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Hello,
It is difficult accepting my academic past, but now that I have set many old habits aside and become a new person, is there a chance my application won't be thrown away?
Before writing back I would like to tell you a bit about myself and my mindset at the time of my withdrawals
Growing up was mentally draining/stressful for me. I was bullied heavily throughout my childhood, so much that I wouldn't eat at lunch and spent a majority of my high school life sitting in bathroom stalls. I was called the ugliest girl in the school, thrown notes at - people made bird calls when I would pass .. etc. I eventually began hating myself, I Never took pictures, I rarely left my home, had no social life and was always afraid of groups of people. I used to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was (body dysmorphia) and for a long time after, I had suppressed many memories and couldn't remember much of my years in middle/highschool until they came back to me in the form of a nightmare or weird flash back. the OCD was so controlling that when my grandmother developed leukemia, in six months I only went to go see her maybe twice, and never attended her funeral. I even resorted to plastic surgery at 14.
my parents didn't emotionally support me much during my teen years, although they are lovely parents and i know they tried their best. I was ten years old when they got divorced - a really messy one too. Because I didn't know how to express myself properly, I distanced myself almost completely from my father for years, and my mother was always in her own world it seemed. Because of this, mixed with the dysmorphia, I became very vulnerable to abuse.. hence I spent over four/five years of my life in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship starting at the age of 15 with a 20 year old man. you can tell i was more in my own world growing up than anything else; always hiding and searching for comfort.
In my junior year of high school i decided it would be best if I graduated early and attended community college, then transfer to a four year. While this did solve my bullying problem, it was a mistake for the reason that I was clearly not ready, mentally prepared or mature enough for college. Even after the abuse had ended, I was still battling with emotional problems like body dysmorphia, depression, depersonalization, social anxiety. I withdrew from semesters at school because I couldn't handle the simplest tasks - such as walking down a hallway . At this time I wasn't consciously aware of how withdrawals could effect my future, I was just trying to live in the bubble I had created.
Growing up past 18 I began finding myself. I started opening up to family, spending time with my father, going to the gym, began seeing a therapist.. I realized that while I always had big dreams, the only way to reach them was by creating good habits now and thinking positive. Now at 20 I am currently earning straight A's at a four year and shadowing part time at an office. While I can't hide my past, the setbacks I faced have made me a more humble, compassionate person and I don't want them to stop me from being who I want to be. Nonetheless, I feel like there is no real excuse I can give for my withdrawals during an interview for example(if i even get one) - I can't say I was depressed, or "couldn't handle it" .. although at the time I truly felt that way, because I'm hard on myself at times a part of me is afraid that I was or will be viewed as just a silly girl throwing away money because she never had any real responsibilities. my gpa at cc was a 3.6 and i'm currently a 4.0 at mason (four-year). what is your advice
I apologize for all the grammar, typos, and making this so long to read
I appreciate your time and advice, thank you
It is difficult accepting my academic past, but now that I have set many old habits aside and become a new person, is there a chance my application won't be thrown away?
Before writing back I would like to tell you a bit about myself and my mindset at the time of my withdrawals
Growing up was mentally draining/stressful for me. I was bullied heavily throughout my childhood, so much that I wouldn't eat at lunch and spent a majority of my high school life sitting in bathroom stalls. I was called the ugliest girl in the school, thrown notes at - people made bird calls when I would pass .. etc. I eventually began hating myself, I Never took pictures, I rarely left my home, had no social life and was always afraid of groups of people. I used to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was (body dysmorphia) and for a long time after, I had suppressed many memories and couldn't remember much of my years in middle/highschool until they came back to me in the form of a nightmare or weird flash back. the OCD was so controlling that when my grandmother developed leukemia, in six months I only went to go see her maybe twice, and never attended her funeral. I even resorted to plastic surgery at 14.
my parents didn't emotionally support me much during my teen years, although they are lovely parents and i know they tried their best. I was ten years old when they got divorced - a really messy one too. Because I didn't know how to express myself properly, I distanced myself almost completely from my father for years, and my mother was always in her own world it seemed. Because of this, mixed with the dysmorphia, I became very vulnerable to abuse.. hence I spent over four/five years of my life in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship starting at the age of 15 with a 20 year old man. you can tell i was more in my own world growing up than anything else; always hiding and searching for comfort.
In my junior year of high school i decided it would be best if I graduated early and attended community college, then transfer to a four year. While this did solve my bullying problem, it was a mistake for the reason that I was clearly not ready, mentally prepared or mature enough for college. Even after the abuse had ended, I was still battling with emotional problems like body dysmorphia, depression, depersonalization, social anxiety. I withdrew from semesters at school because I couldn't handle the simplest tasks - such as walking down a hallway . At this time I wasn't consciously aware of how withdrawals could effect my future, I was just trying to live in the bubble I had created.
Growing up past 18 I began finding myself. I started opening up to family, spending time with my father, going to the gym, began seeing a therapist.. I realized that while I always had big dreams, the only way to reach them was by creating good habits now and thinking positive. Now at 20 I am currently earning straight A's at a four year and shadowing part time at an office. While I can't hide my past, the setbacks I faced have made me a more humble, compassionate person and I don't want them to stop me from being who I want to be. Nonetheless, I feel like there is no real excuse I can give for my withdrawals during an interview for example(if i even get one) - I can't say I was depressed, or "couldn't handle it" .. although at the time I truly felt that way, because I'm hard on myself at times a part of me is afraid that I was or will be viewed as just a silly girl throwing away money because she never had any real responsibilities. my gpa at cc was a 3.6 and i'm currently a 4.0 at mason (four-year). what is your advice
I apologize for all the grammar, typos, and making this so long to read
I appreciate your time and advice, thank you
