A Mother in Med School? Impossible?

[shellshock]

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am hoping to get accepted into med school for 2006. Has anyone out there gone through med school as well as raising two young children. One will be in kindergarden and the other in daycare on the first year. I am maionly concerned with time. Will I ever get to spend time with my kids? What might I expect? Also, I have been out of school for 4 years and have only had 1 month to brush up on my MCAT which I will be taking in April. I haven't even taken an Organic 2 course yet. How badly do you think that this will affect my overall score. Other than that, I feel fairly well prepared and I am a really good test taker.
Any thoughts (mainly about the mommy in med school thing)?

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[MollyMalone]

You certainly aren't the first, I'm sure you will be in excellent company. You may want to post over in the Non-trad forum, might get more response there. Best of luck to you, you CAN do it!

 

[virilep]

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am hoping to get accepted into med school for 2006. Has anyone out there gone through med school as well as raising two young children. One will be in kindergarden and the other in daycare on the first year. I am maionly concerned with time. Will I ever get to spend time with my kids? What might I expect? Also, I have been out of school for 4 years and have only had 1 month to brush up on my MCAT which I will be taking in April. I haven't even taken an Organic 2 course yet. How badly do you think that this will affect my overall score. Other than that, I feel fairly well prepared and I am a really good test taker.
Any thoughts (mainly about the mommy in med school thing)?

that's a pretty big hurdle you have there. but then again, what are hurdles made for? --- to be jumped over. There aren't many mom's in school but it is possible and I've heard of it happening. Do you have maybe someone to watch after them if you're studying late at night or have rounds to do?

about the organic chem thing- don't worry about it, you can still do well. just study the rules don't memorize the reactions for orgo 2nd semester (this saves TONS of time).

gluck.

 

[Mutt]

You should probably take a practice MCAT to be sure of how well you might score, having enough time to study might be more beneficial if the practice MCAT doesn't score as highly as you might like.

 

[tigress]

Hey! Lots of people are mothers in med school. If you go on the allopathic forum there are quite a few mothers. My husband and I are hoping to have a baby in the next year before I start med school (he's currently in first year), and although I think it will be hard, I'm sure it's possible. I know a few women who have done it. One important thing is to go to a school that is more accepting of these things, and where you don't necessarily need to go to class. Some schools are very organized and have lectures posted online and give out good notes, while others aren't like that. And some of the more competitive schools are probably less understanding when it comes to having kids.

But for sure there are plenty of people who do it. I've actually heard some people say they think it helped them, because they had a focus outside of school and didn't get too caught up in grades and things, and also they knew they had to organize their time wisely, so in the long run they were much more efficient.

Good luck on the MCAT and getting in. I'm also taking the MCAT in two weeks I've looked into which schools are known to be more accepting of mothers/fathers, so if you want to PM me I could tell you what my thoughts are.

 

[Steiner]

Im in a similar situation. I have a 2 year old daughter and my wife is pregnant with another baby due this summer. I applied this year and didn't get in, but I plan on reapplying and will have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old when I do go. I have been in grad school the last two years with a child, and the time commitment to school is pretty demanding, I would think time-wise its similar to med school, although the material might be harder. It is totally feasible to be successful in both aspects, but you have to budget your time and probably sacrifice time spent with fellow students outside of school, but that usually isn't a problem for parents. Also, if you are married, discussing what the years in medical school will be like and what kind of commitment it will take will be helpful. Some schools have support groups for students with families and their spouses.

I took the MCAT also after years away from undergrad, and had to re-teach myself O-Chem. O-Chem 1 is enough to do well, just learn the basics.

 

[ms. a]

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and am a first year. It is definitely possible. Of course, it takes a lot of planning, day-by-day, a lot of organization, and many back-up childcare options lined up. For me, it helps having a wonderful husband who helps a lot and does the shuttling to and from day care. There are times when it is tough (two weeks ago, I got sick, my daughter got sick and couldn't go to day care, and my husband left town on a business trip - needless to say, it all went to h*** that week, but we recovered). Two girls in my class have had babies during this first year, and both are doing great.

No, there aren't tons of mothers in med school, but it's not like we're a rare collectors item, either. All the moms in my class have found different ways to deal with things, and all of them seem to be handling it fine. We don't go out and party with the rest of the class, but for most of us, that's fine. We'd rather be watching Beauty and the Beast with our kids on a weekend night, anyway.

Oh, and there are usually a lot more fathers than there are mothers in med school. A lot of these fathers say that having a kid in med school is no problem. Please don't flame me, because I know that being a father is stressfull and you hate to be away from your kids, but being a mother in med school is just harder. One of my classmates has to dash around during long breaks between lectures to find a place to pump milk for her newborn. I don't see any fathers doing that.

Please don't let that last comment deture you. Being a med school mommy is totally doable, as long as you are committed fully to both school and family (and give up any TV).

 

[Agent Splat]

One of the best doctors I know had her kids while she was in med school. I'm sure it's possible if you plan carefully and work hard!

Best wishes!

 

[SocialistMD]

I will be graduating with two women who came in to medical school as single mothers. There were several married mothers and quite a few classmates became mothers over the past 4 years, so don't let it discourage you.

 

[beanbean]

I am an MS2 with 3 kids ages 8, 6, and 1 1/2. My son was born two weeks into my MS1 year (big surprise!). I also used to pump milk on breaks and at lunch - it gets a little crazy sometimes!

Yes, it is a challenge; but it is also a joy. Having a family to come home to every night keeps me from becoming too consumed with school. I wouldn't change a thing.

As others have mentioned, you will need a strong support system and plenty of back-up plans.

With regards to the MCAT: I agree with the poster who suggested taking practice tests. The MCAT is like training for a marathon and endurance is key. I strongly recomend taking several full-length practice tests to get your timing down and see where your scores are. Don't take the test if you aren't ready; a poor score will cause stress and pain. If things aren't looking good for April just study hard and take it in Aug.

 

[scrappysurfer]

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am hoping to get accepted into med school for 2006. Has anyone out there gone through med school as well as raising two young children. One will be in kindergarden and the other in daycare on the first year. I am maionly concerned with time. Will I ever get to spend time with my kids? What might I expect? Also, I have been out of school for 4 years and have only had 1 month to brush up on my MCAT which I will be taking in April. I haven't even taken an Organic 2 course yet. How badly do you think that this will affect my overall score. Other than that, I feel fairly well prepared and I am a really good test taker.
Any thoughts (mainly about the mommy in med school thing)?

I know that it can be done because my mother did it. And you can do it successfully. My mother matched in optho. My aunt also raised 3 of the most well-adjusted individuals I have ever met. She is an MD/PhD who did the MD later in her career and now chairs a department.

She had me during her post-bac, my middle sister immediately before med school, and my littlest sister during her second year. Watching my mother graduate from medical school with 3 children in tow is one of my more vivid childhood memories.

I also know a 3rd year medical student who had a unplanned baby during junior year of high school. It is difficult, but she still manages to train for marathons and such things. She is an amazing person.

Make sure that this is what you want to do because if you decide that you are unhappy down the line, your kids go down with you. My mother was very unhappy with her career at points and really took it out on us. Her bitterness and short temper were far more devastating than her absenses. We are much closer now that she is happy with her career and doesn't take carry the burden of a job she hates home to her family.

The most important thing is to explain the situation to your children so they understand why you are gone so much. Should there be a father in the picture, it is equally important to sit down with him and explain exactly the way the process works. Moving for my mother's residency was nearly a marrige-ending event. I suspect that if my father had know what he was getting into ahead of time, he would have been more understanding.

 

[Megalofyia]

You should also check out mommd.com

 

[Revolution #9]

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am hoping to get accepted into med school for 2006. Has anyone out there gone through med school as well as raising two young children. One will be in kindergarden and the other in daycare on the first year. I am maionly concerned with time. Will I ever get to spend time with my kids? What might I expect? Also, I have been out of school for 4 years and have only had 1 month to brush up on my MCAT which I will be taking in April. I haven't even taken an Organic 2 course yet. How badly do you think that this will affect my overall score. Other than that, I feel fairly well prepared and I am a really good test taker.
Any thoughts (mainly about the mommy in med school thing)?

If you haven't started studying for the MCAT yet, you only have 16 days to prepare. Unless you are very, very smart, you may not do well enough to get into medical school this time around. Not only do you have less than adequate time to brush up on the old material, you have to learn an entire semesters worth of O-chem! This is a lot to do. Make sure you take a practice test or two (e-mcat.com, the first one is free). If you're not scoring 30 or better, you should probably wait until August. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

 

[Revolution #9]

Make sure that this is what you want to do because if you decide that you are unhappy down the line, your kids go down with you. My mother was very unhappy with her career at points and really took it out on us. Her bitterness and short temper were far more devastating than her absenses. We are much closer now that she is happy with her career and doesn't take carry the burden of a job she hates home to her family.

What an amazing bit of advice. I know EXACTLY what you went through, as I went through the same thing. To the OP: If at any point in your medical journey you decide you are unhappy with what you are doing, PLEASE don't take it out on your kids. They will remember it for the rest of their lives.

 

[Ypo.]

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am hoping to get accepted into med school for 2006. Has anyone out there gone through med school as well as raising two young children. One will be in kindergarden and the other in daycare on the first year. I am maionly concerned with time. Will I ever get to spend time with my kids? What might I expect? Also, I have been out of school for 4 years and have only had 1 month to brush up on my MCAT which I will be taking in April. I haven't even taken an Organic 2 course yet. How badly do you think that this will affect my overall score. Other than that, I feel fairly well prepared and I am a really good test taker.
Any thoughts (mainly about the mommy in med school thing)?

My mother went through medical school with five children under the age of 18. The youngest was 3 when she started. She centered the majority of her time on him. Since you are able to study at home a lot of the time, it can work out. You are definitely going to need to have some hours each day without them around that you can devote entirely to studying. Also, keep in mind that many medical schools allow you to spread the first year out into two years, so that its not as intense. This might be a good option for you, seeing as how your kids are so young. If you do the extended program, by the time second year rolls around, they should be old enough for preschool/kindergarten, and that will give you all the time you need to study. If you need more time before tests and such-all it takes is some organization and discpline-arranging to have your spouse or another family member or trusted individual care for them during that time.

About the comments of not taking the frustration out on your children-don't worry too much. My mom really wasn't able to be there a lot during my teenage years because of medical school. One time I wanted to talk to her about something that had happened during school and she told me to leave her alone (it was right before a big anatomy exam) - but most parents will do this from time to time no matter what their occupation- kids get over it. But, I can't even begin to describe to you what an inspiring experience it was watching my mom go through medical school. Before that she was literally a house mom who taught piano on the side. If it wasn't for her example, I don't think I would be going to medical school next year. So, basically, if you ever start to feel bad about not having enough time to spend with your children-just remember-its also about quality-not just quantity, and the example you are setting for your kids is great! Try taking them to one or two of your lectures and involving them in what its like to be a medical student. ie-tell them stories of what you did that day. Also remember that you'll be able to provide much more for your kids when you are a doctor than whatever job-level you are now currently at. I know so many parents who both work full time jobs or who don't have enough $ to get by...Anyways, if you have a supportive spouse-you'll be set-they won't feel neglected. Don't worry.

A side note-For those women who are thinking about having kids during medical school-I've been told that the best time to get pregnant would be during late third or early fourth year, and then taking a year off before starting the residency program.