Buying yourself a medical school admissions

[Dr.One]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks






Moderator note: Old joke. And this is not appropriate for Pre-Allo.

 

[mj1878]

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

Tool.

 

[Jaykms]

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

Hello mr. troll. nice to see you again

 

[RayhanS1282]

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

Well, dear sir, I find that these types of questions are best thought of over a cup of Earl Grey and kidney pie and opium. And my mind has brought about several solutions. The first thought that entered my mind was are you a good troll good sir? The second thought was how much pounds have you acquired? The final thought was why be a mere sheep among the herd when you can start your own school? I have a suggestion for a name: Dr. One's School of Quackery, you can provide a joint degree in trolling which requires at least 1000+ troll postings.

 

[pagemmapants]

True brits drink Tetley. Or at the very least, Twinings.

And Good God, I haven't had steak and kidney pie in forever. Yum!

 

[kevini200]

Yeah, I don't think this guy is serious.--------

Would someone tell me what your (alls) definition of a "troll" is.

-Kevin

 

[NapeSpikes]

C'mon, OP, this thread has been done before, and much better. Get a life, or at least some creativity.

 

[Jaykms]

1. troll

One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument

 

[Napoleon4000]

Well, if you don't get into the school, that is after bribing the dean with a hefty sum of money, you CAN at least ask if they can name the school after you. Or may name a building after you. 1E6 bucks goes a long way. Good luck "old chap." Future advice, if you are going to actually do this, don't post on a public forum. Bribery IS against the law. Hehehehehe.

 

[Dr Trek 1]

Even though this guy is a troll, this brings up a good point.

I am a firm believer that money can buy most anything (it is just a matter for money, for instance, to fund the research to be able to successfully mimic the neurotransmitters secreted for "true love" or "true happiness").

A med school admission certainly can be bought, you don't even need to bribe. Just write a check for a few million or so to the school and enclose a letter about how much you love the school and hope they will put it to good use for the benefit of the school. I guarantee you'll get accepted.

 

[ND2005]

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

Haven't we learned from e-mail phishing not to trust people who claim they won the British lottery?

 

[RayhanS1282]

I'm seriously gonna start a new thread:
"How to politely slip a C-note to the interviewer?"

(a) Casually hand it to him/her while shaking hands.

(b) While they are asking you, "Why medical School X?", you cock your eyebrow, and gently push forward a $20 bill wrapped in a note that says, "you tell me" and lean back, looking coy as hell.

(c) Or say, "Did you drop this?" and hold up a $20 note. But if they say "no" then say, "do you want it?" (look coy here as well).

 

[Jaykms]

I'm seriously gonna start a new thread:
"How to politely slip a C-note to the interviewer?"

(a) Casually hand it to him/her while shaking hands.

(b) While they are asking you, "Why medical School X?", you cock your eyebrow, and gently push forward a $20 bill wrapped in a note that says, "you tell me" and lean back, looking coy as hell.

(c) Or say, "Did you drop this?" and hold up a $20 note. But if they say "no" then say, "do you want it?" (look coy here as well).

 

[happydays]

(d) When the interviewer says "Hi," say "Hi, and a couple of my friends want to say Hi too," then take out a wad of money.

 

[gostudy]

Yeah, I don't think this guy is serious.--------

Would someone tell me what your (alls) definition of a "troll" is.

-Kevin

Amusing: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll

Informative: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

 

[Dr Trek 1]

$20???

If I was an interviewer and someone slipped me a $20 I'd laugh in their face. It would take at least $1,000 cash or cashier check for me to start writing stellar comments about them

 

[{:(]

Go to a foreign school and buy a residency spot, it might be cheaper you rich SOB, troll, child, or whatever you may be.

 

[nikibean]

Yet, this posting leads us to another point:

I would never, ever want someone who did this to be my physician. Ever.
Demonstrates a "money can fix anything/I can be bought" attitude. Do you want that person examining you intimately?
End of story.

Try posting on craigslist RnR where at least people are used to trolls.

And now off for a nice pint...

 

[Jaykms]

There are actually schools you can buy seats at (legitimately). One of my Russian friends bought a seat at a Russian school near his hometown.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

yes. many of us have tried this strategy as many of us have won national lotteries. in fact i won a national lottery. yeah they confirmed it via e-mail. to top it off some guy is going to give me $25 million just to transfer some funds from some dead lady who has no kids. thats it. so i am using this new found money to invest in a pyramid opportunity. i suggest you do the same.

 

[Jaykms]

...

 

[45408]

if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

I dropped over $12 million paying off the entire adcom. That sucked. 🙁 I could've picked up a few Veyrons at that cost.


Anyways, I'd recommend bribing an MCAT proctor to let you take the MCAT with a group of friends (*cough* PhDs). If you handed some random proctor a suitcase with $50,000 in it, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to do whatever you wanted.

 

[omgwtfbbq?]

stop posting. you're just being disruptive. No english major says things like
"I have took the med school preqrequisite classes." It's "I took , or, I have already taken" and "althought I be a clever boy" should be "I am a clever boy" So good luck getting into medical school, because a copy editor job is not in your future 🙂

Hello. I have got a degree from a good school in English, and I have took the med school prerequisite classes. However, although I be a clever boy, or reasonably so, I have done quite poorly in my studies. I would not consider myself a competitive candidate for medical school admissions. However, on a recent visit to the UK, I managed to win quite a sizeable sum of money in the national lottery. Due to the nice exchange rate, it translates into even more dollars than pounds. I really want to be a doctor more than anything else, so I figure if I throw some money at an admissions dean I will get in most likely. Has anyone else tried this strategy, and if so, do you recommend I start the bribing at $500k or 1 mill? Thanks

 

[Dr Trek 1]

Anyways, I'd recommend bribing an MCAT proctor to let you take the MCAT with a group of friends (*cough* PhDs). If you handed some random proctor a suitcase with $50,000 in it, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to do whatever you wanted.

You'd have to pay off more people: the AAMC site administrator, the other proctors, students who saw you do so, etc.

Unforunately most anything can be bought in our country and it happens all the time. The mob is a real occuring, thriving business for instance, and Americans refuse to believe it. The mob rips people off by doing stuff like this all the time. They do it the easier way, though, I have heard they pay someone to take the exam in their place. Easier than paying off many individuals at the center.

 

[C.P. Jones]

I'm seriously gonna start a new thread:
"How to politely slip a C-note to the interviewer?"

(a) Casually hand it to him/her while shaking hands.

(b) While they are asking you, "Why medical School X?", you cock your eyebrow, and gently push forward a $20 bill wrapped in a note that says, "you tell me" and lean back, looking coy as hell.

(c) Or say, "Did you drop this?" and hold up a $20 note. But if they say "no" then say, "do you want it?" (look coy here as well).

if you're interviewing at GW you can use (c), but instead use a dollar bill and say "look what i found on the ground. looks like this belongs to the school"

ok, that's dumb, but i don't care

 

[Shredder]

Even though this guy is a troll, this brings up a good point.

I am a firm believer that money can buy most anything (it is just a matter for money, for instance, to fund the research to be able to successfully mimic the neurotransmitters secreted for "true love" or "true happiness").

A med school admission certainly can be bought, you don't even need to bribe. Just write a check for a few million or so to the school and enclose a letter about how much you love the school and hope they will put it to good use for the benefit of the school. I guarantee you'll get accepted.

excellent post

how much do you guys think it would really take to buy admission into a med school? i guess it depends on many things--credentials, caliber of the school. well it would be interesting to take account of some of those and speculate on the price of admissions. you wouldnt have to tell them if you like the school, and you could bomb the app and interview. with a decent check anything could be overlooked. adcom members and administration would love to have a few thousand (each) to fund their research or finance new facilities/programs. if you give enough you can even have it named after you.

 

[veenut]

I'm seriously gonna start a new thread:
"How to politely slip a C-note to the interviewer?"

(a) Casually hand it to him/her while shaking hands.

(b) While they are asking you, "Why medical School X?", you cock your eyebrow, and gently push forward a $20 bill wrapped in a note that says, "you tell me" and lean back, looking coy as hell.

(c) Or say, "Did you drop this?" and hold up a $20 note. But if they say "no" then say, "do you want it?" (look coy here as well).

a c-note is a $100 bill, a "benjamin", if you will.

a hamilton is a $20 bill, and when properly used, is dropped as if you were aaron burr.