Just out of curiosity, why do you assume that the people in this forum are admissions experts? We don't know what about our personal statement (that we don't even remember) got us in, or how we can make you stand out exactly like we did. You would be much better off having your pre-med advisor read it, or even your parents who will have unique insights on your experiences and how to best illuminate them to the adcoms. You may find someone here who has the time to read it, but there's no reason to think they'd do any better job than someone in pre-allo or the people I've just described. The best you can expect form anyone here is grammar checking, and I'm sure the pre-allo kids are a lot better at it than we are. Good luck!