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Any married applicants out there?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by Capitan, Apr 15, 2002.

  1. Capitan

    Capitan Member
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    I wondered what sorts of decisions about medical school those of us who are married are going to be making in the coming weeks. My wife is concurrently applying to law school, so we're in applicant hell. Fortunately, we've both been accepted to schools in Boston, me at BU and she at BU, BC, and waitlisted at Harvard (she's much smarter than I am). We're also both on waitlists at Penn and Columbia. So, it's going to be crazy fun trying to figure out what on earth we're going to do. Staying together is priority numero uno.

    If there are any other married applicants out there, I would love to hear about the decisions that you're going to have to make soon (living in different cities, job transfers, school decisions, etc.). At least it would provide a little moral support, so I can stop thinking that we're totally insane :) .

    Thanks!
     
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  3. faerichilde

    faerichilde Member
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    Hey, I'm not married, but my boyfriend is moving wherever I go next year, so I can understand what you are going through. I'm lucky because he's not trying to get into school somewhere nearby, and he works with computers so he should be able to find a job most anywhere. Still, there are certain places he'd rather be than others, and I am definitely taking that into consideration in my decision. Also, in some ways its stressful not knowing where we are going yet because that means he can't start looking for jobs and we can't start looking at apartments or anything. Still, I count myself lucky for having his support through the application process and knowing that no matter where I go, I won't be going alone.
     
  4. BamaFlip

    BamaFlip Member
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    Hey,

    I am getting married in June. I am in the exact same situation as you. My soon to be wife is getting accepted to nearly every law school under the sun (she too is much brighter than I, or at least a better standardized test taker). She is going to go to a far-less recognized school so that we may be in the same city and not have to commute while we both go to school. Isn't she the greatest <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" /> !!! The problem I have is that what happens in three years when she gets her JD and I am still an MS-4? Luckily, she is going to be ok with possible relocation if the match doesn't go our way. I love that girl to death!
     
  5. Capitan

    Capitan Member
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    bamaflip, out of curiosity where might the two of you end up?
     
  6. daisygirl

    daisygirl woof
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    I am married and am in a similar but different boat. I have been accepted to one school and this school happens to be eight hours (by car) away from home <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> . My husband is already settled in his career, so if this is the only school I get into, then this will be where I am going in the fall <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> . My husband has been really supportive of me and told me to do what makes me happy. I am awaiting the decisions of three other schools (where I interviewed at) and all of these schools are close to my home. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best, but in the meantime I'm preparing for the worst. However, I must say that I have a lot of faith in my marriage and my husband, no matter what happens :) .
     
  7. Capitan

    Capitan Member
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    best of luck daisygirl. I hope you're able to get into one of those schools that is nearby your husband.
     
  8. daisygirl

    daisygirl woof
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    Same to you and your wife :D
     
  9. gel1

    gel1 Senior Member
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    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Capitan:
    <strong>If there are any other married applicants out there, I would love to hear about the decisions that you're going to have to make soon (living in different cities, job transfers, school decisions, etc.). At least it would provide a little moral support, so I can stop thinking that we're totally insane :) .
    Thanks!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm having a very hard time deciding what to do. I have a $165,000 scholarship to go to a top school, but I also have acceptances to schools in the same location as my husband. He doesn't care about the money (it will be his debt as much as it is mine) and he only wants to be together. It would only be 2-4 years apart, but that is too much for him. So I am leaning towards the local school even though it means a debt of $140,000 rather than $25,000 total. I wish I knew what the best solution would be.
     
  10. EpiII

    EpiII Senior Member
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    My wife and I are 30. We both have good jobs, they could be career jobs. When we talked about trying to get into Med School, I said that if I took the MCAT, etc., I needed to know that she would be fine going anywhere to do this. If she was not fine, then I would not pursue this desire. She said that she was fine (although hoping that she would not have to quit).

    We are almost two years from that decision and I have been accepted at two schools (UCSF and UC Davis) that are within commuting distance (at least here in CA) from Modesto where she has a faculty position at the community college. We know that we are extremely fortunate and feel very blessed.

    Two years ago, we were actually looking at the medical school in Beer Sheva, Israel as a possibility since we had no idea how well I would do on the MCAT or how the schools would see my application.

    If I go to UCSF, my wife will probably stay with her mother Mon-Wed evenings near her work and then she will drive home Thursday afternoon until Monday morning (she will only be teaching M-R).
     
  11. Twizz

    Twizz Junior Member
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    I am getting married in August and will be going to medical school while my husband will be attending seminary school. I was planning on going to medical school somewhere in the Northeast but my husband plans on going to school in the midwest. As you can see we have a bit of a dilemma. But we trust that God will help us through it all. Hang in there and everything will happen for the best. :)
     
  12. Aggiemaj

    Aggiemaj Member
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    I got married in January, and my husband plans to relocate wherever I am accepted. He is in the landscaping business, so we are hoping he can find a job wherever we end up.

    Everything happens for a reason ... when you're really stressed or frustrated, just remember that!
     
  13. Wednesday

    Wednesday Senior Member
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    This is a great thread. It's nice to know that there are other people out there going through this too.

    The whole family thing makes the application so much more stressful! My partner and I were trying to coordinate med school and residency match! Since staying together was the only option (in my opinion) all decisions had to be made by the middle of February. Not so easy in light of the AMCAS disaster. Although I did get onto several waitlists, which are virtually worthless to me due to the timing of acceptances off the waitlist, I was lucky enough to get an outright acceptance in January. And oddly enough, I think the school I got into will be the best fit for me. Oh yeah, and the match worked out for us too, so we will definitly be in the same town next year.

    I feel that even though I don't have as many options as a lot of the younger/unattached applicants, I am very fortunate to have a support system already in place. Med school seems like a such a stressful, exhausting experience, having your biggest fan right in your own house is going to make a big difference.

    Good luck to everyone.
     
  14. mma

    mma Senior Member
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    Hi Everybody,

    My husband and I were married last June after five years together (three of which were long distance). Although not planned, our timing is working out pretty well--he is currently ABD and working on his dissertation proposal. So, he will be writing his dissertation when I start school this Fall.

    He has been so supportive and so grounding. Even though my first choice school, Baylor, is not in an optimal city for him, he has been championing Baylor's cause from the very beginning. While we have the option of going back to Harvard, where he would access to much better libraries for his field, he knows that I would be happier in Houston. He says he is selfish--he's happy when I am, so Houston is the only choice for him.

    It is a different animal when you are applying to medical school with another in tow--different priorities emerge. You realize that you need to make two people happy. And you also realize how wonderful this responsibility is, despite its challenges.

    Good luck, everybody!

    mma
     
  15. indigo23

    indigo23 Junior Member
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    I also think this is a really good thread. My boyfriend and I decided before the application process began that our priority was to be together. It made the whole process more stressful since we both wanted to go to med school. We ended up being really lucky and both got into UPenn (thank god!). I really agree with mma-- it is totally different to apply with two people's happiness in mind. I hope everyone ends up together...
    I also wonder how many of you worry about how the huge time burden of medical school will affect the relationships...
     
  16. i wish my boyfriend and i had applied at the same time, but i wasn't ready. he's a first year now, and i think i'll probably end up in another state next year. :( if it's possible, he'll try to transfer after his second year, though. anyone know anything about how hard/easy it is to transfer to uf/usf/tulane/wake forest?

    about being in a relationship while in med school, it hasn't been that bad at all. i've seen him a bit less, when he's at the library, etc., but he does a lot of studying at home (we got a 2 bedroom so he could have a quiet study). some of his fellow classmates haven't fared as well in their relationships, though. i think it depends on how well you handle stress and time management and how supportive your partner is. good luck to you all!
     
  17. Dr. Geoff

    Dr. Geoff Mzungu
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    Just a quick question when your on the topic of marriages. If your finacee was already attending a graduate school that you were apllying to (Their Early Assurance), would it increase your chances of acceptance perhaps? Just a thought...

    Jeff
     
  18. mma

    mma Senior Member
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    I think schools like to hear concrete reasons why you would go to their school--having a fiancee attending the school is definitely a concrete reason.

    mma
     
  19. rajneel1

    rajneel1 Senior Member
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    great thread. i too got married last year, two weeks after graduation. i used all of our wedding money applying to medical school. that sucked. my husband told me that i could go anywhere that i wanted and i did get into a lot of out of state schools. but he is state bound because of his job and graduate study plans. he was willing to spend 4 years away from me. ek!
    i was very lucky however because the one california school i got into happened to be a school i really really liked, close to where we live, and very close to his graduate program. i know only being close to him would make me happy. i mean, who else will carry my books to the library??? hehehe
     
  20. lighthouse

    lighthouse Member
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    My fiance and I were planning on getting married this June. However, she ended up having to student teach in the fall and got placed far from where will be. We ended up scheduling our wedding for December when she finishes her student teaching and I finish my first semester. She's looking for a teaching position somewhere near the med school for after December. Although it stinks having to wait another six months, it seems a lot better to actually get to live together and see each other after we get married.

    Good luck to all you married or engaged out there. Sounds like most of us have some awesome spouses (or future ones)!
     
  21. Green912

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    I'll be applying to all of the Ohio schools this year, but I'm hoping for NEOUCOM or Case. That way my wife can stay near her family & friends and not have her life disrupted too much. Overall I'm trying to plan things without having to move, but that's looking like a long shot.
     
  22. Chnobli

    Chnobli Member
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    Hello everyone,
    I thought that this was a great post, and I was going to tell you about my dilemma, but just yesterday I got into my dream school (UCSD) where my husband and I live, so most of our problems are solved!!

    If I were not accepted at UCSD, I would have moved to NY alone, and my husband would have waited some time since he just recently started a new job in San Diego. After some months he would have tried to find a job on the East coast and joined me.

    I am sure glad that we don't have to go through this but for those of you who have to do something like this remember that somehow it all will work out!

    Good luck to everyone!

    Chnobli
     

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