Anxiety and depression

[ham29]

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. It was not severe enough to keep me from functioning (I graduated from college with a 3.9 GPA; however this was with a liberal arts B.A. - and have held down a full time job since). However, it has made making decisions almost impossible and I spend nearly all of my time thinking about what I want to do in the future without taking any action. I've been considering medical school since sophomore year of college but never took the science courses, except for gen chem 1 and bio 1.

Recently I was accepted to a post-bac pre-med program and I've pushed off starting during the summer due to my indecision. It's now at the point where I have to make a decision. My concern is that my anxiety and depression issues have been a lot worse since graduating college and I am afraid I won't be able to handle the pressures of the application process and medical school, especially since with the post-bac I would need to take all the science courses in one year. Science does not come naturally to me at all and when I took gen chem 1 I studied so much and still panicked before every test. I also have a lot of concerns about the impact that medical school will have on my ability to have children and get married since I am already in my mid-20's. I know I could just start the post-bac and see how I do but I am worried that given my indecision and depression I will not be able to focus and give it my all. My parents are also discouraging this path as they think I won't be able to handle the stress. Is it legitimate to have concerns about starting down this path with a history of depression and anxiety?

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[theseeker4]

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. It was not severe enough to keep me from functioning (I graduated from college with a 3.9 GPA; however this was with a liberal arts B.A. - and have held down a full time job since). However, it has made making decisions almost impossible and I spend nearly all of my time thinking about what I want to do in the future without taking any action. I've been considering medical school since sophomore year of college but never took the science courses, except for gen chem 1 and bio 1.

Recently I was accepted to a post-bac pre-med program and I've pushed off starting during the summer due to my indecision. It's now at the point where I have to make a decision. My concern is that my anxiety and depression issues have been a lot worse since graduating college and I am afraid I won't be able to handle the pressures of the application process and medical school, especially since with the post-bac I would need to take all the science courses in one year. Science does not come naturally to me at all and when I took gen chem 1 I studied so much and still panicked before every test. I also have a lot of concerns about the impact that medical school will have on my ability to have children and get married since I am already in my mid-20's. I know I could just start the post-bac and see how I do but I am worried that given my indecision and depression I will not be able to focus and give it my all. My parents are also discouraging this path as they think I won't be able to handle the stress. Is it legitimate to have concerns about starting down this path with a history of depression and anxiety?

Go see a psychiatrist. Definitely don't start anything major before you talk to one. To borrow another SDN member's saying, anxiety and depression are very poorly treated on anonymous internet forums.

 

[baxt1412]

agree. seek medical attention. you're completely justified in thinking that battling with what seem to be moderate to severe anxiety/depression while completing a post-bac/applying to med school would be tough... .because it would. doing either without the anxiety/depression is hard enough. help yourself by going and seeing a psychiatrist.

 

[doc-Oc]

cant you just test yourself? like for example take a full load of courses the first semester and see how well you do? if you do well then continue but if not then don't? im in a similar situation and i put measures to test myself.

 

[theseeker4]

cant you just test yourself? like for example take a full load of courses the first semester and see how well you do? if you do well then continue but if not then don't? im in a similar situation and i put measures to test myself.

Horrible idea to "test yourself" by putting something on your permanent record, when you know you need help. Get the help first, and THEN challenge yourself. Maybe it worked out for you, but that is a horrible idea and NOT something I would recommend to anyone who is depressed and concerned about their anxiety.....

 

[Hillo]

My personality type (INTP) is all about anxiety, depression, and not taking action (I'd get a mid-life crisis at least four times a year).

I seriously do not believe you should start the post-bac at this point in your life... especially if you're still panicking before exams.
It's like driving when you're mind is going crazy... the driving can wait.
Don't start anything you're not prepared for in this "burnt out" phase.

And I'm sure science doesn't come naturally to anyone... we all had to work at it.

Don't think about children because I know someone who's mother had her youngest when she was 45.

Imo, the best action to take is to 1) spend time with people who need help (to see if medical school is really what you want), 2) slowly take more difficult science classes in order to develop efficient note-taking and study methods (as well as healthy stress-relieving habits), 3) get to a point where you'd rather not do anything else than get into med school.

Please don't worry about the money (or others pushing you to be working on something) because your health and career are worth it.

There are free online courses as well -
https://www.coursera.org/courses?orderby=upcoming&cats=medicine
https://www.edx.org/course/kix/kix-kibehmedx-behavioral-medicine-key-1527#.U6OQP_ldWSo

 

[EyesOfTheWorld]

This is a very legitimate concern.

I have to echo the advice to go see a psychiatrist, a good one. Untreated medical conditions are dangerous on their own, and that's without the insane pressure of trying to get into medical school. You can be treated, it will most likely take a little trial and error though so don't give up. You need to get yourself healthy before putting even more stress on yourself. The road to medical school is, at times, dark and treacherous. Without a good support group I probably would have had several mental breakdowns resulting in who knows what horrible consequences, and I'm not even depressed just anxious.

Take care of yourself before you take on the burden of caring for others. You can handle the stress, I think most anyone can. But first you need a good support system, a well managed mental health status and coping mechanisms.

 

[EyesOfTheWorld]

Definitely see someone! Living with a mental health issue is unnecessary, we're pretty great at treating them now. It takes a few attempts to find the right meds, but once you find them and combine them with appropriate therapy you can greatly improve your life.

 

[ADAUC]

.

 

[ham29]

Since posting this, I started anti-depressants and therapy. I thought they were working, so I started a few classes. However I haven't been handling the additional stress very well at all, mostly because I am pretty socially isolated with studying all the time and trying to balance everything and can't decide whether to continue on this path. The anxiety of not knowing whether I will get in after all this effort, and knowing that it might kill my GPA for undergrad, which is currently pretty good and I could get into a master's program or something less intensive than med school but if I mess this up all those options go away...It's at the point where I cry on a daily basis and my heart is pounding from the moment I wake up.
Is there a point at which you recognize that you are just not cut out for this? Because I don't know what else to try at this point.

 

[Law2Doc]

Since posting this, I started anti-depressants and therapy. I thought they were working, so I started a few classes. However I haven't been handling the additional stress very well at all, mostly because I am pretty socially isolated with studying all the time and trying to balance everything and can't decide whether to continue on this path. The anxiety of not knowing whether I will get in after all this effort, and knowing that it might kill my GPA for undergrad, which is currently pretty good and I could get into a master's program or something less intensive than med school but if I mess this up all those options go away...It's at the point where I cry on a daily basis and my heart is pounding from the moment I wake up.
Is there a point at which you recognize that you are just not cut out for this? Because I don't know what else to try at this point.

The isolation and test issues and difficulty balancing things you currently face as a premed are nothing compared to what you may face as a med student or resident. I wish I could say it gets easier, but you are really still at base camp and Everest looms ahead. I would err on the side of taking advice from parents, friends and medical health professionals who know you best over strangers on the Internet. You can absolutely find anonymous strangers on here who will say "you can do it!", but if you are facing real issues, rather than just looking for a pep talk, you need to look elsewhere.

 

[NickNaylor]

Since posting this, I started anti-depressants and therapy. I thought they were working, so I started a few classes. However I haven't been handling the additional stress very well at all, mostly because I am pretty socially isolated with studying all the time and trying to balance everything and can't decide whether to continue on this path. The anxiety of not knowing whether I will get in after all this effort, and knowing that it might kill my GPA for undergrad, which is currently pretty good and I could get into a master's program or something less intensive than med school but if I mess this up all those options go away...It's at the point where I cry on a daily basis and my heart is pounding from the moment I wake up.
Is there a point at which you recognize that you are just not cut out for this? Because I don't know what else to try at this point.

1) Mention these things to whoever is treating you; I'm assuming that's a psychiatrist, but if not then whoever is. If you don't keep your physician updated about these things then they won't know that you need to change something.

2) Not everyone is made out for medicine. There are plenty of other enjoyable, fulfilling, and lucrative careers out there. If you're having this much trouble in college I would seriously reconsider the realities of going into medicine. College is a cakewalk in every respect compared to the rest of your training. If you still want to do medicine, then you need to focus on working to make yourself better and have that be your priority.

Good luck.

 

[pluto101]

I don't think it's constructive to think about this as "Am I cut out for med school?" The fact is, you need to get better first. If you had recently discovered you had a chronic illness such as MS, you'd want to learn how to manage your illness before tackling something stressful like med school. Depression is often a lifelong illness, but it can be managed.

Get well, then come back here. You can get this thing under control, and once you do, you'll have the tools to handle classes and med school.

 

[Dr Stephen T Colbert DFA]

Since posting this, I started anti-depressants and therapy. I thought they were working, so I started a few classes. However I haven't been handling the additional stress very well at all, mostly because I am pretty socially isolated with studying all the time and trying to balance everything and can't decide whether to continue on this path. The anxiety of not knowing whether I will get in after all this effort, and knowing that it might kill my GPA for undergrad, which is currently pretty good and I could get into a master's program or something less intensive than med school but if I mess this up all those options go away...It's at the point where I cry on a daily basis and my heart is pounding from the moment I wake up.
Is there a point at which you recognize that you are just not cut out for this? Because I don't know what else to try at this point.

Make sure you tell your doctor about how you're feeling. You may need to adjust your medication. It's still very early in your treatment - it takes time. Focus on your health first, medical school second.