2 weeks until marriage!!

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by CoffeeCat, Apr 26, 2002.

  1. CoffeeCat

    CoffeeCat SDN Angel

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    I'm posting because I'm interested in what ya'll went through on and before (and after) the "big day". Right now I'm just feeling so depressed because of all of the things that I need to be doing, the people I should be talking to and all of that stuff I should have done already. I'm really happy about getting married but I can't wait for all of these time consuming things to be done with!

    Any advice, thoughts, stories? Thanks!
     
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  3. k's mom

    k's mom Senior Member

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    CONGRATS!!!!

    Let me see, advice with two weeks to go.....

    Be prepared for the fact that the day of the wedding is going to go by very quickly. The joke is that photographers call the pictures "proofs" because it is the only proof that the wedding actually took place. LOL Keeping this in mind, I suggest....
    1. make sure everything YOU need to do is complete at least three days before.
    2. delegate everything, and if you like to be in control, or are overly concerned that something will go wrong (it will), put what you have delegated in writing to each friend or family member. (For their sake as much as yours)
    3. things will go wrong...and it doesn't matter. whatever it is, just laugh it off.
    4. make sure someone else you trust is in charge of the vendors...photographer, caterer, etc... and make sure that each one knows to talk to your assigned person if there are problems, NOT YOU.
    5. Make sure your vendors (ALL OF THEM) have correct, written instructions. If you are using a hotel or a caterer, you should have a document called a "BEO:Banquet Event Order", or something similar (I've worked in the industry before). If you have requested anything MAKE SURE IT IS ON THE BEO. From napkin color to what you are being charged for softdrinks. If something needs to be corrected, don't accept a verbal "ok" from your catering manager. Get the BEO changed, and get a copy.
    6. If there are out of town guests coming and you want to spend time with them, do it during the week before the day. You will not have time or energy otherwise.

    Okay, I will stop now, before I write a book. Sorry for the ramble :p

    Good luck, and enjoy!
     
  4. Starflyr

    Starflyr Manic Faerie

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    Hey CoffeeCat :)

    I dont have any advice, but I just wanted to say you arent alone - I sympathize competely! A month to go and there is SOOO much to do. The invites just went out last week and the dress and veil are in, shoes are ordered, vendors are set, but still.....ACK! Im trying not to think about it until after neuro is over (this coming Friday, may 3). Then I go home to take up the reins from my wonderful mother who has been handling details for me....Whew! Good luck and congrats!

    Star
     
  5. squeek

    squeek Senior Member

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    My wedding day was perfect--I got to talk to everyone we invited, and I remember the whole thing (not common, I've been told!) :)

    My advice is this: Delegate everything before hand. Get it all done with by the day before. And keep these things in mind:

    1) Everything won't go exactly as planned. But that DOESN'T mean it won't be perfect. On my wedding day, the harpist played the wrong piece for the processional, and my sisters (my bridesmaids) decided that they didn't want to walk in alone, as I wanted them to. So they took it upon themselves to rearrange the processional and walked in with the groomsmen. All without telling me. But you know what? I don't think anyone noticed, and even if they had, nobody cared. Everyone told me it was beatiful, and looked like it cost $50K (It didn't. Grand budget was $8500. And I even did all my own flowers!)

    So wake up on your wedding morning, and reconcile yourself to the fact that not all will go as planned. But then DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! It doesn't really matter, and it only makes it more stressful for you.

    2) Focus on that husband-to-be of yours. That's all that matters. When I walked down the aisle, my husband had this beautiful look on his face, and he was crying. I knew at that minute how deeply he loves me. THAT is what the wedding is all about.

    3) Don't let people boss you around prior to the wedding. It is YOUR wedding, and YOU are in charge--not your mother-in-law-to-be, not your crazy aunt, not your mother or sister or grandma. They are there for YOU. Use them. Put them in charge of things (if they're responsible). But be gracious...nobody likes to feel used or bossed around.

    4) Remember: it's supposed to be FUN! Say hi to all of the people that come...visit a bit with the people you love. That's ALSO what the wedding is about...sharing with friends and family and loved ones. Why else would we go to the extravagances that we do? :)

    good luck! I wish you the best...I've been married for three years now, and it's the best decision I ever made!
     
  6. CoffeeCat

    CoffeeCat SDN Angel

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    Thanks guys! I'm getting over the "I have so many things to do" phase and I think I'm going to take some more time off of work (maybe a week isn't enough). I have never been overly controlling, so I'm okay if and when things go wrong...although I'm a little concerned about the restaurant owner, but that's another story :) .

    Also, my mom gave me advice I think is good: she said that it goes so quickly that if I can just relax and have fun from the moment I wake up, that it will be much more memorable. I hope she's right!!
     
  7. vixen

    vixen I like members

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    coffeecat, I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to congratulate you and wish you good luck on your big day!!! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> :D
     
  8. scamp

    scamp Member

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    coffee cat-
    congrats! I agree with the above posters, especially the suggestion to have an appointed "problem solver"! You don't want to have to worry about anything that day!

    The best thing I did on my wedding day was I gave myself peace and quiet while I got ready. I rented a hotel room down the street from the winery where we were married, and I spent the hours before the ceremony there with my mother and my two sisters (and my friend who did my hair). I have nice memories of that morning and best of all it was very peaceful and relaxing! I was far away from all the drama of decorating and setting things up. I really reccomend you take some personal time before the ceremony, without people traipsing in and out of your dressing area. I was very calm as when we drove over and I was able to focus on my new hubby and relish the all of the moments that followed!
    I wish you the best! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" />
     
  9. Mimicat

    Mimicat Senior Member

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    Congrats CoffeeCat!!! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" />

    My only piece of advice is not to let the "Wedding" take away from the "marriage" - just try to keep things in perspective and enjoy the celebration of your union. On our wedding day we had a blizzard (it was at Christmas) - many guest couldn't get there and the power was flickering for quite a while. The priest put it all in perspective at the rehersal the night before by saying that no matter what happened with the weather, he would be there and if my husband and I could get there (by snowmobile if needed :D ) then we would be married - and that is what is the really important thing. Everything else (dress, guests, cake, traditional dances etc) is just icing on the cake <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> )

    Good luck and have fun!
     
  10. CoffeeCat

    CoffeeCat SDN Angel

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    Thanks all for your support! The day was absolutely wonderful, not a thing went wrong. Beautiful weather, great photographer & restaurant manager & pianist, a wonderful group of guests. It was the perfect size - about 60 - and I got to speak with everyone just enough.

    mimicat - I definitely did not let the wedding take away from the marriage, I realize they are two different things and have though about that a lot.

    For anyone planning a wedding themselves, I now have advice! Cut out anything that will cause you grief (I just had my mom as my matron of honor and my fiance's dad was his best man), keep down the number of wedding guests and delegate tasks! The only time I was stressed was the hour before the ceremony and that went by very quickly. And add your own touches - my fiance and I lived only a few blocks away and we walked home...people honked and waved and shouted congratulations...fun!

    :) I am now a happily married woman :)
     
  11. Original

    Original Ogori-Magongo Warrior

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    WOW! Congratulations!!! & Best wishes. <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" />
     
  12. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly
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    <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" />

    Congratulations Coffeecat!!!

    I love the idea of walking home....that is a great image! :)

    Hubby and I went to the grocery store...him in his kilt, me in my dress....on our way to the honeymoon. :) It was a nice feeling.

    Anyways, I was never going to get married and didn't until a month before I turned 29.
    Now I have been married for over 3 years and can honestly say that every day of these years has been better then anytime before being married.

    I wish you more joy then you know what to do with, an eternal honeymoon, and to feel and give complete love every moment of the rest of your life.

    Good luck!! And Congrats again!!

    Wifty
     
  13. Mimicat

    Mimicat Senior Member

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    Congratulations!!! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" />
     
  14. Henna

    Moderator Emeritus

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    Congratulations !!!! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img src="http://216.40.201.38/otn/party/partytime.gif" alt=" - " /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img src="http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/otn/party/beerchug.gif" alt=" - " /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img src="http://www.unique-hardware.co.uk/server-smilies/otn/party/party.gif" alt=" - " />
     
  15. CoffeeCat

    CoffeeCat SDN Angel

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    Thanks again :)

    Anyone else want to share wedding stories?
     
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  17. Nanon

    Nanon An urban myth.

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    First, I want to say CONGRADULATIONS COFFEECAT!!!

    We eloped. And we eloped on April Fool's Day, so anyone who didn't show up at the courthouse on a one hour notice didn't believe us. Including our parents.

    But then, when our parents did finally believe us, we were "compelled" to throw a dog and pony show. Now, neither of us are much into tradition, but we understood that our folks felt jipped. So, instead of doing the normal thing (going to a church, having 50 million guests, etc), we had the dog and pony show at the pub that I worked at, at the time. My great aunt did the ceremony. My husbands ex-girlfriend was his best man, and my ex-boyfriend was my maid of honor (no, he did not wear a dress.) I had six bridesmaids, who all wore their favorite black dress. I bought a beautiful satin vintage wedding gown with the most delicate beading I've ever seen around the sleeves and collar for ~$300.00. A friend of ours, who's a fantastic chef, catered the whole event for $500.00, paid for as a wedding gift by my grandparents. That included a gorgeous 2-teir wedding cake, linens, silverware, china, and a scrumptious buffet. My aunt, an ex-florist, made my bouquet, the butineers, and the corsages, also as a wedding present. My mom made flower wreaths for the bridal party, and smaller ones for wedding souveniers. I made all of our invitations for about $150.00. We paid the bar $250.00 for an open bar, and they pitched in a case of champagne, for free. No one ever paid for a drink. My brother, who's a budding film director, videotaped the whole thing. A bridesmaid paid a friend of hers for photos for her wedding gift.

    So... all in all, we spent (including tuxes and misc.), about $1000. And everyone had a BLAST. There are pictures of me playing pool with my husband in my wedding dress, we listened to our favorite music on the jukebox, the guests played darts and got drunk (but not sloppy drunk). But what I will always remember about that day is seeing both of our families come together, some of them having traveled thousands of miles to do so. I felt incredibly loved and supported.

    The only thing we did wrong was not go immediatly away on a honey-moon... That would have made everything perfect!

    Nanon
     
  18. CoffeeCat

    CoffeeCat SDN Angel

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    Nanon, what a wonderful story!! That sounds like an amazing untraditional wedding :) I think it must always be better when you do it the way you want and don't listen to those nagging voices encouraging you to always follow tradition!
     

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