so do you ever wake up and think WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING. suddenly being a doctor is simply the worst idea you have ever had. i mean all the work, effort and jumping through thousands of hoops only to be overworked and sometimes underappreciated. i think about it and i realize i hate work, i hate long hours, i hate having to sacrifice my immediate wants and desires. in that moment, every job in the world looks more enticing than being a doctor. my friends and family don't get it. they think being a doctor is the coolest thing ever and that is even cooler that that is what i want to be. but sometimes i think i made a bad choice and should have focused on music or philosophy my other loves. who let me make the decisioins for my life. however did made a big mistake. i guess you could consider this my panic attack although it usually occurs for hours and days at a time. but the attack always magically subsides. i'll be watching something or talking to someone and the passion and drive comes back. i realize being a doctor is all i really want. so much so that i am willing to sacrifice and endure somethings i don't enjoy just to realize this dream. then my world is as it should be. but you gotta hate those damn panic attacks.