Anyone every dealt with emotional problems while taking/studying MCAT?

[PicardAndRoll]

I was just curious.

My university is really close to home, so I live with my parents. I also have three younger sisters (15,11, and 3), so I'm there for them for personal reasons as well. My house situation is very rough, and my familial bond is non existent. I don't really have the courage to go into the specifics of it all, and I'm too embarrassed frankly speaking.

I'm studying for my MCAT, but I can't keep a clear head without getting interrupted, some fight breaking out, or even thinking about the couple of situations going on in my personal life even when I'm away studying alone.

This is taking a huge toll on me emotionally. I'm taking my MCAT in October. The situation with my family is so bad, that I didn't even tell them I'm taking it. I don't want that added to the circle of things going on in the house or any criticism from here to October. I have a job, and I've saved up some money, and I've paid for it on my own.

The day of the MCAT, I'm going to drive about 3 hours to go to the testing facility, and I'll come back without telling them.

It's just really taxing emotionally.

Has anyone ever gone through anything similar? What do you suggest? My support system is literally nonexistent. I feel like I'm walking alone.

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[optimistic3]

I'm really sorry you're going through that. All I can suggest is to stay out of the house as much as possible. Study at libraries or coffee shops. I know what it's like to not be able to focus on studying but try to think about the end goal - med school! Do what you need to do to get yourself there. Maybe you can even stay at a hotel for a few days if you need to clear your head?

 

[m0biusace]

Do you see these problems diminishing in severity during the three years your MCAT score is still valid?

Try to learn how to compartmentalize your home and family issues now or you will be forced to once you get into medical school (if you were to do well on your MCAT)...when you'll have much less time and so, so much more on your plate (50-60K of loans per year, for example).

I understand many situations are impossible to ignore, particularly with family. Medical school might not be the best thing to try to undertake at the moment. Build a somewhat stable foundation first, or else risk failing your first year.

 

[darklabel]

I'm really sorry you're going through that. All I can suggest is to stay out of the house as much as possible. Study at libraries or coffee shops. I know what it's like to not be able to focus on studying but try to think about the end goal - med school! Do what you need to do to get yourself there. Maybe you can even stay at a hotel for a few days if you need to clear your head?

Big +1 to this. I cancelled my first MCAT because of family interruptions during studying, though nothing as emotionally taxing as what you're going through.

Don't be afraid to push back the MCAT if you don't feel prepared and stay out of the house for long periods of time. Best thing to do would be to go study after work (or before if you're night shift) and you can just tell your family that you picked up extra shifts.

Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

 

[swolebrah]

I'm going full nocturnal when I get home for the summer. I have a very loud family and there really is nothing I can do about it haha.

Sleep in the day time, study all night long. Work Saturday+Sunday as part time scribe. Taking MCAT in August. Good luck brah

 

[infinitessimal]

I don't want to baby you, so I'm going to be blunt. You're gonna have to figure out a long-term plan to relate to your family because your future holds more stressful things than the MCAT, but you don't have time for that right now, so just avoid them like the plague. Don't ever study at home, go to your university's library or any other library. Put in headphones with rain sounds or whatever else you like that will gently tap on your brain while you study. If you're one of those people who just thinks too much (guilty of that myself), give yourself time to ponder your personal life or familial matters in the morning, before bed, and during meal breaks, but the moment you open a textbook you have to be in there 100%. If you can't turn off your private thoughts when necessary, you're going to have problems in medical school.

That said, you really need some kind of support system to stay sane. Did you tell any friends you're taking the MCAT? My support came from my roommates who couldn't be less medically inclined and had no idea what the MCAT was, but who made me feel loved and smart and capable regardless. Still, during the 4 months of my studying I went through a breakup, moved from one coast to the other (which involved interviewing dozens of potential subletters and selling all my furniture), and had to fend off rather tumultuous relatives who live in another country and don't understand anything I'm going through. I got through it by putting everything that didn't absolutely require my time on pause until after the test. October is a while away, so at least you don't have the added pressure of a time crunch. Watch favorite shows during your downtime, savor the routine of work and school, and focus on getting the best MCAT prep you can imagine for yourself. If you absolutely must be there for your sisters, allocate specific times during the days or weeks, but let it all go during allocated study hours. Organize, prioritize. Get your sht together. I know it's tough, but you'll come out stronger in the end.

 

[Corvid]

I can relate. I had a rough home life (constant fighting, bickering, you name it) all throughout childhood and all through high school and as a result, I too didn't have much of a support system. You grow to be independent from stuff like this, it does make you stronger. That doesn't make it any easier, though.

Fortunately for me, I went to college away from home and I had no younger siblings to take care of. I can't really imagine having to study for something like the MCAT in such an environment. I'm preparing to take the test in May myself so it puts things into perspective. My heart goes out to you. I suggest you definitely spend as much time as you can away from a toxic home environment (and if you need anyone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a PM).

I know it's hard to focus on studying when you have to deal with that stuff at home. I know it's hard to not worry. But if you have no other alternative, you need to try your best. As a poster said above, compartmentalization of your personal life and academic life is a skill you need to master.

You aren't writing the test right away (though October isn't that far). Try your best to focus and hit those review materials. Make sure you regularly do assessments (like practice passages, exams, etc.) to determine your readiness. If things aren't working out at this point, consider rescheduling/cancelling until you can adequately prepare.

As for the emotional drainage - music generally helps keep me, particularly serene shoe-gaze alternative rock music I regularly listen to (like Deerhunter)

 

[Pacna]

Let me start by saying that I can identify with your plight and feel terrible for you that your home environment is like that. You'll find that this will affect you in other areas, and I caution you to be on guard for this, else you might end up hurting others with your dysfunction.

I agree with those above who recommend minimizing time in that environment.

Also, I had something of a mental breakdown while studying for the MCAT. I saw a psychiatrist who was very helpful. I highly recommend doing the same or at least seeing your school's counselor. If nothing else, it can reinforce that what you're going through is not normal and that it's something to emerge from rather than incorporate into your psyche.

Good luck.

 

[Plecopotamus]

I was just curious.

My university is really close to home, so I live with my parents. I also have three younger sisters (15,11, and 3), so I'm there for them for personal reasons as well. My house situation is very rough, and my familial bond is non existent. I don't really have the courage to go into the specifics of it all, and I'm too embarrassed frankly speaking.

I'm studying for my MCAT, but I can't keep a clear head without getting interrupted, some fight breaking out, or even thinking about the couple of situations going on in my personal life even when I'm away studying alone.

This is taking a huge toll on me emotionally. I'm taking my MCAT in October. The situation with my family is so bad, that I didn't even tell them I'm taking it. I don't want that added to the circle of things going on in the house or any criticism from here to October. I have a job, and I've saved up some money, and I've paid for it on my own.

The day of the MCAT, I'm going to drive about 3 hours to go to the testing facility, and I'll come back without telling them.

It's just really taxing emotionally.

Has anyone ever gone through anything similar? What do you suggest? My support system is literally nonexistent. I feel like I'm walking alone.

Your youngest sister is 3. She has 15 more years at home. Are you going to stay there for all of that?
Medical school will almost definitely necessitate moving out. Or will you only consider medical schools where you can live at home? If you're moving out for med school, maybe moving out a year or two earlier in order to facilitate these period of application/MCAT is a prudent choice. I know you feel you have to stay for your siblings, but do you think your sibs will feel better in 10 or 20 years if you screwed yourself over for them? At the very least, that seems like what you're psychologically doing. At the worst, however, you could end up being one of these SDN posters here saying you blew the MCAT for personal reasons. Doing the latter can mean having to retake your MCAT, defer your application year, or apply multiple times.

I would strongly consider other options like postponing your MCAT and getting an apartment for the next academic year to tend to all of this stuff. Not sure what year of college you're in, but at some schools deferring graduation a semester and moving into a dorm or university housing would be a realistic option. If your oldest sister is 15, she could get a driver's license and car in the next year (assuming your parents won't kill that as part of their horribleness) -- if you have an apartment it can be a place your two oldest sibs come to hang out and get some time away from your parents -- would that not be a better gift than simply shutting yourself in the same house while they endure the crazy?

If you absolutely can't think of another option besides staying at home and studying, then at least don't take it until your practice tests are going as you hoped. Please really ask yourself, however, how much are you helping your sisters if you're holed up in your room or studying at a coffee shop all the time? I do not think it would be a bad idea for you to see your school's counselor to sort out your priorities. It's hard to see things clearly when you've spent your life in an environment that's so tainted with sick thinking.

If anybody is being abused, by the way, you're presence is not what your sisters need.

Growing up in a severely dysfunctional household is not as unique as you'd think, unfortunately. I know it's of little consolation, but you're really not alone. Plenty of people (myself and several posters upthread included) have gone through what you're feeling right now. These decisions will never be easy, and there will never be one "right" one. Good luck.

Edit: Also, moving out will bring new emotional challenges and potentially kick up new (albeit longer distance) problematic interactions with your family. I think that moving out before going to med school would be a good option to consider in order to let that stuff settle before you're thrown into the new challenge of med school itself.

 

[Goro]

Pay VERY careful attention: the MCAT is one of those rare but career-defining high-stakes exams that you have to take. If you do not escape your toxic environment for prepping for this exam, you will not only do poorly, but also display to us AdComs some very poor choice making qualities..

For starters, go study at the library (any library), or your college. Or a trusted friend or relative's house, or Starbucks. Get pastoral help, if this is an option.

And heed my young colleague Pleco's advice well!!!

Good luck.

I was just curious.

My university is really close to home, so I live with my parents. I also have three younger sisters (15,11, and 3), so I'm there for them for personal reasons as well. My house situation is very rough, and my familial bond is non existent. I don't really have the courage to go into the specifics of it all, and I'm too embarrassed frankly speaking.

I'm studying for my MCAT, but I can't keep a clear head without getting interrupted, some fight breaking out, or even thinking about the couple of situations going on in my personal life even when I'm away studying alone.

This is taking a huge toll on me emotionally. I'm taking my MCAT in October. The situation with my family is so bad, that I didn't even tell them I'm taking it. I don't want that added to the circle of things going on in the house or any criticism from here to October. I have a job, and I've saved up some money, and I've paid for it on my own.

The day of the MCAT, I'm going to drive about 3 hours to go to the testing facility, and I'll come back without telling them.

It's just really taxing emotionally.

Has anyone ever gone through anything similar? What do you suggest? My support system is literally nonexistent. I feel like I'm walking alone.