asking for money

[Kadyra]

I really hate asking for money. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of crap who can't hack it on her own. As you can tell, I have issues with it because I am very independent. Anyway, I need some help asking a specific person for money. You see, I haven't really been on speaking terms with my stepmom since my dad died 6 years ago, but at my college graduation (I was floored that she came) she told me that she would help out with medical school. She put some money toward my undergrad education, so I know she is telling the truth. However, she made me provide proof that I was in school and demanded that I send her my grades every semester and sent disapproving letters if I didn't have straight A's (which was almost always the case). It was a pain in the butt.

So my problem is this: I didn't get into Arizona this round (only one more to go!) and I am holding an acceptance to a DO school that requires a $750 deposit by March 1. The deposit is 40% refundable if I withdraw my place from the class. I am in a bad financial situation and I waited until the last minute to pay this because I was waiting to hear from Arizona. I can't ask my stepdad for the money because he just sprang $2000 for the dog's knee surgery and doesn't have an extra $750 laying around. My stepmom has the money. I haven't spoken to her since September. I need the money. I have to ask her. How do I do it? My stomach is churning just thinking about it.

Thanks.

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[vixen]

I think you should call her up and have a whole-hearted conversation...if it's not going in the direction you had planned, then tell her to just think about it and I'm sure she'd help out in this kind of situation. Be honest like you have here and explain the whole situation...

If you haven't spoken to her since sept and that is a big issue, then I would go home and bring this up...don't get angry, but just be totally honest and explain how important this is to you...

I wish I could be of more help, but I think everyone knows deep down how to deal w/their own (step)parents...be strong and good luck!!

(PS, I HATE asking my parents for money too, but its one of those inevitable things sometimes, esp cause we're students )

 

[Kadyra]

Thanks simseema. Its just especially hard to talk to her because she has been a huge pain in my neck for the last 6 years. There is a long story why no one talks to her, and if I tell it here I'd probably end it with "kill the b!tch!" or something.

If I could go see her, I would, but she's in Chicago and I am in Tucson. It makes it more difficult. Plus she doesn't approve of the fact that I'm working at a temp agency (working very infrequently too, I might add) since I graduated. I mean, I know I will talk to her. I think I just need a pep talk. And some advice on how to stay calm and not freak out. I've been freaking out a lot lately ::sigh::

 

[BushBaby]

I would advice you to just give your step-mother a call to let her know you got accepted into a DO program and like most programs require a deposit to hold your seat. She did say she would help you out with your school. I don't know how close you are to her but just state your case. If you aren't that close, avoid trying to be her best friend or long lost daughter one minute only to ask for money the next minute.

Let her know you are a little short on cash and would really appreciate her help. The money IS for your education not to go shopping....!

 

[Kadyra]

Thanks. I think I'm also trying to avoid a lecture on "you need to be more careful with your money" or "if you had kept the disposable Kia instead of getting the wonderful Toyota, it would be paid off by now and you wouldn't be in this bind." But that is good advice. Now, if only I can remember to take a deep breath and think happy thoughts when she goes into that mode :wink:

 

[vixen]

yeah, if she writes a check she'll know where the money is going and I highly doubt a parent saying: No I will not give you money so you can hold a spot for yourself in med school...I just HIGHLY doubt that would happen...

Just take a deep breath and remember to stay calm while you talk...if she says something you want to argue about, just remember you want it to end positively, so just be calm and talk to her...

Good luck! You can do it!!!

 

[Mr. Furious]

Kadyra,

I was in a similar situation last fall and so I ended up selling a bunch of my possessions at <a href="http://www.ebay.com" target="_blank">http://www.ebay.com</a>

You might consider doing the same. I sold a bunch of old useless stuff and amassed enough to get myself out of the situation I had put myself in. And it was more than $750.

Mr.

 

[Mr. Furious]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by Mellow:
•I would advice you to just give your step-mother a call to let her know you got accepted into a DO program and like most programs require a deposit to hold your seat. She did say she would help you out with your school. I don't know how close you are to her but just state your case. If you aren't that close, avoid trying to be her best friend or long lost daughter one minute only to ask for money the next minute.

Let her know you are a little short on cash and would really appreciate her help. The money IS for your education not to go shopping....!•••••I have a better idea. Call your dad and ask HIM to ask your stepmother. Makes a lot more sense.

Mr.

 

[BushBaby]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by MrFurious:
• •••quote:•••Originally posted by Mellow:
•I would advice you to just give your step-mother a call to let her know you got accepted into a DO program and like most programs require a deposit to hold your seat. She did say she would help you out with your school. I don't know how close you are to her but just state your case. If you aren't that close, avoid trying to be her best friend or long lost daughter one minute only to ask for money the next minute.

Let her know you are a little short on cash and would really appreciate her help. The money IS for your education not to go shopping....!•••••I have a better idea. Call your dad and ask HIM to ask your stepmother. Makes a lot more sense.

Mr. •••••MrFurious- That's a better idea but she mentioned that her father passed away.

Kadyra- If your step-mother starts talking that yakity Yak...just hang up, cool down and call back in 5 minutes. Tell her you were using a phone card and your minutes finished. Or when she starts lecturing you start yelling "what?...speak louder I can't hear you!" then hang up, cool off and call back with that phone card excuse. :wink: By the time you call back hopefully she forgot what she was saying and will just ask you how much you need. <img border="0" alt="[Laughy]" title="" src="graemlins/laughy.gif" />

 

[ckent]

Hey Kadrya, Don't know everything about your financial situation, but if I were you, I would try and find $750 from my own resources. I can see how someone might not understand if they were to pay for your deposit towards a school at your request, and then you were to end up not going to that school. A risky but potentially helpful move might be to get a new credit card with one of those 0% APR for several months deals to pay for it, and then accumulate the $750 over the next few months so that you can pay it off before you end up having to pay interest in it. I'm sure that you can find things to cut back on in your life and you can put in a few more hours for the next few months to come up with $750.

 

[Kadyra]

Can't ask either of my real parents as they are both deceased. My step parents are my only option as my oldest brother just bought a house and my other older brother's wife just had a baby. And since my stepdad is in a bad way, that leaves my stepmom.

I guess I could sell a bunch of stuff on ebay. That's an interesting idea. It might work if I have to make the third deposit for that school (another $1000 due May 1). However, I've pretty much overextended my financial resources so coming up with the $750 in 2 weeks, is out of the question. And another credit card is definitely not the answer. I have too many already.

So I am stuck working up the nerve to call my stepmom later tonight. Thanks for the advice everyone. I am sure I'm going to need it

 

[Medic171]

The credit card idea is a good one. Credit cards can cause a lot of pain if you do not manage them responsibly and properly. That said, my visa has bailed me out of some tough situations. With the med school debt you are going to accumulate, I would not be to worried about $750 on a credit card if it makes the difference between going to med school or not(deposit is required to keep your spot).

Another option maybe an emergency loan. I am not sure what college you are at or what banks are near you. Here at MSU, the college and student government have a short term emergency loan program designed for students in predicaments like yours, check into it.

If you are getting financial aid or student loans, you also may try contacting your schools finaid office. They are often able to increase your stafford loan amounts by $1000 or less on short notice if you tell them you need it.

Good Luck, but keep the family out of your finances if you can, use them only as a last resort or suffer their rath <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" />

 

[CoffeeCat]

Contact the DO school and tell them that you're short on cash but want to reserve a spot with them. Why not? I'm sure that they would be understanding.

Oooh, and I know the feeling of being dependent on people for money. It hurts. Just think about how someday you'll be independent and never have to go through that again.

Good luck with it all.

Maybe we should take up a SDN collection?!

 

[Kadyra]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by CoffeeCat:
•Maybe we should take up a SDN collection?!•••••Ha! I wish. :wink:

I'm not a student anymore, so asking student government or financial aid isn't an option. Neither is getting another credit card. I used them quite irresponsibly my junior year and I have an amazing debt now. I still have good credit though.

I guess I will wait until tomorrow to call my stepmom. I will try calling the school, but since I waited so long because I was waiting to hear from another school, I doubt they'll be very sympathetic.

Thanks.