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First let me apologize to everyone that already submitted their AMCAS applications. Yes, it's late June, this is too late to help those of you that got your stuff in early. That said... STOP READING HERE IF YOU HAVE ALREADY SUBMITTED. There's no sense in looking for mistakes/beating yourself up if you've already pulled the trigger.
Second, I am doing this as a service to Pre-Allo, drawing on the statements I have read over the past few years and the many mistakes I made composing my own personal statement(s). Unfortunately, I do not have time to edit personal statements this year. If you contact me, I will have to politely refuse... just telling you now.
On to the issue at hand.
I know most of you are scientists, not writers. But you should still be able to pull off some of these basics.
Themes
A personal statement works best if it has some unifying element to pull it together. This doesn't have to be an overt parable, just something simple that you can allude to in your intro and conclusion showing a nice point A->B flow of ideas.
A rudimentary example of this would be equating your path to medicine to a growing child and your significant experiences developmental milestones (like learning to talk, going to school, etc. with medicine being your final destination and the child striking out on his/her own.) Side note: Don't do what I did (I'm not even linking you to it), that was a bit of a 3rd round Hail Mary that paid off.
Intro and conclusion
I was always one for the flashy hook intro. But there's a fine line between a hook and melodrama. It's ok to draw the reader into a scene using descriptive and vibrant language, but make sure what you're discussing is worth the attention it's getting. Basically, don't try to make a papercut sound like a severed artery.
Conclusion, refer to the theme you set up in your intro and restate your answer to the "why medicine?" question (which you answered through the body of the personal statement) using your thematic imagery.
What should you be discussing?
This is where most pre-meds start missing the mark. Your personal statement is supposed to demonstrate your personal motivation for a career in medicine. You should answer the "why medicine?" question and give your best support possible. What many, many, many pre-meds do is fall into the Extra-Curricular trap. Rather than discussing why they are motivated to pursue medicine they simply state that they are motivated and then start talking about their extra-curricular activities. (I've done it, and it happened frequently in statements I helped edit) If the EC shows up in your ECs section and you talked about it there, there's no need to talk about the details of what you did in your personal statement. I'm pretty sure performing bench research counting drosophila did little to help your motivation to become a physician, don't throw in a line telling me it did just so you can remind me about that 4 weeks of research experience you've got.
you want to cut anything that does not directly address the following:
This doesn't mean your ECs are off limits, it just means that you should discuss specific experiences that actually affected your motivation. It's better to use a single detailed example and illustrate how it drove you to medicine than to try to say you did X here which made you want to be a doc, then did Y there which made you want to be a doc, etc.
Other Mistakes:
-You are a pre-med. In general it is a bad idea to tell the admissions committee what makes a good Med Student/Doctor. You may identify your own positive qualities and say they will help you, but don't start defining what makes a good "doctor" that's their job.
-Don't belittle yourself. Your personal statement is a time to show your good qualities, if you must address negative aspects of your application, do so, but watch for passive and negative wording that hurts the way you represent yourself.
-Don't bash other schools/teachers/doctors/etc. This is a big no-no. You may have disagreements with another institution/party but the best way to handle this situation is to objectively present the facts and let the admissions committee draw their own conclusions. If you start criticizing an institution, it makes them wonder if you'd criticize them like that after you leave their school. Not a huge incentive to accept you.
-Don't work other agendas. "Why Medicine?" is enough. You can mention an interest in research or other career goals (public health, etc) if you want to perform that, but don't spend a paragraph talking about socialized medicine, abortion, stem cell reseach, or other issues in medicine that do not directly affect your application.
-Try to keep an open mind. It's fine to have an inkling of what you might want to do after you graduate, but be aware of the fact that you'll probably change your mind a few times in med school. It would be unwise to base your personal statement on a career goal of pediatric cardio-thoracic surgery.
-Recognize your own self-unimportance. This goes along with the papercut comment above, don't portray your role to be anything more significant than what it was. People weren't looking to you with awe and heart-felt gratitude after you gave them a band-aid.
-Previous mistakes:
If you've made mistakes previously, own up to them and take responsibility. Don't try to blame someone else or something else. You want to show that you've moved on and matured. Don't try to make excuses.
-Cliches:
Yes, avoid making cliche statements, but you don't need to pretend you're going into medicine because you think your reasons might be cliche. Most pre-meds are motivated for the same reasons (wanting to help people, love science, early experience with medicine, etc). You don't need a unique reason, just try to discuss it in a way that is unique as possible.
Other Advice:
Wording:
-Don't use the word "fascinating". Probably 80% of statements I reviewed last year used it, very cliched and got to be vomit inducing.
Technical:
-just use a single line between paragraphs, don't try to indent
-don't use more than 1 space between sentences (no one will notice and this is a huge character saver)
-re-read it for any sentences that could be re-worded more efficiently, then have someone else do it. Brevity is key.
Reads:
-Get your PS into as many hands as possible before you submit it, have your mom, brother, school's writing center, adviser, dog, everyone look at it if possible. You want good, honest feedback from multiple sources.
Here's the 2008-2009 Personal Statement reader's thread:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=332624
Other sources of PS advice, the Official PS Guide:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=375844
I'll edit in more advice if any occurs to me. If anyone else has thoughts, feel free to contribute.
Second, I am doing this as a service to Pre-Allo, drawing on the statements I have read over the past few years and the many mistakes I made composing my own personal statement(s). Unfortunately, I do not have time to edit personal statements this year. If you contact me, I will have to politely refuse... just telling you now.
On to the issue at hand.
I know most of you are scientists, not writers. But you should still be able to pull off some of these basics.
Themes
A personal statement works best if it has some unifying element to pull it together. This doesn't have to be an overt parable, just something simple that you can allude to in your intro and conclusion showing a nice point A->B flow of ideas.
A rudimentary example of this would be equating your path to medicine to a growing child and your significant experiences developmental milestones (like learning to talk, going to school, etc. with medicine being your final destination and the child striking out on his/her own.) Side note: Don't do what I did (I'm not even linking you to it), that was a bit of a 3rd round Hail Mary that paid off.
Intro and conclusion
I was always one for the flashy hook intro. But there's a fine line between a hook and melodrama. It's ok to draw the reader into a scene using descriptive and vibrant language, but make sure what you're discussing is worth the attention it's getting. Basically, don't try to make a papercut sound like a severed artery.
Conclusion, refer to the theme you set up in your intro and restate your answer to the "why medicine?" question (which you answered through the body of the personal statement) using your thematic imagery.
What should you be discussing?
This is where most pre-meds start missing the mark. Your personal statement is supposed to demonstrate your personal motivation for a career in medicine. You should answer the "why medicine?" question and give your best support possible. What many, many, many pre-meds do is fall into the Extra-Curricular trap. Rather than discussing why they are motivated to pursue medicine they simply state that they are motivated and then start talking about their extra-curricular activities. (I've done it, and it happened frequently in statements I helped edit) If the EC shows up in your ECs section and you talked about it there, there's no need to talk about the details of what you did in your personal statement. I'm pretty sure performing bench research counting drosophila did little to help your motivation to become a physician, don't throw in a line telling me it did just so you can remind me about that 4 weeks of research experience you've got.
you want to cut anything that does not directly address the following:
- intro
- "why medicine?"
- support for "why medicine?"
- any problems/gaps in education along the way that really should be addressed in PS
- conclusion
This doesn't mean your ECs are off limits, it just means that you should discuss specific experiences that actually affected your motivation. It's better to use a single detailed example and illustrate how it drove you to medicine than to try to say you did X here which made you want to be a doc, then did Y there which made you want to be a doc, etc.
Other Mistakes:
-You are a pre-med. In general it is a bad idea to tell the admissions committee what makes a good Med Student/Doctor. You may identify your own positive qualities and say they will help you, but don't start defining what makes a good "doctor" that's their job.
-Don't belittle yourself. Your personal statement is a time to show your good qualities, if you must address negative aspects of your application, do so, but watch for passive and negative wording that hurts the way you represent yourself.
-Don't bash other schools/teachers/doctors/etc. This is a big no-no. You may have disagreements with another institution/party but the best way to handle this situation is to objectively present the facts and let the admissions committee draw their own conclusions. If you start criticizing an institution, it makes them wonder if you'd criticize them like that after you leave their school. Not a huge incentive to accept you.
-Don't work other agendas. "Why Medicine?" is enough. You can mention an interest in research or other career goals (public health, etc) if you want to perform that, but don't spend a paragraph talking about socialized medicine, abortion, stem cell reseach, or other issues in medicine that do not directly affect your application.
-Try to keep an open mind. It's fine to have an inkling of what you might want to do after you graduate, but be aware of the fact that you'll probably change your mind a few times in med school. It would be unwise to base your personal statement on a career goal of pediatric cardio-thoracic surgery.
-Recognize your own self-unimportance. This goes along with the papercut comment above, don't portray your role to be anything more significant than what it was. People weren't looking to you with awe and heart-felt gratitude after you gave them a band-aid.
-Previous mistakes:
If you've made mistakes previously, own up to them and take responsibility. Don't try to blame someone else or something else. You want to show that you've moved on and matured. Don't try to make excuses.
-Cliches:
Yes, avoid making cliche statements, but you don't need to pretend you're going into medicine because you think your reasons might be cliche. Most pre-meds are motivated for the same reasons (wanting to help people, love science, early experience with medicine, etc). You don't need a unique reason, just try to discuss it in a way that is unique as possible.
Other Advice:
Wording:
-Don't use the word "fascinating". Probably 80% of statements I reviewed last year used it, very cliched and got to be vomit inducing.
Technical:
-just use a single line between paragraphs, don't try to indent
-don't use more than 1 space between sentences (no one will notice and this is a huge character saver)
-re-read it for any sentences that could be re-worded more efficiently, then have someone else do it. Brevity is key.
Reads:
-Get your PS into as many hands as possible before you submit it, have your mom, brother, school's writing center, adviser, dog, everyone look at it if possible. You want good, honest feedback from multiple sources.
Here's the 2008-2009 Personal Statement reader's thread:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=332624
Other sources of PS advice, the Official PS Guide:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=375844
I'll edit in more advice if any occurs to me. If anyone else has thoughts, feel free to contribute.
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