2006 HUMC central

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Messerschmitts

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  1. Attending Physician
Ha ha, sorry I couldn’t resist. It’s a slow day, everyone who’s a Simpson’s fan show some love for our favourite dodgy medical school!

Hollywood Upstairs Medical College
1234 Sepulveda Blvd, 3F suite 312
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

General Information
Private institution
Year founded: 1992

Fall 2006 Admissions Information
Application deadline: None; we take you when your last waitlist fails!
Application fee: $200

Fall 2004 Admissions Statistics
Acceptance rate: 80% (the other 20% couldn’t pay)
MCAT required? No
Average GPA: Negotiable.

Ranking
U.S. News research rank: 142
U.S. News primary-care rank: 142
(Number of AAMC accredited schools is 141)

2004-2005 Expenses
Tuition: a lot

AMCAS application accepted? No
Director of admissions: John Cena, T.D. (doctor of Thuganomics) and Brad Goodman Ph.DP (Ph.D in pain)
Does this school ask for a secondary application as part of the admissions process? No, just pay us the money

This school requires undergraduate work in these subjects in order to apply: Nutritional Science, Underwater Basket Weaving, Philosophy of the Matrix

Is a personal interview required for admission? Optional
Are interviews conducted at the medical school? No, conducted at local In-and-Out

Notable Alumni: the one and only Nicholas Riviera, M.D.

Hi everybody! HUMC seeks to put the ‘B’ back in “doctorb”. The ‘b’ is for ‘bargin’!!! Our institution is a world leader in research on diseases like bonus eruptus, a serious but neglected disorder in which the skeleton attempts to leap out of the mouth and escape the body. We pioneered cutting-edge treatment such as the world’s first transdental electromicide, using a golf-cart motor with a 1000-volt capacimator.

Our graduates go on into profitable careers as mafia doctors, plastic surgeons, spokespersons for products you can’t believe someone invented, and dietary consultants for dangerously underweight individuals. Our teaching hospital (actually clinic) will perform any surgery for the fantastic price of $129.95! Come in for brain surgery and receive a free Chinese finger trap! Our medical curriculum is likewise revolutionary, using mnemonics to remind you that the knee bone's connected to the something, the something's connected to the red thing, and the red thing's connected to your wrist watch. Join our M.D. programme, and seriously baby, you’ll be able to prescribe anything you want.
 
I can't believe nobody thought this was funny...I put a lot of effort into this spoof! 😛
 
Messerschmitts said:
I can't believe nobody thought this was funny...I put a lot of effort into this spoof! 😛

lots of free time on your hand, no? 😉

jolly good show though. the aamc should recruit you to work on the next msar
 
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