Anyone else here an embarrassment to their culture? How y'all doing?

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I'm 27. I won't be ready to start med school till I'm at least 30-31 because of how long it's going to take fix my absolute dog**** of a GPA.

To me that's old because I won't be able to get married, buy a house, or have kids till I'm 40. I know plenty of people do that during med school and residency, but I want to be able to provide a comfortable lifestyle for my kids and I think having children as a med student or a resident where you have no time or money is just irresponsible parenting. It's the kids who suffer. Many may disagree with me, but your opinion is your own, even if I don't agree with it.

Do I wish I did better in undergrad and not have a 2.0 GPA? Sure. I wish I could've used my 20s better for a lot of things. But I can't go back in time. I don't want to waste my 30s like I did my 20s.

To rub salt into the wound, I'm Indian-American. That's right folks. I'm that 1 Indian pre med who isn't a genius/pro musician/cure cancer/528 MCAT/4.0 GPA/valedictorian/Ivy league grad. I'm basically an embarrassment to my culture. And honestly there was a loooonngggg period of time where I hated myself for that.

I thought of myself as inferior because of the poor choices I made when I was young. Who knows, maybe I still am? By the time I'm an M1 most of my family friends' kids and my cousins who I grew up with will be attendings. I'm going to be the uncleji in med school.

But ultimately, I do love medicine. I love learning about the human body, and after what I went through with my dad, I want to make sure that I can help someone else's son who had to experience what I did. As someone told me "Your going to be 40 either way. You can't stop that from happening. The question is do you want to be 40 and be a doctor, or not?" I do.

To all the other oldies and fellow uncleji's on here.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like had you started med school at a more "normal" age?

Do you ever feel like your "behind" since your starting point is essentially the same as 23-24 year old kids?
 

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^ This is ABSOLUTELY not why you go to medical school.
 

premedbrah

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I mean ya it sucks knowing that I'll be starting my career WAY later than the rest of my friends. But who cares? At the end of the day you'll be doing what you (ideally) LOVE. If you're just doing it to prove something, then I've got some bad news....
 
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DocJanItor

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I'm an M1 and closer to 40 than 30, so I'll tell you what *wouldn't* have happened if I had immediately (and miraculously) gone into medical and didn't lead my life as it was.

1) I wouldn't have my MBA, which is probably one of the most useful degrees I've earned regardless of my actual field.
2) I wouldn't have met my amazing wife, because I'd be somewhere else.
3) I wouldn't have had time to meet a LOT of other women, most of whom had a profound impact on shaping me to become a decent husband. Some of whom were just awesome in other ways. ;)
4) I wouldn't have had a job where I got to travel the country meeting VIPs and staying in amazing cities and hotels. I also wouldn't have learned so much about business people, corporate america, or just how ****ty people can be for no good reason.
5) I wouldn't have been able to take off so much time when my dad was terminally ill. Not only was that valuable time personally, but it was extremely formative in directing me towards medicine.

My wife and I met not long before my father passed, and we discussed my becoming a pre-med. We agreed to do it, and she's been nothing but supportive, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't have been able to accomplish so much without her.

I don't envy your cultural issues, but then again I never fit in with what would have been my culture anyway, so I'll give you this piece of advice:

Stop comparing yourself to others. **** what they think about you. The only thing that matters is what you want to do, and how you're going to get there. If you don't have what it takes to be in medicine, that's fine, but it doesn't make you any less of a person. Go be the best at whatever you can do and make yourself happy.
 
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Just focus on how to improve yourself and don't look back :) I'm sure there are others out there that have the same circumstances with you. Reach out and make bonds with them. You'll be embracing a new culture with its own norms tailored to you. :soexcited:
 
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I don't envy your cultural issues, but then again I never fit in with what would have been my culture anyway, so I'll give you this piece of advice:

Stop comparing yourself to others. **** what they think about you. The only thing that matters is what you want to do, and how you're going to get there. If you don't have what it takes to be in medicine, that's fine, but it doesn't make you any less of a person. Go be the best at whatever you can do and make yourself happy.
Well if your not South Asian then you wouldn't understand. As far as our culture is concerned not having what it takes to be a doctor DOES make you less of a person. I'm already less of a person because I'm not remotely close to being an attending. I used to have a huge inferiority complex because of it, but I've just accepted myself for what I am and the fact that I'll never be as good as others. I really envy white people and their freedom from having no culture and therefore no cultural expectations.
 
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Just focus on how to improve yourself and don't look back :) I'm sure there are others out there that have the same circumstances with you. Reach out and make bonds with them. You'll be embracing a new culture with its own norms tailored to you. :soexcited:
Hard to find an Indian premed who screwed in life as much as I did. Believe me, i've tried looking. All other Indian-American premeds besides me are super successful intelligent people. I just hate not fitting in with my own culture.
 

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Well if your not South Asian then you wouldn't understand. As far as our culture is concerned not having what it takes to be a doctor DOES make you less of a person. I'm already less of a person because I'm not remotely close to being an attending. I used to have a huge inferiority complex because of it, but I've just accepted myself for what I am and the fact that I'll never be as good as others. I really envy white people and their freedom from having no culture and therefore no cultural expectations.
White people have culture, our culture is just based around personal freedom and happiness rather than familial obligations. It's an individualist culture versus a collectivist one.
 

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Well if your not South Asian then you wouldn't understand. As far as our culture is concerned not having what it takes to be a doctor DOES make you less of a person. I'm already less of a person because I'm not remotely close to being an attending. I used to have a huge inferiority complex because of it, but I've just accepted myself for what I am and the fact that I'll never be as good as others. I really envy white people and their freedom from having no culture and therefore no cultural expectations.
Dude, I was trying to give you some positive encouragement, but you can GTFO with that racist BS. By saying that, you're just proving that YOU don't understand other cultures. You have no idea how I grew up or what expectations were placed upon me.

You have two choices: You can play by their rules, be a baby, and forever whine about how you're not good enough. Or, you can make the best of the situation and actually accomplish something. Live life on your own terms. I honestly have no use for people whose entire self worth is derived from the approval of others. By "accepting" that you're not as good as others, you've just reinforced your inferiority complex.

All you've got right now is fear: fear that you'll never be good enough no matter what you accomplish. And absolutely nothing can be done with fear.
 

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Hard to find an Indian premed who screwed in life as much as I did. Believe me, i've tried looking. All other Indian-American premeds besides me are super successful intelligent people. I just hate not fitting in with my own culture.
I don't think ALL Indian-Americans would want you speaking for them. Don't you think?
 
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White people have culture, our culture is just based around personal freedom and happiness rather than familial obligations. It's an individualist culture versus a collectivist one.
Which is a much better culture. I hate being South Asian, but I can't change that sadly.

Dude, I was trying to give you some positive encouragement, but you can GTFO with that racist BS. By saying that, you're just proving that YOU don't understand other cultures. You have no idea how I grew up or what expectations were placed upon me.

You have two choices: You can play by their rules, be a baby, and forever whine about how you're not good enough. Or, you can make the best of the situation and actually accomplish something. Live life on your own terms. I honestly have no use for people whose entire self worth is derived from the approval of others. By "accepting" that you're not as good as others, you've just reinforced your inferiority complex.

All you've got right now is fear: fear that you'll never be good enough no matter what you accomplish. And absolutely nothing can be done with fear.
Yes I care about my family and my cultural circle. How horrible of me. But your right about fear. It's a work in progress. Ultimately I'm going to be 40 no matter what I do. So I can either be a doctor or not.

I don't think ALL Indian-Americans would want you speaking for them. Don't you think?
True, I just speak for 99% of them. I'm part of the 1%. I've always wanted to be a part of the 1%.....
 

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Well if your not South Asian then you wouldn't understand. As far as our culture is concerned not having what it takes to be a doctor DOES make you less of a person. I'm already less of a person because I'm not remotely close to being an attending. I used to have a huge inferiority complex because of it, but I've just accepted myself for what I am and the fact that I'll never be as good as others. I really envy white people and their freedom from having no culture and therefore no cultural expectations.
Ahh yes -- The caste system as transported to America.
 
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Yes I care about my family and my cultural circle. How horrible of me. But your right about fear. It's a work in progress. Ultimately I'm going to be 40 no matter what I do. So I can either be a doctor or not.



True, I just speak for 99% of them. I'm part of the 1%. I've always wanted to be a part of the 1%.....
How many South Asian people have you met? Have you met those who dropped out of med school to pursue the corporate world? Have you met those who started in the corporate world and later applied to med school at 40-50? How large is your "circle" of Indian-Americans?

I personally know quite a few Indian-Americans who were pre-med majors that didn't make it into med school. Now they are hoping from job to job. One of them is a full-time gamer/streamer. They are all happy and they are proud of being brown. The trend now is to pursue your passion. Wasn't Jack Ma who failed college acceptance exams three times and everyone made fun of him as a failure. Now, look at him and Alibaba. :bow:
 
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Which is a much better culture. I hate being South Asian, but I can't change that sadly.



Yes I care about my family and my cultural circle. How horrible of me. But your right about fear. It's a work in progress. Ultimately I'm going to be 40 no matter what I do. So I can either be a doctor or not.



True, I just speak for 99% of them. I'm part of the 1%. I've always wanted to be a part of the 1%.....
You can't change where you're from, but you can change your mentality. You're an American, you're free to be whatever the hell you want. Any feelings of being "lesser" are entirely in your mind, suffering of your own creation imparted on you by your family.
 

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P sure being in med school doesn't affect your ability to buy a house or get married, man. You can have a life.
 
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How many South Asian people have you met? Have you met those who dropped out of med school to pursue the corporate world? Have you met those who started in the corporate world and later applied to med school at 40-50? How large is your "circle" of Indian-Americans?

I personally know quite a few Indian-Americans who were pre-med majors that didn't make it into med school. Now they are hoping from job to job. One of them is a full-time gamer/streamer. They are all happy and they are proud of being brown. The trend now is to pursue your passion. Wasn't Jack Ma who failed college acceptance exams three times and everyone made fun of him as a failure. Now, look at him and Alibaba. :bow:

I haven't met many screw ups in the Indian American circles. All of my Indian-American family and friends are super smart and successful. I'm just.....different, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only screw up out there. And the Jack Ma example, while true, is a bad analogy. He was different person who grew up in a different country and a different economic climate. If Jack Ma was growing up in this day and age I seriously doubt he'd be able to create Alibaba. Everything is just too expensive and emerging technologies have already been established. The window for innovation and creating a new industry is closing rapidly.

You can't change where you're from, but you can change your mentality. You're an American, you're free to be whatever the hell you want. Any feelings of being "lesser" are entirely in your mind, suffering of your own creation imparted on you by your family.
Yea if only I was born in a culture where family didn't matter. Like I said, being South Asian sucks. Our culture is extremely materialistic and status driven. Why do you think so many of us go into med school or tech?

P sure being in med school doesn't affect your ability to buy a house or get married, man. You can have a life.
That's true. Living off student loans is the ideal time to get married and get a mortgage. You know, when you have no income whatsoever. And then in residency where you make as much as a school teacher but work 5x as much. Great time to do all of that for sure, thanks for letting me know man!
 
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Some people will judge you.

Get over it, or get the kind of job you see in office space.

To rub salt into the wound, I'm Indian-American. That's right folks. I'm that 1 Indian pre med who isn't a genius/pro musician/cure cancer/528 MCAT/4.0 GPA/valedictorian/Ivy league grad. I'm basically an embarrassment to my culture. And honestly there was a loooonngggg period of time where I hated myself for that.[/quote[

Subjectively: totally toxic

Your attitude is the biggest problem you have, its gonna screw up everything else in your life.
 
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harkas

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Hard to find an Indian premed who screwed in life as much as I did. Believe me, i've tried looking. All other Indian-American premeds besides me are super successful intelligent people. I just hate not fitting in with my own culture.
Don't flatter yourself. You're not the only one who doesn't fit in with their culture. If you seriously can't find anyone, then you haven't spent enough time with people who are different from yourself.
 
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astrostellar

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That's true. Living off student loans is the ideal time to get married and get a mortgage. You know, when you have no income whatsoever. And then in residency where you make as much as a school teacher but work 5x as much. Great time to do all of that for sure, thanks for letting me know man!
Ah, I see. You're one of those people who just likes to complain about things without offering solutions.
There is no ideal time to find someone and get married. Go ahead and wait until you're all squared away as a no-debt attending to start living your life. Seems like a plan.
Or, you could - whoa - get married before med school.

I don't know who told you that you need to have your career goals completed and have no debt before you find a partner, but man.
 
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I don't know who told you that you need to have your career goals completed and have no debt before you find a partner, but man.
Logic and common sense did. But of course this isn't something that traditional med students would need to worry about because their married lives and children will be comfortable unlike mine.

Don't flatter yourself. You're not the only one who doesn't fit in with their culture. If you seriously can't find anyone, then you haven't spent enough time with people who are different from yourself.
I know a lot of Indian-premeds. Not one of them screwed up as much as I did. They are all flawless human beings /s.


Some people will judge you.

Get over it, or get the kind of job you see in office space.

Subjectively: totally toxic

Your attitude is the biggest problem you have, its gonna screw up everything else in your life.
I love it when people who aren't South Asian and don't know what its like to grow up with South Asian cultural values say things like this. 99% of Indian premeds are flawless perfect geniuses. Being compared to them your whole life and not even being as remotely as successful as them definitely impacts your self worth. But your right in that I should get over it. It's a work in progress.
 

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Your family and cultural circle did a decent job raising you into a weak-minded and insecure individual.
 
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I love it when people who aren't South Asian and don't know what its like to grow up with South Asian cultural values say things like this. 99% of Indian premeds are flawless perfect geniuses. Being compared to them your whole life and not even being as remotely as successful as them definitely impacts your self worth. But your right in that I should get over it. It's a work in progress.
How meaningful is the contempt or for that matter the approval of extremely shallow, materialistic people?

99% of Indian premeds are flawless perfect geniuses"
Making sweeping generalizations about groups of people is often dangerous, sloppy thinking, regardless of whether those stereotypes are positive or negative.
 
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Your family and cultural circle did a decent job raising you into a weak-minded and insecure individual.
Haha maybe, but at least I have a cultural circle to begin with, even if I don't currently fit in.

How meaningful is the contempt or for that matter the approval of extremely shallow, materialistic people?



Making sweeping generalizations about groups of people is often dangerous, sloppy thinking, regardless of whether those stereotypes are positive or negative.
Well I'm Indian-American, so they aren't "sweeping generalizations". They're based on my real life.
 

Mad Jack

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Logic and common sense did. But of course this isn't something that traditional med students would need to worry about because their married lives and children will be comfortable unlike mine.



I know a lot of Indian-premeds. Not one of them screwed up as much as I did. They are all flawless human beings /s.




I love it when people who aren't South Asian and don't know what its like to grow up with South Asian cultural values say things like this. 99% of Indian premeds are flawless perfect geniuses. Being compared to them your whole life and not even being as remotely as successful as them definitely impacts your self worth. But your right in that I should get over it. It's a work in progress.
I've generally found them to be people like any other, hardly flawless, and smart but not more so than any other medical students.
 

Mad Jack

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Haha maybe, but at least I have a cultural circle to begin with, even if I don't currently fit in.



Well I'm Indian-American, so they aren't "sweeping generalizations". They're based on my real life.
I'd say it's probably better to have no family at all than one that tears down your self worth and self esteem, personally. Best to have one that supports you wherever your road leads, however.
 
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DocJanItor

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I'd say it's probably better to have no family at all than one that tears down your self worth and self esteem, personally. Best to have one that supports you wherever your road leads, however.
I think we've found the crux of the matter. He considers his culture/race to be superior to other cultures, even if it means that he's a moron among geniuses. He can't abandon his culture because then he'd have absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. If he's not an epic troll then he's an exceptionally misguided individual.
 

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I'd say it's probably better to have no family at all than one that tears down your self worth and self esteem, personally. Best to have one that supports you wherever your road leads, however.
Literally my entire childhood, adolescence, and home life whenever I visit home! :cryi: :cryi: :cryi: :cryi:
 
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Well if your not South Asian then you wouldn't understand. As far as our culture is concerned not having what it takes to be a doctor DOES make you less of a person. I'm already less of a person because I'm not remotely close to being an attending. I used to have a huge inferiority complex because of it, but I've just accepted myself for what I am and the fact that I'll never be as good as others. I really envy white people and their freedom from having no culture and therefore no cultural expectations.
As a generalization, this couldn't be more incorrect. Now, you could make the argument that the cultures shared among white people can be more varied than others, but to say that we have no culture is quite preposterous. As DocJanitor pointed out above, everyone comes from a different, distinct background with separate types and levels of expectations, which includes people of all races and ethnicities.
 
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I've generally found them to be people like any other, hardly flawless, and smart but not more so than any other medical students.
Like I said, all cultures have failures, and I'm the one in mine. And a medical student is smarter and more successful than someone with no professional degree barring certain exceptions.

I think we've found the crux of the matter. He considers his culture/race to be superior to other cultures, even if it means that he's a moron among geniuses. He can't abandon his culture because then he'd have absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. If he's not an epic troll then he's an exceptionally misguided individual.
Well sorry to say this, but Indian culture IS superior to other cultures.

We are smarter and richer than most other cultures which by definition makes us better. Of course I don't fit into that because I'm so far behind my other brown peers, but that's a different point. So I don't think I'm misguided at all. You can look at the statistics yourself. I'm not making it up.

And what do you think I'm being arrogant about? I'm only going to be an M1 at 30 or 31 which is when Indian-Americans are attendings. I have no right to be arrogant because I screwed up in life. Of course you wouldn't understand this concept because you just don't get South Asian culture friend.

This can't be serious.
The oldest Indian M1 I've met was 25, and even he felt that he was "behind".
 
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As a generalization, this couldn't be more incorrect. Now, you could make the argument that the cultures shared among white people can be more varied than others, but to say that we have no culture is quite preposterous. As DocJanitor pointed out above, everyone comes from a different, distinct background with separate types and levels of expectations, which includes people of all races and ethnicities.
I was wrong to say that. You're right. All I meant to say was that South Asian culture has extremely high academic expectations. Failing to meet them in your early to mid 20s makes you a cultural embarrassment. Like myself.
 

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Like I said, all cultures have failures, and I'm the one in mine. And a medical student is smarter and more successful than someone with no professional degree barring certain exceptions.



Well sorry to say this, but Indian culture IS superior to other cultures.

We are smarter and richer than most other cultures which by definition makes us better. Of course I don't fit into that because I'm so far behind my other brown peers, but that's a different point. So I don't think I'm misguided at all. You can look at the statistics yourself. I'm not making it up.

And what do you think I'm being arrogant about? I'm only going to be an M1 at 30 or 31 which is when Indian-Americans are attendings. I have no right to be arrogant because I screwed up in life. Of course you wouldn't understand this concept because you just don't get South Asian culture friend.



The oldest Indian M1 I've met was 25, and even he felt that he was "behind".
As someone who grew up with a fair amount of friends that fit the criteria you're claiming, I can say even the ones who went pre-med and couldn't cut it don't have the "woe-is-me, I'm a failure" mentality that you have. They got over it and found some other way to be successful. None of them claimed that their culture was academically superior either, nor were they as ridiculously ethnocentric as you're being.

If you want to have ANY chance of getting into med school ever, you need to change your attitude and general perspective on people and life before you apply. If you think people on here are being harsh or "don't understand" your immature angsty attitude, wait until you get an interview. You'd get rejected at the interview for far less than some of the opinions you've expressed here.

If you plan on going to med school, my suggestion is to grow up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and realize that med school adcoms and professors don't give a crap about what your parents, family, and overall culture think of you and neither will the majority of your med school peers. If you consider being a resident in your 40's to be a failure and you'll be miserable anyway, I'd suggest forgetting about med school now. No point in taking on insane debt and undergoing 8+ more years of training if you're just going to disparage yourself anyway.
 
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4) I wouldn't have had a job where I got to travel the country meeting VIPs and staying in amazing cities and hotels. I also wouldn't have learned so much about business people, corporate america, or just how ****ty people can be for no good reason.
Isn't that the damn truth!? The business people want to hear all about ethics but when it comes to them actually BEING ethical? Like you know, not lying to Wall Street or the SEC in filed documents? or you know, like not allocating funds to a different source to hide the asset from the balance sheet? or you know, that general, @#$ty stuff that people do to each other because they have no ... I don't even know what the word is.

Every time I think I can't study one more blip, blap, slap, snip or snap for the MCAT, all I do is read something like your quote and it reminds me why I have to keep pushing through (it's not the only reason it's just the one that puts me over the "no mojo" threshold).
 
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As someone who grew up with a fair amount of friends that fit the criteria you're claiming, I can say even the ones who went pre-med and couldn't cut it don't have the "woe-is-me, I'm a failure" mentality that you have. They got over it and found some other way to be successful. None of them claimed that their culture was academically superior either, nor were they as ridiculously ethnocentric as you're being.

If you want to have ANY chance of getting into med school ever, you need to change your attitude and general perspective on people and life before you apply. If you think people on here are being harsh or "don't understand" your immature angsty attitude, wait until you get an interview. You'd get rejected at the interview for far less than some of the opinions you've expressed here.

If you plan on going to med school, my suggestion is to grow up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and realize that med school adcoms and professors don't give a crap about what your parents, family, and overall culture think of you and neither will the majority of your med school peers. If you consider being a resident in your 40's to be a failure and you'll be miserable anyway, I'd suggest forgetting about med school now. No point in taking on insane debt and undergoing 8+ more years of training if you're just going to disparage yourself anyway.
"They got over it and found some other way to be successful." - So they're engineers or lawyers now then? Doctor/Lawyer/Engineer. Only three routes of success in South Asian culture.

"None of them claimed that their culture was academically superior either, nor were they as ridiculously ethnocentric as you're being." - It's true though. The amount of Indian-Americans that have masters, doctorate, or other professional degrees is 5x more than the national average. Seriously look it up, I'm not making it up.

"If you consider being a resident in your 40's to be a failure and you'll be miserable anyway, I'd suggest forgetting about med school now."

Well I'm 27. Looking to start by 30-31, so probably would be in residency by my mid-late 30s which is still bad, but not as big of a failure as someone in their residency in their 40s which is just really sad.

"If you think people on here are being harsh or "don't understand" your immature angsty attitude, wait until you get an interview. You'd get rejected at the interview for far less than some of the opinions you've expressed here." - Yes its a well known fact that my opinions I share online are the same opinions I share in real life.
 
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Isn't that the damn truth!? The business people want to hear all about ethics but when it comes to them actually BEING ethical? Like you know, not lying to Wall Street or the SEC in filed documents? or you know, like not allocating funds to a different source to hide the asset from the balance sheet? or you know, that general, @#$ty stuff that people do to each other because they have no ... I don't even know what the word is.

Every time I think I can't study one more blip, blap, slap, snip or snap for the MCAT, all I do is read something like your quote and it reminds me why I have to keep pushing through (it's not the only reason it's just the one that puts me over the "no mojo" threshold).
Don't kid yourself. Not all physicians or healthcare workers are paragons of ethical practices. Medical fraud and malpractice is abused by physicians all the time. Ultimately all human beings are ****ty for no reason. It's what makes us human. No other animal species is as selfish and deceitful as we are.
 

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Ethics is overrated. And don't kid yourself. Not all physicians or healthcare workers are paragons of ethical practices. Medical fraud and malpractice is abused by physicians all the time. Ultimately all human beings are ****ty for no reason. It's what makes us human. No other animal species is as selfish and deceitful as we are.
Don't pretend to know my background, my healthcare experience and my life. If you really feel that way about humanity, then do not go into healthcare in any aspect. Really.
 

DocJanItor

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Well sorry to say this, but Indian culture IS superior to other cultures.

We are smarter and richer than most other cultures which by definition makes us better. Of course I don't fit into that because I'm so far behind my other brown peers, but that's a different point. So I don't think I'm misguided at all. You can look at the statistics yourself. I'm not making it up.

And what do you think I'm being arrogant about? I'm only going to be an M1 at 30 or 31 which is when Indian-Americans are attendings. I have no right to be arrogant because I screwed up in life. Of course you wouldn't understand this concept because you just don't get South Asian culture friend.
Your arrogance is thinking that your culture is inherently superior for being "smarter and richer". As you are now, you honestly have no business being a doctor. You only want it in order to satisfy your own ego and status. And don't try to excuse your own behavior by saying "everyone does it". That's the rationalization of a child.

Your fallacy is thinking that the number of degrees you have is an indication of your value. The people that build your house and keep the lights on may not have any degrees, but they do damn hard work that most of us couldn't or wouldn't want to do.

And if South Asian culture is so great, why did your family come to the US? It's because of the culture and opportunities that people like my family built. I'm happy that people can come here and take advantage of it, regardless of their origin.

I have more degrees than you ever will. I have more money than you ever will. Those things don't make me a better person than you. What makes me a better person is knowing that they don't.
 
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Your arrogance is thinking that your culture is inherently superior for being "smarter and richer". As you are now, you honestly have no business being a doctor. You only want it in order to satisfy your own ego and status. And don't try to excuse your own behavior by saying "everyone does it". That's the rationalization of a child.

Your fallacy is thinking that the number of degrees you have is an indication of your value. The people that build your house and keep the lights on may not have any degrees, but they do damn hard work that most of us couldn't or wouldn't want to do.

And if South Asian culture is so great, why did your family come to the US? It's because of the culture and opportunities that people like my family built. I'm happy that people can come here and take advantage of it, regardless of their origin.

I have more degrees than you ever will. I have more money than you ever will. Those things don't make me a better person than you. What makes me a better person is knowing that they don't.
That's damn hard work that most of us don't want to do BECAUSE we are educated. Most decent parents don't raise their children up with the dreams that they will be a construction worker.

The more educated and wealthier you are, the more influence and power you have, therefore the more value you have. And of course I'm doing it to satisfy my own ego and status, I never said I wasn't. Find me a South Asian that isn't deep down inside. We are all materialistic and status driven people.

Of course the US is a much better country than India, and our culture has changed slightly since coming here, but the core remains the same. Status, money, and prestige matters more than anything else.

And explain to me how a rich doctor/lawyer/businessman isn't better than some blue collar chump or a fast food worker? The harsh truth is that education + money = better life. That's why people push themselves to obtain those things. Don't be so idealistic about the world. The world is too ****ty of a place for that kind of idealism.
 

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And explain to me how a rich doctor/lawyer/businessman isn't better than some blue collar chump or a fast food worker? The harsh truth is that education + money = better life. That's why people push themselves to obtain those things. Don't be so idealistic about the world. The world is too ****ty of a place for that kind of idealism.
I pity you. Really, I do. To be that miserable inside... it projects onto everyone else you meet. I was considered rich, beautiful, had it all; big job, bigger house, 2 very expensive vehicles in my guest house driveway (only 1 driver in the house); son went to very expensive, elite private school... flew 1st class in 747 to Asia (upstairs, not downstairs in the lower 1st class seats, if you catch my drift)... and you know what?

$$$$$$$$ never made me happy. I remember the day it hit me right in the gut. Here I'd been chasing my next bonus, my next raise, my next stock check... fist bumping myself on the ability to buy the finest of everything. One day, I was driving into work in the bigger of the fancy expensive SUVs (Escalade ESV) and was the only one not involved in a pretty severe accident. It unfolded before me. As I held the lady's head in my hands, with the passenger side door crumpled into her side, waiting for the paramedics to show up, I talked to her about her life, her husband, her family....

Paramedics arrived, cleaned me up; I drove to work, punched 42 on the elevator to get to my fancy corner office with the cherry wood desk and the cherry wood credenza overlooking a very large and long river that bisects the US. My paycheck stub sat on the corner (this is about 14 years ago now, no electronic delivery or portals to see statements). I opened it up, saw the pay for 2 weeks, net was $10,275.95. Net. I cleared almost $21k a month back then. And you know what I felt?

Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Nothing inside me was happy with the check. Not the $$ amount, not what I could buy with it (stock mostly), nothing.

All I could think about was how great it felt to help someone in need that could never pay me, would never pay me and eventually survived that horrific accident.

If you chase $$ your whole life, you will always be miserable. Here, I give you a video from Kenny Chesney... #truth. (BTW, my one word? Hope!)

 
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I pity you. Really, I do. To be that miserable inside... it projects onto everyone else you meet. I was considered rich, beautiful, had it all; big job, bigger house, 2 very expensive vehicles in my guest house driveway (only 1 driver in the house); son went to very expensive, elite private school... flew 1st class in 747 to Asia (upstairs, not downstairs in the lower 1st class seats, if you catch my drift)... and you know what?

$$$$$$$$ never made me happy. I remember the day it hit me right in the gut. Here I'd been chasing my next bonus, my next raise, my next stock check... fist bumping myself on the ability to buy the finest of everything. One day, I was driving into work in the bigger of the fancy expensive SUVs (Escalade ESV) and was the only one not involved in a pretty severe accident. It unfolded before me. As I held the lady's head in my hands, with the passenger side door crumpled into her side, waiting for the paramedics to show up, I talked to her about her life, her husband, her family....

Paramedics arrived, cleaned me up; I drove to work, punched 42 on the elevator to get to my fancy corner office with the cherry wood desk and the cherry wood credenza overlooking a very large and long river that bisects the US. My paycheck stub sat on the corner (this is about 14 years ago now, no electronic delivery or portals to see statements). I opened it up, saw the pay for 2 weeks, net was $10,275.95. Net. I cleared almost $21k a month back then. And you know what I felt?

Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Nothing inside me was happy with the check. Not the $$ amount, not what I could buy with it (stock mostly), nothing.

All I could think about was how great it felt to help someone in need that could never pay me, would never pay me and eventually survived that horrific accident.

If you chase $$ your whole life, you will always be miserable. Here, I give you a video from Kenny Chesney... #truth.

Dang I didn't know doctor Cox also lectured.

To your point, I admire your story, but if you've never had money you'd never know what it's like to be poor. I live paycheck to paycheck. I'm struggling to pay off all my debt and my family's debt. I work so hard and all of my money is gone to student loans, car payments, and other expenses. I would kill to make $20,000 a month. I could at least ENJOY life and have the means to live it to the fullest. I wouldn't be living in a ****ty apartment. I wouldn't be so worried about making rent next month. I could buy nice things, live a nice life, and gain respect and envy of those around me.

Your problem isn't money, maybe it was just the nature of your job.

It sucks working so much and never seeing any financial gain whatsoever. We live in two different universes. I don't think we could really understand each others struggles like that.

Money may not buy happiness, but not having it can certainly lead to sadness.
 
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Dang I didn't know doctor Cox also lectured.

Your problem isn't money, maybe it was just the nature of your job.

It sucks working so much and never seeing any financial gain whatsoever. We live in two different universes. I don't think we could really understand each others struggles like that.

Money may not buy happiness, but not having it can certainly lead to sadness.
I grew up middle class with very wealth neighbors. We were the poor people. With my first son I was on AFDC, the thing they call SNAP and something else now. I used "monopoloy" money to buy my food at midnight because I was too embarassed to go during the day when someone might actually see me that I knew. During those days, my son's food (infant formula, cereal and fruit/veggie bottles) came first and because there was no monopoly money left to buy food for me, I bought a gallon of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce, rationed it out so that I could survive a week on it until my friends fed me on Sat nights.

I did not have enough money to do laundry so I washed the clothes in the tubs with a washboard. When he died, the county paid for the autopsy (mandatory with an infant death) and my parents funded the plot to bury him. OH, and because I was single mom in the 80s, I was also disparaged and called "slut", "*****", and everything else imaginable.

Ten years ago, I told my then very public company to restate. They didn't like that very much. Coupled with the great recession, fraud on WF, Chase, GM; bailouts by the gov't for all those folks and letting Lehman fail, I ended up with nothing. Actually, worse than nothing.

Don't tell me what it's like to be poor. I've been poor, been very rich, and now because I'm trying to do the unthinkable at this age and work and support my parents and my son while doing so, I often am hungry, worrying about rent, or worrying about car payment or watching one get repo'd.

I'd still watch all of that happen for this opportunity. $$$ does. not. matter. There is not one day that I'm this poor now that I am not happier than I ever was with all that money. Not one.
 
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Dang I didn't know doctor Cox also lectured.

It sucks working so much and never seeing any financial gain whatsoever. We live in two different universes. I don't think we could really understand each others struggles like that.

Money may not buy happiness, but not having it can certainly lead to sadness.
You know the the funny thing is. I'm paying a professional in India just 5$ USD a day for some hard outsourcing work.... I'm not sure how he's living out that. :eyebrow:
 
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I grew up middle class with very wealth neighbors. We were the poor people. With my first son I was on AFDC, the thing they call SNAP and something else now. I used "monopoloy" money to buy my food at midnight because I was too embarassed to go during the day when someone might actually see me that I knew. During those days, my son's food (infant formula, cereal and fruit/veggie bottles) came first and because there was no monopoly money left to buy food for me, I bought a gallon of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce, rationed it out so that I could survive a week on it until my friends fed me on Sat nights.

I did not have enough money to do laundry so I washed the clothes in the tubs with a washboard. When he died, the county paid for the autopsy (mandatory with an infant death) and my parents funded the plot to bury him. OH, and because I was single mom in the 80s, I was also disparaged and called "slut", "*****", and everything else imaginable.

Ten years ago, I told my then very public company to restate. They didn't like that very much. Coupled with the great recession, fraud on WF, Chase, GM; bailouts by the gov't for all those folks and letting Lehman fail, I ended up with nothing. Actually, worse than nothing.

Don't tell me what it's like to be poor. I've been poor, been very rich, and now because I'm trying to do the unthinkable at this age and work and support my parents and my son while doing so, I often am hungry, worrying about rent, or worrying about car payment or watching one get repo'd.

I'd still watch all of that happen for this opportunity. $$$ does. not. matter. There is not one day that I'm this poor now that I am not happier than I ever was with all that money. Not one.
I'm sorry for everything you've been through. You're a much better person than me, without a doubt. I guess I'm just too materialistic. Some people are just different.
 
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