Any Non-Traditionals (parents) Find Help w/ Tuition?

Discussion in 'Medical Students - MD' started by FDMedic, Jun 12, 2012.

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  1. FDMedic

    FDMedic 2+ Year Member

    Jul 12, 2009
    Hey all,

    I'm an upcoming MS2. I'm 30 w/ a wife and 4 children under 5 (yes, I've been a busy guy). Anyway, my wife is a nurse, but daycare is MURDERING us and there is likely little financial difference in my wife actually holding a job or staying home with the kids. I was wondering if anyone has been able to find assistance with tuition/living expenses??

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  3. If there really is a minimal difference in daycare and her staying home, why doesn't she just work part time on weekends for the next couple years?

    What about working nights? At least this way, you could spend some time each day at home (assuming you can skip lectures this year)

    Have your parents help out?
  4. DPT2DO

    DPT2DO 7+ Year Member

    Sep 22, 2008
    New England
    Also an upcoming MS2 with a wife (nurse) but only 1 child, and hopefully more on the way. She has stayed home since he was born - we've lived off the max for loans, which works out OK since I'm at a state school. I have the school insurance option, while they both have medicaid insurance, which is pretty good in our state, and has saved us a lot. We could easily get public assistance via the WIC (women, infants, children) program, but have not found it necessary at this point, and may never feel comfortable using that resource.

    So I would say, see if your wife can stop working or work less and take advantage of state welfare/insurance programs. Between the two of you (doctor and nurse) and probably your children, you'll end up giving back far more than you'd take from the system (if you have moral qualms). I'd rather live bare bones and have the kids home, than have a little extra money but send them off to day care.
  5. PostHaste

    PostHaste Eye Roller 5+ Year Member

    Jun 7, 2010
    Technically student loans only cover daycare expenses if the spouse is working or in school full time. I'm guessing that if you're looking for more money than your COA then you're going to have to look at odd shifts for her or private loans.

    As the mother of 2 boys under 5, there's a snowball's chance in hell that I will be attempting to watch kids while studying. I would get nothing done; I'd spend the whole day yelling "Stop hitting your brother!" "Stop hitting the dog!" "Stop beating the garage door with a bat!" "Stop pouring woodchips in the AC unit!" And so on, ad nauseum.
  6. Oxer45

    Oxer45 2+ Year Member

    Feb 26, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2012
  7. Untraditional

    Untraditional Making bad career decisions since 2003 5+ Year Member

    Nov 22, 2009
    Depending on what options you have for acceptances some schools will provide cheap on-site childcare in the associated hospital.

    You could also ask for a COA adjustment to cover childcare costs if you're interested in extra student loans.

    If you're involved with some kind of faith community local churches usually have a cheap childcare option.

    You could move near family and maybe pawn them off on grandma a couple days a week.

    The wife could work weekends? That way you'd only need a few days childcare a week.

    And +1 for getting a vasectomy. You're going to be MS2 at 30 with 4 kids? My God, I thought I was nuts for doing this at 30 with a dog.

    Someone in this thread mentioned welfare. That might be the cheapest option. Have the wife quit her job and get on food stamps...
  8. Concubine

    Concubine PDE5 inhibited 5+ Year Member

    Nov 30, 2006, a little harsh for not knowing anything about this guy?
  9. Laboratorian

    Laboratorian Black Lab Rat 5+ Year Member

    Jul 18, 2010


    4 babies in daycare is insane. She should stay at home and put an add out for in-home special needs daycare. Being an RN she'll be the first one picked.
  10. Oxer45

    Oxer45 2+ Year Member

    Feb 26, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2012
  11. Lokhtar

    Lokhtar Dreaming about the lions 7+ Year Member

    Aug 6, 2007
    Some schools/hospitals have day care facilities - have you looked into that?
  12. batch5000

    batch5000 5+ Year Member

    Oct 19, 2007
    No need to snip it these days. Ever heard of oral contraceptive?

    Plus, you were way harsh.
  13. Geekchick921

    Geekchick921 Achievement Unlocked: MD Moderator Emeritus 7+ Year Member

    Nov 6, 2007
    Truth. You are smart to understand this now. Even attempting to study when my kids are home and awake just frustrates me to the point of tears. I have given up except for right before tests when my husband is good enough to take them upstairs and keep them both entertained up there for awhile. I usually just wait til they're asleep, though.

    Anyway, I suggest you ask your school directly. Mine was surprisingly easy when it came to increasing my living expenses for daycare. I had to fill out a form for my school and apply for the loan online with the amount I requested, and give the office at school a print-out from my kids' daycare with what I had spent there in the last 6 months. That was pretty much it. A few weeks later I got the loan money.
  14. FDMedic

    FDMedic 2+ Year Member

    Jul 12, 2009
    Wow! My apologies for just getting back to this. I mistakenly turned off my notifications and had no idea I was getting responses.

    For those of you that actually attempted to answer my question without being derogatory, thanks for the info. Many of the suggestions I have attempted. As for others with infinite unfailing knowledge about the universe and all things within it, thank you as well. I'm not sure how I have survived my fruitful 30 years on the earth without faithful forum members like yourselves.

    My biggest problem, and reason for seeking advise elsewhere, is with the financial aid department at my school. They are less than helpful.

    My wife desires to be a mother much more than she desires to be a nurse. Our next move will probably be taking them out of daycare and her working odd shifts. Our family isn't able to help, but we will work it out. My family is certainly my priority and I have been able to maintain a job thus far.

    Good luck to everyone and thanks again
  15. painmd87

    painmd87 Not a pain doctor 7+ Year Member

    Dec 6, 2008
    Find out if any fellow students have spouses who stay home. It is less reliable than a licensed daycare, but it should be less expensive.

    If your wife gets a full time job, see if you can set up a dependent care FSA to reduce your post-tax costs. Some employers even contribute (my wife's employer contributes $1 for every $4 she puts into her dependent care FSA - it's not much, but it's an extra $1,000, and it's pre-tax). I'm assuming you have done this at previous jobs, but it's a good idea if you haven't.

    Does your state offer childcare assistance? Depending on what your wife makes, you may qualify for reduced daycare.

    Increased loans are an option -- unhelpful financial aid people should eventually know how to answer your question. You're not the first family to go through, nor are you the first person to ask for more cash.

    Best of luck! PM me if you have further questions
  16. tigress

    tigress queen of the jungle 10+ Year Member

    Nov 29, 2004
    Another student mother here. My children's school is able to help out a bit with financial aid, and I take out maximum loans. Kids have Medicaid. But in the end it comes down to living incredibly frugally--absolutely nothing extra, basically. Even scrimping, though, I end up having to get help from family, especially at times like right now when my spring loans have just about run out and my fall ones haven't come in.

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