1. Dismiss Notice
  2. Download free Tapatalk for iPhone or Tapatalk for Android for your phone and follow the SDN forums with push notifications.
    Dismiss Notice

Close-minded, racist, heterosexist classmates

Discussion in 'Psychology [Psy.D. / Ph.D.]' started by SynapticPruning, Aug 8, 2011.

  1. SynapticPruning

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi,

    I hate a lot of my classmates. Many of them say racist things, heterosexist things, and are very close-minded. Have others dealt with this? I am upset not only because of the things I hear but because I thought that people who want to be psychologists should be open-minded to all walks of life. I hate that I moved from home to this place where I hear this awful **** at least once a week. These are people who have passed a class on multicultural competency. Whenever I have tried to tell someone about it they would say things like "well some people just say racist things" or act like i'm making a big deal out of nothing. I have tried educating the worst offender but this backfired. The person no longer said racists comments around me because they absolutely avoided me and thus were able to say nothing to me.

    Sorry if this sounds more like a ranting rather than anything else. How have other people dealt with similar situations? Would it be appropriate for me to complain about this to the DT? How should I go about it? I am so hurt by all this I can't just keep quiet about it. I feel like I may be seen as a complainer because in the past I complained to the DT about a rude professor.

    I guess I should just be happy that I wont have to see them again until graduation or during internship interviews.

    Thanks for your time.
     
    #1 SynapticPruning, Aug 8, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  2. Note: SDN Members do not see this ad.

  3. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    Hi Synaptic,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I can't say I'm surprised, but I am disgusted.

    I did my undergrad in psych and one of the reasons that I didn't go on in the field was that I observed these types of attitudes amongst peers and professors too (tremendous sexism as well). Initially I thought it was characteristic of psych as a discipline, but I've seen similar in social work and other social science disciplines. I belong to a group which suffers discrimination and have had to endure some truly idiotic statements from peers and especially from profs, perhaps especially from those who identify as "progressive" on other issues.

    I can't advise re the psych-specific aspects, but in my experience the way you get through grad school is you find a small group of like-minded peers and buoy each other through. If you are at a university-based program there may be a queer/LGBTQIA grad student listserve where you can meet folks in other departments who will "get it," regardless of whether they are queer-identified or allies. If you can't find allies on campus, perhaps you can find folks off-campus (grad student friends can get kinda boring anyway).

    Full disclosure: I'm not a big fan of the grad school experience overall--like many others who've gotten hip to the burst academic bubble, I alternate between considering it to be an institutionalized form of hazing and an outright scam--but it's important to remember the issue of power. If you don't have the support of your adviser/committee members on these issues, you may be alienating people whose support you will need down the line. Most profs I've met just want things to go smoothly so they can get on with their research and get a pay grade raise and maybe some awards. Bumps in the road mean more work for them. Similarly, administrators want to go home on time. Keep in mind it's not just a matter of whether your adviser is on board, but who advises the "perpetrators." Your adviser's support may be irrelevant if s/he is Dr. New Faculty Member and the most egregious folks are advised by the department chair.

    In other words: I think your objections are valid and the inclination to take action is admirable. But watch your back.
     
    #2 wigflip, Aug 8, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2011
  4. PerhapsMaybeOk

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    7
    I hope you aren't all getting trolled.
     
  5. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    .
     
    #4 wigflip, Aug 8, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  6. PerhapsMaybeOk

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    7
    I was referring to the original poster. First post smells like a troll
     
  7. 2012PhD

    2012PhD Psychology Resident

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    468
    Likes Received:
    1
    Status:
    Psychologist
    Hi there:

    Sorry to hear about your experience. All the graduate students that I went to school with and trained with at externships were extremely sensitive to multicultural issues and appropriate. My collegues have been very appropriate so I think your experience may be an anomaly. Seek friends outside your program and get to know people in the field through other training experiences. Most people in the field are very aware of multicultural issues so i don't think this experience should sour you.

    Btw, I wonder if you are attending a university based program or a for profit university?
     
  8. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    Oops. Sorry. My apologies.
     
  9. aequitasveritas

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
    Messages:
    643
    Likes Received:
    9
    Status:
    Psychologist

    Hysterical...stop trolling
     
  10. PsychMonkey

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2011
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    4
    Status:
    Psychologist
    You are absolutely correct. Our duty as psychologists is to respect human diversity. It is not only in the APA code of ethics, but I am sure your school has a diversity policy as well. So while you may feel a bit uncomfortable socially for a moment by standing up for what is right, you have a strong moral, legal, and ethical backing. Most importantly, the action you take now will have the greatest effect upon you and the person you become in the future. Whether that action is positive, negative, or non-existent.

    First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out --
    Because I was not a Socialist.
    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out --
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out --
    Because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak for me.
    Martin Niemöller
    I wish you the best and I know for a fact diversity can be embraced, even deep in the South.
     
  11. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    At the risk of being flamed here, with the exception of a few of those comments, many of those comments would be "run-of the mill" in the general population. And indeed, in many parts of america, subtle forms of bias, such as stereotyping likes these, are entrenched and run deep. I know it was when and where I grew-up. Just because one gains admittance to a clinical psychology program doesn't mean that they will be free of this relatively common (although ultimately harmful) forms of bias.

    I would also venture to say that some of these comments represent little more than insensitive attempts at humor that just so happen to use common stereotypes as the punchline. None of these are really appropriate, but I guarantee that all of us are guilty of attempting to make some sort of humorous gaf using some sort of cultural stereotype at some point in our lives. Humor like this is all over TV mind you...just watch 5 minutes of Family Guy, the Simpsons, Modern Family, or almost any sitcom.
     
    #10 erg923, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  12. psydtobe

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    15
    although this person may be a "troll" i have seen and heard way worse in my entire academic career. people don't always tend to change their views despite education. i personally have accepted that and been willing to answer questions or express my discontent with a statement. i had one professor tell me i was "foolish to follow what the pope tells me to do", when in fact i am not even catholic :(
     
  13. KillerDiller

    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,560
    Likes Received:
    51
    Status:
    Post Doc
    I guess in that case, it would be especially foolish ;).

    In all seriousness, culturally trained psychologists should be more sensitive than this, and I'm surprised it is so prevalent in the OP's program. This is definitely not true in every program. However, as Erg pointed out, these types of remarks are fairly common in the general population. I would be surprised if there was anyone here who had never had to deal with a group they belong to being maligned--even in a jocular way. I have found the best way to deal with it is to calmly explain why the remark is incorrect, using humor yourself if possible. Reacting angrily is just going to put the defenses of the perpetrator up, and then he or she can go back to the standard "you're being too sensitive" position. This will entrench their original viewpoint even further.
     
  14. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have to take issue with this response. :mad:

    Granted, you state that this form of bias is "ultimately harmful", but it's this kind of minimizing and jutifying response that allows the biased type of behaivor to continue. Yes, this type of bigoted language and humor is common, but that doesn't make any of it acceptable. Full disclosure: I am African-American and my experience is that most of those who make excuses (of ANY kind) for this type of thing are caucasian (and most likely straight).

    As a person who has had to suffer the real life effect of dealing with this kind of "insensitive attempts at humor that just so happens to use common stereotypes as the punchline" I will say that the fact that it is common isn't a legitimate justification and seeing someone try to use that as an arguement is offensive. :mad:

    Troll or no troll, psychology field or other, there is NOTHING acceptable or minimal about the type of behavior described in the original post. Those kinds of "run of the mill" comments would get you fired in my working environment and thank goodness for that.
     
  15. PerhapsMaybeOk

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    7
    I'm usually too sarcastic and busy to respond but you know it's a troll because rather than saying "I over heard my classmates talking about racial stereotypes about asian men" they stated "asian boys have small peni..." etc. See what I mean? We can intuit some of those comments; it's a troll because they actually typed those ridiculous things out.
     
  16. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    Relax pal, Im not justifying anything. I was simply explaining that, although these are inappropriate statements, they shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone...especially considering that I have heard 10 times worse on Family Guy. Which airs every Sunday evening in a primetime slot by the way. And then we wonder why this gets ingrained into the youth.
     
    #15 erg923, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  17. Jon Snow

    Jon Snow Senior Member
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    371
    Have you ever watched BET? Perhaps def comedy jams? And it's white people that do this? I'm not the most PC fellow on the planet, I admit that, but comedy is by it's nature based on things that people can relate to. ****. Chris Rock has a bit he does, "I hate - insert n word here-". Sometimes it's funny sometimes it's not. As a general rule, id avoid any kind of gender, racial, religious, or sex humor in a work environment.
     
  18. stigmata

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2010
    Messages:
    447
    Likes Received:
    3
    Status:
    Psychologist
    " I am African-American and my experience is that most of those who make excuses (of ANY kind) for this type of thing are caucasian (and most likely straight). "

    Wow, that is not racist or sexist at all......
     
  19. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    I can totally imagine Keith Moon saying this, then flicking his cigarette ash! ;)

    "Family Guy" is satire, as is "The Simpsons." There's some critical distance between what the characters say and the actual POV of the show. As audience members, we're supposed to see Homer as an oaf for being insensitive.
     
  20. aequitasveritas

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
    Messages:
    643
    Likes Received:
    9
    Status:
    Psychologist
    This is the line that shows us it's a troll. So...let's stop feeding it! chuckle

    If it ain't a troll....it's an axis II issue....either way, you'd have to pay me to get on this crescendo of amygdala
     
  21. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am in no way your pal and do not tell me what to do. :sleep:

    BET has nothing to do with the issue, and yes, in my experience as an ethnic minority, it's most often caucasians who are the first to jump in and minimize or deny any type of racial insensitivity when it is identified or suggested. Kind of like what's happening on this thread...:laugh:

    It isn't. It is an observation based on experience.
     
  22. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    You got it, buddy (flicks cigarette)
     
  23. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    :sleep::sleep::sleep::sleep:
     
  24. stigmata

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2010
    Messages:
    447
    Likes Received:
    3
    Status:
    Psychologist
    "It isn't. It is an observation based on experience."

    And that is the basis for all racist and sexist stereotypes. You see what you expect. Just because you are black does not mean you are given a free pass card.
     
  25. Therapist4Chnge

    Therapist4Chnge Neuropsych Ninja Faculty
    Faculty Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2006
    Messages:
    21,337
    Likes Received:
    2,236
    Status:
    Psychologist
    Some of the worst racism I have seen has been within-group. Contrary to popular belief, being from a particular group does not allow you more expertise or "right" to identify the presence and prevelance of racism. Racism is a construct that can be appreciated regardless of group, though some groups are more/less likely to acknoweldge it as "normal". Being of one group compared to another does not mean you are less racist.
     
  26. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    WOW! I never said that because I was black I was given any type of fee pass card. Nor did I suggest that in any way. That was a racist projection on your part.

    I can see where this is going and and sadly, I am not at all surprised. Thanks for proving my point.
     
  27. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Once again, not what I said at all. I never said that being from one group or another means you a less racist. Nor did I say that my being black allows me any more expertise. You can take issue with what I wrote all you want, but please don't put words in my mouth. Or in my post.
     
  28. AcronymAllergy

    AcronymAllergy Neuropsychologist
    Moderator Psychologist Gold Donor Classifieds Approved 7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2010
    Messages:
    7,056
    Likes Received:
    1,340
    Status:
    Psychologist
    You realize, though, that many people making generalized, stereotype-based, racist comments could/would likely say the same thing, yes?
     
  29. SuperP35

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2010
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sadly, acronym I have to admit I do. But I took the risk in stating it because it is true and it is something I have seen happen over and over again, this thread included.
     
  30. RileyG

    RileyG School of Hard Knocks
    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    1
    Status:
    Psychology Student
    "You realize, though, that many people making generalized, stereotype-based, racist comments could/would likely say the same thing, yes?"

    How do you know the race and sexual orientation of the people on this thread?
     
  31. Jon Snow

    Jon Snow Senior Member
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    371
    We've been talking about racial/religious/sexist/heterosexist jokes. This isn't something that whites have a monopoly on. You have no idea what the racial/cultural background is of those posting in this thread. Though for disclosure, I'm a white dude. That, of course, tells you exactly nothing of my views, beliefs, or even cultural background. Likewise, that you're African American tells me basically nothing about you. You made a comment that it is usually whites that jump in to minimize or deny racial insensitivity, which means, at present, you are the only one to promote a racial generalization in this thread. Good job.

    Btw, here is your quote again:

    I responded with a high profile example of comedy that is peppered with bigoted language/humor (BET). If they are doing it, are they not making excuses for it? Personally, I think, depending on the context, that racial/sex/cultural humor is funny. Apparently, lots of people agree with that. Does that make it racist? Who determines acceptability? Certainly, you don't seem qualified, given that you nailed white people with clearly no intention at humor.

    ps, one possible explanation for your observation. . . perhaps, you've only seen white people accused of racial insensitivity, just a thought.
     
    #30 Jon Snow, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  32. DrGachet

    Removed

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2010
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    0
    What is it with people diagnosing others based on a few posts or in this case a single post?! It's one thing to call someone a potential troll but another to say something like that.

    As for SynapticPruning, I withhold my suggestion till this person replies to some of the comments made.
     
  33. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    Let me give you some words of wisdom my grad school mentor gave to me. I suggest you remember it.

    "Your personal experiences are, inevitably, a small and limited sample of this world. Your personal experiences are not an empirical study of the subject. So be careful with your convictions."
     
    #32 erg923, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  34. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    As for the OP, I'm not sure much can be done. I would follow KilledDillers advice certainly, but unless you yourself become the target of bias or aggression, there's not much to be done I'm afraid. Of course you can go to your department chair, but I'm not sure a few off-color comments from fellow students warrants any concrete disciplinary action on behalf of the program.
     
  35. rocketdog83

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Psychology Student
    Have to agree this seems trollish.

    But I just want to pick one example and say that if a woman is uncomfortable with lesbians and being hit on, I wouldn't first go to the conclusion that they are a bad/homophobic person and report them to the Dean. They probably just need to hang out with a couple lesbians and actually get to know them. In our field we'll likely be working with people from all kinds of backgrounds and people who hold beliefs very different from our own. I'd hope the vast majority of people in our field can self-prescribe exposure when/if needed :p
     
  36. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    I didn't think so at first, but now I agree.

    I agree that this lesbian example doesn't warrant "reporting" to anyone, but the comment (in OP's post) certainly evokes a prevalent homophobic discourse (that queer folks are hypersexualized and will hit on or try to "convert" straight folks). It's pretty unsophisticated at the very least.
     
  37. erg923

    erg923 Regional Clinical Officer, Cenpatico National
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Messages:
    9,539
    Likes Received:
    3,139
    Status:
    Psychologist
    If it is a trolling post, I think taking specific comments and talking about them or trying to minimize them was exactly what they would be hoping to accomplish.

    If you notice, there is awfully wide variety of comments there...if you know what I mean.
     
  38. SynapticPruning

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am not a troll. Though saying so probably does not sway the minds of many in this thread. I don't know why people are jumping to this conclusion from one post. I was very upset and emotional and angry and needed help from peers and this is where I went. I am sorry if I seemed like a troll. I posted the comments that I posted because they are the legitimate things that my classmates have said in front of me. I posted actual statements rather than just saying "racist comments" because when I tried going to a few others they always asked me for examples of what was it that I thought was racist or inappropriate. Sorry.

    I agree that this stuff is heard every day on TV in shows like Family Guy and South Park. I enjoy these shows just like many others in my age group, however, unlike my classmates I know that this is satire like wigflip said. Unlike my classmates I'm not going to take what I heard from these shows and think it is fact and describe people I know in such ways. Someone with graduate training should be smart enough to realize its wrong to tell a racial minority or LGBT person something off-color they heard on TV. Thank you for your comments wigflip. It's one thing to joke with friends, but these comments were all made in 100% seriousness. For example, when I confronted my female classmates about their bias views on lesbians they replied that we were no longer in class. I was viewed upon negatively for disagreeing with them.

    Just because I am upset from the insensitive comments of my classmates does not mean I have an Axis II disorder. Like DrGachet said, that would be pretty hard to diagnose from one post.

    I know reporting people to the DT seems extreme and unwarranted. I was just upset and had no other thoughts on what I could possibly do, thus is why I came looking to this board for answers. I know that doing so would probably be fruitless as erg923 stated. Some of these comments were directed at me, but as you said not much I can do.
     
    #37 SynapticPruning, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  39. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    Glad to be helpful. Sorry I eventually got won over by the troll argument, but I think some of us thought your absence signified trollishness ( a real word?)

    That's rotten--"we can be bigots now that mommy and daddy aren't looking." I'm so sorry.

    You just need two friends to help keep you sane during grad school (really you need one but the second one is good insurance against attrition or early graduation). If you aren't clicking with anyone in your cohort or outside your department, maybe you'll meet someone cool in another cohort (2nd year and up)? My best galpal in my program is a year above me. It really helps to have someone to commiserate with.

    Good luck.
     
  40. PsychMonkey

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2011
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    4
    Status:
    Psychologist
    This post is not meant to insinuate trollishness or a lack thereof. Personally, I think a very important issue was raised regardless of the validity of the original claim. (I mean no offense by that statement, I take your post to be your truth.) I have prejudices. I would dare say the overwhelming majority of us do. The key for me is to know myself well enough so that these prejudices don't prevent me of being maximum service to my client. The arguments that passed back and forth in this thread all contained truths. Most do not like to admit to having a mind that is closed to certain subjects, but until the admission comes, at least to one's self, growth will never occur. It takes courage to grow, something I often find I lack until I need it bad enough or my current situation gets to uncomfortable. Prejudice does not serve us clinically. I wonder how many children have been saved because someone was brave enough to temporarily set aside prejudice and work with a pedophile to prevent continued victimization. We are in the business of serving humanity; we don't get to choose who gets to belong.
     
  41. psydtobe

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    15
    Excellent post psychmonkey! The last few sentences really stood out to me ;)
     
  42. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    I agree that psychmonkey seems to make some sense. But if I understand correctly, self-awareness of prejudice and growth are not what the OP is talking about.

    Most straight women who are mature enough to attend graduate school have already become adept at deflecting unwanted attention from straight men. We don't usually go around wringing our hands about the possibility that a guy might hit on us or avoid men's company to protect against such an outcome. I would hope that future clinicians would be more concerned about how to respond when clients with poor boundaries "hit on" them than the improbable possibility that some "lesbians" would decide that homophobic straight women are delectable morsels worth pursuing.

    Getting together as a group and reinforcing this kind of nonsense is moving in the opposite direction from working on one's prejudices. It's shoring them up by using them as a common ground over which to bond. And exclude those who disagree, as the OP notes.
     
    #41 wigflip, Aug 10, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2011
  43. DrGachet

    Removed

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2010
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think grad school, or life for that matter, is too harsh for the idealist and romantic amongst us.

    So it is true that most of us in grad school are also not saints either, far from it. We have our own prejudices, and generally, many shortcomings. Some seasoned and well respected therapists have in fact openly talked about their own countertransference to particular patients, say, to obese people. It is a reminder, tragic to the idealist, that we are human beings and not perfect.

    Having said that, it is one thing to have unconscious prejudices or conscious ones in private, and another to come out and say it to somebody's face like that. Sometimes it's more pronounced at a particular school or with particular cohort. I don't have any empirical evidence for this but I have seen how it takes only a few students with the same mentality to set a norm and normalize all sorts of rude behavior. I even see it in forums, where certain members can get away with all sorts of rudeness, depending on the particular subculture there or which scapegoat the larger culture has adopted at that point in time.

    In any case, personally I would not do anything about it if it does not happen very often. But if it does and the comments are rather extreme or pain me quite a bit, I would let the person know it's hurtful (anticipating that saying so may alienate that person, and also that he may continue to say those things at least when I'm not around). I would say how hurtful those comments are to me, and if being brushed aside, say how would she feel if she were subjected to sexist, racist, or whatever comments on a daily basis? I would frame the whole thing in a positive manner, like saying something about the person's sense of humor or something. Don't say anything if your main goal is a major change in those people's thinking or general behavior. Do say something if at least to reaffirm yourself and stand up for your values, and to reduce that behavior in your presence.

    Just an opinion, of course, and you get to make the final decision, and live with consequences, whether you say something or not. Best of luck.
     
  44. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    I don't know. I guess I'm not only uneasy with the prejudice inherent in the aforementioned homophobic bonding session, but how uninformed and immature it makes the offending grad students appear. There's got to be some threshold beneath which folks simply aren't suited to work with the public. I'm not suggesting that the OP "report" it (unless this becomes a persistent pattern of harassment which creates a hostile environment), just that I don't think it's too idealistic to expect more of therapists, especially at the doctoral level. Being that much of a clod is kind of like walking around still believing that schizophrenia is the result of bad mothering.
     
    #43 wigflip, Aug 11, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2011
  45. PerhapsMaybeOk

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    7
  46. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    the cartoon's use of "gay" as a pejorative ties in nicely with our discussion.
     
  47. aequitasveritas

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
    Messages:
    643
    Likes Received:
    9
    Status:
    Psychologist
    that's called humor Doctor...humor
     
  48. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    I don't know why, but every time I see your posts my first (stupid, irrational) thought is:
    "This is the guy who looks like Chuck Norris."
    I hope people don't think I look like my avatar! (note: I wrote that when my avatar was an image of a blobfish--a shapeless blob of glup.)

    By the way, I've appreciated your past posts about the pro-school debt mess. I might be headed down that road myself. I'll probably come to my senses and pull myself back from the brink though.:oops:
     
    #47 wigflip, Aug 11, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2011
  49. 2012PhD

    2012PhD Psychology Resident

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    468
    Likes Received:
    1
    Status:
    Psychologist
    You may start looking and feeling like your avatar if you get weighed down by 200k debt.

    Aren't you the same person who started an MSW program and didn't complete it and is now pursuing a social science PhD (from what i recall)? No judgements here. Just thought it would be more effective this time to pick something more practical and lucrative. You may be able to get into a funded PsyD or PhD, or even land a good job without a graduate degree (only 1% of the population have a PhD and the majority of the country is doing just fine with their BA degrees).
     
  50. wigflip

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    5
    :laugh:
    Don't worry, I'm not taking any leaps just yet. Although I already feel like my avatar (the charmingly hideous "blobfish").

    Yes, I am that same stupid, ridiculous, misguided, mess of a person.:oops:

    Maybe if you're open to further discussion, I'll PM you about this later after I get back from library or in a.m. I've made some colossal boo-boos for sure. I've got a lot going for me (GPA, good at standardized tests, pubs) but even more against (age, geographical limitations, caregiving, look like an educational dilettante). No funded PhD program would take me because of the latter. Still working through the options here :eek:
     
  51. cara susanna

    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    5,365
    Likes Received:
    1,509
    Status:
    Psychologist
    Haha, it's the fish that looks like Ziggy.
     

Share This Page