can't do that in the long run'. Further, I get asked 'don't I want to see my family'? (This is laughable considering her ideal path.)

4. Even saying this, she has little sympathy for a long day (not that I'm looking for it) if its me. If its her brother though (who works like 6am-8pm AT THE LONGEST) she spends so much time worrying about him. (He doesn't do anything particularly stressful.)

This is without getting into the fact that she claims to want kids, but is 35 now, graduating med school in another year, and wants to do a surgical residency. She'll be freaking menopausal before she's even done. Not to mention a surgeon is not exactly available to raise kids, let alone do much in the way of cooking or cleaning.

So yes, extremely self-centered, demanding, and irrational. I'd say to find a traditional girl like the poster below, but I have no idea where you'd find that these days.

Yes, I would have agreed with your two points when I was musing about this in theory. I now know from personal experience that an MD doesn't guarantee these things or some of the other benefits you might expect from having a wife who is also a doctor. My experience:

Physician wife means she's stressed out more at work, more likely to be demanding self-centered and affection seeking at home

She may cognitively realize that anything she is experiencing, you're going through in your own work but her needs are still her needs, while u as a man are likely to just suck it up and compartmentalize your own stress

Money? Would have thought a fellow female physician with nearly exactly the same salary would be less likely to demand uneven spending in her favor according to laws of chivalry.... Wrong! Have you ever heard "my money is my money and his money is our money"?

You really are better off finding a traditional girl who doesn't make much. Youre going to pay anyway, at least this way your wife might actually help or do her fair share of household work while you make the big money outside the home and she is likely to see your career as a priority and treat you right.

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

These things have nothing to do with people in medicine... I don't do them, neither do my other female classmates or attending friends...

Btw, almost all of my female classmates and attending friends are married to non-medical people, one of them has 6 kids and her husband stays home....

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Glad this thread is still somewhat active in 2013...

I have the opposite problem from the OP. I'm a non-doc dating a future doc and beginning to think that I'm in for a bad time.

Completely agree with the poster below:

1. She's a brutal nagger. She also has this insufferable tendency to nag about things that she herself does chronically. We've not been dating for so long that I'd expect nagging either - she has to have set a record for how quickly the nagging has set in. (We're also distance, so you'd think she'd really have better things to talk about as well.)

2. She totally has a "my money is my money and his money is our money" attitude. She gets grumpy when I think of finances, but when its her money she'll get super tight.

3. She thinks that her busy career is an absolutely justifiable and acceptable sacrifice. My busy hours (worse hours and very unpredictable) however, are apparently 'inhuman' and 'non-sustainable' and I 'can't do that in the long run'. Further, I get asked 'don't I want to see my family'? (This is laughable considering her ideal path.)

4. Even saying this, she has little sympathy for a long day (not that I'm looking for it) if its me. If its her brother though (who works like 6am-8pm AT THE LONGEST) she spends so much time worrying about him. (He doesn't do anything particularly stressful.)

This is without getting into the fact that she claims to want kids, but is 35 now, graduating med school in another year, and wants to do a surgical residency. She'll be freaking menopausal before she's even done. Not to mention a surgeon is not exactly available to raise kids, let alone do much in the way of cooking or cleaning.

So yes, extremely self-centered, demanding, and irrational. I'd say to find a traditional girl like the poster below, but I have no idea where you'd find that these days.

None of these are inherent qualities of being a female in medical school. You could replace "she" with "he" at almost ANY of those sentences minus the menopause mention.

ANYONE, male or female, who acts the way you describe is simply being a jerk. And I can guarantee there are just as male douches in medicine as female. She's not being "a nontraditional woman" - she's simply being a bitch. The problems you listed above (being nagging, uncaring, self-centered) are individual personality traits (and not good ones), not descriptive terms of all women in medicine.

There are plenty of women in professional school who are not the raging bitch you describe. Don't let one person color your opinion of an entire demographic.

I totally get that some men that want stay-at-home wives (or at least wives that do not have strenuous careers). There is nothing wrong with that in the least. I have nothing but the utmost respect for SAHMs and the like. Compromise is the cornerstone of ANY relationship, and if either of the two parties involved are unwilling to do it, it won't work. This includes compromise on the man's side as well as the woman, depending on both of their careers. If you don't want to make certain compromises or prefer certain things, that's totally your decision. But stereotyping all women who are pursuing a career in medicine as nasty, uncaring hags simply because you dated one is pretty unfair.

 

[K31]

None of these are inherent qualities of being a female in medical school. You could replace "she" with "he" at almost ANY of those sentences minus the menopause mention.

Agreed that there is nothing gender-specific about the behavior being described here, but I think being inconsiderate of how hard your SO is working is extremely common among med students. We are told so often how hard we have to work and how important what we are doing is that many start to think nobody in the outside world could possibly understand how hard we work. I think this is especially common among those who went straight from high school to college to med school, never held a full-time job, and don't understand that there are many professions out there with just as much of a time committment as medicine.

 

[amw385]

SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!

I am a medical student and my significant other is a photographer. What makes him a good fit for me is the fact that he is 100% supportive of my career goals and never let's me feel guilty for what I need to do to achieve my goals. At the end of the day it's not what your career is, how much money you make, or what your credentials are, it's whether you are able to respect what we need to do for our careers. Understand that being with a doctor/med student is not easy. You need to be independent and self actualized in your own life, and understand that when we are busy/cranky/tired its not about you, it's because we love what we do and it is an integral part of who we are. The caveat to that is medical students can't expect their SOs to also be entirely devoted to serving their needs, and understand that their SOs need to take care of themselves as well. We also need to be able to separate our frustrations with school/work from our feelings about home.

It helps that he is able to help out at home with things like laundry, cleaning, cooking, and will one day be the primary care giver for the kids, but if that wasn't the case we would still work because he is completely supportive of what I am doing, and I respect that his career is as important to him as medicine is to me.

All of that said, med students have to be reasonable and patient as well. My SO can have insane hours too and I have to remind myself that if I expect him to put up with my hours, I have to put up with his. If I have a little bit of breathing room and he is super busy, I do as much as I can to help him out as well.

 

[amw385]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind marrying a wealthy heiress, then getting the money when her dad dies.


That's about it though. If I were a teacher or something, I would feel really bad about marrying a female doctor. She would probably resent me too, thinking of me as some kind of parasite who lives off her salary.

I don't think that a marriage can work out when a woman makes significantly more than the man. I feel really sad to say that, but let's be honest here. Society prizes men with money and status. If you have less of that than your wife, then people will think you're a loser, and your wife will eventually start to think that way too.

This is why being a stay-at-home mom is totally fine, but being a stay-at-home dad is seen as a mark of shame.

This is the most offensive thing I've read in a long time. My mother has a higher level of education (PhD vs MA) and makes double my fathers income. We moved 3 times for her career, and she often traveled internationally when I was young. (Ie- to china for 6 weeks at a time) and my father was a stay at home dad taking ca of 3 young children while working on his MA (which was paid for because of my moms position as a faculty member at the university). My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and have always had an incredibly open, honest, and healthy relationship. Further, I was lucky to have such an amazing role model as a mother who showed me I could do/be what ever I wanted even in a world of people with opinions like yours. My brother treats women with respect and is successful in his own right.

My mother has never once resented my father for being a "parasite" and has been incredibly grateful to him for being the primary caregiver to her children (I assume most men with stay at home wives feel the same way).

Your views of the world is absolutely archaic. I would be incredibly lucky and grateful if my SO gave up fashion photography to raise our children when the time comes,but would never demand this of him (as no man should ever demand this of his wife).

 

[touchpause13]

This is the most offensive thing I've read in a long time. My mother has a higher level of education (PhD vs MA) and makes double my fathers income. We moved 3 times for her career, and she often traveled internationally when I was young. (Ie- to china for 6 weeks at a time) and my father was a stay at home dad taking ca of 3 young children while working on his MA (which was paid for because of my moms position as a faculty member at the university). My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and have always had an incredibly open, honest, and healthy relationship. Further, I was lucky to have such an amazing role model as a mother who showed me I could do/be what ever I wanted even in a world of people with opinions like yours. My brother treats women with respect and is successful in his own right.

My mother has never once resented my father for being a "parasite" and has been incredibly grateful to him for being the primary caregiver to her children (I assume most men with stay at home wives feel the same way).

Your views of the world is absolutely archaic. I would be incredibly lucky and grateful if my SO gave up fashion photography to raise our children when the time comes,but would never demand this of him (as no man should ever demand this of his wife).

+1000
Thank you for sharing this, your mama must be so proud of you and you really did have a great role model!

And yeah that previous post was realllllllly bad even by sdn standards

Sent from my SCH-I405 using SDN Mobile

 

[primatevetjess]

I disagree with so much of this thread... I will receive my DVM in June and after that I'm entering a 3 year residency program and will hopefully be board certified. My education credentials will be B.S., DVM, DACLAM. My husband does not have any degrees. He's a writer and an actor. I fell in love with him because of his personality, passion for life, motivation, etc. He is the most supportive and understanding person I've ever met, and actually encouraged me to pursue vet school when I wasn't sure I could do it. He has absolutely no issue with the fact that I will almost surely always make more money than him. He has no issue with the fact that I have multiple degrees and he doesn't have a one. When the time comes, he will be a stay at home dad. I cannot imagine a better childhood for my future children.

It doesn't take going to school and earning a degree to make someone driven, motivated, and intelligent. My husband has all of those qualities. I hate when people say that a potential mate has to have at least a B.S. because they want to be able to have an intelligent conversation... my husband and I have wonderful, thoughtful, intelligent conversation all the time. And yet he doesn't have a degree *GASP*. He loves science and technology and discovery, history and anthropology (he knows WAY more about those last two than I do), but his talent and passion are in more creative endeavors. That doesn't make him a loser or less prestigious than me.

 

[DatingADoc]

None of these are inherent qualities of being a female in medical school. You could replace "she" with "he" at almost ANY of those sentences minus the menopause mention.

ANYONE, male or female, who acts the way you describe is simply being a jerk. And I can guarantee there are just as male douches in medicine as female. She's not being "a nontraditional woman" - she's simply being a bitch. The problems you listed above (being nagging, uncaring, self-centered) are individual personality traits (and not good ones), not descriptive terms of all women in medicine.

There are plenty of women in professional school who are not the raging bitch you describe. Don't let one person color your opinion of an entire demographic.

I totally get that some men that want stay-at-home wives (or at least wives that do not have strenuous careers). There is nothing wrong with that in the least. I have nothing but the utmost respect for SAHMs and the like. Compromise is the cornerstone of ANY relationship, and if either of the two parties involved are unwilling to do it, it won't work. This includes compromise on the man's side as well as the woman, depending on both of their careers. If you don't want to make certain compromises or prefer certain things, that's totally your decision. But stereotyping all women who are pursuing a career in medicine as nasty, uncaring hags simply because you dated one is pretty unfair.

Mea culpa - you are absolutely right. I'm venting about a bad situation - which is a sample size of one. I read the previous description, which matched my experience and shouldn't have generalized it to all women in medical school. Looking at it two weeks later (like I said, I work a lot), I can't believe I had this much of a knee jerk reaction, but it's a reflection of the fact that I have genuine feelings for her - but she had an underlying motive and the whole thing is unlikely to work out.

 

[hedgehogcatcher]

I married a guy who is currently a construction worker (although is looking for a future job in a business) He went to college for 2.5 years, dropped out, found a good job.

He works hard, does nice things for me, supports me 100%, wants the same lifestyle. He's not rich but we are happy living small, and his job is easier to leave and find another when I go to vet school. That's a really big sacrifice that I appreciate, and that he's happy to make for me because he says, he already has all the important things. Bless him.
I'm living the dream

 

[ShortDoctor]

If you are tall and have a job, you are golden. That's all women really care about anyway from my experiences.

 

[studentp0x]

Attractive female doctor? lol.....

 

[Laryngophed]

If you are tall and have a job, you are golden. That's all women really care about anyway from my experiences.

 

[studentp0x]

If you are tall and have a job, you are golden. That's all women really care about anyway from my experiences.

My tall bros who have jobs say differently.

 

[thefritz]

From what I've seen, women in general seem more concerned with a guy's education and career than the other way around. You don't see very many female doctors dating and marrying carpenters, auto mechanics, male nurses, bank tellers, soldiers, bus drivers, etc. But you see plenty of male doctors dating and marrying nurses, teachers, secretaries, part-time workers, and even women who never went to college and just stay at home all day. I have seen this in the female doctors in my family. They complain about not being able to get dates but refuse to date anybody who did not go to a good college and isn't in a professional career. It's not about money, but it is very unusual for a female MD to end up with a blue collar type. It's probably an evolutionary thing -- they want their children to be smart and be successful. The fallacy is that there are lots of smart hardworking ethical blue collar guys out there and lots of idiotic a-holes who got ahead in life through nepotism and trust funds. Don't judge a book by its cover, ladies.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

You don't see very many female doctors dating and marrying carpenters, auto mechanics, male nurses, bank tellers, soldiers, bus drivers, etc. But you see plenty of male doctors dating and marrying nurses, teachers, secretaries, part-time workers, and even women who never went to college and just stay at home all day.

No offense, but the only reason that works is because men DO judge a book by its cover. Most guys would not mind dating a secretary who is smoking hot because ...she's hot. That's all we're thinking, not "oh, well, in my deep analysis of her, I can determine that she has excellent character and blah blah blah." Know what I mean? Whereas a female physician has to find a guy who thinks she's hot and/or rich AND she has to think he's a great guy. If a woman is hot enough, guys don't care if she's great or not.

 

[studentp0x]

From what I've seen, women in general seem more concerned with a guy's education and career than the other way around. You don't see very many female doctors dating and marrying carpenters, auto mechanics, male nurses, bank tellers, soldiers, bus drivers, etc. But you see plenty of male doctors dating and marrying nurses, teachers, secretaries, part-time workers, and even women who never went to college and just stay at home all day. I have seen this in the female doctors in my family. They complain about not being able to get dates but refuse to date anybody who did not go to a good college and isn't in a professional career. It's not about money, but it is very unusual for a female MD to end up with a blue collar type. It's probably an evolutionary thing -- they want their children to be smart and be successful. The fallacy is that there are lots of smart hardworking ethical blue collar guys out there and lots of idiotic a-holes who got ahead in life through nepotism and trust funds. Don't judge a book by its cover, ladies.

Cause female doctors think they should be desirable but when you're a 4-5/10, it's hard to attract a highly successful male.

 

[studentp0x]

No offense, but the only reason that works is because men DO judge a book by its cover. Most guys would not mind dating a secretary who is smoking hot because ...she's hot. That's all we're thinking, not "oh, well, in my deep analysis of her, I can determine that she has excellent character and blah blah blah." Know what I mean? Whereas a female physician has to find a guy who thinks she's hot and/or rich AND she has to think he's a great guy. If a woman is hot enough, guys don't care if she's great or not.

Well seeing as how sex is the primary motive behind relationships in general, and your partner being more attractive = more enjoyable sex, it all makes sense.
Attractive women definitely do judge men based on looks first as well... you'll find the real hotties are with attractive AND successful men. A lot of the average looking docs/lawyers/business people/dentists etc I've seen (who make 200-400k/year) are with average looking women who have decent jobs.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Well seeing as how sex is the primary motive behind relationships in general, and your partner being more attractive = more enjoyable sex, it all makes sense.
Attractive women definitely do judge men based on looks first as well... you'll find the real hotties are with attractive AND successful men. A lot of the average looking docs/lawyers/business people/dentists etc I've seen (who make 200-400k/year) are with average looking women who have decent jobs.

The primary motive behind men and women being physically attracted to each other is sex. The primary motive behind relationships (ie committed partnerships, not FWB and that stuff) is companionship. Sex is indeed a very important component, but it isn't (and shouldn't be, or else the relationship has no foundation) the primary.

And someone being more attractive does not necessarily equal better sex, not by a long shot. Having a pretty face and nice body in no way automatically makes you a good lover.

 

[studentp0x]

The primary motive behind men and women being physically attracted to each other is sex. The primary motive behind relationships (ie committed partnerships, not FWB and that stuff) is companionship. Sex is indeed a very important component, but it isn't (and shouldn't be, or else the relationship has no foundation) the primary.

And someone being more attractive does not necessarily equal better sex, not by a long shot. Having a pretty face and nice body in no way automatically makes you a good lover.

Than why even consider attraction and loyalty among MANY other things? Just live with someone you get along with and disregard everything else, if it's primarily for companionship.
I'm not saying sex is the foundation of a proper relationship, I'm just saying attraction/sex are the primary reasons we seek out the opposite sex.

And I don't think I worded myself correctly. You need to be attracted to someone to have a good sexual experience. Unless you're into fat chicks, you won't enjoy banging a fat chick. And unless you have a weird fetish, you as a girl won't enjoy banging an ugly dude or a fat dude or whatever. So being attractive creates the potential for a good sexual experience, in other words.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Something being a primary motive does not dismiss other important secondary facets such as loyalty; I think you're intentionally simplifying my argument.

And yes, I agree with attraction being necessary for good sex, obviously. But like you said, it only creates a potential, not always an actual. Not uncommonly, attractive people don't think they have to try in bed simply because they are attractive.

 

[studentp0x]

Something being a primary motive does not dismiss other important secondary facets such as loyalty; I think you're intentionally simplifying my argument.

And yes, I agree with attraction being necessary for good sex, obviously. But like you said, it only creates a potential, not always an actual. Not uncommonly, attractive people don't think they have to try in bed simply because they are attractive.

I was looking at the primary motive only, we seek out members of the opposite sex due to biological urges to have sex (to procreate).
This is the foundation of any blossoming relationship.

And yea... I agree. Though having had a variety of experiences, a 9/10 who's average in bed > 6/10 who's amazing in bed.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

It's probably different for men because y'all are much more easy to get off (no offense, but it's true for the most part) so female skill/receptiveness/creativity is less important. As a woman, I'll take a creative 6/10 (obviously someone I'm still attracted to, I just put numbers here for the sake of argument) who can push all my buttons over a 9/10 who just mindlessly jackhammers away any day. Sex is an important form of bonding and bad sex will inevitably lead to bad relationship.

 

[studentp0x]

It's probably different for men because y'all are much more easy to get off (no offense, but it's true for the most part) so female skill/receptiveness/creativity is less important. As a woman, I'll take a creative 6/10 (obviously someone I'm still attracted to, I just put numbers here for the sake of argument) who can push all my buttons over a 9/10 who just mindlessly jackhammers away any day. Sex is an important form of bonding and bad sex will inevitably lead to bad relationship.

Hmm.. I suppose I agree. Can't fully agree since I'm the complete opposite of what you described (easy to get off), but for most people that's true.
Truth remains, how the guy performs matters more than how the woman performs. Not by a lot.. but still.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

It's probably different for men because y'all are much more easy to get off

This would be more insulting if it wasn't true.

 

[ctcell]

What is interesting is that most of the people did not read OP's question carefully. OP is asking if a female doctor is likely to marry a guy who WASN'T doctor. Who was a doctor at birth? We became doctor after medical school. So the answer is clearly yes: they date/marry current doctors.
Regarding all the female responders here who said that they don't mind dating non-doctors, most of them are still looking for intelligent hard-working guy as they mentioned. And male doctors are more likely to fall into this catagory. So the word "doctor" in this thread is just a symbol of this type of person based on my understanding. Although female doctors are near/at the top of social ladder, they are still subconsciously trying to climb the ladder (at least prevent falling down) through marriage.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

This discussion is wholly theoretical, which is why the thread is so pointless. In other words, it's like how people are telling me to relax my standards. The optimal man for a woman would be physically attractive, successful, hard-working, honest, loyal, and funny. We all know that. But the point is women aren't meeting that guy. So they're willing to compromise on certain characteristics. The question is "how far are you willing to compromise?" Most things are not "compromisable" (that's a word I just made up). You can't be "sort" of honest (although, let's be honest here, women are willing to be lied to, to a certain extent, too). One of the things they can compromise on is "how successful is the guy?" What they are trying to say in this thread is that if the guy is 100% on everything else, then he could be a pan-handler for all they care -- the hot, honest, loyal pan-handler that doesn't exist, but it's theoretical. What the guys are saying is that the guy is not going to be 100% on everything else. He's not going to be the brainaic underwear model pan-handler. So the guys here are asking about the average guy. If a guy who lied to you sometimes and was sort of lazy and was sort of half-assed about helping out around the house also happened to be a blue-collar worker, would a female physician go for him? The answer is: depends on how desperate she is. It's like how some guys are telling the other dude to go for a prostitute. The question is rarely about a firm line that a person has. It's usually about how desperate you are.

In general, no female physician dreams about marrying the carpenter. She may marry one, but what the guys mean is that she used to think that she'd be marrying some other guy and they'd be some power couple that "had it all." The woman says "yeah, but I married a carpenter" and the man says "yeah, but that wasn't who you were dreaming of." Both sides mean different things.

 

[Kahreek]

I wouldnt mind dating anyone as long she is my soulmate.

 

[cardiacphysiol]

It is not easy to find someone with impeccable character qualities, (extremely kind, genuine, loyal, etc.) just as it is not easy to find someone highly successful. Women compromise all the time on either end, depending on their priorities.

 

[EMDO2018]

I think my standards have been too high all these years. I just wanted a smart, decent, good looking woman. I can compromise on the looks. I cant compromise on the smart or decent. Problem is nowadays, pretty girls are a dime a dozen, but finding girls that have list of positive character traits is hard. Maybe its hard to be decent.

 

[studentp0x]

I think my standards have been too high all these years. I just wanted a smart, decent, good looking woman. I can compromise on the looks. I cant compromise on the smart or decent. Problem is nowadays, pretty girls are a dime a dozen, but finding girls that have list of positive character traits is hard. Maybe its hard to be decent.

Find a pretty girl with good morals and some compatibility with you. Anything else is a bonus.

 

[that redhead]

Find a pretty girl with good morals and some compatibility with you. Anything else is a bonus.

Except he says he'd prefer intelligence > looks. So really, he should find a smart girl who doesn't look totally objectionable and go from there.

 

[EMDO2018]

Except he says he'd prefer intelligence > looks. So really, he should find a smart girl who doesn't look totally objectionable and go from there.

lol this is how I tend to go about things. She has to be smart and have similar beliefs.

 

[CristinaMed]

SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!

Yes, I have and still am dating someone who isn't one of those listed professionals in your post. Money is ephemeral...However, a person's moral character and personality rarely changes.

 

[PhilipH]

I started dating my wife about a year before she entered Medical School. It was all about the chemistry/connection we had beforehand and the help and support going through medical school and residency. She's definitely not uptight about money, which can be good or bad LOL. Anyway, from what I've seen marriages between doctors and non-doctors during medical school and residency have been more common then dr/dr marriages. It's all about the relationship and chemistry.

 

[studentp0x]

lol this is how I tend to go about things. She has to be smart and have similar beliefs.

ah it's more or less finding someone who's about the same as you. If you're smart and average looking, then it is ideal to find someone who's smart and average looking. Still important that she has good morals though.

 

[Kale01]

I'm not a doctor, but in another one of those professions and I'm in a relationship with a guy who is also in my profession. We met in grad school so we have the same education. It's probably easier dating someone in your profession since you can discuss work without boring the other person to death (as much). I would, however, date a guy who is at least college educated in another profession , including one who doesn't make as much money as me as long as he treats me well (including cooks for me, etc.).

As for the finance discussion, although we live together, we have separate accounts, split the bills, etc. so money is not normally an issue. I make more money right now, but his family is very wealthy so in future he'll probably have a lot more money than me. Having separate accounts, splitting 50/50 makes everything easier imo.

 

[studentp0x]

I'm not a doctor, but in another one of those professions and I'm in a relationship with a guy who is also in my profession. We met in grad school so we have the same education. It's probably easier dating someone in your profession since you can discuss work without boring the other person to death (as much). I would, however, date a guy who is at least college educated in another profession , including one who doesn't make as much money as me as long as he treats me well (including cooks for me, etc.).

As for the finance discussion, although we live together, we have separate accounts, split the bills, etc. so money is not normally an issue. I make more money right now, but his family is very wealthy so in future he'll probably have a lot more money than me. Having separate accounts, splitting 50/50 makes everything easier imo.

This. Seperate accounts are key.

 

[VenusinFurs]

Having to talk about work after work is probably the reason I wouldn't date a doctor.

 

[jakeislove]

Cause female doctors think they should be desirable but when you're a 4-5/10, it's hard to attract a highly successful male.

I see a ton of overweight MSIVs with attitude.

 

[Mel Belle]

I've been with my current boyfriend for several years and we've talked about marriage. He's a history teacher. Do I care that I will make significantly more than him assuming I make it to the MD/PhD career I'm working towards? Not really. Because he's not the kind of person that would force me to pay for things if I were to have such a large salary. To me, money is irrelevant if the relationship isn't solid.

I have thought about it, though, and the only reason I would ever consider marrying a doctor specifically is if I were to get into a specialty like neurosurgery, where one has very little time at home. The fact that being a neurosurgeon might leave little room for a personal life is why I don't really consider it as an interest anymore. But if I were to be married to a neurosurgeon in the same practice, that might be tolerable. However, the chances of that actually happening are extremely slim, so I don't even bother with it.

But, of course, if my current relationship doesn't work out for some reason and I find someone in medicine I am very compatible with, I would go for it. The career is pretty irrelevant to me. It's the person that matters.

 

[amazing tekkers]

Probably the way I was raised but I want a decent girl with good morals that values family. I don't even think looks would matter. Although i'm easily swayed by any woman that takes interest in me.

 

[DifferentialDiagnosis]

He would have to show an equal amount of ambition and talent in whatever field he was in, regardless if that's medicine or not.
That being said, I don't see how I wouldn't fall for someone I see every day, and that most likely will be another doctor.

 

[luaylu]

i'm marrying a lawyer this summer
edit - a lawyer who wants to help others. i'm gonna be the breadwinner, and that's ideal for me, since i'm bossy (sorry sheryl sandberg)

 

[luaylu]

as a guy, i dont care how much a girl makes or her social status or how many degrees she has. as long as she has a nice butt, works out/stays fit, can put together a meal, and clean up after herself, then she can have my number.

you sound HOT msg me 4 number

 

[ThomasLodi]

They say love is blind, that would make love not blind if they only kept those types of windows open. Sometimes when you limit your selections, those aren't always the best for you! So in a simpler answer, No, they shouldn't restrict themselves to a certain profession. Love someone for who they are, and not what they do.