35% of female physicians are not married?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
This is getting old... I am sick of hearing all this crap from both sides. At first it was funny now it is just getting pretty annoying.... Who really cares if someone gets married or not or, if someone has "traditional family values"... We are all individuals from different backgrounds with differnt ideologies... If two individuals really wants to get married then their respective status in society should really not matter... Who freaking cares if a female doctor marries a blue collar guy or someone who is "not as sucessful". First of all, sucess is defined differently by different people thus, though many people here may believe that making 6 figures is the only definition of sucess... others may view raising a family (rasing good children) as being sucessful... I would personally say that staying at home to raise children is 100000000000 times harder than being a doctor..The job requires you to not only take care of an individual but, it requires you to bestow upon that individual proper morals and, human decency...

So basically both sides need to shut the F*ck up and live their lives however they want.... As long as you can accept what you have contributed to society at your death bed then, you can count yourself either a sucess or a failure...

Happy new year Bi*tches :laugh:

Members don't see this ad.
 
this has been very interesting. to all of you who claim that female docs will end up old and alone, do you know many older doctors who are single and childless? both my parents are doctors and they have many doctor friends where both are doctors. my internist is a cute 35ish year old with two boys. The only childless woman doctor I know is the chief of neurosurgery at a local hospital. my point is that these generalizations are unfounded and stupid. 35% isn't so high, i think it reflects women as a whole these days, not just doctors.

I agree with many of the women who have posted. but it does pain me that i will probably be in my mid-30s when I have my first child (and whoever said having children during your mid-30s is dangerous is wrong, once you are in your early 40s does it get risky). I would love to be married and pregnant now but I so strongly want to be a doctor that I will have to pospone that part of my life (not to mention the fact that i'm SINGLE).

medstyle- i agree with everything you've said, you want to get married? :)

I always thought I would marry a doctor. mainly because it is my primary interest and passion and i would like to be with someone who shares that with me.
 
medstyle said:
hmmm, i hope thats a good thing?

about my comments about divorce earlier, i don't mean all divorced people...but anyone who is 22 and is already divorced is someone I do not want to be in a relationship with. There is absolutely no pressure these days to marry that young, so if you do and it doesn't work out, I think such a person probably reflects poor judgement in many areas of life. The particular women that come to mind were completely useless, with or without the divorce.

I don't judge people for anything generally, but i certainly do when deciding on a girl to date. There are too many people in the world to settle, especially if you're someone who has options.

Have a happy new year...

The only thing keeping me from ripping you a new one is the hope that you are a very young, sheltered, and immature individual. Here's hoping the real world never kicks you too hard in your innocent a$$.
:mad:
 
Members don't see this ad :)
yposhelley said:
Wow. I have to say I am very impressed with the women who have somehow suppressed their feminist reactions and resisted replying to some of the more irritating posts on this thread. I know its been really, really hard for me to do so. .

I tried to suppress my reactions but couldn't after a while. I can deal with a few sexist posts, but after a while...eh, you know.

I hope I didn't ever come across as sounding like I think that women are better than men. Because I don't think that. I also do not think that men are better than women. I believe that males and females are equal, and that both can do just about anything equaly.

I do want to clear up one thing I said earlier. When I said"the idea of staying at home disgusts me", I was meaning that I would hate to stay at home and be a housewife, I just wouldnt be good at it. I don't enjoy doing that kind of work (thats why I have a huge pile of stinky laundry in the middle of my bedroom floor :oops: ) I NEVER meant it was bad or "disgusting" for any woman to "stay at home". I only think its okay when the woman decides that for herself that she wants to do that. I think it should be 100% her descision to do so, not her husbands. It should never be the husbands decision for her to be a "housewife". If a woman enjoys housework and would rather stay at home and do that stuff rather than be a doctor, businessperson or whatever, then fine, she can. It just doesnt appeal to me, I would rather be a doctor.
 
I've never wanted to have children, either. I told my mom that when I was 15, and she said I'd change my mind when I got older. Now I am about to turn 30, and I haven't changed my mind yet. :p (Actually, she started believing me when I was about 25 or so; I guess a decade of professing that I would never have any kids finally convinced her that I meant it!!!) I like kids a lot, and I hope that my sister has some, because I'd love to be an aunt (and I do want there to be at least one human being on this planet who thinks that I am cooler than my sister!). But I feel guilty enough about not spending enough time with my cats, let alone being a parent. :p

As far as the marriage part goes, I feel overall neutral toward the idea. When I was younger, I really wanted to get married. I've been engaged three times, but this last time I just told the guy no straight off the bat when he brought up the subject. I'm focusing on school, and I will be moving in a year (hopefully, assuming that I get into med school!), so I don't want to get involved in a serious relationship right now; things are already complicated enough just worrying about the logistics of moving myself and starting a whole new life as a med student and doctor. Maybe I will get married some day, but right now I don't want to do it. And by an accident of fate, I am lucky enough to be living during a time and in a country where I have other options open to me as a woman besides getting married. So if it happens, great, and if it doesn't, well, that's great too.
 
Chankovsky said:
I read this somewhere. Is this true. This seems a bit high. Are u guys intimidated by girls smarter than you?

It probably has to do with the fact that they are butt-ugly or bitchy.
 
medstyle said:
as a female future doc...how do you feel about the whole "sugar momma" idea. Sure, its funny, I can joke and say it would be cool too, but seriously, are you comfortable with that? I really want to know from a woman's perspective. Did it kind of bother you he was willing ot accept that role?

Its all good now, you are both students, but when you're getting serious money, with a serious career and lots of respect, do you think you would want someone your level?

I suspect you like him and so forth, but when he said that, your stomach dropped a little.

Well, he is going to pharmacy school. So it's not like I'm gonna do a Britney Spears and totally make his day. He's going to have his own money. He was just making the point that I will probably make way more than him. We've only been dating for about a year, and we have talked about the type of life we want to have (nothing too much in depth, though). It is obvious that as a pharmacist, he will have a more flexibe schedule than mine. And I think that's what he is referring to. He's a man, and most importantly, he is hispanic. I will never let me pay on a date, never. What makes me think he's going to let me support him? :p
 
Karina said:
Well, he is going to pharmacy school. So it's not like I'm gonna do a Britney Spears and totally make his day. He's going to have his own money. He was just making the point that I will probably make way more than him. We've only been dating for about a year, and we have talked about the type of life we want to have (nothing too much in depth, though). It is obvious that as a pharmacist, he will have a more flexibe schedule than mine. And I think that's what he is referring to. He's a man, and most importantly, he is hispanic. I will never let me pay on a date, never. What makes me think he's going to let me support him? :p


Well I would just like to point out that Pharmacists make quite a bit of money, especially if you are in retail pharmacy. And the thing with retail pharmacy is that you will be making 6 digit numbers in your 20's if you already have been working with a place like walgreens, etc.

Meanwhile, us docs, at that age will still be in training and making small money and be loads in debt.

That is one healthcare field that is becoming popular because of the high salaries it is offering and its dire need for retail pharmacists across the nation rising.
 
Chankovsky said:
I read this somewhere. Is this true. This seems a bit high. Are u guys intimidated by girls smarter than you?

Oh and when does being a doctor signify being smart? With as many english communications pre-meds out there, i would not label doctors as overly "smart"......

You dont have to be smart to get through the pre-reqs...however it does take work...
 
Brain said:
I can totally relate to the not wanting kids. My only stipulation for my future husband is that he must get neutered. Just wondering, did anyone else out there get the question during an interview "How do you plan on balancing being a physician and having a family?". I hated saying in an interview that I don't want to have kids and then having to explain why. I think that's an inappropriate and sexist question. I couldn't help but think "Are you asking me this because I'm female?"

I can relate to feeling peeved at being questioned by some (male) interviewers about my plans for marriage and family. I felt like they'd think I was bizarre if I said I wasn't terribly keen on either. Just seemed invasive and irrelevant in an interview for professional school.

medstyle said:
as a female future doc...how do you feel about the whole "sugar momma" idea. Sure, its funny, I can joke and say it would be cool too, but seriously, are you comfortable with that? I really want to know from a woman's perspective. Did it kind of bother you he was willing ot accept that role?
Men marry "down" a lot more readily than women do, so this is much more a question for the men than for the women (of course, it's a question people know the answer to :) ). I think it's cool that women are also now feeling the freedom to marry as they wish (and incidentally, also nice that their men are not bothered by making less money than their wives).
 
Karina said:
Well, he is going to pharmacy school. So it's not like I'm gonna do a Britney Spears and totally make his day. He's going to have his own money. He was just making the point that I will probably make way more than him. We've only been dating for about a year, and we have talked about the type of life we want to have (nothing too much in depth, though). It is obvious that as a pharmacist, he will have a more flexibe schedule than mine. And I think that's what he is referring to. He's a man, and most importantly, he is hispanic. I will never let me pay on a date, never. What makes me think he's going to let me support him? :p

Your bf is insecure... I would have no problem with a women making more than me. Heck.. as long as I am working and making enough for a good life on my own, I don't care what she earns or does. I do insist however that a spouse does work. If she works too much... and if I am okay with it.. that is fine... if however I don't get to see her at all or she develops a big ego, and the kids (if she decides to have any) are complaining and don't get enough attention.. then that would be a problem.

If for some reason there is a divorce.. (or she cheats on me because of her ego complex) I would sue for support and psychological stress and take custody of the kids. You can't get me hooked on the rich lifestyle and expect me not to get addicted to it. hehehe :smuggrin:
 
Here is the deal "GENERALY" speaking.....really smart people arent the best looking people...im not saying that they are ugly but just not the best looking.....NOT ALWAYS BUT USUALLY..this is true for men and females.....in our society......even an ugly guy can get a girl...as long as he has power money and bla bla bla....i.e, being a doctor....for females no matter how powerfull she is and money and all that other crap.....if she is not beautiful....she is not considered attractive.....and also USUALLY females dont wanna marry untill their carear is on flowing....for docs this dont happen till they are like 30 or so.....well men who marry around 30 dont want a women around 30...they want someon like 23 or so......so UNFORTUNATELY more men docs are married and women docs are not....i dont care if u agree or disagree with me.....this is what makes sense to me in my head!
 
I think that all the people who think women doctors aren't married because of their physical appearance are really on to something... :rolleyes: NOT!

I'm sorry, but its really starting to annoy me because I've seen this idea recurr again and again through out this thread. Come on, people. I'm willing to bet that most women doctors aren't married because they CHOSE it, or that the demands of their profession make it too hard for them to swing a fulltime relationship (or kids for that matter). It is plain stupid to imply that the reason female doctors aren't married is because although they really want to be married, they are just too desperately ugly and couldn't find someone willing to marry them. God, its just too funny. :laugh:

Just for starters, this type of thinking neglects the fact that ALL marriages (no matter how beautiful the two people) are based on more than just physical appearance. Otherwise, celebrity marriages would last forever. To all the premies who are failing to realize this...grow up and get it into your heads real quick.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
ucsb101 said:
Here is the deal "GENERALY" speaking.....really smart people arent the best looking people...im not saying that they are ugly but just not the best looking.....NOT ALWAYS BUT USUALLY

total crap.

and anyway, i think you'll find that even in the really great med schools, not everyone is terribly smart.
 
docbill said:
Your bf is insecure... I would have no problem with a women making more than me. Heck.. as long as I am working and making enough for a good life on my own, I don't care what she earns or does. I do insist however that a spouse does work. If she works too much... and if I am okay with it.. that is fine... if however I don't get to see her at all or she develops a big ego, and the kids (if she decides to have any) are complaining and don't get enough attention.. then that would be a problem.

If for some reason there is a divorce.. (or she cheats on me because of her ego complex) I would sue for support and psychological stress and take custody of the kids. You can't get me hooked on the rich lifestyle and expect me not to get addicted to it. hehehe :smuggrin:

I don't know how you would come to the conclusion that my boyfriend is insecure. He's a gentleman and spoils me when we go out, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes he lets me pay, but lately I've been broke after applying to med school. And when I point out that he will make good money before I am even done with med school, he says pharmacists make "pocket change" compared to doctors and that he will have no problem with me being his suga momma. How is that insecure? He is admitting he has no problem with me making more money. I just see him as being supportive, and a great boyfriend who stands by my decision of becoming a doctor and tells me I will make a great doctor all the time. Unlike my selfish ex-boyfriend, who actually suggested other things that I should consider doing besides being a doctor...based on him...

Karina
 
Chankovsky said:
I read this somewhere. Is this true. This seems a bit high. Are u guys intimidated by girls smarter than you?


first of all, I don't know if this statistic is true. Can someone confirm this.
 
wends said:
so many arent married cause we're too goddamn busy to go out there and find someone!!! with med school then rotations then residency when will i have the time to find a man and get hitched??? hell, im even sometimes too busy to date............

plus, we're articulate, sophisticated and educated, and with that comes pickiness when choosing someone.......i cant just go out with anyone......i have to like him and he has to have a perrsonality that i find appealing.......its just tough all around lol.

thats why i need to be in a med school in a city with tons of single ppl!! need to get hooked up man! :laugh: :love: :love:


:horns: amen
 
leechy said:
Ever heard of sperm banks? I'm not averse to that route myself if I should have a change of heart down the road about reproducing.
:laugh: Got any ideas where those sperm come from? This is as stupid as saying that men will create artificial wombs and get rid of women.
 
Karina said:
I don't know how you would come to the conclusion that my boyfriend is insecure. He's a gentleman and spoils me when we go out, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes he lets me pay, but lately I've been broke after applying to med school. And when I point out that he will make good money before I am even done with med school, he says pharmacists make "pocket change" compared to doctors and that he will have no problem with me being his suga momma. How is that insecure? He is admitting he has no problem with me making more money. I just see him as being supportive, and a great boyfriend who stands by my decision of becoming a doctor and tells me I will make a great doctor all the time. Unlike my selfish ex-boyfriend, who actually suggested other things that I should consider doing besides being a doctor...based on him...

Karina

Kerina.. good for you. I take it back if that is the case. For original post, I though you meant he was insecure. If 2 people respect each other it doesn't matter what the monetary value is of the other.

I take that back.
 
FutureDrCynthia said:
Maybe I just dont have a "maternal instinct" or something...
It does sometimes kick in when you're in your thirties though, as time starts "running out."

FutureDrCynthia said:
One last thing...To people who say a man needs to be around to read "fine print" and other "guy jobs" (if you really want to say reading fine print is a man thing...) Umm, women can read fine print, put things together/build/fix stuff too! I don't mean to stat a war in saying that but, seriously, I can do that stuff and know other women that can too
Sure they can, but some would rather not do things like that, just as I'd rather not do the sewing, cooking and interior design, although I can do some of those things.
 
In summary to this thread, it's amazing how many different approaches people have to the same issue. I'd like a wife that wants several or more children and wants to stay at home with them while I work as the primary breadwinner. Fortunately for me, I have somebody just like that. The prospect of a wife who is more intelligent than me isn't what would intimidate me - a woman who put on airs because she is intelligent would definitely drive me nuts, as would one who was materialistic/money-loving.
 
TheProwler said:
It does sometimes kick in when you're in your thirties though, as time starts "running out."


Sure they can, but some would rather not do things like that, just as I'd rather not do the sewing, cooking and interior design, although I can do some of those things.

yeah, but but I hope it never kicks in! I have seen those birth shows on discovery health, and sometimes they acutually show the baby come out and its like :eek: Its not just what I have seen that makes me not want kids, I just don't want any. Like I said before, they are cute and stuff, but I wouldn't want a kid.

Also, I would rather not do the sewing and cleaning and crap either. I don't mind cooking, but I wouldnt want to be the one to do it every day. But I hate cleaning (seriously, there is still a pile of dirty laundry on my floor, I won't say how long its been there either -because its been there a while!) The only "girly" thing I am really good at is interior design. I explained stuff the way I did in the previous post is because someone here acted like females cant do stuff like "read fine print" . It is fine if a woman would rather not do that stuff, as long as it is her decision not to work...because she should never be forced not to work my a man. If she hates the idea of going to work or whatever then fine. But I hate it when some men force their wives to stay at home (especially when they want them "barefoot and pregnant" and to have dinner on the table when they get home, and have the house completely clean). All I am saying is that women should get to choose whether they want to work or not, and that it should not be their husbands decicion.
 
TheProwler said:
In summary to this thread, it's amazing how many different approaches people have to the same issue. I'd like a wife that wants several or more children and wants to stay at home with them while I work as the primary breadwinner. Fortunately for me, I have somebody just like that. The prospect of a wife who is more intelligent than me isn't what would intimidate me - a woman who put on airs because she is intelligent would definitely drive me nuts, as would one who was materialistic/money-loving.

Why don't you stay home 50% of the time and take care of 50% of your DNA? I hope some day men are embarrassed to publicly state what you have above.

Have you ever heard a woman say she doesn't want to date a man who "puts on airs". Give me a break. Where did you get this sexist outdated phrase, some Jane Austen novel? "From a respectable but by no means wealthy family, Mrs. X had developed a repuation in mansfield park for conversing with gentlewomen, wearing the finest dresses, and putting on airs unbecoming of her station..."

I am truly saddened by the ridiculous views expressed in this thread by my future male colleagues. I can only hope some were not made in all seriousness.
In the following study -- which maybe ucsb101 should check out -- it is claimed that beautiful people are more intelligent (link to pdf article):
http://www.lse.ac.uk/collections/methodologyInstitute/pdf/SKanazawa/I2004.pdf
 
I like what Susan B anthony said about why she didn't choose to marry: that she didn't want to just be "some man's housekeeper."

You guys who talk about having a dumb blond barefoot and pregnant, ugh, you are like the neanderthals. And I live in Utah so I should know about barefoot and pregnant (and multiple wives at that ... ).

I like how the women have really held their own on this thread. Now if the guys could just add a few years to their maturity level then we would all be better off. I think alot of women chose not to marry because of what Susan B. said, and I personally agree with her. I would like to marry for love but I sure as heck don't want to just be someone's housekeeper when I can be the big bucks breadwinner myself. I like having my own assets and making my own decisions and being a full person in my own right. Who the heck wouldn't? It's a great feeling to have your own life and know that you've made your own money and whatever. My married girlfriends all have to 'ask' their husbands if they can 1) work, 2) go shopping or 3) have friends over. What's up with that?! :thumbdown:

We've come along way from when my grandmother wanted to go to medical school but had to settle instead for being a chemistry teacher - and she got paid LESS than my grandfather for the exact same work. So let's keep working on this equality thing, and here's to marriages made of equals who choose to be together out of love and not out of convenience. ;)
 
Acherona said:
Why don't you stay home 50% of the time and take care of 50% of your DNA? I hope some day men are embarrassed to publicly state what you have above.
:rolleyes: God forbid that somebody else have different goals in life than you. What's it to you? I have a girlfriend that would like to work for several years and then become a stay-at-home mom, and I'd like to be the primary breadwinner. My parents did it that way, and I feel that it was a worthwhile practice. You've got a lot of nerve to say that I should be embarrassed to feel this way.

Acherona said:
Have you ever heard a woman say she doesn't want to date a man who "puts on airs". Give me a break. Where did you get this sexist outdated phrase, some Jane Austen novel? "From a respectable but by no means wealthy family, Mrs. X had developed a repuation in mansfield park for conversing with gentlewomen, wearing the finest dresses, and putting on airs unbecoming of her station..."
You REALLY have a stick up your ass. What I said was perfectly reasonable. Why is the phrase even sexist? I don't want to marry someone who is conceited about her own intelligence. Confident? Yes. Intelligent? Yes. Conceited? Hell no.
 
Paws said:
I think alot of women chose not to marry because of what Susan B. said, and I personally agree with her. I would like to marry for love but I sure as heck don't want to just be someone's housekeeper when I can be the big bucks breadwinner myself. I like having my own assets and making my own decisions and being a full person in my own right. Who the heck wouldn't? It's a great feeling to have your own life and know that you've made your own money and whatever. My married girlfriends all have to 'ask' their husbands if they can 1) work, 2) go shopping or 3) have friends over. What's up with that?! :thumbdown:

I totally agree. The only relationship I've been in where I could seriously consider marrying the guy was one in which I always felt respected, I was never asked to sacrifice my aspirations for our family life, and I knew my boyfriend wanted me to be academically successful. He wouldn't have wanted to be with someone who wanted to be a housewife anyway. I sometimes think I may never get married, although I'd like to spend my life with someone, and the reason is this: most men that I have met are just not people that I feel are respectful of a woman's choices and a woman's right to a career and family life that are matched in satisfaction and quality to her husband's. I want a husband who expects me to be academically and financially successful. I want a family that encourages activism, liberal values, and independence so that our children don't grow up to be the mindless conservative backwoods freaks that so many of you men on this thread seem to be. :p Unfortunately, I don't think men want to relinquish their position as the gender with the higher power in this country. So when faced with an intelligent group of women, such as on this forum and in this thread, they resort to mockery and belittlement of females through criticism of our looks, our sexuality, our motives. It's disgusting. And sad. I feel sad for you men who are so backwards and insecure.
 
Im happy more people are coming to this thread that are also against the sexist idea that "women need to stay home". I agree with one of the above statements about why cant men stay home half the time to take care of the kids. I believe that men should help with the kids. I think 1/2 the time the mom should take care of them and the other 1/2 the time the dad should be taking care of them. I think that is how the housework should be too, 1/2 the chores the husband does, and the other half the wife can do. All work (house "chores" and taking care of kids) should be divided equally.

I would never marry a man (or even date) that required me to do that "ask permission" bull crap. I don't know how the women who are married to those guys handle that.
 
i told myself i would no longer post on this frequently ridiculous thread but here i go again...

anyway, as a woman i'd like to defend the men who want a stay at home wife who is "barefoot and pregnant." i haven't read every post on this thread but the posts saying they want that have pretty much stipulated that's what they want in their partner, not that all women should be barefoot and pregant. and that's a perfectly reasonable choice for them to make as long as they don't say that's what all women should do. i won't be marrying any of the guys that have that attitude, of course, but that doesn't mean they are making a choice they shoul be ashamed of. should i be ashamed if i want a man who doesn't have a hectic job and can stay at home to tend to our home and children? no. because its perfectly reasonable for one person to be the breadwinner and the other to not be.

if any of you men think all women should stay home, then you should be ashamed. otherwise, hey to each his/her own. :thumbup:
 
FutureDrCynthia said:
Im happy more people are coming to this thread that are also against the sexist idea that "women need to stay home". I agree with one of the above statements about why cant men stay home half the time to take care of the kids. I believe that men should help with the kids. I think 1/2 the time the mom should take care of them and the other 1/2 the time the dad should be taking care of them. I think that is how the housework should be too, 1/2 the chores the husband does, and the other half the wife can do. All work (house "chores" and taking care of kids) should be divided equally.
I don't really think it matters, as long as the two come to an equally agreeable decision. If someone's getting the short end of the stick, then that's a problem. If one spouse works for 70 hours and the other stays home, then I don't really think it's going to be that easily divisible. I've heard of stay-at-home dads because their wives either make more money or want a career and the dad wants to watch the kids all the time.

FutureDrCynthia said:
I would never marry a man (or even date) that required me to do that "ask permission" bull crap. I don't know how the women who are married to those guys handle that.
That's just goofy fringe-style thinking.


Edit - CarleneM just said exactly what I was trying to say. :cool:
 
FutureDrCynthia said:
I would never marry a man (or even date) that required me to do that "ask permission" bull crap. I don't know how the women who are married to those guys handle that.


I think depression helps ... and my friend who has almost stopped working now that she has a kid, it's scary to me when she says her husband "won't let her work more" and she is being forced to give up this job she totally loves because her husband also won't let anyone else be with the baby but her. :scared:

This was my way cool, Humbolt California hippie artist friend - now, where is she? lost somewhere in her marriage.

I'm with Stinkcheese, I may never marry but I would like to live with someone as a true partner. The mormons here call their spouses 'life companions,' and that brings alot respect and implied partnership in the relationship. While I might not agree with some of their beliefs about women, etc. I sure like that image of relationships and the men I know are really very hands on dads and husbands. They really seem to carry their 50% load in these relationships, which is pretty cool to see.
 
TheProwler said:
I don't really think it matters, as long as the two come to an equally agreeable decision. If someone's getting the short end of the stick, then that's a problem. If one spouse works for 70 hours and the other stays home, then I don't really think it's going to be that easily divisible. I've heard of stay-at-home dads because their wives either make more money or want a career and the dad wants to watch the kids all the time.


That's just goofy fringe-style thinking.


Edit - CarleneM just said exactly what I was trying to say. :cool:


What do you mean by "goofy fringe style thinking"?

What I am saying by doing equal amounts of work is that if both are working the same hours etc. Its a slightly different story if the hours worked is drasticaly different. Like if a husband works 40 hours a week and a wife works 50 hours, the chores would still be divided, but the husband would do an extra chore or to. See what I am saying? Basically, if job hours are equal, then chores are split even. If one person works more job hours that the other, then they would do a few less chores while the other does a few extra. So all work (both job and housework) combined is evenly distributed.
 
I can't wait to be a full-time doctor, a full-time mother, a full-time partner, and a full-time superstar. Yeehaw!

I figure if I can be a full-time social worker/musician/friend/volunteer/med school applicant, I'll be able to take on my next challenge(s) with equal force. And I know all of the other female pre-meds are with me on this. Our dedication to other people does not detract from our ability to be wonderful, loving family members.
 
Acherona said:
Why don't you stay home 50% of the time and take care of 50% of your DNA? I hope some day men are embarrassed to publicly state what you have above.

Have you ever heard a woman say she doesn't want to date a man who "puts on airs". Give me a break. Where did you get this sexist outdated phrase, some Jane Austen novel? "From a respectable but by no means wealthy family, Mrs. X had developed a repuation in mansfield park for conversing with gentlewomen, wearing the finest dresses, and putting on airs unbecoming of her station..."

I am truly saddened by the ridiculous views expressed in this thread by my future male colleagues. I can only hope some were not made in all seriousness.
In the following study -- which maybe ucsb101 should check out -- it is claimed that beautiful people are more intelligent (link to pdf article):
http://www.lse.ac.uk/collections/methodologyInstitute/pdf/SKanazawa/I2004.pdf


haha, props on the quote. You must really hate that guy.

But seriously, all guys who want their wife to take a primary role in child rearing are not stuck in past unevolved sexist animals. I love this quote: "My only stipulation for my future husband is that he must get neutered.". Come on, that is femnazi. Only stipulation? Man, that is harsh. Especially because a marriage like that is gonna last, i dunno, 3 years tops. She can't take BC like the rest of the world?

I think marriage is all about give and take, not complete equality. Because men and women ARE different, and not equal. A man and woman deserve the same rights, but one should not conclude they are exactly the same. Sure, SOME women are as strong as SOME men, and SOME men are as good caregivers as SOME women, but I think biology has lent some hand in who we are.

I guess some women don't want a man that they will "need" and depend on, just a partner to compliment their lives. Alot of people are doing this, long term dating thing, without marriage and children. Thats fine. If you can manage to get married doing somtehing like this, that great too.

But those of us who still want to get married, and raise kids, and have a nice happy family, we're not all *****s. I mean, what's the point of having money if you're only spending it on yourself? What are you going to do with your free time? Being married at a reasonably young age, eventually having kids, and building a life around a family is something lots of people want to do. Some of us, gasp, look forward to it. (at least the married part...i am only 22, sheesh).

And if a man wants his wife to stay home, i am sure she will know this before the marriage. Perhaps she has more fun raising kids than worrying about having a job? No man should be ashamed of having a wife stay home. And if a man wants to do the same for his wife, more power to him. However, this case seems to be more rare, as I doubt many women are looking for a man like that. I am sure some are, and there are plenty of people who are more than willing to be househusbands.

But you won't find them in med school. And i dunno, this sex role reversal stuff is all cool in theory, but i don't see it much. I basically see that its basically the alpha male that the women are attracted to. When I see guys who insist YOU pay for the date get the girl, I'll grab my ankles and scream "uncle no!".

want to get personal?: I've helped my share of women relieve some frustration about dating a "loser". Basically, its the same story: he's boring, not cool, not funny, not fun, not motivated, not put together...leads them to seek luvin' elsewhere. I, sadly and reluctantly comply (i was a *****...what can i say). And the girls that like, they like me for those reasons too.

I am not looking for a bimbo. I want a super sexy smart, intellectual, funny, cool chick to date and hopefully marry. I want her to be equal with me as far as career stuff, if she can do better more power to her...but she'd better have some old fashioned wife/ mothering capability too. I don't need her scrubbing floors or baking pies, but I am a man expect to be treated as such. Of course, you don't have to like it, but I think most guys who are high achievers are like this. Hopefully, i hope i can find a woman that fits my needs, and you can find a person that fits urs.
 
FutureDrCynthia said:
What do you mean by "goofy fringe style thinking"?
I know of lots of stay-at-home moms, and I don't know any that have to ask their husband's permission for anything. Discuss important expenses/decisions because they're in this together? Sure, but that's entirely different.
 
medstyle said:
want to get personal?: I've helped my share of women relieve some frustration about dating a "loser". Basically, its the same story: he's boring, not cool, not funny, not fun, not motivated, not put together...leads them to seek luvin' elsewhere. I, sadly and reluctantly comply (i was a *****...what can i say). And the girls that like, they like me for those reasons too.


I'm sure your future highly intelligent wife is going to love hearing about this lovely talent. "What a service you've done to the fairer sex." Maybe all of the helplessly ugly SDN chicks can pitch in and buy you a plaque to hang over your bed just above the "women I've helped relieve" notches. :laugh: :rolleyes:
 
CarleneM said:
i told myself i would no longer post on this frequently ridiculous thread but here i go again...

anyway, as a woman i'd like to defend the men who want a stay at home wife who is "barefoot and pregnant." i haven't read every post on this thread but the posts saying they want that have pretty much stipulated that's what they want in their partner, not that all women should be barefoot and pregant. and that's a perfectly reasonable choice for them to make as long as they don't say that's what all women should do. i won't be marrying any of the guys that have that attitude, of course, but that doesn't mean they are making a choice they shoul be ashamed of. should i be ashamed if i want a man who doesn't have a hectic job and can stay at home to tend to our home and children? no. because its perfectly reasonable for one person to be the breadwinner and the other to not be.

if any of you men think all women should stay home, then you should be ashamed. otherwise, hey to each his/her own. :thumbup:

I actually believe it is an unfair, maybe even selfish, stance to take at the outset of relationship, i.e. as an ideal. What motivaton would a man have to desire some abstact woman, his future wife, to stay home while he is the "primary breadwinner" except out of some weird machismo? He hasn't met her yet, he doesn't know what her beliefs and desires are. It grates on me to see "homemaker" being a criterion for choosing a mate along with "beautiful, smart etc." It should really be irrelevant. It should be ASSUMED that both partners in a relationship will shoulder the child-rearing responsibilities and if a different sort of situation works out, that's great, but to specifically seek out a wife who prefers not to work is, in my view, bordering on the sexist because it is limiting a WOMAN's choice, not a specific person's. And it is a choice that has taken women a lot of time and effort to gain and should therefore be treated with the utmost sensitivity. The fact that many men still seem to hold this view (if it were only a few, who cares) is indicative of a fundamental societal problem and only serves to reinforce the paradigm of the traditional American family.
 
TheProwler said:
I know of lots of stay-at-home moms, and I don't know any that have to ask their husband's permission for anything. Discuss important expenses/decisions because they're in this together? Sure, but that's entirely different.

Of course its okay do discuss expenses and decisions of that nature. If I were married and wanted to buy a car, I would talk about it with my husband first (unless it was paid for 100% with my own money and I knew that the money wasnt needed for anything else). Just about evey couple discusses expense type stuff. Its kind of necissary seeing as the money might need to be used for someting else (like house repairs or something).

I just think it is wrong for a woman to have to ask her husband for permission to go somewhere with a friend, or to buy something like a new outfit, or to get a job. That is the kind of person I wouldnt marry. I dont think that a woman should have to ask permission to work (or visit a friend etc).
 
MedicineBird said:
I'm sure your future highly intelligent wife is going to love hearing about this lovely talent. "What a service you've done to the fairer sex." Maybe all of the helplessly ugly SDN chicks can pitch in and buy you a plaque to hang over your bed just above the "women I've helped relieve" notches. :laugh: :rolleyes:

hey, it wasn't too many... Besides, i am done with that, i got it out of my system. Better to be done with roaming now then to bring that garbage into a serious relationship.

Man this thread is addictive.

I understand what Acheron is saying about guys presuming a girl to be a housewife before meeting her, but I think she is definately too intellectual. I cannot reduce my emotions to pure logic as she has. I guess thats the problem. I was not cultured by my parents or society to want a woman to be a "woman", its just what i like. Just like food or anything else.

If i were to be completely intellectual, i actually have no purpose for having a woman except sexual relief. I don't need her for anything else, truthfully. But I WANT a woman around me, needing me, because otherwise i have no one to give to that i care about.

I guess thats it: most men want to take care of a woman for the big things, the things that you can't do without, like money, food, protection, etc...and they want a woman to give them things that make life better, like love, care, and that sort of stuff. And what women want?

WHO THE HELL KNOWS
 
haha, i bet all the desi people are reading this thread and are like "alriiiiggghht" hahaha
 
Acherona said:
I actually believe it is an unfair, maybe even selfish, stance to take at the outset of relationship, i.e. as an ideal. What motivaton would a man have to desire some abstact woman, his future wife, to stay home while he is the "primary breadwinner" except out of some weird machismo? He hasn't met her yet, he doesn't know what her beliefs and desires are. It grates on me to see "homemaker" being a criterion for choosing a mate along with "beautiful, smart etc." It should really be irrelevant. It should be ASSUMED that both partners in a relationship will shoulder the child-rearing responsibilities and if a different sort of situation works out, that's great, but to specifically seek out a wife who prefers not to work is, in my view, bordering on the sexist because it is limiting a WOMAN's choice, not a specific person's. And it is a choice that has taken women a lot of time and effort to gain and should therefore be treated with the utmost sensitivity. The fact that many men still seem to hold this view (if it were only a few, who cares) is indicative of a fundamental societal problem and only serves to reinforce the paradigm of the traditional American family.

Hey Acherona, will you marry me? I believe same-sex marriage is legal where we come from :) Don't worry, you don't have to stay home and take care of the kids. I'll let you work, girl.
 
medstyle said:
I understand what Acheron is saying about guys presuming a girl to be a housewife before meeting her, but I think she is definately too intellectual.

Yeah, darn those intellectual women. Who let them into college? It's too hard to talk about gender issues with an educated woman, man. She... like... can totally stand up for herself and her gender! That shouldn't be allowed... I can't be keepin' up with intellectual women, man.

medstyle said:
I cannot reduce my emotions to pure logic as she has. I guess thats the problem. I was not cultured by my parents or society to want a woman to be a "woman", its just what i like. Just like food or anything else.

What are you talking about? You just like your women to be of the "housewife" flavor? I didn't know we came in flavors.

medstyle said:
If i were to be completely intellectual, i actually have no purpose for having a woman except sexual relief. I don't need her for anything else, truthfully. But I WANT a woman around me, needing me, because otherwise i have no one to give to that i care about.

Or because otherwise you have no way to feel like a big, important, strrroonnngggg man. Oh, medstyle, won't you protect me from the bogey men in the closet? You're my hero, you dreamy money-maker!

medstyle said:
I guess thats it: most men want to take care of a woman for the big things, the things that you can't do without, like money, food, protection, etc...and they want a woman to give them things that make life better, like love, care, and that sort of stuff.

Funny... marriage adds 9 years to a man's life, but last I checked, it actually deducts from a woman's life expectancy. Now, who's taking care of who?
 
stinkycheese said:
Yeah, darn those intellectual women. Who let them into college? It's too hard to talk about gender issues with an educated woman, man. She... like... can totally stand up for herself and her gender! That shouldn't be allowed... I can't be keepin' up with intellectual women, man.
I think he meant that Acherona is addressing emotions with hard logic with too intellectual of a manner for the topic at hand. Love and emotions can't always be explained that way though.

stinkycheese said:
medstyle said:
If i were to be completely intellectual, i actually have no purpose for having a woman except sexual relief. I don't need her for anything else, truthfully. But I WANT a woman around me, needing me, because otherwise i have no one to give to that i care about.

Or because otherwise you have no way to feel like a big, important, strrroonnngggg man. Oh, medstyle, won't you protect me from the bogey men in the closet? You're my hero, you dreamy money-maker!
Why don't you address his actual comment? What intellectual purpose do YOU see for having a marriage/relationship?

stinkycheese said:
Funny... marriage adds 9 years to a man's life, but last I checked, it actually deducts from a woman's life expectancy. Now, who's taking care of who?
source/link?
 
medstyle said:
But seriously, all guys who want their wife to take a primary role in child rearing are not stuck in past unevolved sexist animals. I love this quote: "My only stipulation for my future husband is that he must get neutered.". Come on, that is femnazi. Only stipulation? Man, that is harsh. Especially because a marriage like that is gonna last, i dunno, 3 years tops. She can't take BC like the rest of the world?

But it should be the womans choice to stay at home, her choice not her husband's. If she wants kids and wants to have a job, then she should be able to have a job. It is sexist if a man forces his wife to stay at home and take care of the kids and not let her have a job.

medstyle said:
think marriage is all about give and take, not complete equality. Because men and women ARE different, and not equal. A man and woman deserve the same rights, but one should not conclude they are exactly the same. Sure, SOME women are as strong as SOME men, and SOME men are as good caregivers as SOME women, but I think biology has lent some hand in who we are.

I agree some with what you are saying here. Of course there are biological and anatomical differences between men and women. But just because a woman is the one who gave birth and historicly was the caregiver of kids, doesnt mean that she should be the one to do all of the childcare work.

medstyle said:
I guess some women don't want a man that they will "need" and depend on, just a partner to compliment their lives. Alot of people are doing this, long term dating thing, without marriage and children. Thats fine. If you can manage to get married doing somtehing like this, that great too.

You are righ, some women dont want to have to depend on a man. I don't need to depend on a man. The reason I would get married is for love. Not because I needed someone for financial support/to be a "breadwinner", or because I feel that I need to start and have a family. I want to have a succesful career that allows me to support myself. I would be fine getting married to a man who made less money than me. I would be fine with it even if his job was totaly different that what I am doing (ex: if I were a doctor and he were an assistant manager at burger king; I would be okay with that) As long as the person I marry has a good personality and is smart enough, and loves me, that is basically all I need. Who cares if he makes $100,000 less than I do? I know I dont.

medstyle said:
But those of us who still want to get married, and raise kids, and have a nice happy family, we're not all *****s. I mean, what's the point of having money if you're only spending it on yourself? What are you going to do with your free time? Being married at a reasonably young age, eventually having kids, and building a life around a family is something lots of people want to do. Some of us, gasp, look forward to it. (at least the married part...i am only 22, sheesh).

No, people who want to get married and have kids arent *****s. The people that I think are *****s are people who force their wives to stay at home. (and for the millionth time) If it is her choice, and hers alone, to stay at home, then fine. Its just that not all women want to have kids or stay at home. To some (like me), staying at home would bore them to death. Seriously, I think I would go insane if I had to stay at home and not work!

medstyle said:
And if a man wants his wife to stay home, i am sure she will know this before the marriage. Perhaps she has more fun raising kids than worrying about having a job? No man should be ashamed of having a wife stay home. And if a man wants to do the same for his wife, more power to him. However, this case seems to be more rare, as I doubt many women are looking for a man like that. I am sure some are, and there are plenty of people who are more than willing to be househusbands.

And some people would have more fun having a career rather than kids. And why cant they do both? Kids arent babies forever. People can work while the kids are at school you know. And if you need to work a hour or so longer than school hours, then hire a babysitter untill the kid is old enough to stay alone.
Okay, this is kind of going against what I have said but, I wouldn't mind having a house-husband (actually I have to admit I would probably love to)! As long as that is what he wants to do and he choses so, then great. Also, as long as he isn't a bum...I wouldnt want him if he sat around all day drinking beer and not doing anything. And if I had a househusband I would still help with some of the housework.

medstyle said:
I am not looking for a bimbo. I want a super sexy smart, intellectual, funny, cool chick to date and hopefully marry. I want her to be equal with me as far as career stuff, if she can do better more power to her...but she'd better have some old fashioned wife/ mothering capability too. I don't need her scrubbing floors or baking pies, but I am a man expect to be treated as such. Of course, you don't have to like it, but I think most guys who are high achievers are like this. Hopefully, i hope i can find a woman that fits my needs, and you can find a person that fits urs.

Its okay to want someone to be a good mother (as long as they want kids too and again; as long as its their choice). Its nice to see that you want her to be have an equal career and that you don't "need her scrubbing floors". But just because you are male doesnt mean that you cant help with childcare and some housework. Doing those kinds of things won't make you less of a man, but making a woman do it all will make you less of a man.
 
TheProwler said:
I think he meant that Acherona is addressing emotions with hard logic with too intellectual of a manner for the topic at hand. Love and emotions can't always be explained that way though.

He's not talking about marriage to a particular person, he's speaking in the abstract. It's not about love if it's a diffuse statement. And it's too bad that he cannot see past his emotions to consider another stance. He's checking out of this debate, essentially, because things have gotten too intellectual - which is a sign to me that he is uncomfortable when faced with an intelligent analysis of the topic at hand, because his position is supported mainly by irrational feelings and emotions, rather than logic.

theprowler said:
Why don't you address his actual comment?

I have spent most of my life trying to discuss gender issues with people who don't believe that women are wholly equal to men. Sometimes, you just get tired.

theprowler said:
What intellectual purpose do YOU see for having a marriage/relationship?

Thank you for asking. Emotional intimacy opens a person up to discoveries about themselves and the world that they may never have had without the other person's guidance. I believe that knowing someone so intimately is a gift and is to be cherished. It allows you to think about things in ways you haven't before, to learn another's history, to share the future, to share the present... to see another point of view in the most intimate way, to expand your family, to learn about what is important to someone. Companionship, comfort, the sharing of love. These are all "reasons" to get married. They have little to do with some hyped-up emotional picture I have in my head of what role my husband should play in our union, other than that I hope he is someone who can and will share of himself with me and love me, and encourage me to share with him and love him back.


source/link?

I'll try to dig one up. I may have the numbers wrong on years, but I have read many times that marriage adds to a man's life but does not add, and in some cases shortens, a woman's life.
 
stinkycheese...you did not grasp what i was i was attempting to say and instead skewed it completely. Do not be concerned: no one will ever mistake you for an intellectual in any capacity.

Its freezing outside, but I am sure its no colder than your lonely heart.

I think you women are looking for "partners", not husbands. Thats cool, but I think its a sad day when women's progress means replacing family with a career. Most men actually maintain a career for their family. You don't want anyone to care for you? I think this is all a product of the degeneration of the American family. Do you realize that the only people who care about you 100% of the time is ur family? Not your boyfriend, or your best friends, just ur family. Your family should be willing to sacrifice anything for you and you anything for them. I think this marriage of convenience stuff is cold hearted and sterile. I guess this is american style love, complete with divorce over trivial issues, affairs which are acceptable because one party wasn't paying enough "attention" to the other, etc.

I was reading a story the other day, about this kid who was asked to give blood to save his sister. Eventually he asked as the blood was being drained "How long until I die?". He thought he was giving all his blood to her. That's love. Who would do that for you? Who would you do that for? I promise you this: no friend and no "partner" either.

I guess if you don't have a close family and you've done everything on your own, maybe you don't see the benefit of having a marriage in the tradional sense. Maybe you're just too "intelligent". But some of us are still human and will fall short of your logic.

Anyway, i have the cutest, most fun gf i've ever had, and she's no doctor. I think you guys made me realize that i am better off with my harajuku cutie then with any "equal". Two more weeks and she's back! It's weird... I had always "planned" on being with a doc, with my liberal views and all. With plans like that...who needs mistakes?
 
Acherona said:
I actually believe it is an unfair, maybe even selfish, stance to take at the outset of relationship, i.e. as an ideal. What motivaton would a man have to desire some abstact woman, his future wife, to stay home while he is the "primary breadwinner" except out of some weird machismo? He hasn't met her yet, he doesn't know what her beliefs and desires are. It grates on me to see "homemaker" being a criterion for choosing a mate along with "beautiful, smart etc." It should really be irrelevant. It should be ASSUMED that both partners in a relationship will shoulder the child-rearing responsibilities and if a different sort of situation works out, that's great, but to specifically seek out a wife who prefers not to work is, in my view, bordering on the sexist because it is limiting a WOMAN's choice, not a specific person's. And it is a choice that has taken women a lot of time and effort to gain and should therefore be treated with the utmost sensitivity. The fact that many men still seem to hold this view (if it were only a few, who cares) is indicative of a fundamental societal problem and only serves to reinforce the paradigm of the traditional American family.

Let me get this straight. A man who is looking for certain qualities/characteristics/values in a woman which you do not hold is somehow limiting your choices?

Christ. What the hell do you define as choice? Dictating to a man what he is permitted to look for in a mate? Or does choice only apply to women in your feminist utopia of male serfdom?

Men shall have no desires, except those given to them by women, is it? Nay, not even women, but given to them specifically by YOU? Hey, just tag it with the title "equality" and we're all sure to buy it!

What kind of circus freak-show wonderland are you living in?
 
stinkycheese said:
I'll try to dig one up. I may have the numbers wrong on years, but I have read many times that marriage adds to a man's life but does not add, and in some cases shortens, a woman's life.
I'm going to hazard a guess that the correlation is not between marriage and a decreased lifespan, but between childbirth and a decreased lifespan, as it takes a toll on the body. Even still, women don't seem to be making out too badly on that front, as they still live longer than men.
 
stinkycheese said:
Thank you for asking. Emotional intimacy opens a person up to discoveries about themselves and the world that they may never have had without the other person's guidance. I believe that knowing someone so intimately is a gift and is to be cherished. It allows you to think about things in ways you haven't before, to learn another's history, to share the future, to share the present... to see another point of view in the most intimate way, to expand your family, to learn about what is important to someone. Companionship, comfort, the sharing of love. These are all "reasons" to get married. They have little to do with some hyped-up emotional picture I have in my head of what role my husband should play in our union, other than that I hope he is someone who can and will share of himself with me and love me, and encourage me to share with him and love him back.
That's all well and good, but I don't see "companionship, comfort and the sharing of love" as intellectual reasons - simply emotional ones.

stinkycheese said:
medstyle said:
If i were to be completely intellectual, i actually have no purpose for having a woman except sexual relief. I don't need her for anything else, truthfully. But I WANT a woman around me, needing me, because otherwise i have no one to give to that i care about.
Or because otherwise you have no way to feel like a big, important, strrroonnngggg man. Oh, medstyle, won't you protect me from the bogey men in the closet? You're my hero, you dreamy money-maker!
Instead, you bitched him out for not having completely intellectual reasons, but you don't either. Explain?
 
medstyle said:
I think you women are looking for "partners", not husbands. Thats cool, but I think its a sad day when women's progress means replacing family with a career. Most men actually maintain a career for their family. You don't want anyone to care for you? I think this is all a product of the degeneration of the American family. Do you realize that the only people who care about you 100% of the time is ur family? Not your boyfriend, or your best friends, just ur family. Your family should be willing to sacrifice anything for you and you anything for them. I think this marriage of convenience stuff is cold hearted and sterile. I guess this is american style love, complete with divorce over trivial issues, affairs which are acceptable because one party wasn't paying enough "attention" to the other, etc.

WTF is your problem? So, what...having a husband means a woman cant do crap for herself? That is basicaly what you are saying! So its fine then, for a man to "replace family with a career"? NO! What is wrong with a woman "maintaining a career for their family"? Tell me that...just what is so tragic and horrible about?! You are saying it is fine for a man to be the main support for the family, but if a woman does that then she is some kind of low-life! And that is the biggest load of BS I have ever seen! Just because a woman wants to be sucessful doesnt mean that it is a "degeneration of the American family"! In fact you have the wrong picture of american family! Take a look around, yes it is America, a free country, where people supposed to have equal rights and privlidges! You certainly don't seem to see that very well. I dont need a man "to take care of me", that isn't a good reason to get married. Marriage is about love, you get married because you love someone! I would get married for love, not so "a man can take care of me"!

medstyle said:
I was reading a story the other day, about this kid who was asked to give blood to save his sister. Eventually he asked as the blood was being drained "How long until I die?". He thought he was giving all his blood to her. That's love. Who would do that for you? Who would you do that for? I promise you this: no friend and no "partner" either.

Just because a husband isn't a freaking "breadwinner doesnt mean that he doesnt truly love his wife! So if a man and a woman meet and fall in love, but then the man finds out she makes more money and can provide more support for the family; that he will love her less? No. If he does then he needs to get his head out of his butt and accept that his woman can support a family!


medstyle said:
I guess if you don't have a close family and you've done everything on your own, maybe you don't see the benefit of having a marriage in the tradional sense. Maybe you're just too "intelligent". But some of us are still human and will fall short of your logic.

I have a pretty close family. And I have done some things on my own. You cant have people do every little thing for you! I had to buy my first car, but that doesnt mean that my family isnt close or that they don't love me! No I dont see the benefits of "traditional" marriage (aka very old fashioned sexist marriage). Yes, I know I am too intelligent...too intellegent to marry a sexist jerk who would insist that I stay at home!

medstyle said:
Anyway, i have the cutest, most fun gf i've ever had, and she's no doctor. I think you guys made me realize that i am better off with my harajuku cutie then with any "equal". Two more weeks and she's back! It's weird... I had always "planned" on being with a doc, with my liberal views and all. With plans like that...who needs mistakes?

So you think you would be worse off with someone who can provide some support for herself? It would be a mistake to marry someone who didnt want to be a housekeeper? Females arent stupid (as you aparently think they are) and they will see how sexist you are.
 
medstyle said:
stinkycheese...you did not grasp what i was i was attempting to say and instead skewed it completely. Do not be concerned: no one will ever mistake you for an intellectual in any capacity.

Its freezing outside, but I am sure its no colder than your lonely heart.

Are you for real? :laugh: A liberal woman who doesn't agree with you must be lonely and unintellectual? :laugh: You're a hopeless case.

medstyle said:
I think you women are looking for "partners", not husbands.
Same diff, to me, since I'm not against marriage at all. I would absolutely like to get married -- to the right person. But I'm not going to define myself by whether or not I do end up married.

medstyle said:
Thats cool, but I think its a sad day when women's progress means replacing family with a career.
Nah, that's not what women's progress means. Women's progress means a recognition of the idea that men should pitch in equally in the home and that both partners can have a career. I'm sorry you just don't get that.

medstyle said:
Most men actually maintain a career for their family.
Yeah, but there is also a sense of accomplishment, independence, and pride that comes from having a career. Women are entitled to that feeling as well. It can be very isolating to be home alone with children all day. Many women crave adult interaction. Men are not entitled to a more well-rounded and fulfilling existence simply because they have a penis.

medstyle said:
You don't want anyone to care for you?

:laugh: I don't need anyone to care for me, but I would like to be in a marriage/long-term relationship where my partner and I cared equally for each other.

medstyle said:
I think this is all a product of the degeneration of the American family. Do you realize that the only people who care about you 100% of the time is ur family? Not your boyfriend, or your best friends, just ur family.
Hmm, I don't think relationships are as clear-cut as you would make them out to be.

medstyle said:
Your family should be willing to sacrifice anything for you and you anything for them.
Are you willing to sacrifice a career for your wife's career? So that she can have the job she wants, and you can stay home? No? Why not? Aren't you willing to sacrifice anything for your wife? No? Then why should she? [sarcasm]Because she has a vagina, you say? <Slaps forehead> Ah!!! NOW I get it! All this time, thinking there was no good reason for a woman to have to sacrifice her career goals so that her husband could achieve his? You have finally put it into place for me. IT'S THE VAGINA! Vaginas aren't as good as penises! And they don't have hanging bits! [/sarcasm]

medstyle said:
I think this marriage of convenience stuff is cold hearted and sterile. I guess this is american style love, complete with divorce over trivial issues, affairs which are acceptable because one party wasn't paying enough "attention" to the other, etc.

Who said anything about a marriage of convenience? If anything, you men who want to find a bride who conforms to your standard of what a wife should be are looking for convenience. True love means wanting the person you are with to achieve all that they desire. Apparently, that just wouldn't be okay with you unless you find a woman who solely desires to raise a family.

medstyle said:
I was reading a story the other day, about this kid who was asked to give blood to save his sister. Eventually he asked as the blood was being drained "How long until I die?". He thought he was giving all his blood to her. That's love. Who would do that for you? Who would you do that for? I promise you this: no friend and no "partner" either.

I am sorry you seem to feel that the only way a relationship is valid is with a marriage license. I also don't know why you're harping on this "partner" thing, since I never said I was against marriage. But back to what makes a relationship valid: I suppose you don't believe that gay couples love each other the way hetero couples do either, huh? Cause they don't have that precious marriage license (unless they live in MA)?

medstyle said:
I guess if you don't have a close family

Nice try on the low blow, but it didn't work. I am extremely close to my family. My parents are still married. I come from a traditional home. Isn't it just shocking that someone who has a close family could *gasp* ever grow up and become a big bad liberal who believes in gender equality? :laugh:

medstyle said:
and you've done everything on your own, maybe you don't see the benefit of having a marriage in the tradional sense.
No one said marriage wasn't beneficial. YOUR idea of a marriage, meaning the woman stays home and cooks dinner and wipes noses while the father works, isn't necessarily beneficial.

medstyle said:
Maybe you're just too "intelligent".
Probably. Damn those women, thinking they're intelligent.

medstyle said:
But some of us are still human and will fall short of your logic.
All liberal women have those stone-cold hearts, don't they? What kind of red-blooded American woman wouldn't want to spend every waking moment with a babe pressed to her bosom? Any woman who thinks otherwise is just... cooooollllllddddd.

medstyle said:
Anyway, i have the cutest, most fun gf i've ever had, and she's no doctor.
Well, everyone, let's call the parade coordinators.

medstyle said:
I think you guys made me realize that i am better off with my harajuku cutie then with any "equal".
Does your "girlfriend" know that you don't "consider" her an "equal"?

medstyle said:
Two more weeks and she's back! It's weird... I had always "planned" on being with a doc, with my liberal views and all. With plans like that...who needs mistakes?

You gotta hand it to the man... he can still overgeneralize with the best of 'em.
 
Top