You came in at 11pm last night with a chief complaint of sore throat while munching on a sandwich at triage. Next time you choose a sandwich to bring with you to the ED, try something that will go down easier. Peanut butter and Jelly while Im sure was very tasty, made my ENT exam, well a bit difficult. But alas, we did get through it and I got to see your very normal throat. While I was tempted to leave the diagnosis of no real complaint on your chart, after envisioning my directors review of yet another unbillable chart I went ahead and replaced it with sore throat. Your chart will be coded with a maximum of billing incompetence by our billing company. In their defense, they follow archaic laws meant to break my balls and keep money out of my pocket. I wanted you to know one last thing. Its ok you dont really have to pay that bill. There will be no consequences. If it arrives at the (fictitious?) address supplied by you, you can chuckle as to how we could possibly charge $350 for doing nothing. I wonder if giving you a depot of 2ccs of Bicillin into your deltoid would have made us both more satisfied. In the end, you provided for yet another priceless moment in this stage we call the ER.