•••quote:•••Originally posted by Nanon:
•I'm 33, and have a year to go for undergrad before applying to med school. My husband and I decided to try to get pregnant sometime this year.
The most appauling thing about all of this has been the reactions I've gotten - "Are you still planning on going to medical school?" "Where are your priorities? You CAN'T be a good mother and a good doctor at the same time!" "Well, I guess you'll be one of THOSE moms, who don't really raise their kids, but leave it to a nanny." No one ever asks my husband how much time he plans to spend with the kid, or how he'll juggle his career with a family. In fact, I got into an hour long "discussion" with a friend of ours who's a stay at home mom, and he was sitting right next to me. She flat out told me it couldn't be done. She told me that nothing less than a year of breast feeding was good for the kid, that I would never be able to bond with my child unless I stayed home with it for the first three years, that an epidural was the worst thing I could do to my kid
, etc. She never once addressed any concern to Scott.
I'm relating this story, because I think it has a lot to do with the fact that women ARE waiting so long. There's a lot of guilt-tripping around being a mom, even if you don't have a career. If you listen to it, you can be made to feel like a monster for even considering having a kid and a career.
It hasn't detered me, and I'll tell you why. I grew up without a stay-at-home parent, and I'm fine. In fact, I grew up much of the time in foster care, and I turned into a functional, happy adult anyway. Regardless of what was going on in my care-takers lives, I knew I was loved and respected and wanted, even by the mother who couldn't take care of me. So I am led to believe that that's what's important, not whether or not I breastfeed for a year.
One more point - a LOT of women put off children because their HUSBANDS aren't ready. That was our situation, and the situation of many of my friends. If you want kids early in a marriage, make sure that your prospective husband is either older (in his 30's) or really wants kids right away (in his 20's).
Just another opinion,
Nanon•••••Nanon, tell your friend that she belongs in the caveman era. The woman is a complete *****. I bet she also is totally against the woman's movement ever happening and that women should continue being subservient to men.
What nerve!! I grew up in a single parent household, and my mom had to leave me at home while she went to work. I grew up just fine, and I am pleased to say that I have a very loving relationship with my mother. I bet you many kids, who had their mom stay at home with them, would envy the close relationship that I have with my mother. She also never breast fed me. I can't believe the stupidity of this woman in implying that this is the only way for a mother to bond with her child. I am sorry, but at that age, the infant does not know the difference between a nipple and a bottle. All he or she cares about is getting milk!! Nanon, you don't worry about a thing. You will be a great mother and doctor because of the simple fact that you are worrying about this issue. Oh, and about the epidural: I am signing up for it in the future without a second thought. It's medical technology at its finest. Use it!! :wink:
Cane
Us type A's are predisposed to plan and organize way too much. while that may be a benefit with regards to career... it takes alot of the fun out of life. 
