Best time to get married in medical school?

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Sandwich

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Hi Yallll,

So I begin MS1 this August and my fiance and I are newly engaged. We want to get married in no longer than a year and a half so winter of 2011-2012 being the latest.

My question is -- what is the best time for a medical student to get married if you're going to do it in MS1 or MS2.

I know summer between first year and second year is probably the best --

but what about Winter break of MS2? Is there too much going on with the boards at this point, or not quite yet?

Also - if we did get married during the winter break of MS2 - then we would go on our honeymoon during our spring break (we are going to the same med school). Would it be possible to go on a trip during spring break of MS2? -- or is that time only used for studying for the boards?

Thanks for any advice/input. And if you are dying to suggest we wait till after med school, it's not gonna happen :) We aren't paying for the wedding so finance is luckily not an issue.

Thanks!!

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Hi Yallll,



I know summer between first year and second year is probably the best --
but what about Winter break of MS2? Is there too much going on with the boards at this point, or not quite yet?

Also - if we did get married during the winter break of MS2 - then we would go on our honeymoon during our spring break (we are going to the same med school). Would it be possible to go on a trip during spring break of MS2? -- or is that time only used for studying for the boards?


Thanks!!

Yes, that would be the best time. Do not plan anything for M2.
I dont know if you want to go from your honeymoon straight into step 1 studying.
 
I'd recommend the summer between M1 and M2. I didn't do any board study during Spring break of M2, but it would be very rushed trying to fit in a honeymoon between classes. Trying to plan a wedding during the fall of M2 would be tricky, but possible. I'm getting married halfway through my pediatrics rotation during the Spring of M3, so I suppose I'm living proof that if you want it, you can find time during any year of med school to get married!
 
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An M2 ahead of me got married over Xmas break with a short honeymoon.

I think it depends on the level of involvement in your wedding. If you're just going to Vegas, you could plan around your exam schedule :)

If you're doing the church, reception, whole nine yards, the summer in between MS1 and MS2 will afford you the most time. And when it comes to weddings, at least big ones (mine had 300+ guests), the last month was full of tiny details that almost drove me nuts. If it weren't for the fact that my mom wanted to have a big party, I would have happily married in Vegas :p

But I digress....
 
The summer between M1 and M2 year is best. I would suggest toward the end of the summer. The wedding isn't really the problem; the planning is the problem. The last poster pointed out that the last month of the wedding is full of tiny little details you'd never really think about, and it's true. I would suggest that you have the wedding a month to a month and a half before M2 year. This will give you school-free time prior to the wedding to solidify the tiny details and school-free time after the wedding to settle into your marriage a bit.
 
In my class there have been 2 weddings during spring of M1, and a couple more now during the summer after M1. No one seemed to have any difficulties with either.

I don't know about M2, but I would suspect that would result in you having to postpone the honeymoon until after you take Step 1. Depending on your school schedule and involvement in the wedding, that may or may not be a good idea.
 
Is there time for marriage between the MS2 and MS3 year or is that summer not very long? I guess I'm tryna figure out how long after MS2 classes end (and after step 1), the third yr typically starts. (I will also b starting MS1 n aug and I'm trying to solve this marriage issue)
 
The gap between 2 and 3rd year is pretty variable because it depends on both the school and when you take Step 1. At my school, most people have about 3-4 weeks off, but I know people taking as little as a week and a half off and some who planned on finishing with about a 6 week break.
 
Get married the summer between MS1 and MS2. Go on honeymoon during fall break or winter break of MS2 or during the summer if you can
 
Is there time for marriage between the MS2 and MS3 year or is that summer not very long? I guess I'm tryna figure out how long after MS2 classes end (and after step 1), the third yr typically starts. (I will also b starting MS1 n aug and I'm trying to solve this marriage issue)

I myself know nothing of holy matrimony or even managing a relationship in med school, but two of my friends got married last year, one between M1 and M2 year (with two very detailed ceremonies! Catholic + Hindu) and one right after she took her boards after M2 (also two ceremonies, one abroad (she's Jewish) before she started rotations and one at home during one of her early M3 rotations in mid-August). So I think either summer is doable, but definitely if you or your fiance is going to be majorly involved in planning, between M1 and M2 makes more sense.
 
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Summer btw MS1 and MS2 is when you should have more free time. You will be studying for Step 1 during summer of MS2 and then rotations are... unpredictable. If you won't wait till you are out of school, do it ASAP.
 
I'm just curious: how do you (or anyone) afford getting married during medschool?
 
I'm just curious: how do you (or anyone) afford getting married during medschool?

money they've saved up from working before/during school? eating ramen to save that loan money? rich parents/family? for me it would have to be begging both families to pay for it hahaha. not that i'm even engaged... :(
 
I'm just curious: how do you (or anyone) afford getting married during medschool?

Beats me. It's worse when marrying another medical student going to the same school and in the same class as you. They'd probably drive each other crazy (like "I'll shoot you with my bazooka if you ask me to make love to you or even talk to me for another minute. Med school keep f**** us every single day, isn't enough already woman, what else do you want?" crazy!)
 
supposedly first year of marriage is the hardest, but either way, you're not going to find it easy to find time for each other in 3rd year, try to get in as much marriage time before 3rd year as possible.
 
I got married after M1. Divorced five years later. Divorce settlement netted ex-wife 50% of my earnings until I was 35, since she supported me financially in med school.
 
I got married after M1. Divorced five years later. Divorce settlement netted ex-wife 50% of my earnings until I was 35, since she supported me financially in med school.

i'm curious about the title you put, saying not to do it until after you graduate. why would that have made a difference?
 
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Maybe should have said to get a pre-nup.
 
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I got married after M1. Divorced five years later. Divorce settlement netted ex-wife 50% of my earnings until I was 35, since she supported me financially in med school.

So let me get this right. You should wait till you're done with school when your earnings are higher so that when you get divorced (according to you), you pay more?
 
I'm just curious: how do you (or anyone) afford getting married during medschool?

My fiance had been working previously, so he saved some money. Also, we had several people cut us a break. My friend who's a photographer took the pictures for free, my fiance's cousin who's a pastry chef did the cake, my cousins who are wedding planners did the decorating, my fiance's brother-in-law who is a chef did the catering for cost, etc. Basicly we just know a bunch of people who are awesome. Otherwise, we would not have been able to get married.
 
What is usually the time frame between graduation and internship? Any chance of getting a wedding in there?
 
What is usually the time frame between graduation and internship? Any chance of getting a wedding in there?

Depends on the sched at your school. Typically, you graduate in mid May and most residencies start in Jearly uly but i've heard of some people starting later than their class if there is some emergency. Remember that you would not be getting a paycheck till august so that time from mid may till august will be tight so take that into account if your're planning an expensive even like a wedding during that period especially if you have to move out of state for residency.

You could also do a transitional year (typically in medicine or surgery) between graduation and residency but these are not that much easier than regular internship
 
i'm curious about the title you put, saying not to do it until after you graduate. why would that have made a difference?


This isn't rocket surgery. It's pretty clear he's implying that getting married with 3 years of medical school left was a bad idea, and that some the problems with his marriage were a result of the difficulty in managing medical school and a new marriage.

Not that residency would be much easier to manage a newly minted marriage, I agree (although he didn't specify how LONG after graduating he suggests to wait), but I'm sure 3 years of medical school took its toll.
 
This isn't rocket surgery. It's pretty clear he's implying that getting married with 3 years of medical school left was a bad idea, and that some the problems with his marriage were a result of the difficulty in managing medical school and a new marriage.

Not that residency would be much easier to manage a newly minted marriage, I agree (although he didn't specify how LONG after graduating he suggests to wait), but I'm sure 3 years of medical school took its toll.

If you look at his post he seems more bitter at the 50% earnings he had to pay his ex. What i dont understand is how waiting would change that. Hes implying that he would not have had to do that if she had not helped him through med school.
 
What is usually the time frame between graduation and internship? Any chance of getting a wedding in there?

DO NOT DO THIS! Internship is not the time to have a new marriage.. You are stressed as hell and have n time at all to commit towards your marriage unless you're in luck and only have a 60hr-wk internship. And even then...
 
This isn't rocket surgery. It's pretty clear he's implying that getting married with 3 years of medical school left was a bad idea, and that some the problems with his marriage were a result of the difficulty in managing medical school and a new marriage.

Not that residency would be much easier to manage a newly minted marriage, I agree (although he didn't specify how LONG after graduating he suggests to wait), but I'm sure 3 years of medical school took its toll.

:rolleyes: yea ok i didn't ask you. if you ask me, dexmed and mr hawkings had better things to say. but you didn't ask me, either :smuggrin:.
 
If you look at his post he seems more bitter at the 50% earnings he had to pay his ex. What i dont understand is how waiting would change that. Hes implying that he would not have had to do that if she had not helped him through med school.

Because the fact that she supported him financially while he was in medical school is what made them make that decision @ 50% of his earnings. If he had waited until after medical school to get married and subsequently gotten divorced, the outcome from divorce court probably would've been different.
 
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Because the fact that she supported him financially while he was in medical school is what made them make that decision @ 50% of his earnings. If he had waited until after medical school to get married and subsequently gotten divorced, the outcome from divorce court probably would've been different.

A court can order you to pay 50% of your future eanings after a divorce? I've heard of 50% of what they accumulated before the divorce but never anything that much beyond allimony. Thats a little scary
 
:rolleyes: yea ok i didn't ask you. if you ask me, dexmed and mr hawkings had better things to say. but you didn't ask me, either :smuggrin:.


People don't generally ask individual posters for their specific input.

This is how a forum works.
 
People don't generally ask individual posters for their specific input.

This is how a forum works.

actually, i did specifically ask that poster why they said what they said. and i wouldn't have had a problem with you responding if you hadn't started out rudely the way you did, like i have a reading comprehension problem.
 
A court can order you to pay 50% of your future eanings after a divorce? I've heard of 50% of what they accumulated before the divorce but never anything that much beyond allimony. Thats a little scary

If that person can prove that they supported you financially while you were in school, then yes.

I can't say I find it completely ridiculous, because it could be argued that once he got his degree, he just dumped her, since he didn't need her financial support anymore. (Certainly not saying this is the case, but to an outsider looking in, I can easily see how it'd be perceived that way).
 
If that person can prove that they supported you financially while you were in school, then yes.

I can't say I find it completely ridiculous, because it could be argued that once he got his degree, he just dumped her, since he didn't need her financial support anymore. (Certainly not saying this is the case, but to an outsider looking in, I can easily see how it'd be perceived that way).

I see what you mean but i still think its a bit crazy. requesting payback for things done during the marriage is strange to me. Just as any money made during the marriage belongs to both equally, any cost incurred during the marriage is theirs equally too. So i can see him paying her half of any loan she co-signed for him for med school. I saw a friend do this when he payed his ex wife for half teh appraised value of the home he bought (she didnt work) while they were married.
Now this was not court ordered but an agreement they amicable settled on.
I guess i just have a problem with half of your future earnings going to the ex regardless of how much it is after the divorce. I mean, if he went on to do a fellowship without her help after the divorce and made an extra $100k , is she still entitled to half of that too?
 
If that person can prove that they supported you financially while you were in school, then yes.

I can't say I find it completely ridiculous, because it could be argued that once he got his degree, he just dumped her, since he didn't need her financial support anymore. (Certainly not saying this is the case, but to an outsider looking in, I can easily see how it'd be perceived that way).

Or maybe she dumped him and it can be seen as the wife cashing in on his earning potential once hes done with residency without having to stay with him. You can see it either way depending on where you stand (probably usually along gender lines)
 
I got married between M1 and M2. Didn't take a honeymoon until 18hrs after leaving the Step 1 test taking center.

It was nice being home all the time during M2, and having that first year of marriage be one where I could always be around. I would study all day, then have all evening and night to spend with my wife.

I'm sure as the wards progress, things will certainly change (but it was still nice to have that one relatively tame year).
 
Hey OP I was in a similar situation to you. I got engaged in Feb the year before MS1. I got married over Christmas break (on the first day of break actually). It seemed pretty ideal. It was extremely stressful but at least that is a somewhat less intense part of school. (I did 90% of the planning though so if you are a guy it might not be stressful at all). Also, I was able to do about 30-40% of the work in a week or two before ms1 started. The big downside is that I didn't have enough space on my guest list for my whole class, so I had to try to pick based on only knowing people for a little bit who I wanted there. In retrospect there were many people that by the time my wedding rolled around I felt really close to and wished I had invited but it was too late. In that way, it might be better to get married in year 2. Overall though, it was a wonderful experience, and I'm glad I don't have to think about it anymore.
 
I'm starting school in a month and my fiance and I decided that the sooner we could get everything official the better, so we're getting married over Thanksgiving break. Perhaps we're totally nuts, but his family is doing much of the planning and financing (apparently this is not uncommon in the Vietnamese culture), so hopefully it will not be too stressful...
I'll re-post to let everyone knows how things actually worked out :xf:
 
So I have the same question, but what if you're starting MS2 now and not engaged yet? It would be a Catholic wedding which requires 6-9 months in advance generally. And it would have to be that whole nice ceremony, reception, 300+ guests deal. When would be the next best time if you don't have that MS1-MS2 summer? honeymoon?
 
i'm in a similar situation to w1ll. starting MS2 this fall and just recently engaged. right now some options i've considered are the time between 3rd and 4th year (we get a week off then), sometime during 4th year, or even after graduation and before residency starts (i'm ok with a long engagement). any thoughts?
 
i'm in a similar situation to w1ll. starting MS2 this fall and just recently engaged. right now some options i've considered are the time between 3rd and 4th year (we get a week off then), sometime during 4th year, or even after graduation and before residency starts (i'm ok with a long engagement). any thoughts?

That first month of residency may be one of the most stressful periods in your life. I dont know if you want to be a newly wed at that time. Theres going to be a lot of strain on your relationship.
Plus you dont know where you're going to match yet. You may not have time to enjoy your post-marriage time if you have to make a big move to another city/state with your new spouse. Plus you'll be broke
 
What about getting married fourth year after third year rotations are done? I've read/heard that the fourth year is typically the easiest and least time consuming. Any opinions?
 
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Personally I'm thinking sometime after Match Day. We won't be doing anything really and there will be a few months to get settled.
 
DO NOT DO THIS! Internship is not the time to have a new marriage.. You are stressed as hell and have n time at all to commit towards your marriage unless you're in luck and only have a 60hr-wk internship. And even then...

Regarding getting married between graduation and internship.......this is exactly when everyone has told me to plan my wedding for. Honestly, if you can't make it work getting married then, then you're probably not going to make it work if you get married sometime during M3/M4 either. If your future spouse doesn't know what they're getting into, then you have no business getting married to begin with.

Really, this goes back to the whole "there's no good time to get married/have kids/etc., you just have to do it if that's what you want" discussion.
 
Hi Yallll,

So I begin MS1 this August and my fiance and I are newly engaged. We want to get married in no longer than a year and a half so winter of 2011-2012 being the latest.

My question is -- what is the best time for a medical student to get married if you're going to do it in MS1 or MS2.

I know summer between first year and second year is probably the best --

but what about Winter break of MS2? Is there too much going on with the boards at this point, or not quite yet?

Also - if we did get married during the winter break of MS2 - then we would go on our honeymoon during our spring break (we are going to the same med school). Would it be possible to go on a trip during spring break of MS2? -- or is that time only used for studying for the boards?

Thanks for any advice/input. And if you are dying to suggest we wait till after med school, it's not gonna happen :) We aren't paying for the wedding so finance is luckily not an issue.

Thanks!!

Wait til after med school...every doc I talked to said you don't wanna be married during med school. You have enough to worry about. Keep your relationship strong by all means but I personally don't wanna get married til I'm done
 
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What if we are both in med school, but one year apart in class rank? What is the best way to stay together for when I start residency and she is in 4th year? I know it's possible because two students from my school in the same situation did it recently.
 
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