MD Anybody regret the med school they picked?

[I'minmedschook]

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Fatalis]

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

You aren’t there to make friends or fit in or be popular (although you will make friends, everyone does... and you are a Med student, chances are we’re you never popular at any stage of life lol). Your number one goal or your mission is to get that piece of paper and match into the speciality you want. Keep doing well in school and thank yourself on match day

 

[Yhwach]

COVID probably is a major factor with this. It's hard to meet alot of people right now.

Definitely keep trying. If you can try hosting small gatherings at your place.

 

[InFreudWeTrust]

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

I remember this feeling quite well.

It will get better. Part of what you're feeling is simply due to adjusting to a major life change (i.e. starting medical school in a different city), part of it may be due to COVID, and part of what you are experiencing/feeling may actually be due to picking the wrong school/location...

In the beginning, I remember going home to my SO, almost daily, saying "I really messed up...". Not only did I feel like I picked the wrong school, but I also felt like I picked the wrong city. I felt like a fish out of water: my classmates were all very different and it felt like high school, high COL, uncomfortable surroundings, etc. I dreamed about transferring elsewhere for a good portion of my M1 and M2 year.

The truth is that it's always easy to think that the other option may have been better. The grass isn't always greener, as they say. Even if the other option may have suited you better, the best choice for you is to go forward with a good attitude. As other posters have said: you're there to earn a degree...and time flies. I'm doing a research year and I can't believe it's almost November. When things head back toward normalcy, get involved in some activities in school and outside of school. The more involved you are, the faster time goes. And before you know it, you will, at the very least, be content with where you are.

But I remember a professor telling me that most medical students don’t find out if they picked the right school until at least 1-2 months in...so just know you’re not alone. It’s a common feeling. The good news is that you’re growing, personally and professionally.

Nothing is permanent. Graduation will be here before you know it.

 

[jmtbekm]

I’m from a very different background than most of my classmates, and isn’t hasn’t been easy making friends. I finally decided to just keep my head down and focus on studying and doing well, and slowly someone here or there will strike up a conversation in the hallway or in lab, ask to study together on zoom, etc. it does get better.

 

[Strawberrylover]

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

M4 here and I do feel this way sometimes. I chose the school because it was the most highly ranked out of all the other options I had.
But now that I'm here and comparing my experiences to those of friends at other medical schools:
-My school gave us WAY more extra work than other schools did. On top of M1-2 science classes, an ethics class, a class on shadowing other professions, another class, etc-which were fine on their own but with them came TONS of assignments that had little to no value but took up lots of time
-Certain blocks in our school had way more info than needed for shelf, or now that I think of it, for M3/M4 clinicals-they invited so many high-rated experts in the field, let them lecture us on arcane details and tested us on them all. And...high ranked school=tons of such professionals. I loved learning all the new things but being tested on it when we had so many other things like Step 1 studying to do?
-Grading at our school was much harder than at many schools. Ie, only top 5% get honors, only top 15% HP, the rest P.
-Very little flexibility in M4 scheduling. Tons and tons of requirements.
-Tons of gunners...people always comparing grades openly, putting others down, bragging about Uworld/Step scores. We had an anatomy class where half the class did half the dissections, other half did the other half of the dissections and profs left it to us to teach each other. I knew a few people, who NEVER wanted to teach me their half-even if I asked-yet begged me to teach them my half. If I made up an excuse, they found me in anatomy lab anyway, made me teach them, then scurried away refusing to teach me-later bragged to me how smart they were. I had a very hard time finding true friends. Even as a M4, probably only have 3 friends here-and I was a very social person and still am. People are just, fake-use you for convenience, that's all.

I've learned now not to value just school ranking...sure it matters...but take into account how happy you may be there. NOT just based off what students recruited by the school say-they will obvs. say good things-try to check SDN, talk to other students, etc.

 

[I'minmedschook]

Thanks for the input everyone. A bit nice to know I'm not alone.
I will try to take it all in stride and keep doing well in class.
Like someone said, I'm not here to make friends and I know this but if we're being honest, you kinda need someone here who understands what you're going through and to lean on, especially for me anyway since I'm far from home.
I remember messaging people in my class in the 1st few weeks after classes started or after our 1st quiz, just to be friendly and put myself out there... Just a simple "hey, how are you? Hope you're adjusting well..." kinda thing. They replied so there was hope but after that for a while, no one did the same for me, no one thought to check up on me.
Like I said, its better now, I've made some connections with some like-minded people so hopefully things will get better.

Again thanks for chiming in, helped me feel better to get things off my chest.

 

[jmtbekm]

Thanks for the input everyone. A bit nice to know I'm not alone.
I will try to take it all in stride and keep doing well in class.
Like someone said, I'm not here to make friends and I know this but if we're being honest, you kinda need someone here who understands what you're going through and to lean on, especially for me anyway since I'm far from home.
I remember messaging people in my class in the 1st few weeks after classes started or after our 1st quiz, just to be friendly and put myself out there... Just a simple "hey, how are you? Hope you're adjusting well..." kinda thing. They replied so there was hope but after that for a while, no one did the same for me, no one thought to check up on me.
Like I said, its better now, I've made some connections with some like-minded people so hopefully things will get better.

Again thanks for chiming in, helped me feel better to get things off my chest.

Just gonna put this out there, not criticizing. It seems like you were reaching out to people in the hopes that they would reach out to you...so you were giving to get, and when they didn’t, you felt disappointed and maybe a little rejected and lonely. While these are valid feelings, everyone in med school is stressed and focused on their own stuff, including you (hence feeling bad when no one reached out to you). I would suggest maybe trying again, but instead expecting nothing from anyone in return. Offer your friendship with zero expectations...it will be better emotionally on you, and probably result in lasting connections.

 

[I'minmedschook]

Just gonna put this out there, not criticizing. It seems like you were reaching out to people in the hopes that they would reach out to you...so you were giving to get, and when they didn’t, you felt disappointed and maybe a little rejected and lonely. While these are valid feelings, everyone in med school is stressed and focused on their own stuff, including you (hence feeling bad when no one reached out to you). I would suggest maybe trying again, but instead expecting nothing from anyone in return. Offer your friendship with zero expectations...it will be better emotionally on you, and probably result in lasting connections.

Thank you! Yea, I realize now it sounds that way but I really wasn't doing it with hopes to get that back. I basically just texted people who I felt like I connected with during orientation week, just putting myself out there so to speak. It was only after like the next exam, seeing people in post-exam meetups, etc that I realized this. It seemed people had already made their own connections which is fine and in retrospect, shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did.

 

[Fatalis]

I remember messaging people in my class in the 1st few weeks after classes started or after our 1st quiz, just to be friendly and put myself out there... Just a simple "hey, how are you? Hope you're adjusting well..." kinda thing. They replied so there was hope but after that for a while, no one did the same for me, no one thought to check up on me.
Like I said, its better now, I've made some connections with some like-minded people so hopefully things will get better.

Again thanks for chiming in, helped me feel better to get things off my chest.

That’s life in general. Not everyone has other people on mind/ as a priority. People will let you down and not always intentionally, it can be due to circumstance. I really didn’t make friends until ms2 and now as an attending I still talk with them at least once a week and stayed in touch constantly even during residency. You want quality at this point.

 

[readmypostsMD]

I’m from a very different background than most of my classmates, and isn’t hasn’t been easy making friends. I finally decided to just keep my head down and focus on studying and doing well, and slowly someone here or there will strike up a conversation in the hallway or in lab, ask to study together on zoom, etc. it does get better.

same here. haven’t made many friends yet and feeling sort of lonely sometimes. Maybes it’s covid isolation?

 

[jmtbekm]

same here. haven’t made many friends yet and feeling sort of lonely sometimes. Maybes it’s covid isolation?

It’s definitely possible, if nothing else, covid has limited most new classes down to groups of 40-50, so I’ve only gotten to know about a quarter of my class so far.

I’ve heard some people will get together with someone on zoom and study together...not out loud, but just studying at the same time, so you feel less alone.

 

[Tenk]

I regret what I had for lunch yesterday. Of course people regret other options, it’s normal. Just focus on the end goal. You’re not in school to be a med student, you’re in school to be an attending.

 

[Doctoscope]

I regret what I had for lunch yesterday. Of course people regret other options, it’s normal. Just focus on the end goal. You’re not in school to be a med student, you’re in school to be an attending.

What did you have?

 

[Tenk]

What did you have?

Tacos. Should have gone with the burrito because it was a night shift and I got hungry too early.

 

[hmockingbird]

I’ll be honest, I picked my med school to save $ and never quite felt like I fit in... it felt similar to high school to me. The area I lived in also had a culture that wasn’t for me. At the same time, it was actually a decent school. The admin and learning environment in general was really supportive (of course there were a few bad eggs but no place is perfect). I also was able to find some good friends after a few months. I ended up really liking my rotations and now have a job there. I lived in a suburb during med school and now live in the city which made a huge difference in cultural fit. I actually love living here now, though my ability to really form connections outside my job was limited due to covid happening within months of becoming an attending lol. Anyway I would suggest giving it time and just remembering you don’t have to be BFFs with everyone in your class. And consider changes to your environment if applicable— I wish I’d thought to move during med school!

 

[LunaOri]

Every waking minute. I am in hell.

So sorry to hear that! What makes it "hell"? Maybe we can help....

 

[frenchyn]

Definitely. Applying to a competitive program...and it ruins my chance more than help

 

[Redpancreas]

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

OP, I'm sorry you're miserable right now. I would be willing to bet COVID and all that comes with it is not helping. I would say that it's way too early to know if you chose the wrong school or even if medical school is right for you. What you've been exposed to so far is not even what medicine is about. I'm not sure what exactly is bothering you as it seems classes are going well. In terms of friends why are you limiting yourself to classmates. Everything's virtual now...stick with your previous online buddies. Regardless of what's bothering you be resilient and the key to doing that is being kind to yourself. Avoid comparing yourself to others and avoid triggers (social media) that get you feeling that way.

 

[Student189045]

I got caught up in the SDN prestige hype and turned down a lot of money to attend a highly regarded school. After hearing more and more that physician reimbursements are going to collapse I'm starting to regret my decision.

 

[Lawpy]

I got caught up in the SDN prestige hype and turned down a lot of money to attend a highly regarded school. After hearing more and more that physician reimbursements are going to collapse I'm starting to regret my decision.

where did you hear that

 

[Student189045]

where did you hear that

From talking to doctors and other professionals as well as lots of reading online I have gathered that:

A. The transition to single payer is inevitable, maybe powerful insurance companies can lobby against it for now but the US is absolutely moving in that direction sooner rather than later. I'm an M1 so I expect to be in a single payer system as an attending.

B. There is virtually no scenario where there isn't a sharp decline in reimbursements under a system where the government sets the rate and has to please the public. Cutting the overhead from private insurance is not enough to pay for a single payer system and politicians will have a much easier time cutting physician reimbursements than further raising taxes for all citizens. (AFAIK physician unions don't exist and might even be illegal in the US so there really is no negotiating power for fair reimbursements. They either accept gov rates or are out of a job. Feel free to correct me on this point if I am wrong)

And to note: I'm not trying to start a healthcare debate or even taking a stand on healthcare in the US, I'm simply stating what I've gathered.

 

[Redpancreas]

From talking to doctors and other professionals as well as lots of reading online I have gathered that:

A. The transition to single payer is inevitable, maybe powerful insurance companies can lobby against it for now but the US is absolutely moving in that direction sooner rather than later. I'm an M1 so I expect to be in a single payer system as an attending.

B. There is virtually no scenario where there isn't a sharp decline in reimbursements under a system where the government sets the rate and has to please the public. Cutting the overhead from private insurance is not enough to pay for a single payer system and politicians will have a much easier time cutting physician reimbursements than further raising taxes for all citizens. (AFAIK physician unions don't exist and might even be illegal in the US so there really is no negotiating power for fair reimbursements. They either accept gov rates or are out of a job. Feel free to correct me on this point if I am wrong)

And to note: I'm not trying to start a healthcare debate or even taking a stand on healthcare in the US, I'm simply stating what I've gathered.

Hey I was just curious, how much does physician salary contribute to healthcare expenditure in the US?

Back to OP's topic...I don't think you should worry about the future of medicine and add that to your list of worries.

 

[Student189045]

Hey I was just curious, how much does physician salary contribute to healthcare expenditure in the US?

Back to OP's topic...I don't think you should worry about the future of medicine and add that to your list of worries.

Unfortunately politicians don't care.
What pleases the public more, cutting salaries that have been falsely platformed as way too high or raising taxes? Just because physician salaries contribute 8% doesn’t mean there is no money to be gained from cutting reimbursements. The money to pay for nationwide insurance doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.

I’ve always heard that Medicaid and Medicare reimburse less than private insurance, so I don’t see any reason why the government would suddenly pay up just to please physicians that have no power to strike. There is no reason why the government would match current private insurance reimbursement rates when they hold every drop of power.

I don’t like this reality and I believe many physicians are actually underpaid, but I can't deny that it’s a possibility. I suggest anyone deciding to take out huge loans over a cheap option to consider this possibility as well

 

[Redpancreas]

How much do politicians not care?
What pleases the public more, cutting salaries that have been falsely platformed as way too high or raising taxes? Just because physician salaries contribute 8% doesn’t mean there is no money to be gained from cutting reimbursements. The money to pay for nationwide insurance doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.

I’ve always heard that Medicaid and Medicare reimburse less than private insurance, so I don’t see any reason why the government would suddenly pay up just to please physicians that have no power to strike. There is no reason why the government would match current private insurance reimbursement rates when they hold every drop of power.

I don’t like this reality and I believe many physicians are actually underpaid, but I’m not going to deny that it’s a possibility. I suggest anyone deciding to take out huge loans over a cheap option to consider this possibility as well

Suppose they go after that 8%, what are you changing about how you go about your medical career?

 

[Student189045]

Suppose they go after that 8%, what are you changing about how you go about your medical career?

Nothing at this point. I was just responding to OP's question by saying I'm concerned I made the wrong school choice due to the risk that paying off my debt will become substantially more difficult.

 

[Lawpy]

From talking to doctors and other professionals as well as lots of reading online I have gathered that:

A. The transition to single payer is inevitable, maybe powerful insurance companies can lobby against it for now but the US is absolutely moving in that direction sooner rather than later. I'm an M1 so I expect to be in a single payer system as an attending.

B. There is virtually no scenario where there isn't a sharp decline in reimbursements under a system where the government sets the rate and has to please the public. Cutting the overhead from private insurance is not enough to pay for a single payer system and politicians will have a much easier time cutting physician reimbursements than further raising taxes for all citizens. (AFAIK physician unions don't exist and might even be illegal in the US so there really is no negotiating power for fair reimbursements. They either accept gov rates or are out of a job. Feel free to correct me on this point if I am wrong)

And to note: I'm not trying to start a healthcare debate or even taking a stand on healthcare in the US, I'm simply stating what I've gathered.

Over half the country hates single payer and there's no chance it's going to be a law in decades when ACA itself is so controversial

What i think is happening is certain unpopular specialties (radonc is main one) is getting their reimbursements cut but most specialties continue to be popular. It's also impossible to predict market trends in few years so personally i'd just be more conservative with spending and save as much as possible. Other than that and smart investing, there isn't anything much to do sadly

 

[Redpancreas]

Nothing at this point. I was just responding to OP's question by saying I'm concerned I made the wrong school choice due to the risk that paying off my debt will become substantially more difficult.

Exactly, don't worry about it because it won't change things or being concerned. Just my opinion. Also physicians will be able to pay loans. Conversely to your situation, many students regret not choosing the expensive coastal private school billing 50K+ for tuition over their state school during the residency process. Try to capitalize on what you have going for you

 

[ChordaEpiphany]

You aren’t there to make friends or fit in or be popular (although you will make friends, everyone does... and you are a Med student, chances are we’re you never popular at any stage of life lol). Your number one goal or your mission is to get that piece of paper and match into the speciality you want. Keep doing well in school and thank yourself on match day

While you're not in med school to be popular, if you approach any part of this long, arduous journey with the attitude that it is just something to get through, you'll be miserable and miss out on some of the best years of life. I also have found that I'm much happier living a fulfilling life than I am racking up awards (though the two are not mutually exclusive).

I got caught up in the SDN prestige hype and turned down a lot of money to attend a highly regarded school. After hearing more and more that physician reimbursements are going to collapse I'm starting to regret my decision.

Way off topic, but worth noting a transition to single payer won't collapse physician salaries, though you could expect a 10-20% pay cut, most likely, and it's probably not even the best system for a country where half the government and the people are willing to cut just about any public service for a $100 tax break. The #1 thing people misunderstand about M4A or any other policy proposal to fix US healthcare is that the US healthcare system is fundamentally different from European healthcare systems beyond just insurance. So people like to make exaggerated claims about how we're going to be making German physician salaries as soon as universal healthcare goes through, but it's just not possible. This boils down to a few things.

1) Physician density is way lower in the US compared to Europe. This drives salaries far more than the reimbursement system.
2) The training pathway is longer, and you won't attract decent people to the field without high salaries (must overcome opportunity cost of debt + years of lost salary/investment capital).
3) American exceptionalism. Everyone wants the best care, even if it's more expensive. When it comes down to it, by the raw numbers Americans happily pay more for healthcare when they see it as better.
4) There is a large European vs. American salary gap in any field, even in countries with comparable GDP/capita.
5) Hospitals are very organized and growing more powerful. They have plenty of negotiating power with CMS.

IMO, what needs to change is the volatility of our current system. People don't like the idea that getting hurt could bankrupt you. I think that's a reasonable take. With an individual mandate, expanded medicare, and a better subsidy system for the middle class (like Obama wanted) and also with reforms on how/when insurance can deny coverage (e.g. surprise billing from out-of-network providers), most of people's actual qualms with healthcare will be placated. This seems far more doable and more likely to pass in the US, especially after lawmakers saw the disastrous results of Green Mountain Care in Vermont. Add in a public option to bring prices down to reasonable levels and we're golden.

As the title says.
3 months in, I just feel like I made the wrong choice for med school.
I know its a done deal for the next 4 years but if you've felt this, how did you make it work?
I feel like I don't fit in at all, I'm different (can't really elaborate or say the school as it may give up my identity... Maybe).
Had an intense bout of really hating it here 4 weeks ago, brought me to tears. I'm much better now but ever since then I've thought to myself every single day "Damn I fcuked up" about not picking the other school. Gets worse when I see posts of a friend who is in the other school.

I've made some friends.
Maybe its COVID isolation in addition to the med school isolation.
But I feel that its not just that... Can't put my finger on it.

My one solace is that I'm doing really well in my classes and hopefully will continue to do so.

But at the same time, is it just a grass is always greener on the other side and maybe I would feel the same if I had chosen the other school.

Just ranting.

OP, FWIW, if my program was the way it is now because of COVID, I would hate it. I loved my program prior to this ish, and I expect I'll love it again once society has returned to some semblance of normal.

 

[I'minmedschook]

Hi all!
Came back to this thread since I'm done for the semester.
Thanks everyone for the advice and online comfort/hugs.
I still feel the same about my choice but it is what it is LOL. It gets worse after exams when I see classmates in their friend groups hanging out, celebrating the end of exams 🤷🏾‍♀️.
But I'm fine. Its all good.

Hope everyone is staying safe and happy holidays!

 

[goldsummer]

I kinda felt the same in med school. I think most people do especially at first. You're not the only one. The feeling persisted throughout all 4 years for me but I ended up with some good friends and experiences along the way. Just focus on what you're there to do. Cause no matter if youre an outcast or super popular, or anything in between; in 4 years from now, none of it will matter anymore and there will be a new social setting and group to adjust to. And then itll all change again after residency.

 

[Nugester]

Can't regret the only MD school I got in to =).

 

[Osteosaur]

I'm happy with my school.

And you're doing well with your classes. That's why your here and that's all that matters.

But look, a few things to keep in mind:
-Its COVID. You will feel isolated anywhere
-Its professional school. Are you going to dorm together and forge memories of being passed out on your friend's unmade bed drinking warm beer? No.
-You can make friends anywhere. The people you complain about exams to will be gone third year and you'll make new friends on the wards and they will go away too. Or you'll stay in touch with a few cool people. This is all adult friendships.
-Find some buddies at school to play videogames with.
-"Fit" is an illusion. This is not really high-school or college anymore and you are not here for intimate friendships and socialization.