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Anyone willing to look over my Personal Statement?

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manikall

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Hi. I am really struggling with my personal statement. I had to scrap my original. Can someone give me some feedback on my second version? Thank you.
 

Ezryk

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I’ll take a look!
 
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NoRome

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Not to hijack @manikall 's thread, but @Ezryk could you look at my work and activities section if you have a chance also?
 
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