best time for children ?

[NineSixteen]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by kafka79:
•Anyone out there who just doesn't want to have kids? Just curious•••••I don't want to have kids and when I tell people this they find it hard to believe. How can a woman not want children? EVERYONE has told me that eventually I'll feel differently. I think not. Call me selfish, but I have big career goals and it would be nearly impossible to accomplish what I want to do with a family. I disagree with the notion that a woman has to have a career and a family to be considered successful, as if "something is missing" if you are childless. I guess my thoughts are the same as the other postings on this thread, that it's next to impossible to do both motherhood and successful physician really well at the same time. One of the two will suffer, and choices need to me made.

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[Tweetie_bird]

I know what you mean. I come from the other side of the spectrum--i didn't see a need to be married either, but i always thought I'd like to have a child someday (through adoption). Ofcourse, all this changed once I met somebody, and now I feel like i would like to experience the whole thing start with pregnancy et al, although I still have plans to adopt a child.

For those of you that are concerned with age--I have worked in an IVF clinic for a long time, and I have seen TONS of successful women come in and have their eggs recovered and frozen until they decide at a later date to thaw them and do an embryo transfer. The only problem with old age pregnancy is that the eggs may not be as "fresh" (pardon my laymen's terms), but that can be taken care of with egg recoveries and subsequent in vitro fertilizations with your husband/significant other. Otherwise, older women are capable of having babies just as well as younger women....just my 2 cents.

Tweetie

 

[commymommy]

I agree that we are talking about planning here...and I do recognize that today "families" mean many things...but we are talking as a group of women here who are planning the "right time" to have a child. Certainly, if I was talking to two homosexual men who are wanting to adopt, I'd come at it from a different perspective, but it would still be that the baby needs both parents..and so I really believe that the child needs both parents...be they mom and dad or mom and mom...many studies that have been done have also suggested that children growing up in single-parent households have a higher tendency towards truancy and drug abuse.....

This isn't a topic that is just being debated by future physicians...it's a universal thought by women and men too....My non-medical friends are debating it all the time...There are people out there with certain financial goals, etc..that want to have X dollars in the bank, a house, etc..before they consider family planning and they do it in a meticulous, calculated fashion. "I must be pregnant in September to have the baby in June so that I can have the summer off" etc etc...

Sometimes this works out fine...but many times (as those of us who are planners know) things don't work out quite like that...babies come early, pregnancies can be difficult, babies can be born with disabilities, spouse's can lose jobs....there are really no certainties.

I don't claim to have the answer, and when my husband and I were surprised by the unplanned pregnancy of our first child shortly after we were married, we decided to embrace it as something that was meant to be. I chose to decline my med school admission and wait for a better time in my life..perhaps I will live the fate of many women who have gone before me waiting for a better time to have children...and I will end up not gettting into medical school just as they end up childless? More and more I find myself forced to look at that possibility, as uncomfortable and painful as it is. I'm not ready to embrace that idea yet though. Unfortunately, they haven't perfected the idea of freezing the brain cells for future use

Kris

 

[gel1]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by Zack90:
•Well..... I'm very happy my infant daughter has two Dad's - no hypercompetitive mothers in this family of three!•••••Wow, that's great! How do you both split responsibilities? How does medicine and med school fit into both of your lives? Just curious.

 

[Winged Scapula]

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