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Hello all,
I am about to finish with my APP and ma stuck on my essay. This is like draft 7 or so. Can you give me some comments?
Thanks,
Sepaul
Before the age of 27 my parents had died of cancer. Both underwent chemotherapy and radiation therapy and later benefited from meditation and exercise. After a bout with tuberculosis I caught on the Iberian Peninsula, my focus shifted from the politics of Mexico-US border issues to pursuing a career in medicine.
As a freshman at the University of California at Davis I was determined to study medicine. A heavy science load combined with na?ve study skills resulted in poor grades. On the advice of my father, a psychiatrist, I enrolled in Intro to Psychology and a Spanish course. Growing up in the Sacramento Valley, spending time at with friends at quinceneras and picnics allowed me to pick up Spanish. Spanish classes in high school and university deepened my friendships while fueling my desire to understand the relation between language and the mind. I took a teaching assistant position at the Davis High Migrant Mathematics program to explore this relationship.
Raul, a seventh grader, had faith that academics could lift him out of his dilapidated house in rural Yolo County. Raul and his family had limited access to health care. I enrolled in the education abroad program at the University of Granada in Spain with the goal of majoring in Spanish and psychology. The striking similarities between the Moroccan shantytowns of the farming communities of rural Andalusia and Yolo County solidified my desire to stay involved in my community. Despite boasting a bustling economy, like in California, Spain grappled with the quagmire of providing healthcare and education to immigrants.
Towards the end of winter quarter of my senior year, I fell ill to tuberculosis. Suffering from a chronic cough, weight loss, headaches and lethargy, my attendance and grades plummeted. After a positive skin test doctors discovered a lung cavitation the size of a large walnut. The severity of my condition called for intensive three-drug therapy for an entire year. Six months later I applied and was accepted to a graduate school renowned for both their language program and focus on Mexican-American border issues.
While at the Monterey Institute of International Studies, my mother?s breast cancer reoccurred. Two years before she underwent aggressive treatment including surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and unfortunately the doctors had exhausted all medical treatment. During this time, my mother was introduced to Barbara, a cancer survivor. Her cancer would grow and regress, much to the surprise of her doctors. Barbara educated my mother on the benefits of eating organic foods and stress reduction through meditation and exercise. My mother diligently followed her spiritual and nutritional plan and it unleashed newfound energy. Vigorous walks were central to my mother?s health. I have vivid memories of strolls along the walnut groves by our family home. When my legs faltered my mother would insist politely we keep pace.
Medicine gave her three years of life, but, it was her sense of humor throughout the worst of times that helped my six siblings and I cope. She gracefully endured the pain for many months, finally passing away one day after her sixtieth birthday.
My mother?s strength throughout her illness solidified my desire to leave international relations and pursue a medical degree. I took classes and worked at the Scripps Research Institute as a Scientific Intern quickly advancing up the ranks to Lab Technician level. Traveling twice a month to La Esperanza, a community clinic supporting the indigent of Tijuana, provided invaluable insights into medical care. La Esperanza trains health promoters to educate the community on prevention of diseases like cervical cancer and management of chronic aliments like diabetes. I spent my time translating for patients and an internist, Dr. Biederman, who explained to me diagnostic information, treatment options and how he formulated his conclusion. On our ride across the border, we discussed how familial support, sanitation; allocation of resources, and community empowerment could provide the essential components of healthy living on the Tijuana border.
Tragedy struck once again when doctors diagnosed my father with esophageal cancer. My father?s cancer was an unsettling reminder of my struggle to accept my mother?s mortality. Through my dialogue with death and my exposure chronic disease in Tijuana, I was able to accept his death and embrace the time we shared. After completing chemotherapy and radiation, his cancer aggressively returned. My father continued to perform his duties as medical director of a state run methadone clinic and faithfully practice Tai Chi until he passed away six months later.
Before I started college, I only aspired to be a physician, now I have learned that attaining this goal will bring a sense of fulfillment and joy. My most powerful motivation to pursue medicine is embodied in the spirit in which my parents embraced life. In truth, disease only eroded away the bodies of my parents, but their unrelenting passion to live is source of my strength.
I am about to finish with my APP and ma stuck on my essay. This is like draft 7 or so. Can you give me some comments?
Thanks,
Sepaul
Before the age of 27 my parents had died of cancer. Both underwent chemotherapy and radiation therapy and later benefited from meditation and exercise. After a bout with tuberculosis I caught on the Iberian Peninsula, my focus shifted from the politics of Mexico-US border issues to pursuing a career in medicine.
As a freshman at the University of California at Davis I was determined to study medicine. A heavy science load combined with na?ve study skills resulted in poor grades. On the advice of my father, a psychiatrist, I enrolled in Intro to Psychology and a Spanish course. Growing up in the Sacramento Valley, spending time at with friends at quinceneras and picnics allowed me to pick up Spanish. Spanish classes in high school and university deepened my friendships while fueling my desire to understand the relation between language and the mind. I took a teaching assistant position at the Davis High Migrant Mathematics program to explore this relationship.
Raul, a seventh grader, had faith that academics could lift him out of his dilapidated house in rural Yolo County. Raul and his family had limited access to health care. I enrolled in the education abroad program at the University of Granada in Spain with the goal of majoring in Spanish and psychology. The striking similarities between the Moroccan shantytowns of the farming communities of rural Andalusia and Yolo County solidified my desire to stay involved in my community. Despite boasting a bustling economy, like in California, Spain grappled with the quagmire of providing healthcare and education to immigrants.
Towards the end of winter quarter of my senior year, I fell ill to tuberculosis. Suffering from a chronic cough, weight loss, headaches and lethargy, my attendance and grades plummeted. After a positive skin test doctors discovered a lung cavitation the size of a large walnut. The severity of my condition called for intensive three-drug therapy for an entire year. Six months later I applied and was accepted to a graduate school renowned for both their language program and focus on Mexican-American border issues.
While at the Monterey Institute of International Studies, my mother?s breast cancer reoccurred. Two years before she underwent aggressive treatment including surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and unfortunately the doctors had exhausted all medical treatment. During this time, my mother was introduced to Barbara, a cancer survivor. Her cancer would grow and regress, much to the surprise of her doctors. Barbara educated my mother on the benefits of eating organic foods and stress reduction through meditation and exercise. My mother diligently followed her spiritual and nutritional plan and it unleashed newfound energy. Vigorous walks were central to my mother?s health. I have vivid memories of strolls along the walnut groves by our family home. When my legs faltered my mother would insist politely we keep pace.
Medicine gave her three years of life, but, it was her sense of humor throughout the worst of times that helped my six siblings and I cope. She gracefully endured the pain for many months, finally passing away one day after her sixtieth birthday.
My mother?s strength throughout her illness solidified my desire to leave international relations and pursue a medical degree. I took classes and worked at the Scripps Research Institute as a Scientific Intern quickly advancing up the ranks to Lab Technician level. Traveling twice a month to La Esperanza, a community clinic supporting the indigent of Tijuana, provided invaluable insights into medical care. La Esperanza trains health promoters to educate the community on prevention of diseases like cervical cancer and management of chronic aliments like diabetes. I spent my time translating for patients and an internist, Dr. Biederman, who explained to me diagnostic information, treatment options and how he formulated his conclusion. On our ride across the border, we discussed how familial support, sanitation; allocation of resources, and community empowerment could provide the essential components of healthy living on the Tijuana border.
Tragedy struck once again when doctors diagnosed my father with esophageal cancer. My father?s cancer was an unsettling reminder of my struggle to accept my mother?s mortality. Through my dialogue with death and my exposure chronic disease in Tijuana, I was able to accept his death and embrace the time we shared. After completing chemotherapy and radiation, his cancer aggressively returned. My father continued to perform his duties as medical director of a state run methadone clinic and faithfully practice Tai Chi until he passed away six months later.
Before I started college, I only aspired to be a physician, now I have learned that attaining this goal will bring a sense of fulfillment and joy. My most powerful motivation to pursue medicine is embodied in the spirit in which my parents embraced life. In truth, disease only eroded away the bodies of my parents, but their unrelenting passion to live is source of my strength.
