anyone interested in helping with my PS

[kraxup]

I can email my personal statement to you or you can just read it here. Feel free to post your thoughts. Please be honest and don't be afraid of humiliating me. I am not good with grammar; therefore, that is what I need help with the most....

Admiral Chester W. Nimitz's said, ?Uncommon Valor was a Common Virtue? about the Marine Corps landing on the Island of Iwo Jima. This quote is equally applied to physicians for their high moral standards and their devotion to the care of their patients. During my years as a Marine Corps squad leader, I was entrusted to train my Marines for all military and non-military situations. The most memorable mission my Marines and I was involved in was a humanitarian mission in East Timor. Over the next 4 weeks my squad and I secured areas for safe zones, set up food distribution centers and field medical clinics. After the initial phases of preparation and security we began the distribution of food, water and hygiene materials. This gave me the chance to meet the people of east Timor and learn about their culture, history and personal problems. Everyday I learned something new about the East Timorese way of life; therefore, the following day I was better prepared to handle the problems of the local people proper help center. Working with the Timorese helped me better understand how to work through cultural and language barriers. By being in the Marines I learned a lot about leadership, personal responsibility and personal sacrifice and I know these personal traits will allow me to be a successful family practice physician in the future.
After the Marine Corps I felt the desire to continue my volunteer work helping others and that led me to the Foyil fire department. As a firefighter I worked auto accidents, house fires and medical emergencies. The pride and self-respect that comes with extracting someone out of a wrecked automobile, saving somebody?s house or helping paramedics with a patient are the best rewards I could ever want.
I have worked at St. John medical center for 3 years; this has given me the opportunity to get priceless patient contact. As a nurse assistant I go to the floors and get the patients for surgery, this gives me some time to talk to the patient and their family. One patient I went to get was nervous of the upcoming surgery and rightly so. As I was talking with the patient I noticed the tension they had and I knew I needed to calm them down while we were in transport to surgery. While on the way I first began asking small questions and that worked into a full conversation about the patients? love of her animals. As we got to surgery and I was going to leave the patient with the nurse; the patient looked at me and asked me to stay with her until she was asleep, then she made me promise I would be there when she woke. I made the promise to her and realized the large impact I can have on someone?s life in the few short minutes I spend with him or her.
With my leadership and people skills I acquired in the Marine Corps, the devotion I have given to people in need and the patient contact I have; I have no doubt that I know what it takes to be a respected and successful physician.

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[momo7430]

Hello Kraxup, I think your statement sounds great. A lot of people may try to give you advice on ways to tweak it... but I just wanted to say I think the most important feature of your statement should be that it sounds like it comes from the heart. Stay true to your story! It's personal and it's yours, so no-one knows how to tell it like you can. Of course grammer and basic yada-yada is important, which is fine in your case, but I have found that you really need to get your heart across. Ya know what I mean? I am an average writer, but in my statement, it was my story, my heart and my dream to communicate. It worked! And I'm sure yours will do the same. So don't worry too much.
Best of Luck! Momo

 

[kraxup]

thanks for the input... I'm not much of a writer but I did write what I felt.

 

[Munchkin6245]

there are quite a few grammar issues, but overall I think it sounds good

 

[Cutter]

I emailed you a draft. Tell me what you think.??

 

[kraxup]

my email address is [email protected]

 

[hotlikebutter]

i think its great because it is very personal and different. but i think you need some fire in it. it sounds very predictable. tell them more about what you think, how you think, why you think, and how only medicine can give you what you want out of life. Sincerely, many professions will allow you the chance to comfort people in high stress situations, but why do you want to help people as a doctor is what I think they look for. also, why do you want to be an osteopathic physician? what has made you look into this form of medical education versus the allopathic route. i know its very hard since the DO essay is really short, but just a line or two that mentions this will let them know you have thought about it and understand what it means. hope this helps.

good luck!

 

[Mr. E]

Hey KRAXUP what unit where you in......I was 371 MTOPS, 3rd Marine Air Wing in Yuma(drove LVS "dragon wagons"). Having military on your resume is worth a million bucks. At one of my interviews, the interviewer, a DO, started off by saying that the military was really going to help me....I got in yesterday!!
Anyways, at what point did you decide you wanted to be a doctor? Was it when you were at St. John's, or was St Johns a confirmation of a previous decision?
good luck

 

[kraxup]

I was stationed out of Camp Pendleton 1st Battalion 1st Marines 1st Marine division. I spent my four years in the infantry and I spent one month out by the yuma air station training in the desert. I also spent a little over one year on the USS pelilu. 13th and 11th MEU...I can say those four years were some of the best and worst times I think man could have.. Congrats on getting in... Wish the best for you

I have wanted to be a Doctor since I was around 12-13 years old, but never tried to do anything about it. I decided to get out of the Corps and go for it. St John medical center was just a way to show myself and others I know what I am getting into for the rest of my life..