Applications, RadOnc, and Family

[Dishevelled Doc]

I'm a third year, soon to be fourth year (a week and a half to go!) medical student who will be applying to Radiation Oncology programs this fall. Our Deans just spoke to our class about the application process and one of the comments that was made was to think carefully about what you want to reveal to programs about yourself, with having a family being one example. Well, I happen to be married and have a son and I'm wondering if that's something I should avoid bringing up in my applications/interviews. I certainly don't mean lying, but for example, if I'm asked about challenges in my life, should I just stick to school/medicine-related topics, or should I feel comfortable talking about the difficulties related to my family (my son needing surgery, for example)? To me, it seems that if a program is not going to be OK with me having a family, then I probably shouldn't go there, but on the other hand, I'd rather not be ranked lower at a program I like because I discussed my family. Any thoughts?

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[rpkall]

That's just disappointing. I'm thinking of having a kid before residency apps, and it would really p*ss me off if program directors really care about this sort of thing. Thank you for bringing this issue up--I'm sorry I have no advice for ya (I'm a 3rd year myself) but I'm really interested in seeing the response to this--especially in a field like radonc (where it would seem the hours really aren't terrible and shouldn't conflict much with family life, as long as your spouse is supportive and you're well prepared and relatively financially secure)...

 

[IndyXRT]

I don't think you need to hide having a family. I think it can be an advantage at some places (Mayo Rochester seemed pretty family oriented to me, for example), while it might make for a difficult fit at others (although they cannot officially consider it). Just my opinion.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Dishevelled Doc

Having matched this past year, I don't think it will be a problem at all for you to comment on your family. In fact, I made reference to them whenever I could (personal statement, casually during the interviews, etc.). I believe its best to remain completely transparent during the application and interview process. My family (wife and son) are tremendously important to me, and it would be silly (and practically impossible) to try to hide that fact. If they don't like families, fine, you probably wouldn't enjoy residency at that program. And the opposite is also true. But the vast majority of the time they don't care one way or the other. When they do care, realize that most of them have their own families and relating to those experiences will show your character and maturity.

Remember, Honesty is always the best policy.

 

[Dishevelled Doc]

Thanks for the advice. You know, I just assumed I'd be able to talk freely about the fact that I have a family, which is why I was so surprised to hear what the Deans at my school had to say. And I agree, I feel that having a family during medical school has been a strength of mine, not something I should hide or be worried about. It's just good to hear that other people have been in the same situation and haven't had problems.

 

[jimbobb23]

I would like to match, but I would not rank somewhere that made it clear my family was a problem. My family is coming with me, and if the program looks down on that it will be awkward for 4 years. And it would make me think they are nuts.

I just can't imagine a reason to look down on something as awesome as spouse and children.

 

[stephew]

i wouldnt worry about it. In fact i think PDs like married folks. Its not supposed to be a consideration but on person I know found one program harping so much on the fact that he was single and their town wasn't good for the singles scene that he felt this effected his match there (ie he didnt).

I would suppose the only downside is if your spouces career needs were such that they felt s/he wouldnt be likey happy to be in that town.

I wouldnt avoid it. It will likely come up in one way or another, socially if not as an agenda. I wouldnt owrry about it muchj.

I'm a third year, soon to be fourth year (a week and a half to go!) medical student who will be applying to Radiation Oncology programs this fall. Our Deans just spoke to our class about the application process and one of the comments that was made was to think carefully about what you want to reveal to programs about yourself, with having a family being one example. Well, I happen to be married and have a son and I'm wondering if that's something I should avoid bringing up in my applications/interviews. I certainly don't mean lying, but for example, if I'm asked about challenges in my life, should I just stick to school/medicine-related topics, or should I feel comfortable talking about the difficulties related to my family (my son needing surgery, for example)? To me, it seems that if a program is not going to be OK with me having a family, then I probably shouldn't go there, but on the other hand, I'd rather not be ranked lower at a program I like because I discussed my family. Any thoughts?

 

[JTradonc]

ARRO (The Association of Residents in radiation oncology) recently polled all training members in the US for demographic and other information.

67.6% of currently training members are married

and

38.2% have one or more children.


Rad Onc seems to be a family friendly environment.

 

[stephew]

mayne get married/have kids during reisdnecy.

 

[rad onc res]

I'm a third year, soon to be fourth year (a week and a half to go!) medical student who will be applying to Radiation Oncology programs this fall. Our Deans just spoke to our class about the application process and one of the comments that was made was to think carefully about what you want to reveal to programs about yourself, with having a family being one example. Well, I happen to be married and have a son and I'm wondering if that's something I should avoid bringing up in my applications/interviews. I certainly don't mean lying, but for example, if I'm asked about challenges in my life, should I just stick to school/medicine-related topics, or should I feel comfortable talking about the difficulties related to my family (my son needing surgery, for example)? To me, it seems that if a program is not going to be OK with me having a family, then I probably shouldn't go there, but on the other hand, I'd rather not be ranked lower at a program I like because I discussed my family. Any thoughts?

My question for you is "why would you want to train in a residency program that would look upon you disfavorably because you have/are planning to have a family?" Granted there are some programs out there that are not crazy about residents who have/start a family during residency but rad onc tends not to be one of them as they hours are generally good. Residencies that tend to care would be work hour heavy fields (i.e surgery or OB/GYN).

During my rad-onc residency, two of our female residents became pregnant in the same year and both were supported by the faculty and staff. When I had my first child during residency, I was supported by everyone in the department and received more than enough help by my fellow residents and attendings during my pregnanct and when I returned to work. That being said, I trained in one of the best programs in the country where residents were respected as equals and where the purpose of the program was to train good physicians not for cheap labor. I guess my point is why lie and exclude the truth? If a program wants to exclude you because you have a family you don't want to train there. The good programs won't care.

 

[stephew]

"the good programs wont care". i wish it were always true.

 

[animula]

I think you should play it by the ear. There are folks that have massive wedding bands and photo of 3 kids on the table, then there are 4o something residency directors with obvious issues in this area who will not empathise with you and will find your stories about kids and how you were worried during their surgery essentially boring (message conveyed from one of them during a personal chat - how bored he was with people telling him stories of their kids). So while I would not hide anything like this, plus you probably wear a wedding band, I'd stick to the professional topics for most of the time unless I felt genuinely comfortable bringing up family topics as challenges. Just my two cents·

 

[Gfunk6]

The reality is that Rad Onc residency is a good time to have kids:

1. Your financial picture is 'stable' - certainly more so than medical school
2. The costs of pregnancy are very well-covered (or should be) by your residency health insurance
3. You can actually take time off without a huge financial hit and (if you are lucky and your program director is on board) you can graduate on time
4. Child care is frequently heavily subsidized - especially at major medical centers. Also, residents/faculty get preferential admission.

I know it sucks for your co-residents who have to pick up the slack when you are out, but what can you do? As long as you are kind to your fellows and give them adequate notice it should work out fine.

 

[thesauce]

I think you should play it by the ear. There are folks that have massive wedding bands and photo of 3 kids on the table, then there are 4o something residency directors with obvious issues in this area who will not empathise with you and will find your stories about kids and how you were worried during their surgery essentially boring (message conveyed from one of them during a personal chat - how bored he was with people telling him stories of their kids). So while I would not hide anything like this, plus you probably wear a wedding band, I'd stick to the professional topics for most of the time unless I felt genuinely comfortable bringing up family topics as challenges. Just my two cents·

Timeless advice but the OP started this thread 7 years ago

OP: how did it go?

 

[DukeNukem]

4. Child care is frequently heavily subsidized - especially at major medical centers. Also, residents/faculty get preferential admission.

I'm curious what percentage of programs have this. Between med school, aways, and research I've been to 5 programs and have never seen subsidized daycare for residents/fellows. My program has a daycare almost right next to our door, and I was told that it is for staff and faculty only. Residents and fellows are excluded.

 

[Sheldor]

I'm curious what percentage of programs have this. Between med school, aways, and research I've been to 5 programs and have never seen subsidized daycare for residents/fellows. My program has a daycare almost right next to our door, and I was told that it is for staff and faculty only. Residents and fellows are excluded.

My med school, TY year and Rad Onc residency all have it. So for an n=3, I can contribute.

As a note, most of them had a wait list of 1+ years, so if you have kids you need to get on the wait list right after match day. If its vitally important, I may even get on wait lists at my top 3 choice programs once I knew what those were.

Day care is super hardcore, haha

 

[SJSM001]

A good number of places have daycares. Like Sheldor mentioned, they have very long waiting list and the price is often not all that heavily subsidized.

Even though the thread is 7+ years old, I'm sure people this year will have this question. I'd venture to say the answer is actually different if you're female than if you're male. Like someone said, play it by ear depending on who you're interviewing with. But, as a female, I would say don't ever be the first one to bring it up if it's brought up at all, and I would ask all relevant family questions to current residents at informal events like the dinner, not in your formal interviews.