egpndoc

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ANYONE LEAVING BEHIND A GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND

Is anyone leaving behind a gf or bf to go to dental school? How are you handling this? Any advice from someone who has already done it? How do you say goodbye?
 

Slash

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I've contemplated making this very decision as well. My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years, but the relationship has had it's ups and major downs. She's willing to move away with me while I attend dental school in the future, but I don't know if I want that additional stress in my life while I'm in dental school. She can be the jealous type (even though she denies it) at times and I feel that in the back of her mind she thinks I'll someday meet a female dental/pharm/med student and just drop her like a bad habit. And in a way, that may become a self-fulfilling prophesy. The thought of being single in dental school is appealing to me, as is being a single dentist playing the field someday. I know it's nice to have somebody to come home to, but at what point do you decide not to settle? Anyways, I'm not sure if I addressed your question of how to leave somebody behind, but if anything at least you know I share your dilemma.
 
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It all depends. Being single is nice in some ways, but you don't have much time to meet someone outside of school and class incest is never good.

You want as little drama in school as possible as it's stressful enough as it is. Settling is never an option. You'll always resent that if you know you settled and could have done better.
 
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lunguv

Ya I am in the same position. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, but unfortunatelly she is a year behind me so no matter what we will have to be apart our first year. I also decided I won't go to my state school (IU) so we will be away from each other for sure. I wish I could say I knew how it will turn out, but I have no clue...should be interesting.
 

BeachLuvr

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I left someone behind :) Actually, he moved away and I decided that I wanted to go to dental school more than follow him around and live out his dream. Selfish? Maybe... I think it would be a tough thing to hang on to a relationship from a distance, and might actually do you both some good to allow one another to expore new opportunities :) If it's mean to be, it will be... Personally, I can't wait to meet new people both at school and in the area :) As great as a relationship is, being single does have its perks :)
 

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I know I'm going to do whatever it takes to stay with my girlfriend. I'm positive she's the right one for me and if I have to make sacrifices...so be it. It really depends on how serious you are with your significant other.
 

IWuvTeef

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i've been with my guy for 3 years. he is pre-med and is a year behind me. we are in-love and want to get married after we are both done with professional school. it will be hard not seeing each other everyday for the next 4 years, but i have faith in our relationship. i plan on staying faithful during dental school. it will definetly be a test that shows if we are really meant to be together.
 

rajmahal1980

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Wow you really do wuv ur guy lol!
I must say I'm very impressed by you IWuvTeef, all your posts on this website are very positive and we all need to be more like you. I'm in a similar situation to you so I wish you all the best!
 

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rajmahal2004 said:
Wow you really do wuv ur guy lol!
I must say I'm very impressed by you IWuvTeef, all your posts on this website are very positive and we all need to be more like you. I'm in a similar situation to you so I wish you all the best!
thanks. i wish you the best as well. :p
 

Slash

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IWuvTeef said:
i've been with my guy for 3 years. he is pre-med and is a year behind me. we are in-love and want to get married after we are both done with professional school. it will be hard not seeing each other everyday for the next 4 years, but i have faith in our relationship. i plan on staying faithful during dental school. it will definetly be a test that shows if we are really meant to be together.
It will definitely be a test. I've been through a long-distance relationship like the kind you speak of. I was "in love" with my high school girlfriend of three years. There was a problem though...I got into a top Ivy-league college and couldn't turn down the opportunity while she attended a state university. There was 2000 miles of separation between us. In the early stages of the long-distance relationship, we talked on the phone every night, sent each other cute e-mails and e-cards, used web cams to communicate and see each other....but that can only carry you so far. You need physical contact (to see each other and spend time in each other's physical presence) in order to sustain a healthy relationship, in my opinion. To make a long story short, by our second year in college the long distance was taking its toll. As my social network started to expand, I started to become more aware of other wonderful women on my campus . No longer was I checking my e-mail every couple of hours to see if my girlfriend had e-mailed me. We still talked every night on the phone, but the phone calls became shorter and less involved from both ends. It became easier for her and I to say that one of us were really tired and going to bed. By the end of our second year in college we mutually decided to break it off. The long distance is killer on a relationship no matter how much "in love" you are. But that's only my male perspective, a female might feel differently. And I'm sure there are plenty of long-distance success stories out there.
 

Divineimpetus

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I have already explained to my girlfriend that once we go to our respective professional schools our relationship is dissolved. It is hard, but not breaking up and staying with them long distance is time consuming and expensive, notwithstanding relationship break ups are commonly messy and emotionally cumbersome, especially if you have been with them for a while.
 

BillMSU

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here's an interesting question then: how far do you think is to far for a long distance relationship to work? I'm curious to see what people think.
 

IWuvTeef

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i just feel that if you want something really badly, you can make it happen. who knows, maybe you think i'm a dreamer...but all i can say is that i have a scarey amount of will power.

kinda like being a pre-dent. sure we could've partied 4 times a week like our other friends, but we chose to study our butts off to get to where we are today. it's all about sacrifice.

i'm not saying that it will be easy to be in a long distance relationship, but i feel the pros outweigh the cons. 4 years is nothing compared to sharing a life time with someone you know is your other half. i don't know how strong you people's relationsips are, but i'm confident mine can last if i put in the effort.
 

IWuvTeef

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AUG2UAG said:
is his name Teef? that's a pretty cool name for a guy, if that is his name, especially if he becomes a physician-- Dr. Teef Magoo MD
nah, just a funny way of saying "I love teeth." :D
 

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Slash said:
It will definitely be a test. I've been through a long-distance relationship like the kind you speak of. I was "in love" with my high school girlfriend of three years. There was a problem though...I got into a top Ivy-league college and couldn't turn down the opportunity while she attended a state university. There was 2000 miles of separation between us. In the early stages of the long-distance relationship, we talked on the phone every night, sent each other cute e-mails and e-cards, used web cams to communicate and see each other....but that can only carry you so far. You need physical contact (to see each other and spend time in each other's physical presence) in order to sustain a healthy relationship, in my opinion. To make a long story short, by our second year in college the long distance was taking its toll. As my social network started to expand, I started to become more aware of other wonderful women on my campus . No longer was I checking my e-mail every couple of hours to see if my girlfriend had e-mailed me. We still talked every night on the phone, but the phone calls became shorter and less involved from both ends. It became easier for her and I to say that one of us were really tired and going to bed. By the end of our second year in college we mutually decided to break it off. The long distance is killer on a relationship no matter how much "in love" you are. But that's only my male perspective, a female might feel differently. And I'm sure there are plenty of long-distance success stories out there.


I fully agree with the above comment. I have tried the long distance relationship and from my experience, no matter how much you are in-love with your partner, it seems as though it is envitable that the two of you will grow apart. I know i sound cynical, but i will continue. It seems to me its a matter of time before two people realize that its just not working out and will begin drift away. i'm sure some of you guys have these same experiences and will understand. good luck to all of your relationships.

i know that every relationship is different, and i thought mine was too.

Just be careful SDNers.

my 2 cents from experience
 

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I've been going out with a nice Indian girl for 3 weeks now. If I do get in, guess it will be goodbye, but if I don't, at least staying one more year doesn't look as bad as it did 3 weeks ago.
 

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well, i have been biting my nail and not being sure if i wanted to post in this thread. apparently, i couldnt hold back so here it is.LOL

i am a 1st yr dental student living with my fiance and a 5 yr old daughter. i have to admit that knowing someone is waiting for you at home could be the best thing in the world. i have lived with my fiance for th past 6 years and have loved most of it. i think that every relationship has its ups and downs and nothing will ever be perfetct. sure i have thought about what life would have been like had i been single while in dental school. its not easy to have the dental school stress and have your downs at home so why do i do it?

you know why? because ultimately its the love part that matters. if you truly love someone, nothing could come between you. and that includes dental school.
 

IWuvTeef

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PERFECT3435 said:
well, i have been biting my nail and not being sure if i wanted to post in this thread. apparently, i couldnt hold back so here it is.LOL

i am a 1st yr dental student living with my fiance and a 5 yr old daughter. i have to admit that knowing someone is waiting for you at home could be the best thing in the world. i have lived with my fiance for th past 6 years and have loved most of it. i think that every relationship has its ups and downs and nothing will ever be perfetct. sure i have thought about what life would have been like had i been single while in dental school. i also have thought about why do i go through this extra stress/headache (in tough times) at home when i could easily find someone else.

you know why? because ultimately its the love part that matters. if you truly love someone, nothing could come between you. and that includes dental school.

^^^ :p :thumbup:
 

UofT-Girl

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soo, just out of curiosity after reading everyones posts,

Do you guys feel that it's better not to be in a relationship, and hold everything off, until you get into dental school? How do you guys feel about this?
 

frogger33

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hmmm...

I was not going to say anything, but I thought I might shed some light for those who WANT to stay with significant other through this whole process. My boyfriend and I met our senior year in high school, made it through college (being apart for only our freshman year), his first two years of medical school (although we live together), and now me going to dental school. He is working hard to try and get a residency where I will be.

Needless to say, my boyfriend and I have been happily together for almost 7 years. It's a funny thing, but you can really tell which relationships will make it and which wont right off the bat. It totally depends on the type of relationship you have meaning how dedicated you are to one another, how much you REALLY love eachother, whether you want to actually stay with this person, and most importantly how compatable you are. Throughout our seven years we have only had one "tough" time, other than that we have both been happy as can be. That is not to say that being apart is not difficult becuase you WILL miss eachother, holding eachother, etc... But our relationship has never been "Hard" per say.

The best advice I can give you is that if you want to say with your significant other take each day one at a time. you never know what life can throw at you, so as long as you are happily together, there is nothing to worry about. If you one day you guys find that things are not good, then deide what to do then. Make sure that your other TRULY understands what a dedication dental school is and how busy you are going to be. This is probably what broke up most couples in his med school class.

The best advice I can give those of you who are not sure and want to "maybe" experience being single, BE SINGLE!! It will not be easy going through a long distance relationship when you deep inside your heart it is not what you really want. You will only hurt eachother more in the long run. You do not want to grow to resent them, and therefore do not hold on to them beause you feel bad.

Either way, remember that if it is meant to be it will be. Only YOU know what your relationship means to you and whether it is something you want or not. Good luck to all of you!! :D
 

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Ok here's another related question...
Say I was going to apply this coming cycle... should I even bother dating and potentially getting attached to someone, or just wait a while? Prob a stupid question, but just your thoughts on pursuing females while in the application process.
 

frogger33

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IcemanDDS said:
Ok here's another related question...
Say I was going to apply this coming cycle... should I even bother dating and potentially getting attached to someone, or just wait a while? Prob a stupid question, but just your thoughts on pursuing females while in the application process.
Hang out with your friends, meet people, meet girls, date, have fun, and just enjoy yourself ! ! ! !
Just becuase you date someone does not mean it is going to become a serious relationship. No need to TRY and put your life one hold... just enjoy life and what it has to offer you.
 

TucsonDDS

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There is a very good chance that I will be moving 2000 miles away from my wife and 2 children for the first year. Her mom is going to have a kidney transplant at the end of march I would bet money that she is going to want to stay for a year or so. Am I concerned that we are going to "grow apart", not in a million years. I sure am going to miss my kids though. The only good thing is that I will have plenty of time to study.
 

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Just because you are in dental school doesn't mean your life stops. If you go in with that attitude it's going to be a lonnnng four years. Life still continues while in dental school... No reason to ponder the "what ifs" game. One day at a time, my friends...one day at a time


Beach
 

PERFECT3435

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BeachLuvr said:
Just because you are in dental school doesn't mean your life stops. If you go in with that attitude it's going to be a lonnnng four years. Life still continues while in dental school... No reason to ponder the "what ifs" game. One day at a time, my friends...one day at a time


Beach
very good response there.

again, as long as you both understand what the next 4 years gonna be like then everything would be fine. ok mostly fine.

when my fiance and i 1st moved out to Indiana we got questions from my upper classmen about wether we knew what dental school was gonna be like while in a relationship. i used wonder why people would ask me those things. well, not to discuss my whole personal relationship with my fiance, just about a week ago i thought my life was horrible. we had a major fight and most of it was about how i am never home. now most of the time when i am not home i am at the library growing gray hair. its not that i am not trusted or anything. its just that you still have to somehow be responsible for the loved ones at home even though you have to worry about things at the school.

bottom line, your responsibilties do grow larger and life at times feels definitely HARD. however, you have to find a way to work through it.
like another poster wrote earlier, if you are thinking about ifs and what ifs then you are probably not as much in love with him/her as you may think. i would leave that relationship behind. on the other hand, i assure you that if you truly love him/her, you will overcome problems and work things out. although i have to admit that it may not be that easy in times.
 

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Hi everyone,
Since I'm in the middle of this longdistance thing, I'm going to post some of my thoughts. My bf is a year ahead of me, he's in arizona attending medical school. As for me, I have just gotten accepted to UW, Upenn, and UConn for entry this fall. I have to say, long distance is very hard, esp. if you guys started off really close, seeing each other everyday. I remember when he left, I just cried and cried. Not because he wasn't next to me, but because I knew this would be a long journey. It was a good thing my DATs was coming up in a month, so I just studied my butt off. I studied to get him off my mind, but it still sucks. Anyway, from last summer till now, we talk everyday. i read that someone earlier posted that this is the norm, and later, the phone calls would just get less frequent. I'm sure when I enter dental school, our conversations would be much shorter. However, I still believe we would do anything to keep up.

Right now, Im in a really difficult position because he's in arizona and the only school close to him in UWashington. (I haven't even heard back from Arizona about an interview or not). I dont want anyone especially me to sway my decision. We both agreed that he would try to do his residency wherever I'm at. This is still 3 years from now, but that;s the plan so far.

Anyway, for the girls and guys out there who are either leaving for dental school,or away from their bfs/gfs bc they're going somewhere else, long distance is definitely very difficult, but it isn't impossible.

And just as an encouragment, my bf flew up here this weekend to spend early Valentines' day with me =)

Definitely talk with your significant other about this long distance thing. It takes two to tango, good luck to everyone with schools and love!
 
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egpndoc

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cmj2 said:
Hi everyone,
Since I'm in the middle of this longdistance thing, I'm going to post some of my thoughts. My bf is a year ahead of me, he's in arizona attending medical school. As for me, I have just gotten accepted to UW, Upenn, and UConn for entry this fall. I have to say, long distance is very hard, esp. if you guys started off really close, seeing each other everyday. I remember when he left, I just cried and cried. Not because he wasn't next to me, but because I knew this would be a long journey. It was a good thing my DATs was coming up in a month, so I just studied my butt off. I studied to get him off my mind, but it still sucks. Anyway, from last summer till now, we talk everyday. i read that someone earlier posted that this is the norm, and later, the phone calls would just get less frequent. I'm sure when I enter dental school, our conversations would be much shorter. However, I still believe we would do anything to keep up.

Right now, Im in a really difficult position because he's in arizona and the only school close to him in UWashington. (I haven't even heard back from Arizona about an interview or not). I dont want anyone especially me to sway my decision. We both agreed that he would try to do his residency wherever I'm at. This is still 3 years from now, but that;s the plan so far.

Anyway, for the girls and guys out there who are either leaving for dental school,or away from their bfs/gfs bc they're going somewhere else, long distance is definitely very difficult, but it isn't impossible.

And just as an encouragment, my bf flew up here this weekend to spend early Valentines' day with me =)

Definitely talk with your significant other about this long distance thing. It takes two to tango, good luck to everyone with schools and love!
Has anyone actually experienced the saying goodbye part, that must be the hardest thing. anyone want to share some experiences?
 

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lunguv said:
Ya I am in the same position. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, but unfortunatelly she is a year behind me so no matter what we will have to be apart our first year. I also decided I won't go to my state school (IU) so we will be away from each other for sure. I wish I could say I knew how it will turn out, but I have no clue...should be interesting.
But the important question is....are you bringing the WRX to dental school too?
 

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PERFECT3435 said:
well, i have been biting my nail and not being sure if i wanted to post in this thread. apparently, i couldnt hold back so here it is.LOL

i am a 1st yr dental student living with my fiance and a 5 yr old daughter. i have to admit that knowing someone is waiting for you at home could be the best thing in the world. i have lived with my fiance for th past 6 years and have loved most of it. i think that every relationship has its ups and downs and nothing will ever be perfetct. sure i have thought about what life would have been like had i been single while in dental school. i also have thought about why do i go through this extra stress/headache (in tough times) at home when i could easily find someone else.

you know why? because ultimately its the love part that matters. if you truly love someone, nothing could come between you. and that includes dental school.


I just puked my dinner up...................................... :(


Amazing post....
 

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Be up front with her, she deserves that much from you. You might as well tell her now rather than take her through the ringer.

Beach
 
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blumnday99 said:
But the important question is....are you bringing the WRX to dental school too?
Of course!!! :) I can't leave it home, it would get mad at me ;).
 

rocknightmare

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why does everybody seem to want to play the single thing during dental school? am i the only one that feels that will be lonely as hell not being in a relationship?
 

IcemanDDS

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rocknightmare said:
why does everybody seem to want to play the single thing during dental school? am i the only one that feels that will be lonely as hell not being in a relationship?
You wont be lonely if you make some friends at d-school, and see what happens with any of the females. Besides you'll be too busy studyin to be lonely :D
 

frogger33

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rocknightmare said:
why does everybody seem to want to play the single thing during dental school? am i the only one that feels that will be lonely as hell not being in a relationship?

Well, some people are only in their relationship b/c it is convienent at the time, and kind of see dental school as a good reason to break up. If you are truely in love and happy, you do not look at this way.

In high school many couples break up to play the college field, and I guess the same thing happens when some go into dental school.

Also, remember that relationships can require time and effort, and I guess many do not want to deal with that ontop of dental school stress.

For me, however, my relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years is the one thing that I am sure about for the future!! :)
 

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lunguv said:
Of course!!! :) I can't leave it home, it would get mad at me ;).
I know what you mean....I've got an 03 Mach 1 which I think is just about all the company I'll need for dental school...
 

JakeMUSC

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Long distance sucks....don't do it...too many distractions and temptations...good luck :luck:
 
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blumnday99 said:
I know what you mean....I've got an 03 Mach 1 which I think is just about all the company I'll need for dental school...
Ooooh...that’s a sweet ride! Pure American RWD power!! Ya I am pretty passionate about my car, it ranks closely with my friends, gf, family, and school :). Pretty pathetic, but hey what you going to do!
 

deebog01

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I've been in three ~2 year long-distance relationships. Watch out for the typical long-distance pattern (Typical in the sence that most people that I've discussed this with agree. Just the same, don't rule out the possiblity that I'm slightly biased): Things are sad at first cause you're not used to being apart. Then things get better, and you appreciate the time that you're together more. Going home is always sad... eventually it starts to get better, and you start to look at your life of independance differently... still in love, but becoming more in love with yourself. This is where the problem starts. In every relationship in my experience... when we finally ended up living in the same town, we broke up. Twice it was her, and once I made the decision. In long-distance relationships, someone ends up in love with both the other person, and in love with the independance (I honestly feel it's inevitable and quite subconcious). When you come back together, either you or her/him or both has to give up a bit of that independance... believe me... after a long time apart, that can be a really big sacrifice. More often than not, somebody in the realationship chooses independance. In my last experience her independance came in the form of a man old enough to be her father who knew how to break-dance, DJ and blow minty-fresh breezes from his @$$ :eek: . Mmmm... I trusted her more than anyone in the world, and in the end, what I didn't know because of the distance between us really did hurt me. Just be careful. I don't want to sway anyone from trying it out, but when in a long-distance relationship, make sure you are honest with eachother. Look for important signs. Good luck everyone.

-Deebog
 

DDS2BE

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This is the saddest threat on SDN I think. I can't even visualize myself being apart from my girlfriend and never have for the past 5 years.
 

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Any relationship can work if you want it to. My sister dated her doctor husband since he was an undergraduate. For thirteen years he traveled the entire US for medical school, before they finally got to be w/ each other. I tell you it was very tough for them. She cried to me so many times and fought 20x more than they saw each other. It definitely played a toll on both of them, but this last year he became a full time physician and they got married. Even though they have dated for so long, they don't know each other as much as my boyfriend and I who have been dating for six years.

Going through it w/ my sister I have to say long distance relationship is not for the faint of heart. Although dental school is much shorter than medical school, any type of long distance relationship will be hard. I guess only you and your sig other can determine if you want to work it out. Both have to be willing to understand what the other person is going through...this is SO important. This is definitely the reason why it worked for them. If you have any doubts at this very moment, it won't work. Break up now, it's not worth prolonging something that is inevitable. But then again, who said relationships were easy in the first place.
 

deebog01

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DDS2BE said:
This is the saddest threat on SDN I think. I can't even visualize myself being apart from my girlfriend and never have for the past 5 years.
Hey DDS2BE,

you should hook me ups with some gmail. I can offer good karma as payment.

-Deebog :D
 

grinningrice

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DDS2BE said:
This is the saddest threat on SDN I think.
Seriously....it makes me so sad when I think I am going to be apart from my boyfriend. I cried when I got the acceptance letter because it said orientation starts July 27th. Im missing his birthday :(
 

DDS2BE

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Dentist
I personally don't believe in a long-distance relationship as gone through this and failed.
 

DDS2BE

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deebog01 said:
Hey DDS2BE,

you should hook me ups with some gmail. I can offer good karma as payment.

-Deebog :D
PM me with your email, i still have 91 invites left
 

frogger33

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For those entering a long distance relationship....

If it is meant to be it will be. My Boyfriend and I met our senior year in high school and did the long distance thing for a year and a half when we first went to college. Now, seven (almost eight) years later we are still happily together. He is starting his third year of medical school in a month and i will be leaving him once again this fall to start dental school. Yeah, distance is not fun but you make the best of the situation and enjoy the time you do spend together and the time you spend talking on the phone. The best advise I have for you is communication!!!
 

tam0026

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egpndoc said:
Has anyone actually experienced the saying goodbye part, that must be the hardest thing. anyone want to share some experiences?
we didn't say goodbye, just said when we'd see each other again. Looking towards the next time you'll be together helps ease the pain. Make a date or book a flight for your next visit. Then it's like saying "See ya soon."