LOR mentions my parents!

usermike8500 · Oct 2, 2012

A physician I worked with was kind enough to write an LOR for me. Unfortunately, she is friends with my parents and mentioned something along the lines of this in the LOR, "I knew this student's mom and dad personally, they are terrific physicians... I have no doubt that this student will make a great physician too etc"

This LOR writer is affiliated with a program that i would love to attend for residency, so i feel like this letter may be a big help to me in showing that I am familiar with the program and have a special interest in it. But on the other hand, i don't want to seem like I'm resorting to nepotism here... or that i'm some tool who needs his parents' help at the age of 30 in order to get a job.

What do you think, will this letter help or hurt me? Should I include it?

Thanks for your input

inmyslumber · Oct 2, 2012

I would think this is a weak letter. If she worked with you, she should know you will be a great physician from that interaction - not because of your parents.

Perhaps you can ask her to rewrite the letter. Otherwise, use it for the program to which she is affiliated but not at any other programs.

disorder · Oct 2, 2012

inmyslumber said:
Does the letter writer know you personally and/or has she worked with you? If not, I would think this is a weak letter.

Perhaps you can ask her to rewrite the letter. Otherwise, use it for the program to which she is affiliated but not at any other programs.

was about to post this. seems like a solid idea...

from what i've heard from others, any letter that mention "personal" ties could potentially be harmful at programs (other than your home institution).

Raryn · Oct 2, 2012

knuckles said:
Are you people not waiving your rights to see the letter or are you just breaking the rules? Nobody waiving should have any idea what the letter says. It destroys the reason for having it in the first place.

Waiving doesn't mean that you can't see your letter. It means that they're not required to show it to you. The letter writer can opt to show it to whomever the want, you included.

Raryn · Oct 2, 2012

knuckles said:
Can you find anywhere on ERAS where it says that? That seems very illogical and I think its questionably unethical for the student to view it after waiving their right.

I don't have any idea where it says it on ERAS, but it's very logical.

You have a right, under FERPA (the educational equivalent of HIPAA), to see your letters of recommendation. If you waive that right, your letter writers are freed to write a more honest letter, knowing that you won't see it automatically. That's the sole purpose of the waiving of the right.

Now, a letter writer still has the right to show it to you if they so choose. But they are in no way, shape, or form required to do so. There are no ethical issues for doing so. It's how it works every time you have letters of rec, doesn't need to be explicitly stated in ERAS.

Olenadr · Oct 2, 2012

usermike8500 said:
A physician I worked with was kind enough to write an LOR for me. Unfortunately, she is friends with my parents and mentioned something along the lines of this in the LOR, "I knew this student's mom and dad personally, they are terrific physicians... I have no doubt that this student will make a great physician too etc"

This LOR writer is affiliated with a program that i would love to attend for residency, so i feel like this letter may be a big help to me in showing that I am familiar with the program and have a special interest in it. But on the other hand, i don't want to seem like I'm resorting to nepotism here... or that i'm some tool who needs his parents' help at the age of 30 in order to get a job.

What do you think, will this letter help or hurt me? Should I include it?

Thanks for your input

Try to have them rewrite it. Same thing happened to me, and I deleted that, this physician was also a teacher and clinical instructor of mine, but when they emailed me a draft, I read about knowing my folks decades ago, I cringed, and kindly deleted that part. As a former PD, I expected a lil better :laugh:

septoplasty · Oct 2, 2012

knuckles said:
Are you people not waiving your rights to see the letter or are you just breaking the rules? Nobody waiving should have any idea what the letter says. It destroys the reason for having it in the first place.

I fail to understand why you are getting worked up about something like this.

Most attending s don't actually give a **** and give a copy of the letters they wrote to their students. Now if given a copy, I'm sure you wouldn't go to the attending and be "OMG, according to the FERPA, I'm not authorized to see such a document, please refrain from showing it to me

".

Be real, and chill out.

DrSnips · Oct 2, 2012

septoplasty said:
I fail to understand why you are getting worked up about something like this.

It's simple really. He clearly has not seen his LORs and is worried that other people who get to cherry pick their LORs after viewing them will have a stronger application than him. The talk of "ethics" is simply a more diplomatic way of phrasing this complaint.

LOR mentions my parents!

usermike8500

Full Member

inmyslumber

Full Member

disorder

isrdero

Raryn

Infernal Internist / Enigmatic Endocrinologist

Raryn

Infernal Internist / Enigmatic Endocrinologist

Olenadr

Full Member

septoplasty

Exceptional

DrSnips

Hospitalist

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