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Join The Military And Get Free Cosmetic Surgery
By Robert Paul Reyes
Nov. 7, 2004
In an attempt to attract recruits, the Pentagon now offers soldiers free cosmetic surgery, from face-lifts and nose jobs to breast enlargements and liposuction. Should the Army's new slogan be: "Be all that silicon can make you"?
This special offer doesn't extend only to our brave fighting men and women. This deal also applies to immediate family members and retirees. Individuals covered by military healthcare can have as many procedures as they wish, and taxpayers foot the deal.
Now a wife's reason for encouraging her husband to join the military may be less than altruistic. "Joe you should join the military, to serve your country, see the world, get a free education, and so that I can get a free boob job.
Grunts need their commanding officer's approval because recovery averages 10 days. "Private Smith, put your gear on, we're going to attack the rebels' stronghold tonight." "Sorry Sarge, but I'm still recuperating from my nose job, here's my doctor's excuse."
Between 2000 and 2003, Army surgeons performed nearly 500 breast enlargements and more than 1,000 liposuction on both soldiers and their families, according to Pentagon statistics. Military personnel who are injured in battle receive a Purple Heart medal, emblematic of their courage and sacrifice; should those 500 female warriors who underwent breast enlargement surgery receive a Pink Boob medal, representing their vanity?
I'm a strong supporter of our courageous men and women in the military, who are defending our democratic values all over the world. In fact, I believe that they should be better paid and receive a more generous retirement plan.
But free cosmetic surgery for the military is an idiotic idea. Taxpayer money would better serve veterans who have seen a decrease in benefits during the Bush administration. Taxpayer money would better serve reservists who lack the health benefits their regularly enlisted colleagues get.
We mock our Islamic fundamentalist enemies who engage in suicidal attacks against us in a bid to enter a paradise with a harem of virgins. What must our enemies think of us if we entice our young men and women to join the military with a promise of a free nose job or larger boobs?
By Robert Paul Reyes
Nov. 7, 2004
In an attempt to attract recruits, the Pentagon now offers soldiers free cosmetic surgery, from face-lifts and nose jobs to breast enlargements and liposuction. Should the Army's new slogan be: "Be all that silicon can make you"?
This special offer doesn't extend only to our brave fighting men and women. This deal also applies to immediate family members and retirees. Individuals covered by military healthcare can have as many procedures as they wish, and taxpayers foot the deal.
Now a wife's reason for encouraging her husband to join the military may be less than altruistic. "Joe you should join the military, to serve your country, see the world, get a free education, and so that I can get a free boob job.
Grunts need their commanding officer's approval because recovery averages 10 days. "Private Smith, put your gear on, we're going to attack the rebels' stronghold tonight." "Sorry Sarge, but I'm still recuperating from my nose job, here's my doctor's excuse."
Between 2000 and 2003, Army surgeons performed nearly 500 breast enlargements and more than 1,000 liposuction on both soldiers and their families, according to Pentagon statistics. Military personnel who are injured in battle receive a Purple Heart medal, emblematic of their courage and sacrifice; should those 500 female warriors who underwent breast enlargement surgery receive a Pink Boob medal, representing their vanity?
I'm a strong supporter of our courageous men and women in the military, who are defending our democratic values all over the world. In fact, I believe that they should be better paid and receive a more generous retirement plan.
But free cosmetic surgery for the military is an idiotic idea. Taxpayer money would better serve veterans who have seen a decrease in benefits during the Bush administration. Taxpayer money would better serve reservists who lack the health benefits their regularly enlisted colleagues get.
We mock our Islamic fundamentalist enemies who engage in suicidal attacks against us in a bid to enter a paradise with a harem of virgins. What must our enemies think of us if we entice our young men and women to join the military with a promise of a free nose job or larger boobs?