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Anyone want to critique my essay?

Discussion in 'MCAT: Medical College Admissions Test' started by SephirothXR, Aug 20, 2011.

  1. SephirothXR

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    Is this too long? Did I adequately answer the question? I kind of rambled at the end but this was probably because I didn't create an outline. Thoughts?

    Successful politicians are more motivated by practical considerations than they are by moral values


    The hallmarks of a successful politician constitute a plethora of characteristics and a clarification of key terms. Successful politicians should be labeled as those who put the interests of the nation ahead of those of other influences that might not be a direct reflection of public opinion. Moreover, it is also crucial for a successful politician to act through pragmatic means and for practical purposes and at the same time balance those with his moral values and at the same time respect the human dignity of his constituents.. Furthermore, in consideration of moral values, it will be vital to connect these values with other values that are deemed applicable: like/dislike values (such as chocolate or vanilla) and existential values that have a teleological aspect. In these cases, we consider times when an autocratic regime might enact successful economic and political policies but jeopardize the human dignity of his/her people. Namely, this statement means that a politician could lose sight of the fundamentally most important aspect of what it means to be a human: respect of human dignity. Thus, one must seek to clarify when a politician might be successful pursuing policies that might have had justifiable goals but lacked drive in considering the incentives his/her policies create as well as his respect for human dignity.

    Depending on the context of the specific country and the institutions that guide the economics and politics, a politician will pursue a variety of goals. For one s/he will rank entities such as the economy very highly over other things. To be specific, it is justifiable in only some senses that the economy of a nation is a partial reflection of the socioeconomic status of the country as a whole. While this statement may have many counter-arguments, what is crucial here is the fact that a politician may have a goal of improving the economy. If he thinks that jobs or egalitarian values are more important, then s/he might pursue policies that seek to fit those visions. Of course we've seen numerous cases in history where these types of practical assumptions about economics and the goals they pursue might overshadow the incentives that they created. The Communist Soviet Union believed that it was pursuing the best interests of its nation because communism would bring equality to all and creating jobs, which should generally equate to a strong economy. This is a case of a nation pursuing these practical considerations, and it is very easy to lose sight of human dignity in this sense: the moral values. The politician, under this specific type of government, would pursue practical considerations of the economy, the people, and the politician system of the moral values. The status of that country could very well change: the Soviet Union was one of the most powerful entities to ever exist. Stalin must have been considered one of the more successful people in terms of the power that his country had amassed and its rivaling of the US's military and economic power. Thus, in a system where the economy is the central focus, politicians who are encouraged to be successful in creating a sufficient economic system might be more motivated by practical considerations than by moral values.

    A policy maker must never disregard the human dignity of others; namely, human dignity stems from the autonomy and rational nature of human beings that gives them a certain kind of special respect. Of course this term is never absent from questions about its meaning. Numerous charters of new countries have used the word dignity as the basis for their laws, implying that moral values are in fact more important than practical considerations. The United Nations, in its 1945 charter, stressed ethics and dignity as central to its purpose. In this case, we now consider cases where a politician who is deemed successful is guided more by moral values than by practical considerations. Mohandas Gandhi of India is a perfect example. The fundamental moral nature of his character recognized the dignity of all human beings. Even when posed with a practical consideration of using the force and might of hundreds of millions of Indians against the British, he opted for a more auspicious approach that was more based upon moral values rather than pragmatic values. His means of non-violence was effective in liberating India. Of course while one may immediately beg the question of Gandhi's status as a politician, one must also consider his influence on successful politicians such as Nelson Mandela and the Dalai Lama. They have been brutalized, jailed (25 years for Mandela), and have seen their people murdered, yet when they came back from adversity they did not express anger. It was how they dealt with the conflict and emerged by supporting human rights rather than exterminating the problem (through violence, which would have been quicker in Mandela's case) that made them famous and appreciated by many people. Namely, they are recognized today as successful politicians and policy makers through pursuing egalitarian values while still respecting human dignity. In this sense, we consider uprisings in the Arab spring where politicians who might have placed practical considerations of their country (the economy) over their people had their people turn on them. This would then mean the revolutionary who was responsible for overthrowing the government and then MORE IMPORTANTLY the one who created a new system based on the universal guideline of human dignity would be considered successful in how he was motivated by more moral values rather than the like/dislike values of his predecessor.

    The clarification that following moral values rather than practical considerations of things like the economy as a whole or the principle of equality [as used in the communist sense] can be implemented in a number of ways in the global arena. In the case of the United Nations, its charter could be refined in such a way that encourages politicians to consider the universal principles of morality in their policy making process. Namely, any sort of government or politician that violates basic principles of morality in pursuing considerations that are "practical" can not be considered successful because their definition of practical can entail selfish interests or interests that disrespect the human dignity of all humans. In this sense, most regimes that have violated these principles and exhibited a fundamental evil moral nature have always, ALWAYS experienced some adversity in their borders and with the rest of the world. China may have seen an economic boom but its irresponsible policy of the environment, workers' rights, and the health of its nation jeopardize its future. AS one example, China suppress any media that covers a story on human rights or environmental pollution; now, there are entire AIDS and cancer villages due to pollutants in the water supply or policy that into consideration economic values that might have pragmatic at the time. As one example, blood was popular and sold for a lot, so when the Chinese set up blood donor camps throughout China, their negligence led to entire AIDS villages. Moreover, frequently people protest, yet these protests are frequently not reported on by the media. It is crucial that these people are represented outside the area that is being affected because of their universal right to basic principles of morality. To summarize, China may be successful economically but it is not without turmoil with its people. It is successful in a practical economic sense but not in a moral sense. AS history has shown, there will be some sort of "uprising" due to the politics of China not being successful in the sense of respecting human dignity. With all of this in mind, it can be said that any sort of government or group that violates basic principles of human morality will never be successful and because of this, there is only one option if a future based dignity is to be achieved: removing it or replacing it.
     
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  3. PingPongPro

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    Did you really write all that in 30 minutes?
     
  4. SephirothXR

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    Yep, I did the CBT and started from the very first minute (no outline). I type fast. Really fast. Though that could also hurt me if I write a lot.
     
  5. SephirothXR

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    So I'm not bumping this necessary to ask for someone to critique it again but rather if it's a sure guarantee of seeing some sort of score decrease if I make an essay that long.
     
  6. sha15

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    That's a mouth full for 30 minutes. I wrote MAYBE the length of your first two paragraphs total on each of my essays on the MCAT and got a Q, which I think is a pretty nice score.

    I'm not sure how they grade it, but this might be too much information for someone who is reading a bunch of essays in a row and looking to make sure you addressed a few key points.

    But as long as you address these points and answer what they tell you to do, which it looks like you did, you should end up with a good score.
     
  7. kehlsh

    kehlsh Medic Commando
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    ya i think this is excessive

    computer might not like processing such long essay

    besides, u won't have time to nap
     
  8. ManBroDude

    ManBroDude Half man, half bearpig
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    [​IMG]

    I think this one was on AAMC 11, right? I wrote maybe half that, but then again who really takes the practice exams' WS that seriously?
     
  9. moose stuff

    moose stuff and everything in between

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    It seems like something this long runs the risk of annoying your graders
     
  10. evans2000

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    Annoying graders,too long and some redundancy..
     

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