A letter to my patient from last night...

[stiffany]

Thats what I think the pain scale is supposed to be. I called my labor-pains (no pain meds) a 6 or 7 which surprised my nurse.

You're a much better woman than I! I considered my IUD insertion a 7 or so (Excruciating, kill me now kind of pain - After of course both the resident and attending assured me it wouldn't hurt at all)- I'd imagine no pain meds delivery would top out at the 10 level for me based on observation alone.

I think pain scales have to remain subjective for those of us that don't fit the "tough" description. Unfortunately, they're often misused by idiots in our nation's ERs. Anyway, carry on...

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[caroladybelle]

You're a much better woman than I! I considered my IUD insertion a 7 or so (Excruciating, kill me now kind of pain - After of course both the resident and attending assured me it wouldn't hurt at all)- I'd imagine no pain meds delivery would top out at the 10 level for me based on observation alone.

I think pain scales have to remain subjective for those of us that don't fit the "tough" description. Unfortunately, they're often misused by idiots in our nation's ERs. Anyway, carry on...

There are days when I want to say, a stubbed toe is a "3". A "ten" means that we just castrated you with a pen knife.

Now tell me again, is your pain really a "10"?

(SORRY, BAD SHIFT AT WORK)

 

[dpmd]

When I was nursing I used to explain the pain scale, then ask the patient what the numbers would mean to him. This meant that one guy might call his pain 4/10 but would want pain meds at 2/10. Another might call it 7/10 but not want pain meds until 8/10. People vary in their ability to truly judge their pain, and their desire to deal with pain. I don't necessarily want to cater to the druggies, but if my patient claims his stubbed toe is giving him 9/10 pain (and acts accordingly, not sitting there reading abook or watching TV), I will be inclined to drug him up a bit. This may have something to do with my own experiences where my pain response exceeded that of what normal people experience, and I was insufficiently medicated. I sympathize with my fellow wimps.

 

[BADMD]

There are days when I want to say, a stubbed toe is a "3". A "ten" means that we just castrated you with a pen knife.

Now tell me again, is your pain really a "10"?

(SORRY, BAD SHIFT AT WORK)

A couple of nights ago I was getting annoyed at everyone's "10 out of 10" pain. This guy was sitting there comfortably with 10 out of 10 back pain.

So I ask "Is this pain the worst you can imagine?"

"Oh yes doctor. The worst ever."

"So if I poured boiling oil on your legs, this pain in your back would be worse?"

He pauses, "Yes."

"Really, this pain is worse than boiling your legs in oil."

"Well, since I got shot, I can't feel my legs."

You couldn't have written it any better.

 

[Jeff698]

"Really, this pain is worse than boiling your legs in oil."

"Well, since I got shot, I can't feel my legs."

Sometimes, the only thing left to do is surrender.

"OK, you win. Would you like a work excuse with your vicodin, sir?"

Take care,
Jeff

PS, way back in my era of 'youthful indiscretions' I was a volunteer firefighter. I was responding in my girlfriend's car to a fire when I got pulled over a motorcycle cop, jack boots, mirror sunglasses and everything. I almost peed on myself with glee as he struts up to my car and asks, I **** you not, "where's the fire, son?".

It just doesn't get any better than that.

 

[killerleaf]

ok, just have to throw this in...sorry..

a good friend is a retired police officer, and always tells this one on himself:

something of a smart alec, he stopped a car on the interstate going way over the speed limit. Walks up to the car, and asks, "May I see your pilot's license?" (smirking at the time). Was totally flabbergasted when the driver handed him his pilot's license. He worked for American Airlines. "Thank you sir, please slow down from now on, have a nice day" and slunk back to the police car......