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Anyone think it's ever a good idea to choose a school far away from your family?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - DO' started by hemlocktree, Jan 14, 2014.

  1. hemlocktree

    hemlocktree 5+ Year Member

    Oct 14, 2009
    I'm currently debating between two schools: one that is 10 minutes away from my house and another that is on the other coast of the country. I like both schools equally and tuition is not a factor for me. Most people say I should choose the school then that is close since I have a support system here. However, my family here ( mother) is dyfunctional and I think if anything would be a detriment to me during medical school. Although the school is nearby, I would still get an apartment right near school so I would not technically share a household with my her, however she'd still only be minutes nearby. I really think I would be better off from a psychological standpoint if I went to a school very far away. I feel guilty for feeling this is my opportunity to run away, and of course she is literally pleading me to stay nearby, but I feel like living in close proximity with her would only stress me out and jeopardize my success in medical school. I feel like i would have enough of a support system through my peers and the school, I really don't think it would be that bad to be somewhere with no family nearby, im sure a good amount of students are far away from family. Staying would be easier as far as moving and bringing my car and all that, i suppose id be so busy i could just keep my distance. Sorry for the rant, anyone have any similar experience? I'm just feeling guilty and confused at the same time.
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  3. gocougs339


    Sep 28, 2013
    Go to the school that will be better for your career. If the schools are equal and you don't think you can handle have that family member being that close then go to the other school. However, don't pass up on a better school just to get away unless you absolutely know it will be a distraction.
    hemlocktree likes this.
  4. XFireMedic

    XFireMedic 2+ Year Member

    May 1, 2013
    I turned down a school because it was located in my wife's hometown for the same reasons. Her family is a mess and the drama would have more than offset any benefit derived from a local "support system." You really have to do what's right for you and realizing that other people won't understand because they haven't been in your shoes.
    touchpause13 and hemlocktree like this.
  5. postbacpremed87

    postbacpremed87 5+ Year Member

    Jan 26, 2011
    and in the process you're going to the best school ever!
  6. XFireMedic

    XFireMedic 2+ Year Member

    May 1, 2013
    Well yes, that's quite true.
  7. NuttyEngDude

    NuttyEngDude Red-Flagville Rocket Scientist 7+ Year Member

    Oct 28, 2010
    OP, You need a support system. This does not have to be your family, it can be a good social group of friends. It does not mean you can't build one wherever you neither.
    coolingglasses likes this.
  8. Back 5

    Back 5 7+ Year Member

    Jan 22, 2009
    I'm moving almost as far away from my family for school as physically possible. Only DO school further away would have been Western-Lebanon. Not because I want to, but I really like the school and I'm excited about the adventure of living somewhere I've never really been.
  9. TreadLightly


    Aug 14, 2013
    Western COMP? You're going to love So cal ;)
  10. Roxas

    Roxas Giggity! Bronze Donor Classifieds Approved 5+ Year Member

    Jul 5, 2012
    Twilight Town
    I think moving away can be a good thing. I'm born and raised in the town where I go to college, and even though I have friends and family here, I think there's experience to be gained from going somewhere and starting fresh. Just seeing and living in new places is cool, plus I think sometimes your "support system" can be incredibly distracting from school.

    I could have applied to multiple schools that would have left me closer to home, but instead I chose to apply to schools that I felt had great programs regardless of location.
  11. chizledfrmstone

    chizledfrmstone Enjoying the finer things in life Administrator Moderator 10+ Year Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    I am tech support for my family.

    I'm getting the HELL out of here for Med School!
    gocougs339 likes this.
  12. medickdb

    medickdb 5+ Year Member

    Feb 24, 2011
    I think this is most important. Pick the school where you feel you can get the education you desire while having the least amount of bumps along the way.

    Good luck in your decision.
  13. cabinbuilder

    cabinbuilder Urgent Care Physician Physician 10+ Year Member

    Nov 21, 2005
    There is a point in life where you have to live your own and CUT THE CORD. If your mom is that dysfunction (mine was) you need to get as far away from the drama otherwise YOU WILL FAIL OUT OF MEDICAL SCHOOL. Do not feel guilty, guilt will kill you. Sometimes parents need to learn to stand on their own. And for pete's sake, set boundaries. Tell her you will call on Saturday and will not take calls during the week, etc or she will hound you to death. Take this opportunity to unlock the chains and be free for yourself.
    Wipeout416 and Elevencents like this.
  14. Goro

    Goro Faculty 7+ Year Member

    Jun 10, 2010
    Somewhere west of St. Louis
    Concur 100%. While it's good to have a support group like family nearby, if the family relationships are toxic, the ore distance between you and them, the better.

  15. WalSlave

    WalSlave 7+ Year Member

    May 2, 2009
    I feel for you. My mother has borderline personality disorder as well as narcissistic personality disorder. If your mom has anything close to these, don't hesitate on moving far far away.

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